Sweet payoff day for both of us

Ouch, it hurts.

I don't want to be a Sunbeam today.

Should I wear the white shirt or the white shirt today?

Well as you can see by my countdown I have 1 more day left with Ryan before he leaves for his mission. Today I had the honor of doing one last act of love for him. Each shirt has a bucket of tears on it and thousands of kisses tucked inside his pockets. How excited I am for him, how amazing he will be. Yesterday was a difficult day - one of tears and fears - Del and I had to keep busy - and well - we ended up at Crown Burger (eeww) crying over Onion Rings. (Future post will include the definition of empty nest). As I look at my son I just know that he is ready for all of this. There is no apprehension in is countenance at all and because of that he will put himself to work right away. As I ironed his shirts today - a task he has done for himself for years but allowed me to have a moment - I can't wait for the places they will go. How he will stand out in a crowd, how he will hold others hearts in his over the next two years, and how amazing his smile will be as he serves the Lord in them. Just when you thought this was going to be a sappy emotional post I am now going to ruin it. (Humor is a survival tactic right now....) SO - he was required to have 12 shirts, 6 long sleeve and 6 short sleeve. 12 beautiful crisp white shirts. With his wardrobe preplanned for him for the next 2 years I have a great suggestion. I encouraged him to name his shirts after the 12 apostles! So on Tuesdays, he'll be wearing Hales, and on Wednesday he could choose between Oaks and Ballard, on really tough days he could be Packard. (Oh, my, you should have seen the look on his face when I suggested this! (Mandy and Lee Lee will laugh)) (Wait -he'll only be able to wear 11 shirts until we get a new apostle and then he can button it up!) Ok - stand back and let the lightening bolts hit! Desperately reaching for something today to just survive today - wish this blog could be seen without the tears in my eyes today. Thursday is even worse, I lose my son, daughter in law, and grandson to Washington for heaven knows how long - please pass the Kleenexes - life's to too big for me today.

Sleep in heavenly peace.....

Riding the Monkey

So I love that my children have listened to council about keeping Christmas simple this year. We have been blessed with so many miracles this year and each one has been more fulfilling than we ever dreamed of. We decided to draw names this year and keep it to a $20.00 limit - that might seem small to some, but to us it's.... just right. There are many people in need this year and so we decided to tuck some Secret Santa's aside for some friends, and also to contribute to the Road Home in downtown Salt Lake City. When you see those without, it's easy to go without - so it's a year of a fun gift and tons of food and hours of love and laughter. I put out an email to my children because right after we draw names - I get the calls - Mom? What should I get so and so? The email simply stated each of our 5 wishes for a gift. I started the process and I titled the email, "Let's ride this Monkey". To which I received the following responses - each with a new rendition of "Riding the Monkey". Here are some fun ideas if you ever have to draw names with members of the psycho ward.

Pretty much anything, Gift card to Olive Garden - (or any place that serves food and does the dishes for you), Any nice solid colored shirt (probably one that will hide the stains from Olive Garden), Choose from any of the following DVD's: Grumpy Old Men #1, Transformers, The Simpson's Mogvie, James Bond movies, Mission Impossible 2 or gift card from Wallymart to get any of these, Linkin Park's Road to Revolution CD, DSW gift certificate; because in case you didn't know I'm a sho-a-holic, Rod Works gift certificate because my house is going to look empty after I put my Christmas stuff away, Buckle GC because I'm a shop-a-holic also, A baby, Blogging lessons, scarfas that have the old-school-looks-like-yer-grandma-knitted-them kind, World Peace, A pony, Get Smart DVD, A fitted Jazz Hat with no flaps in the back, Season of House or the first'second season of Arrested Development, New headphones - mine suck rocks, Nooodles and company GC- that place is the fritz, Mamma Mia, Something about Catholic Masses (we couldn't find this in any store), Wall-E widescreen, Oceans 11,12 or 13 (they must already have 1 through 10), GC to Ross, Children's books to build my library, McDonalds CG for coke only, Scrapbooking stuff, Barnes and Noble - not the books just the smell of the store in a bottle, Someone stole my ice scraper that would be nice one with an extension cord and a heating device built right in, Another request for World Peace, Black socks - everytime one of our kids jump ship my socks disappear, Casual sweats because someone doesn't like my current ones, GC to Harley Davidson, GC to Chevron diesel prices suck, GC to Olive Garden, Something to eat with my wife, something to dress my wife in, somewhere to take my wife (movies), a way to have fun with my wife, or some bullets.


Well there it is.... Eat, Drink, Be Merry, and shoot guns for World Peace, and a Gift Certificate in a Pear Tree. What's on your list? I know you've all been nice! Merry Christmas!!

PS - I love you kids - you are the light at the top of every tree for me! (not necessarily angels - but close!)

PPS - Remember that the animals talk at midnight!

Gotta go wrap my $20.00 purchase..... now where did I put that Monkey....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BETHANY!

Ok - so now we know that people do in March not only in our famiy, but our extended family as well! I just wanted to send Birthday greetings to my daughter in law Bethany. Her birthday was yesterday but this way we celebrate for 48 hours instead of 24. She is the cute wife of my son Matt and mother to my grandson Andy. What a bonus round we got when Matt married his sweetheart. She keeps us safe from really bad things - but then again we have slightly corrupted her in a few ways. Bethany has just finished her Masters Degree - and is on her way to an amazing career. Her greatest love besides Matt is her son Andrew. We knew that she would be a wonderful mom - but wow - she's far beyond that. Andy is happy, healthy, funny and smart. He has Bethany's ears, heart, and smarts - and well the rest.... is Matt. Bethany is always centered on family and she was taught well to love by her parents. She excells in giving love to others and finding the good in all things. I am amazed at her ability to keep her health in check and never make it something to complain about. I have watched her prick her finger and I cringe - and yet she does it many times a day - with ease. I was told once that she would be able to be a mother because she had done all the things necessary to make that happen - even though her health would say differently. I am grateful that she would put herself on the line to bring such an amazing child into the world. Today, she's headed off to Vegas with her family to see the Beatles show and have a little celebration there. But last night - yum - we had sugar free, banana creme pie - with many, many candles. Have a wonderful time in Vegas - pull some slots before you visit the temple! We all love you and admire all that you have accomplished in your life. Here's to many more years of joy. Love, Mom

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANDY!

OMGosh! Mandy is now legal! We all believe she's more 'lethal' than 'legal'! Found this picture of your mom and dad and your first birthday cake - we haven't changed much. It was fun to have Mandy - she was the 'what ever we have is perfect' baby - we already had a boy and a girl and we were working on spare children at that point. (You know dang well you were planned you dork!) Del only wanted 2 kids - I wanted 4, so we compromised and we first had the two and then we had the four. Mandy was my 'natural birth' child - and the reason I pee when I sneeze now. I barely made it to the elevator, let alone to the delivery room - I didn't know I could scream obsenities that loud! They did'nt have time to give me any drugs, but they said I could have them later on when she was a teenager - hum, I should have called them back! I remember this beautiful, perfect baby being put into my arms (they told me I could stop screaming then). She was absolutely the most petite little angel I've ever seen. She was wide awake when Del held her and she just looked at him with her big blue eyes and her fuzzy blond hair and Del said, "Who's kid is this?" (coming from my black haired, brown eyed husband) She has her Grandma Molly's nose and her mom's heart from the start. Mandy is my artistic child - creativity and ability to perform and draw and sing and ...... well ok - Linda Fenton kicked you out of ballet but 4 out of five isn't bad. Our family loves teasing her the very most because she is the funniest person you'll ever meet. We survive on Mandy's funny lines, and adventures, and outlook on life. She excells in spreading joy and service. I'll call and try to talk to her and she'll be off helping someone in her ward, no big deal, just helping out. But it's always a big deal to those she serves. Her talents have taken her to performing as a featured Soloist for the Utah Symphony - it was an amazing moment as a parent to see her walk out there and wow them. I laughed myself silly because she said that the 'conductor' had a prosethic butt - or at least she'd been told he had..... and we all spent most of her performance trying to look at it! It is a known fact that her husband Ryan is a patient, kind, and loving sweetheart - he would have to be. We actually warned him about her before he married her that his sides would always ache from laughing. He still married her - and we're glad they are together. Today Mandy - know that you are always in my heart - I carry your heart - I carry it in mine - as the quote goes. Celebrate the fact that you are loved, and cherished by many, many people. I can't wait to meet your kids - I know they are in heaven right now fighting to see who gets to come first. Let's hope it's a little tiny blue eyed blond, runner (with a saxophone in her hand). Happy Birthday Sweetheart. (Don't forget that the Pole Dancing course at BYU is filling up fast so hurry and get registered!) Love, your freaking fan, MOM /Bobby)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN!

Ryan tried really hard to be born early. I'm not sure if it was because I was still playing volleyball at 8 months pregnant or not but he was excited to come. The doctors told me he was a girl most of my pregnancy - you know - back in the time when ultrasounds were NOT. (Remember I crossed the plains with the pioneers and current bushes were not available for electronic gadgets). He decided to stay all warm an cozy inside of me for another 2 weeks making it another short term pregnancy for me (after walking the floor with Marti Tueller and Kathy Hagen and their babies due at the same time) (Later we would have Ryan, Mary, and Darron all within a month). When Ryan came into the world and the doctors looked at me from behind those draped bent knees and said, "Well for heavens sake, it's a boy!" I literally jumped up onto the bed and danced the dance of the "Na Na Na Na Na Na" song! (Not a pretty sight) I wanted a boy so bad - with Matt, Ashley and Mandy at home - a boy fulfilled my dreams. Ryan was born a very sweet spirit - his temperament was quiet and calm. He developed many personal traits over the years that I have never seen equal to in another human being and I know that he is a gift to this world. I look at him now - towering at 6'2" and I know that he is a giant of a man inside as well as outside. Whatever has been brutally thrown his way he has taken with dignity and understanding and reset his goals for higher ground. (and you freakin' know who you are) (ok - I feel better now) (and the whole family applauds) (loudly). So this year will be the last we can break birthday cake together - it will be a pineapple upside down cake with plenty of cherries at the bottom. Today I will look at you longer and make a moment to keep in my memory that will need to suffice over the next two years. But you know Ryan, that you can only deepen love over time, and so after 19 years of loving you as my son - I know that you will have an ample supply to take with you to Mexico. 19 is a very young age to be going out into the world - but you have all the goods to succeed. Happy Birthday son - and I know I echo that from all of our family, extended family, and your friends on this day. Love, Mommason

49 reasons I love my family.....(believe me there's more than this but let's start here)

So 49 candles this year - was spent in Disneyland (pictures to come). Good times! My kids presented me with a cake in our Hotel room they had brought all the way from home (thank you Bethany!) and this AMAZING list of things that made me cry 1,000 times 49 tears. Long list - worth sharing - MANY inside joke here - but never the less - here's why life is sweet for me as the payoffs begin after years of parenting and loving my children and now their spouses.

1. Oh hey, Bob - Ashley 2. Calling me Mae Mae - Matt 3. You smell like pee - Ashley 4. You have a beautiful smile - Matt 5. You look hot on a bike - Ashley 6. The way you give me big hugs - Matt 7. You always dress like a hot MILF - Mike 8. I love how you are always laughing - Matt 9. You have always stood up for me. Ryan H. 10. You are glad you are on Verizon - Ryan M. 11. Leaving funny messages on my phone - Matt 12. The way you make the tastiest dinners - Matt 13. You sure dress Mandy in hot clothes - Ryan M. 14. You are an awesome workout partner - Ashley 15. When you surprised me with a new shirt - Matt 16. You are an even better shopping partner - Ashley 17. The way you got me all ready for scout camps. 18. You are incredibly talented at driving with your knee - Ashley 19. You love, without restraint, everyone in your family circle - Mike 20. You created an Eden for our reception in your backyard - Ryan M 21. Your "Mandy, just SHUT UP and let me read it!" comment - Mandy 22. Calming my hysterical crying before, during, and after music juries/auditions competitions and reminding me to count my blessings - Mandy 23. You are one of the few people who can still make me blush - Ryan M 24. Most of my ideas are too dirty to name, so I'll only tell you two - Mike 25. You are like a sneaky magical grocery fairy! Very thoughtful - Ryan M. 26. I'm so glad you started the Second Sunday Family Dinner tradition - Bethany 27. You always have multiple compliments to give us when we see you - Bethany 28. You've been a constant friend even when others in my life have not - Ryan H. 29. thank you for being my shoulder to cry on when my husband is gone - Ashley 30. MORE than SEVERAL random acts of kindness a day, I swear you do - Mandy 31. Laughing or sneezing (in three's - always in three's) so hard that you pee your pants and then that makes you laugh even more - so then - you get the cycle - Mandy 32. Dead people at the end of your bed at night. Yeah! Family history work! - Mandy 33. You're always patient with me even when I am hard to get along with - Ryan H. 34. I value all the counsel you've given me during hard times over the years - Ryan H. 35. Teaching Andrew Pat-a-Cake and introducing him to Marshmallow Mateys - Bethany 36. Your willingness to drop everything, anywhere at anytime, 100%, to be there for us - Mandy 37. It was so fun to see you when you worked at Willow Canyon while I was going there - Ryan H. 38. Teaching me how to drive with a BIG Mac in one hand and a large drink in the other hand - Matt 39. You have always supported my efforts to marry Mandy, even before I knew I wanted to - Ryan M. 40. I wanted to do calendar pages for my missionaries just like you did for Matt every month - Bethany 41. The answering machine message after you got the April Fool's Day joke: "Hi this is Nicole. If Bethany's not dead yet, I'm gonna kill her!" My parents saved that message until the answering machine died - Bethany 42. You have shown me so much love over the years, and I wouldn't be who I am today with you you - Ryan H. 43. I am so impressed how you always have food for the family on the stove each night, even if you need to be somewhere else. That was a special blessing over the summer when I had the crazy internship days - Bethany 44. Pointing out the invisible things in my teeth to me from the congregation before I give a talk at church - Mandy 45. Thank you for teaching me from the time I was young not to fight with others and not to provoke others - Ryan H 46. When you called me in high school before my first date with Matt to warn me that he overdid the cologne - Bethany 47. When you address letters or cards to Mori (the Stimson's Dog) if she could talk, I'm sure she'd express her appreciation herself - Bethany 48. Sending Drew home in 'punk' outfits every so often and surprising us with a new Tigger outfit and photo shoot - Bethany 49. You are really supportive. You come to all my home races even when I had only know Mandy for a week or so - Ryan M.

So I ask myself - who is this person they're talking about? Was I in the right Hotel room? I love you all so very much. Thank you for all the effort in getting this put together for me. I thought I would share your kindness with the world. 50 adventures before 50 begin... ....right.... now....

The Master of Masters

GOOD LUCK
TO BETHANY TODAY
AS SHE DEFENDS HER
MASTERS THESIS
AT BYU
(Please don't studder, slur, or talk with a lisp)
We're all proud of you!!

Birthday Suit

Wearing my birthday suit tomorrow.
Wish you could see me! (:

Welcome December!

My gift to all of you - my FAVORITE explanation of the
REASON for the SEASON!!

30 of 30: and there you go!

So I started this challenge after hearing about it from my friend Erin (Cape Woman Extraordinary!) I did this challenge because I wanted to be committed to something that would make a difference. I know that the difference came to me - I love writing - and I love funny stories - and I love to express my anger sometimes - and I love my family and all that they present to me in this life. What I got out of it? Wonderful people writing wonderful things back to me. I heard from old friends (yea! there you are Sherlyn, and (two more seconds - love Mr. Mason!) Erin, and Ginger, and Jen and Jenn, and real old friend Ulaine!!! (love her tons!) ), and from new friends (fun crew from the Halloween songs), and met people that trusted me with their blogs and getting to know them and finding out that I have special friends now (Love that Darci) (I'll always take 'just a peek' thanks!) and I loved that my family supported me by reading each day! The reward returned to me was greater that the reward I thought I could give out - so I thank you for that. I loved to tease my kids and they loved hearing each other being teased about and I love that they laughed because I want them to have happiness (and not fear that they are from the same genetic make up) So the 30 days are over and I'm going to take a sabbatical (or sub-bath-ical) leave for a few days - perhaps actually get something done now that I'm not freaking out trying to get my blog in before midnight. I keep hoping that there is a free give away for those that did it for 30 days - and then I realized that the prize was the joy of seeing that anyone even cared. The world can be a lonely place - you all made it a bit more bearable - thank you for that gift. I hope you'll always check in now and then and that you have had some fun with my mind's thoughts put to the web. I've always loved journaling, but no one ever responds to journals until you're dead - so thanks for your fun comments. I always ended my comments with "and there you go!" because I wanted to leave the door open for you to think about what I had written about. To create a movement of thoughts that made you say, "Hmmmmm never thought about that!" Today I end 30 of 30 and I was wondering how to celebrate such an important achievement - so - what the heck - I'm headed to Disneyland! BTW - my birthday is December 3rd and I wanted to let you know that you can send gift cards to me as long as you know that the company will still be in business when I return in a week ok? My next challenge? 50 things to do before I turn 50 a year from now - that's what you have to look forward to....maybe .....

and there you go!

29 of 30: Move over Vampires, Enter Aussies

Ok - so if you are just not doing anything for 3 hours - you must see this movie 'Australia' . It's amazing and it should win every single award. I had several scenes that I had to look through my fingers because I didn't want to see what might happen. So beautifully done - and Hugh Jackman? Holy Yum. Nicole Kidman is so stunning (I love anything she's in) - and I feel instantly in love with the little boy (yikes those eyelashes!). Based on a true story - it was a real eye 0pener for me and I appreciated the political realism in this movie, a rare find. (Do you think that the old drunk Aussie is Clancy from 'The Man from Snowy River?) TREAT yourself to this movie - what an amazing afternoon at the movies. (Not too bad - Ashley only had to kick 2 old ladies and an old man out of our seats, they thought we were rude to make them move - 2 words - Reserved Seating) Popcorn, Junior Mints and a Coke ... and there you go!

28 of 30: Yes honey - those will work nicely

Ok - so it's been a couple of years since my (handsome, sweet, intelligent) husband has put the Christmas lights up for me. So I laid the guilt trip on him and said that this would be Ryan's last Christmas home for 2 years and he wanted to have the Christmas lights up this year. He was really nice about it and proceeded to put up the lights. Upon arrival home in the dark I see the 1 inch little teeny tiny itsy bitsy lights strung up around the house and standing next to them proudly flipping the switch to ON to show me his great job was my (handsome, sweet, intelligent) husband! Next to him - was the $100.00 box of beautiful icicle lights I've waited several years to see put up again - still in the box. Gotta love him - won't tell him - love my lights! Please feel free to drive by and enjoy them - if you can see them.....and there you go!

27 of 30: Pretty Thankful Today

Hope it all jelled together today for your families.
Off to work - again - but thankful for work.
Chew it to the gristle I say.... and there you go!

26 of 30: Eat until you drop I say...

Ok - so you gathered from yesterday's 30 in 30 blog that I was a bit touchy. It continues. Today I went to my workout class (my 4th one this week with a spin class on the docket for tomorrow morning after my graveyard shift!). My teacher has decided to go vegetarian veganishism of sorts. She looks amazing, I'll give her that, but could you please try to pull all of the guilt she shoved down my throat out of my throat so I can enjoy Thanksgiving dinner? We are told about a dozen times in the week before Thanksgiving that the average person eats about 3000 calories in just dinner on the day of the feasting - AND - that we should all not miss any of our workouts during the holidays. OK Sister, first of all I have now and always will consider myself 'under average' (btw - the average WOMAN will eat 1500 calories), AND why don't you try telling the person that is NOT in the class to not miss a class! EH? (I personally think she needs to be tied down and we can force a Big Mac down HER throat!) As I looked around the room I see people there that never miss any classes and they are absolutely going to eat something because they'll need something to throw up later on! So my Thanksgiving wish for all of you is, "May your workout pants be baggy - your turkey legs large - your pie be creamy and loaded with dairy products - your second helping of mashed potatoes with greasy gravy be plentiful - may there be never ending servings of pie as you watch the football games, fall asleep from the turkey, and drool as we take your picture - and your workouts be short and taught by a large carnivorous mute. Eat, drink and be merry - for the day after that you'll probably die on Black Friday as you are smashed into some door frame..... wait - that was yesterday's blog..... and there you go!

25 of 30: Black Friday - please just shoot me!

I need to say one thing about BLACK FRIDAY - it is a pain in the ads for me. I've worked retail going on 8 years now and I have come to despise the day after Thanksgiving. I know, I know, I know you are all excited about getting in on the big sale and shopping until you drop, but might I comment on my week to prepare for you to run through those doors.... with my top 10 reasons why I leave 1/2 hour before those doors open.

10. Preparing 6 ads all layering dates and times and pull dates, then getting the next 6 ads for the following week piled on that pile. Killing several forests with the paperwork we have to go through to make sure the auditors don't get angry and the customers can actually READ that price point.

9. Stocking, and restocking - no I'm not talking about the cute stockings you hang on your mantle, I'm talking about restocking the Turkey platters that some woman loaded up 2 shopping carts and bought out the store and left a trail of angry Turkey platterless women.

8. Pathetic fuzzy slippers.

7. 4 racks of U of U shirts. You have no idea...

6. Overnights - working a required 40 hours before Black Friday even occurs - Going in tomorrow morning for a shift - going in for a graveyard shift Thanksgiving Eve until 4 am, (because freaking people need to shop on Thanksgiving day? Hey - stay home, cook the turkey and watch the parade & football games and let me do the same!!) (Sorry - tired and angry) leaving my family and working Thanksgiving night to set the ads that will be pulled in 6 hours after the doors opened but took 2 days to prep and hide because they are such a secret.

5. All of the day time workers getting the pizza they bring in after the night shift did all of the work.

4. Under trained cashiers - yikes, combined with the Christmas music track that plays over and over and over again - and again - and again.... it's enough to make you want to drink eggnog excessively.

3. Ad matches - why don't you just wait in line at THEIR store! (:

2. Nobody putting toys in the Salvation Army toys for tots box - (please don't forget to add one!) (Most of your kids already have plenty!!!)

.....and....

1. The doors opening and people turning into maniacs and hurting people and hitting people and running them over and smashing through the doors with small children and dogs and they are yelling and screaming and fighting over the last DVD player that little Johnny just has to have and YUCK - the spirit goes right out the door.

Please be careful this Friday - remember the spirit of the season isn't what you see at 5:00 AM it's found in the little old couple that you know they hardly have a dime to their name shopping from a list that is too long for sweet little children that have less than they do. I know that I just have to muster up enough gusto to make it through the next 48 hours until I can call this week OVER! (I never ever ever shop Black Friday - I'll leave and wave goodbye to those crazy people standing in line and I'm going to a workout after working all night - sleeping a bit - going to a movie - and asking forgiveness from my husband that has had to put up with me through all of this - oh and I'm going to have a LARGE coke from McDonalds right after my work out)..... and there you go!

24 of 30: The need for speed

While some people were knocking each other around a silly football field - some other athletes were running their hearts out at the NCAA Cross Country Nationals. BYU came in 9th in the nation with Kyle Perry taking top honors for the team. Just so happens that another person scoring his personal best and adding points to the team was my son in law Ryan. Their team motto this year was "Juntos" which means together - and they are an amazing group of incredible athletes. It was fun for Mandy because the wives were able to travel with the team to cheer their husbands on at nationals. She thoroughly enjoyed the coaches wife and found her to be so much fun. It was wonderful for Mandy to see her husband put to the test that which he trains relentlessly for every single day. The very first time I met Ryan he was in Mandy's kitchen at Hellitage Hall - he was all dressed up in his BYU running gear and it must have been 20 below - it didn't stop him from running and running and running. You couldn't miss his big blue eyes peeking out from underneath his hat. Not only was it the first time I had met Ryan - it was also the day that I looked over at Del and said - I think Mandy is going to marry this guy! Ryan's smile is as big as his heart - he loves Mandy with all his might (and some day's I'm certain it takes a lot of that) and I love to watch him look at her. Sometimes it's because he's in shock because she's such a nut - but mostly it's because he has such a sweet love for her. I told him before he even ran that we were already proud of him in every way - and now we have even more reason to cheer louder. Congratulations Ryan - a job well done deserves a huge turkey dinner - gotta fatten you up now.... By the way - I didn't hear that the UTES made nationals did any of you? ....and there you go!

23 of 30: Feeling Green? I've got just the remedy for you....

There is only one Elaine in my life - she's my BCFF (best corrupted friend forever) and my lifeline for sanity. Today she was so concerned about me that she sent some home remedies to help me along my way. Perhaps some of these will work for you?

1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop. (This one will be very helpful for the Holidays if my mom in law visits...)

2. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. (Go Aston Krutcher!)

3. For high blood pressure sufferers; simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. (yea! no more pills for me!)

4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. (what if the mouse beats me to it?)

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough. (diarrhea is hereditary - it runs in your genes)

6. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. (Just think what you could do with the rest of the garage!)

7. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. (except me - you'll know right away I'm not right in the head)

8. If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem. (shocking)

Remember: Some people are like slinkies; not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs. (wanna visit?)

Words of wisdom from from my weally witty fwiend, followed by the politically allowed 1 minute or less response from me ....and there you go!

22 of 30: Saturday is a special day it's the day we ...... freaking try to fit everysinglethingwecantdoduringtheweek day.

Random thoughts from a scattered Saturday:

#1 Mandy and Ryan M are in Indiana tonight - we sang her the Gary, Indiana song on the phone. My son in law Ryan is an amazing runner and is going to be running his heart representing BYU at Nationals on Monday. (Need some serious finger crossing on Monday guys). They were able to take their wives to Nationals this time and so Mandy went. Apparently there was a particular game going on today that the team wanted to watch - the only place they could watch it at was a bar - so, um, the problem was not that they were all BYU students going to a bar - nope - the problem was - Mandy is only 20 years old and they wouldn't let her in!

#2 Ashley called and said another rabbit died. Me - being grand baby starved said OH MY GOSH ARE YOU PREGNANT?? To which she answered, "Um mom, I hit and killed a rabbit on the way home from work this morning, cut it's head right off......"

#3 Please keep your kneecaps connected at all times as you exit a car, you might just leave it hanging on the door.... ouch Lee Lee

#4 Make sure that the sensor on automatic doors actually are working before you walk through them.

#5 Have the store remove the theft marker from the clothing that they just gift wrapped for you BEFORE they gift wrap it and you go to walk out....

#6 Load an extra gun to to take to Quantum of Solace to use on your husband who you sent in to at least get to watch the chase scene as you go and buy the nachos and cokes and you return to have missed the first 10 minutes of the show because the nacho maker was a idiot. Might I suggest smuggling in chips and salsa from Chiles? Men, huh, they're always late... (:

#7 Just in passing - was there some kind of game today?? .....and there you go...

21 of 30: THE EVENT has occured

... and it was dang good....
and because I PROMISED Mandy that I
would not COMMENT
until she's seen it - I will keep my promise
about the Twilight movie.
Thank you to the MATURE audience that
did not SCREAM
out during the show.
Thank you to Ashley,
who at 5'11" looked
at the 'stupid' girls that were sitting in our
front row reserved seats
and basically gave them
the look of death as she said
GET THE HECK OUT OUT OF OUR SEATS!
Being worth the wait and all, can you say 'sequel'?
... and there you go.

20 of 30: Twilight is creeping in at midnight...

So are you just about as sick of this logo as possible? Nope - me neither - and so at midnight tonight the screaming girls will start their shrilling and their boyfriends will go - eeewwww - and their parents will wonder why they are not at school tomorrow because they watched the midnight show and . . . . wait a minute - this reminds me of my FAVORITE movie - The Rocky Horror Picture Show - toast anyone? Anyone watch it at the Blue Mouse in downtown Salt Lake City? (Were did I put my squirtgun...) Rock on! Back to Twilight - yep, going tomorrow - not sure if I want the magical waiting period to end - WHAT AM I SAYING? I hope that it just kicks butt on any movie that's been out ever - that's what I hope for Stephanie Meyer - Small Town Girl Takes a BITE out of Harry Potter's World - new headline for the paper eh? Anyway - for those that are going - have a riot! (But PLEEAAAZZZZEEE keep the silly screaming down to a minimum!) What will be look forward to, widgit, and countdown now???? "Let's do the Time Warp AGAIN" .... and there you go.

19 of 30: Bubbas Birthday

You would never guess we are brother and sister right? Well - this is my brother Eric and he is my mothers favorite child. The firstborn and OLDEST always are don't you think? It's Eric's 52nd Birthday - and for his birthday - I am allowing him to swear only 52 times today. He is my very best friend - and I love and adore him with all my heart. He has carried me over the hot coals of life and never left my side. He is the father of my amazing and beautiful nieces and my ever so handsome nephew. His wife and I are the same (youthful) age and when Eric married Terri - I got to have the sister I never had. He is good son-in-law, brother-in-law and an amazing Uncle to my children. (To embarrass them is the goal at every family dinner!) (Ok - Moby Dick!) There are only the two of us - Mom and Dad had a difficult 8 years of not being able to have children - and then they had Eric and thought maybe they could try for one more - and after 3 more years of trying they had lucky me. To know Eric is to know compassion, and kindness, and . . . . ok, he cusses like there is to tomorrow - but that's what I love about him! He is always the first one there to help anyone. He inherited my Grandpa Hill's genes in making magic from any piece of wood there is. He is working on his Masters degree from USU and he's over the Carpentry Department and teaches classes at BATC in Logan. You will NEVER see him without his tape measure on his belt - it's scary. His Secret Santa deliveries are tear jerking as he always searches out those in desperate need of some tenderness - and he also never misses a chance to take gifts to Primary Children's Hospital. He has a deep, deep voice and he calls the softball games in our hometown - you can hear him for miles around. He is also the town sexton! (He makes sure everyone is comfortable at the end of the day - and their headstones are straight.) He takes pride in his family, and in his grandson Charlie. He is always at my mom's back door to help her. He plants a mean garden, he finally got his motorcycle, and he's going to kill Katies boyfriend - so if I were you (whatever your name is) RUN! Well, by beloved brother - Happy Birthday - I love yer guts off.....and there you go.

18 of 30: Just over the fence

Today I kinda had the blues. I watch the number diminish for the days I have left with my handsome son before I turn him over to serve the Lord, work has been consuming my time, Del is on a long, long business trip in a far away land, and I found the walls of my house closing in. I took a walk and tried to breath in this beautiful November day and that kinda helped. Upon arriving at home I started to visit with my sweet neighbor Sandy over the fence. We've lived next to each other for almost 20 years now - and my love for her never dims. We've raised kids together, laughed and cried together, shared many a fence talk, and it just so happened that she was kinda blue too today. We talked and soothed each others hearts and the day just smoothed over. Here's to all of the neighbors that make our days better. We find safety in their nurturing love, they know of our human sides, we trust them with our sweet babies, we pick each other up on blue Tuesdays, and we do not doubt that they are heaven sent. We visited for about a 45 minutes or so - and then I gasped because I had left spaghetti boiling on the stove.....and there you go.

17 of 30: Got Storage?

What the heck! My basement is a storage unit! I thought I would be able to use my basement other than storage for my children's memories but nnnnnoooooo! I've been down there for 3 days now and all I do is move it from one side of the room to the other. Matt was looking for something he needed and he said he thought it was in the basement - I thought - well, good luck with that one! I thought that when they moved away to their own places they TOOK those things with them - but nnnnooooooo! Just about then I am reminded that my mom keeps asking when I'm going to come and get my stuff from her basement..... and there you go.

16 of 30: Stick it on your bumper

Ok, so one of my most favorite things to do when I drive - other than putting on mascara, texting, talking on the phone, eating, singing to the radio and having a full on conversation with whomever is in the car is..... reading bumper stickers. There are some pretty amazingly stupid ones out there! There are the political ones that you wish you could peel off immediately after voting. Some tell of how smart your children are - and like I care which honor roll they are on. Some show pictures of families (large ones) - and next to that should be an RX for some pills they've had around for many years. Many show places they've been - and remind me of why I have no desire to go there. There's those peeing ones that disgust me in every way, mostly because there seems to be a controversy on which company is peeing on which company - make up your minds!! Funny mother in law jokes - gotta love those - actually most of them are true... Some just show pictures of things - Hawaiian turtles, peace signs, rock bands, religious symbols. I for one have an 'Ulcer' biker silhouette on my window from the 100 mile bike ride we do in August - and it works right up to the point that I use my fathers 'Handicapped' sign to park when we need the 'Handicapped' delivered. Del never has to put a bumper sticker on his car that reads, "My other car is a Viper" because he's usually driving his Viper. He should have one that reads "I attract idiots that think they can race me" or his favorite, "Ya cut me off - you suck" There are bumper stickers that make your day with a happy thought - those make you grin even in rush hour traffic. Recently after driving hither and yon for funerals ect.... (major pass time lately) I would like to post my favorite bumper sticker of the week (no doubt it will change soon but it's a good runner up for bumper sticker of the month).Oh - please feel free to post YOUR favorite one - you never know - it might be on the back of MY car soon! ......and there you go.

15 of 30: Halfway Blue.... er Through...

Loved that when I walked into Roberts Craft today that there were 2 Christmas trees trimmed to the max. One was a red U of U tree - small - set in the draft of the opening door - noticed it looked cold. But standing regal and beautiful and on the 'straight and narrow path' in front of me was a gorgeous BYU Blue tree! With the pending game just a week away, the gloves are off - now of course I mean the winter gloves because it's kind of warmer today - and besides - what do I care - I'm a Utah State Aggie - well, until they kicked me out years ago because I spent more time skiing on the mountain that attending class. Ashley said, "Look - it says that Santa is a Ute because he's dressed in red?" Then she added, "But everyone knows his underwear is blue!" I still love my Ute fanz though - one year I even stole Elaine's new red flag and called to tell her that it looked like hers was missing and that I had just picked up a new one just that morning if she wanted to replace it! Joosten Utes - love you guys too- but man there's just TOO much RED on that blog!! (: Let the games begin.... and there you go.

14 of 30: The Checklist

Up at 3:15 for work - return home after work to:

Make sure Del is packed for business trip
Rake Leaves
Mow Lawn
Till Garden
Clean all garden stuff and switch it out for the snow blower
Run to lunch with Del
Take him to airport
Give him a kiss and watch his cute butt as he walked away
Hit Gardner Village, Rod Works, Express, Buckle
Cafe Rio gift certificate for my son in law's BD
Get groceries, deposit check at bank
Run to BYU to hear Mandy perform
Cross my fingers that Ryan ran well at his meet
Visit with Bethany about my Grandson turning 9 mos tomorrow
Set up a Harley Ride with my son Matt
Talked with my mom
Tease Mike
Hassle Ashley
Work on my RS Lesson - on Hope
Drive home from BYU eating a cinnamon roll and driving with my knee
Sing like there's no tomorrow to Staind - because no one can see me singing in the dark on I-15
Apply whitening strips to teeth as I drive past the prison - no connection
Read Elaine's insanely funny e-mails
Look at groceries still on counter and say, oh well.
Check on my fellow bloggers - (way to keep up everyone!)
Wonder where Ryan's IPod is - because it's missing (anyone see it?)
Brush my teeth for the 5th time today
Blog
......and there you go.

Lucky 13 of 30: The true meaning of HAZARD lights...

Quick blog post today - I was driving down the road and watched a car swerving back and forth and slowing down and speeding up. I also noticed that their hazard lights were blinking. Thinking to myself - hummm - are they having a heart attack and need to go to the hospital? Are they trying to pick up a lost French fry on the floor? I decided to pass them to check into the window. No need to worry - just a freaking person texting on their phone as they drive. (They didn't even notice me honking and waving and trying to get their attention so I could actually flip them off!) The Lord created smart people, to create hazard lights, for stupid people.... and there you go.

Even Dozen of 30: The Masterpiece

Ok - so this is my beautiful daughter Ashley several years ago on the day she went through the Jordan River Temple - in preparation to marry her handsome soldier Mike. It was a beautiful day, needless to say. Mike was the first person to marry into our family - we warned him about Mandy - we had him sign contracts that he would not kill Mandy - and then we let him use his own restraint, because he would need to..... Soon after this beautiful picture was taken - I put it on the backdrop of our family computer. It did not matter that we had the computer in an open area and that Mandy was being monitored by an ankle wrap following her every move - she still found the tools needed to fix our computer wallpaper. Each day - something new appeared - each day - we laughed our butts off more... Bobby Shew Jr and Lee Lee are 'Seesters' and this shows just how much their love will tolerate....

Not only is Mandy a master performer - she has a strong background in art (love the flying eggs eh?) ....and there you go.

11 of 30: In your honor...

VETERAN'S DAY - WHO ARE YOU THINKING OF?

My Dad, My Son-in-Law, My Uncle the Col.
Thank you to ALL of you...

Last week my sweet Aunt D was sweetly laid to rest with my Uncle Jay in the Fort Logan National Cemetery - It is a quiet, holy place - and I was proud that they both could receive such an honor to be buried there together.