A YELLOW BEARDED SANTA ANYONE?

As you can tell, here is Rayce throughly enjoying his time with Santa. Either he was scared in general, or he just didn't like the bleach job on Santa's eyebrows and beard. You can't really tell in this picture but his hair was more the color of a canary than of snow. We couldn't quite put our finger on where Santa flew in from but I am putting my money on Asia. It is apparent that Rayce can spot an imposter 10 miles away. He knows fake hair color when he sees it. This Santa did not fit Rayce's bill.
I have gone to this Chrismas party every year since I was a little girl and this is the first time they got a different Santa. Needless to say the other Santa kicked this Santa's rump. Say goodbye Canary Santa.
P.S. Santa had a little helper and he gave me the willies too.

shall we catch up?

I have not blogged for quite a while so I thought that I should catch up. Soon enough it will be Christmas and then who has time for anything. What in the world have we been doing since Mike and his big deer masacare: Thanksgiving came and went and it was one of the smallest gatherings I have attended in a long time. We spent it with Mike's mom and there were a total of 7 adults and 1 child. I made my famous yams, the ones that taste more like pie than taters, all I have to say is "yum, yum, yummy". I also made homade rolls for the very first time in my life. I had to do it once before I turned 30! Thanks to Allison's great recipe they turned out fabulous. The food was awesome and the evening low key. Emily and Rick showed up for dessert with their 4 kids so Rayce got to play and didn't get too bored. Thanks Em and Rick. After Thanksgiving we have just been trying to get ready for Christmas. By getting ready I mean shopping and working on projects, not decorating. It is Dec. 13th and no tree, no lights, no nothing. First of all I have minimal decor and second of all, Mike has minimal desire. I am pretty sure he is not even going to attempt putting lights on the house. We are getting a tree tomorrow, and Mike is way into that, so rest assured he is not a scrooge. I wish there was more time to do "Christmasy" things, between work and a traveling husband I don't find much time. Did I mention that it also gets dark way to early. I did go ice skating with my bestest friend Jenna. What an event! They said that we could bring unbrella strollers to push around the rink, so Josh and Rayce ( who are obviously too little to ice skate) could also enjoy the outing. I thought that it would go pretty well, Rayce could watch all the other people skating and that would keep him occupied. Boy was I wrong. He was definately not entertained, he of course wanted to join in the fun. After about 10 min we got off the ice and I was just going to let him walk around. He ended up pushing the stoller in to a ton of people and screaming every time I tried to help. By this time Jenna, Josh, and Jake were off the ice and enjoying a nice dougnut and a cup of hot cocoa. Don't worry, after a millon people gave me the evil eye because my child was a screaming kamakazi stroller driver, we left. No doughnut, no cocoa, no nothing! I hope that Jenna will still be my friend! I am totally embellishing but it was quite the experience.
That pretty much does it for catching up. Now on to Christmas, I really can't wait to see how Rayce takes it all in. He gets to see Santa on Sunday, I'll let you know how it goes. HO HO HO

Redneck for the week.

After a week in Montana with a cattle rancher that does guided hunts every year for five weeks in the fall I think I have had a good taste of what it takes to become a real redneck. The name of said cattle rancher/mule deer guide is Mark DeCock. I know what you are thinking about the last name and trust me my friend and I already tore that name apart in every way we could. Mark is a great guy that has live in Forsyth, Montana his whole life. If you have ever felt like moving and you think you hate the place you live try Forsyth, Montana. You will come home loving where you live. I would rather live in Nephi, UT. So that should give you an idea of how cool Forsyth is. Any way back to the hunt. So we got there on Saturday night and started hunting Sunday morning. We did some awesome hikes and tried to get some great dear, but they were to smart for us stupid humans. On Tuesday night on our way back into town we saw some deer at the entrance to Mark's property and stopped to glass them. For you non-hunting types "glassing" means looking at them through binoculars. So as we were glassing we saw a really nice dear in the group. I asked Mark if he thought I should take that one. He said he thought it was to late and that we would come back in the morning. The next morning the deer were still there. Mark and I started walking up the side of the road as the deer we were going after was moving towards some other deer. As we got closer we could see that there were some other bucks in the group. We saw this one in the picture and decided he was the one to shoot. So I got my gun ready and got the deer in my scope. I pulled the trigger and with one shot from 276 yards he went down. I had never shot anything that big before. It is very exciting and sad at the same time. So I had completed my first guided hunt. Now back to the becoming a redneck thing. Now I worked construction for seven years. I have heard cursing and nasty things that would make a sailor blush. Mark taught me a few things. My friend Casey that was hunting as well had worked in construction for about 18 years and even he was amazed at some of the things that came out of DeCock's mouth. So as Casey and Mark and I became better friends thoughout the week we started teasing each other. As much teasing as we all did I thought it might be taking it a bit to far to start correcting his grammar, although it would have been endless fun. I have noticed that who ever you hang around enough you start acting like each other a little bit. Some of my friends and I are twins separated at birth according to my wife. Mark was the exception. Mark says "crick"? I believe the word is "creek". I did tease him on that one.The sound is eeeeeeeeeee, there is no i in there I told him. I will leave his response sensored for all of you reading this.I refer to a small cut in the mountain as a draw. Mark had a cool word for it, cooli. Pronounced coolee. We tried to have him explain it to us, but alas there was no explaing until I asked if it was like a draw and he said that is exactally what it is. The whole week was a great lesson in reneckdom. I think I may fail if I have to take a test though, but if you ever catch me referring to cows as "pricks" or something even more crass you will know where I got it and please curtly correct me. The week was a ton of fun, but we were ready to get out of the place where they thought about filming "The Dukes of Hazzard". We ate our last breakfast with Larry the Cable Guy's long lost cousin and hit the road. I can't wait to see Mark agian this winter when I am up his way for work. It is kind of fun to hang around some one that you can say usetacould and he doesn't even "cock" an eye at you. Until then you can find me napping by the crick down in the cooli while taking a break from hearding them prick cows.

Family pics up the canyon

Here is a picture of my handsome family taken up Provo canyon. My sis "Camilla De Ville" took the shot. She is a genious! THANKS MILL

FENDER BENDER

This wonderful, beautiful, 41 degree morning ended up in being not so wonderful, not so beautiful and maybe even colder. Jacque and I try to go walking every morning at the University mall. I know that it sounds totally geriatric and gay but it is cold and we both have little ones that can't handle, or shouldn't have to handle the weather. Any way it was 7:20 and we had just left the house. Rayce and I in "BIG RED" and Jacque and Kenna in her STANG. I was stopped at the light on 8th north and State Street. The light had just turned green and I looked back to check on Rayce and must of taken my foot off the brake and BOOM, suddenly I am ramming a Toyota Corolla up the butt. It took me a minute to even realize what had happened. I stepped on the brake and just sat there for a minute. Cars were going around us so I suggested we pull off the road and out of the way. I got out to appologize to the guy and saw that his trunk was jacked up. I thought that it didn't do any damage to the truck until I realized that the grill gaurd was all cock-eyed. I called Mike and he left to meet me. Someone had already called the dispatch and they were on their way. I felt terrible, not only for jacking up this guy's car ( of which by the way had just been sold, the guy was getting a Dodge Charger in a couple of days), but for causing and accident. In my whole 29 years, mind you almost 30years, I have only had 2 tickets and never ever caused an accident. Tecnically I have only been in one accident and that was right before Mike and I got married. So any way I was devistated at my stupidity. The craziest thing is that this accident happened and I wasn't even being careless. You know sometimes I am on my phone and sometimes I do my makeup while I drive, both of which are super careless and a little wreckless. But no this accident happened when I thought I was being safe. It just goes to show you that looking away even for a couple of seconds could be bad. We are getting the truck fixed and the guy has already got an estimate and has already been to the chiropractor ( he had a pre-existing injury and this just jarred it). I feel terrible. The guy was really nice, Mike is going to get him a gift certificate to apologize for the inconvinience. What a morning!

It is amazing how much you love your own child

This is the most handsome Rayce. I do not know what in the world I did to get such a cute, smart, funny, did I mention smart, kid. Rayce is only 15 months and he says probably upwards of 100 words. Granted he is my child, but any way it still is amazing to me. We just got back from the pediatrician and they have you fill out these little questionares about how your child is developing and I was able to answer yes to every question. His first test and he aced it, JUST KIDDING. I know that i am his mother and I am very biased. In all seriousness he is very very bright, but for every bright bone in his body he has an equally wild, stubborn, controling, in charge kind of bone too. Maybe you other mothers can attest to it. For every great thing your child brings you, you are also given an equally great challenge. I think that kids teach us more about ourselves then we will ever teach them about themselves. Being a mother is the greatest and hardest thing in the whole world. It's great because they are so amazing and fun, and happy, and loving, and perfect, and so close to God. It's hard because we are not perfect. I wouldn't trade being a mom ever and especially being the mother of Rayce. He is the coolest kid in my book. I am not trying to make him sound better than your kid, I'm his mom and if I didn't feel that way something would be very wrong with me. For those of you out there that don't have kids and are thinking you maybe won't be able to handle it, there are definately days you will feel like you won't but in the end when that little one snuggles up on your neck and pats your back you know that it is all worth it.

Have you ever been a LOSER?

So I just found out that I am a LOSER. It is sad you see because I have always thought that I was moderately liked by those around me, but tonight I was definately proven wrong. So here is what happened. I threw a jewellery party, I know, super gay; I was coerced into it by a very persistant yet utterly nice client that I have no ill feelings towards. I just have ill feeling towards parties. Well any way, so I procrastinated the invites because I had been out of town. I decided that maybe I would get better attendance if I just called people and invited them over the phone. My experience is that it is a lot easier to turn down a piece of paper than to turn down a phone call. So I went to calling. I called 22 lovely people, mostly clients, many of whom I thought moderately to strongly liked me. I thought that the old stand-bys' (close friends who were needed soley for their body count not for their purchasing capability), and the girls at the salon would be a sure thing rounding out at atleast 11. Even if no one else showed up I would have 11 right? WRONG. After calling a bunch of people to reconfirm I tallied the head count to 7. Seven is not so bad, it's no eleven, but seven is still doable. I e-mailed my freind Jacque and informed her that I was a loser because I thought that only 7 people would show up, 7 out of 22. Not the best odds, if you know anything about ratios. She made me feel better by telling me she didn't even know 7 people to call. We deducted that she was the loser. I went and bought bagels and fruit for the "thingy", stopped and watched some horses, ran some errands, and then dropped my son off at the babysitters. In that time 3 out of the 7 texted me to tell me they weren't going to make it. Did you get that, 3 out of 7 were not comming, that left 4 if I was lucky. I felt like such a loser. I called my husband and told him my loser ranking and I also called my mom. They both laughed. Needless to say the jewellery lady bagged her presentation and her games and free prizes and just let us look at the brochure. She said she didn't mind, but I could see the hate in her eyes ( I just threw that in for effect). Can you believe that happened? I guess I just didn't believe in the jewellery enough, or maybe my clients don't think more of me than I thought. Or maybe, just maybe, I am a LOSER!

TOM ARMA RULES

So I just wanted to let everyone know that I found the coolest website. I have to admit it is a lot cooler if you have children, but still it is pretty cool. So if you are having a bad day and you need a little "up-lifting" go to this website and your "lifting" will be in progress. The website is www.tomarma.com. Go to it and click on the official website then click on save the animals and "you're there man." This guy is the JAM!

p.s. This is probably only cool for girls and maybe men that are in-touch with their feminine side. But if your non-effeminite husband likes it, I won't tell.

Ninja Deer

This morning Chris, Dad, and I were on our way up to Strawberry to go fishing. After our usual stop at McD's for some fine dining we were on our way up Daniell's Canyon. There we were minding our own business when this ninja of a deer morphed out of the concrete and attacked the truck. Deer I yelled in slow motion then heard the body slamming against the side of the truck as dad hit the brakes to try to minimalize the damage. It was useless. The Deer Qaeda operative had done the job it set out to do. There was damage from the front fender and hood all the way to the side of the bed. As we all stood there looking at the side of the truck Chris and I braced ourselves for a patented Steve Helm melt down, but there was no such thing. Dad looked at us and said "well lets go fishing". "What" I said to Chris with a glance. "No melt down". This is the man that I have seen kick and punch the front of a fridge because the power went out and the food inside went bad. Like it was the fridges fault so it needed to be taught a lesson. I thought the fuse had been lit, but it hadn't. I forgot to mention that my dad has only owned this truck for about three months and it is the first truck he has purchased since the last one in '73. We all loaded back into the truck and went fishing. As I sit here writing this post I can see the deer's face over and over as it tried to push the truck into the river. It was evil. Pure evil. Nothing but those black soleless eyes wanting to take three lives for the countless losses of its countrydeer. Well bambi I only have one thing to say to you.

Helm Rules.

My Bro.

To anyone that knows my brother you know that your life is better because you know him. He would give you the shirt off his back. He would give all the money in his wallet if he thought you needed it more than he did. He is one of the most sensative and gentle people you will meet. On the other hand he would choke the life out of anyone that threatened someone he cared about with one hand. He is a big pansy in all reality, but can snap at the drop of a hat when he needs to. Recently we found out he has a rare cancer that originated in his right hand. He had it removed and has since been going through test after test to see if it has spread anywhere else in his body. The good news is that the doctors have not found any evidence that it has spread. So to keep it from spreading they have decided to remove his right pinky finger and the outer edge of his right hand. A small price to pay to not have to go through kemo or radiation treatment. If you know my brother at all you know that he might act like this is okay, but deep inside he is scared of losing even the smallest part of his body. I think we all would be. Chris goes into surgery on 9/27/06. If you know him I ask that you pray for him to not only deal with this well, but that the cancer will not return. I love you Chris and I believe this will be the end of it.

Your brother,

Mike

The Guard Dog

Any one that knows Rosy knows that she isn't much of a guard dog. She may bark at you if you are outside the gate, but walk right in and you are now her new best friend. Despite the fact that she would hold the flashlight for some one breaking into the house she is a great dog. Out of the three dogs I have had she has something the others didn't. She is extemely sensative and loving. She will take any abuse Rayce can dish out and not even move. Yesterday Rayce stood on her while she was laying down and she didn't move. She is so great to have around we don't know what we would do with out her and she may be a push over, but you wouldn't know it by her look when she stalks you along the fence or barks to let you know she means business. She is the guardian that looks over Lez and Rayce while I am away working and she is the spoiled little boxer who will crawl under the covers in the morning if you will let her to sleep the morning away.

We love our Rose even if she is a little spoiled.

PROUD PARENTS

Here are some of the words my "little einstein" is saying:
mama (though he calls me da da), da da, pa pa, Ro Ro (Rosy), star, car, Jesus, scissors, turtle, no no, book, room, sit, shirt, bumm, baby, Nenny (my sister Jennifer), Shell Shell (our neighbor), shoe, eyes, nose, tatoo, scio (outside, he is a little dislexic), shish, ears, hi, bye bye see you, night night, Barney, danger, go, clock, what's that?, feet, goat, bunny, and rainin' to name just a few! He also can tell you where his fingers, teeth, head, hair, feet, belly, nose, eyes, tongue, ears, and bum are. He knows his animals really well and can make noises for a tiger, lion, duck, chicken, monkey, bird, kitty, dog, cow, horse, sheep, snake, and owl. It is amazing to see this little person learning at such a fast rate. Having a child is the coolest thing in the world, the hardest, but definately the COOLEST!!!

GREAT GENES

This is my handsome family. I don't know exactly how we did it, but we produced the cuttest kid in the entire world. He not only got the looks (from his papa's gene pool), but he got the brains (from my gene pool of course) too. We are one lucky family.

Notre Dame Chicago Bears

So last week we went to Detroit to see Lez's sister's family and go to a couple of football games. I am a huge Notre Dame fan and Chris is a huge Chicago Bears fan. Lez has left the dark side and is no longer a BYWHO fan. We left Saturday morning later than I wanted to and we got to Notre Dame at about 1:00 p.m. and the game didn't start until 3:30 so we had some time to look around. We started our journey from where we parked with no snacks or water and Chris and I started fading quickly so we stopped at a student food stand and had bratwurst and hotdogs. Lez makes fun of us for complaining about being hungry, but it's easy for her, she eats like a bird. So after fueling up we went over to see the grotto. On our way we saw the team leaving mass and walking over to the stadium. After they were we gone we went to see the grotto then we were off to the bookstore to spend a small fortune. After spending enough money to have their new science building named after us we were off to the staduim. As we made our way to our seats I could feel the excitement growing. As we came out of the portal and could see the field which is one of the beautiful sites these eyes have ever seen you could feel the crowd as they awaited their fighting irish. Well much to their chagrin they were in for quite the pathetic game. The irish threw an interception that was returned for a touchdown on the second play of the game and that set the tone for the whole game. Needless to say they got worked. So we started our journey back to the car on the othere side of the country with a little less enthusiasm then we had arrived with. Chris and I kept joking about beating a few Michigan fans with in an inch of their lives if we heard one more person spout of with "Go Blue". Lez on the other hand was more concerned with setting the pace of our walk to the tune of a death march so we could return home to make sure Rayce was okay. Chris and I could barely keep up. We made it back to Lez's sister's house and if you can image all was well and Rayce was in bed sound asleep. The next day Chris and I departed for the windy city. That's right Chi-Town. Home of the 1985 superbowl champs. DA'BEARS. Once again since we aren't the elite we had to park three states away and make a pioneer sized trek to the staduim, but it was all worth it when we got there and had polish sausage for lunch. The Bears came out ready and gave the Lions a beating like you would give a red-headed step child. After the game we took our time getting back to Iowa to pick up the car and made our way home. All in all it was a great trip and we can't wait to go back. Hopefully the Irish will give us a win next time.

GO IRISH.