Has your light burned out?

 Not long ago, I was a busy mom of 6 kids, homeschooling (this was by choice, pre covid), trying my best to make healthy meals, nurture my marriage and my kids, and do a little good in my community too.  I had a happy life, but I was continuously stressed out and annoyed.  I had a hard time wanting to get up each morning.  Little things would set me off, and I found myself feeling panicked and angry without good cause. In order not to lose my temper on my unsuspecting kids, I would hide in my room and pray, or read and say affirmations, or try to meditate and get some peace so I could go back out and greet my family in the way they deserved to be treated and be the kind of mom I really wanted to be.  But I could never get my mind to quiet down, and it didn’t seem to matter how long I stayed in ‘time out.’ I was continually frustrated with myself for not being able to control the anxious feelings that came up.  While I struggled all through the year, winter was the worst, with the darkness and cold weather, and I found myself hiding, crying, and irritable more than ever during those times.  Can you relate?  

 

When my oldest was nearly 18, I finally decided all the things I was doing to manage my moods were not enough.  I’d tried supplements, yoga, meditation, counseling, coaching, energy work, oils, herbs, supplements, diet changes, affirmations, you name it.  I tend to lean towards natural remedies, so I hadn’t tried pharmaceuticals yet, but I was ready to go that route if I couldn’t find a natural way.  I was worried about possible side effects though.  It was at this time that I discovered light therapy.  

 

I have always craved light.  Sunshiny days usually helped me feel more optimistic and gave me energy.  Unfortunately, I live in the North where there is not much sunshine for half the year.  I’m also busy and can’t spend all day outside.  Getting out for a walk did help my mood sometimes, but it wasn’t enough.  When I had a chance to try out a light therapy session, I was drawn to it even though it looked kind of strange.  They had a machine with soft pads you lay on your body that have light diodes embedded in them, and it felt like sunbathing!  I tried a 20 minute Session, and it felt like all my stress and tension was melting away.  When I finished the session, I stood up and realized my mind was quiet and clear for the first time in ages, and my body was relaxed and energized at the same time.  I felt like a huge dark cloud had been lifted off me.  I decided to try the system at home for 2 weeks through their trial program, and see if the results would last.  My family was skeptical at first, but by the end of the 2 weeks, my kids said, “You are nicer lately.  And you aren’t hiding in your room all the time.”  My husband agreed, even though he didn’t understand how it worked, but he could see a change in me that he liked, and he thought I needed to have a light therapy system of my own.  Since then, I have used light therapy nearly every single day for the last 8 years.  It is 20 minutes that I take for myself that is non-negotiable, and it makes all the difference in my ability to be present for my family, and be my best self.  

 

 

I find that many other moms are in the same boat I was, struggling to give their best, but always feeling guilty for having mood swings they can’t control despite valiant efforts.  We blame ourselves but really, it is not usually a deficiency in our character or efforts, it is often a deficiency in something we are not receiving enough of.   For me, it was the nutrient of light (yes, light is a nutrient we need to thrive, like vitamins in our food, and clean water and air!).  I have learned that light actually helps recharge the batteries of our cells, so to speak, and it affects our hormones, sleep, and moods.  Certain colors and wavelengths do a lot of other amazing things too, like helping relieve pain and inflammation, and increasing circulation.  Among other things, our bodies and minds need light in order to recharge and thrive.  What does your body and mind need to thrive?  You may find that you are starved for more time in nature, or more creative outlets, more exercise, or better nutrition in your food.   Whatever it is, I encourage you to find it and make a non-negotiable to commitment to nourish yourself with it, and you may find, like I did, that your family will be the first to notice and be happier for it, because when you take good care of you, then you can be more fully present for them, and be your best.  Don’t let your light burn out.  Self-care is really caring for those you interact with too, and when You shine brighter, the whole family wins!

 

Alysia Humphries is a happy wife and a mom of 7 kids age 5-23.  She loves to read, dance, sing, and learn, especially about wellness principles.  She also loves sharing light therapy with others.  You can learn more about light therapy at www.lumiceuticals.com/alysiahumphries

Last day in Kenya

 Today we had one last safari, at Lake Nakuru national park.  There were flamingoes and baboons and monkeys, which we hadn’t seen before.  We did a little shopping for souvenirs and said our goodbyes.  I felt emotional hugging our guides goodbye, and later, my team members.  These people, and Kenya,  have changed me for the better.  I want to take the lessons back home with me, and the cheerfulness, openness, gratitude, and humble faith I have seen in the people here.  While the people in Kenya have many challenges to overcome, they also have much we are lacking - connection and love for each other in their communities, connection to nature, seeing God in everything, and joy that is not dependent on circumstances.  I have danced and smiled so much while I have been here because that is what they do- they celebrate each day and each blessing.

 So grateful for this experience.  I hope to return someday.

Leaving Lugari, heading to Nakuru

 Today was our last day in Lugari.  It has been such a dream to be here, it really feels like a paradise.  I spent a little time this morning walking the grounds, sipping lemon and honey, taking pictures of the flowers, and just breathing it all in.  I also got to sit in Khayangas lovely outdoor office and talk with her and get to know her better.  I shared some of the things I am learning especially about how women and men need to collaborate and not compete, and how powerful it is when everyone brings their gifts and shares a vision.  Especially in families.  Her vision is huge and she has accomplished a lot to help girls and women.  I love seeing that, and I also love seeing the boys and men step up in support and lend their strength and protection and perspective.  I love seeing how every person has a part to play, whether they are quiet or loud, dynamic or gentle.  We need everyone’s gifts. 

I got to take some pictures at the beautiful fig tree with Robin, and then right before we left we got a group picture too.  Then it was time to get in the jeeps.  I admit I was a little teary realizing that we were leaving our last community, and nearing the end of our adventure.  I don’t know when or if I will ever see the Kenyan people and places again.  And I don’t know when I’ll see some of my sweet friends from our team after this. But I love them all and they are imprinted on my heart.

Then we loaded up for a long drive.  Muneria drove the jeep I was in this time, and we found we have similar likes in music.  He loves several Christian songs I have on my playlists.  He introduced us to some fun Kenyan music too and also shared a fun song that teaches some basic Swahili. 

We drove to Nakuru, which is a big city, much different from the rural areas.  It was not my favorite area.  So much going on everywhere.  But our hotel we stayed at was nice and it was not loud despite being close to the road.  The water was even hot for a shower in some of our rooms.  

Day 10- Celebrations in Lugari

This was a full and beautiful day!  In the morning there was time to walk the beautiful grounds of the healing center, and I enjoyed a cup of hot lemon, honey, and ginger (my favorite!). Listening to the birds sing and soaking in the peace there was like being in the garden of Eden.  My friends joined me outside and we got some fun pictures together.  I love these soul sisters and friends I have made on this trip!

After breakfast, Khayanga took us to the local school, where hundreds of students were waiting for us.  They showed us their garden tower projects, and we planted trees with them.  The kids were so fun to spend time with!  They were all enthusiastic and respectful.  They did a great job with their gardens! I love that they give glory to God in their schools there.

Next we went to the community resource center the Khayanga started.  We toured the grounds and facilities and I was so impressed!  There were offices, a small library, classrooms for technical education and learning English and computer skills, a learning farm, a sewing center, and of course, gardens.  We planted trees at the community center. The people welcomed us with singing, dancing, and drumming.  One sweet lady, Reba, taught me a dance and I planted a tree with her.  She gave me her bracelet and insisted I keep it to remember her.  I am always inspired by how generous the people are despite not having a lot. 

The sewing center with treadle machines

The computer lab, and a pile of newly sewn garden towers

After the tour, there was a celebration.  I found out that every family in attendance was the leader of a group of 20 or more families.  Each member of their groups has garden towers they are growing at home, and they are working together to create farmers cooperatives, so they can sell more of a variety of foods.  They also were excited to announce they had created a micro loan and savings program they all were paying into to help each other start small businesses.  It was amazing to see the hope and excitement they had about being able to not only support themselves, but also to help support each other and those in need.  They are Humanitarians in their own right.  We were set up front and asked to speak, and they said they were excited to learn from us, but I could only tell them how much I am learning from them, their determination, faith, and love for one another.  They are victors and not victims of their circumstances.  They have taken the gifts they received and made them grow and multiply.  They are teaching me about good stewardship and gratitude.

After the celebration, we headed out to the garden, and several families who were new to the community would receive their first garden towers.  Before a new family gets their own tower, they come to the community center and learn how to plant one.  So we planted some garden towers with them, and then we gave them their towers and some seedlings to start with (grown at the community center).  This was also a joyful celebration.  

New recipients of the garden towers

They wanted to touch my hair and said they thought the strands would help the gardens grow.  Haha

The evening was spent back at Bustani Siri retreat center.  I went up on the roof and saw the most beautiful sunset!  Then after dinner, we enjoyed massage therapy, a bonfire, and a healing drum circle. I didn’t have a drum but my sweet friend and roommate, Robin did, and she shared her drum with me.  Several of our new friends from the community also came and brought their drums. The vibrations of the drums, the sounds and sights of nature, the rhythms of the seasons and the connection to the human family all amplified in my heart and I felt so much love and joy! I definitely feel much more pampered than I expected to on this trip!  So much happiness.

 

Day 9 - lake Victoria and a long drive

This morning, we met up with one of the community directors, Christine, and heard her inspiring story.  I also got some beautiful clothes from her.  She runs a sewing center where she employs women in need. She has been through some of the worst conditions a human can endure, even being a victim of human trafficking due to poverty, and has risen above and now is helping other women in situations like she was in, to survive and thrive. You can listen to her speak about her mission here: https://youtu.be/9MSpsz7xeqU

We had a lot of driving on this day, but we took a little time to go see Lake Victoria, and enjoy a boat ride.  This lake is the second largest freshwater lake in the world.  We hoped to see some hippos, which proves to be elusive, but we saw many other animals and interesting sights.  

 

Our guide was a volunteer who loves to educate people about the lake and the animals who live there.  He works to help maintain the delicate ecosystem and the balance between that and the needs of the fishermen.  

We passed some fishing villages, where families including small children could be seen working on the boats and on the shores.  We also saw many interesting water fowl. The lake was beautiful and peaceful.  It’s so big that parts of it are in several countries, including Tanzania and Uganda.    

After our boat ride, we drove several hours to get to Lugari.  We stopped in a big city where they had a shopping mall and the first grocery store I have seen.  Weirdly, they also had a KFC.  They had a nice bathroom with flushing toilets, but you had to pay for toilet paper. 

On the road again

We get to stay most of our remaining days at the retreat center there called Bustani Siri.  It’s one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been! This is very different from any buildings I have seen in Kenya.  Almost like a castle!

  The founder, Khayanga, built it as a place of healing, and she runs a camp every year for underprivileged girls to come and heal, learn leadership skills, and chart a better future for themselves.

Dinner with Khayanga

  She put so much thought into every detail and it shows, from the beautiful landscaping and flowers, to the architecture.  She is originally from Kenya, but went to Canada to go to college.  After staying there for many years, she decided it was time to go home and serve her people.  She is the program director for 100 humanitarians in Lugari now, and has done amazing work there. 

Here’s a video interview about what she is doing in her community: https://youtu.be/AOLzTXinbAs

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