Very Jane!

Very Jane (the awesome website with amazing deals) is having a giveaway. They are giving away a kitchenaid mixer, Canon or an iPad Mini. This is going to help me get 3 entries in the contest! Check it out!!

https://veryjane.com/giveaway

Freezer Cooking

So, my schedule the next few weeks scares me and I started to think, when am I going to eat?!? And while I am only semi-traditional, I still want to eat and feed my husband! So, I started looking for freezer meals and Pinterest came through. The first recipes I made are from this site. I found it on Pinterest and decided that they sounded really easy. I will of course add Siracha to the teriyaki chicken and I don't keep cooking white wine on hand so I used red wine vinegar and will add a bit of extra stock to the pot. I am making the teriyaki chicken tomorrow, so I will make sure to let you know how they go. Also, this site says you can split the recipe and eat it twice. I planned for leftovers in my weekly menu, so I won't do that. And make sure you pay attention to what size freezer bags you buy.... I accidentally grabbed quart... I could have sworn it said Gallon!!!
Then I made quesadilla casserole. It was super easy. I didn't have corn (which I wasn't really upset about) and I used chipotle chili powder instead of regular. Then I made layered enchilada casserole. I used a fryer for my chicken and I couldn't find the right kind of cream cheese stuff so I got garlic and will add my own 'santa fe' seasonings. I hardly ever follow recipes exactly anyway :) And they usually turn out good.
This last week I made sausage biscuits for father's day. They are a great, easy breakfast. I eat three *cough cough* a morning and they lasted me until Thursday. Just a few seconds in the microwave in the morning and out the door you go. But I don't recommend eating while driving... like I do :)
I will let those who asked know how things turn out. If this works, my life will be soooo much easier. Fingers crossed!!

Creative Outlet

Thank goodness for Summer... I think?? I had been waiting until the end of the spring semester to be able to get things done. I kept telling myself that things would get better when the spring semester was over. Boy was that the biggest lie I have told myself in a long time. With summer school starting in just five days, I needed to do something for myself. So I designed and made a potting bench/serving table things for my backyard. I am not sure what to call it, but it turned out pretty close to the picture I had in my head. It is always good when that happens!
I had this old door. It was actually a door in our master bedroom that led to the back yard, but it was not insulated. So after four years of complaining about having snow in our room every winter, we finally replaced it. My husband tried to give it away, but I am so glad that my friend gave it back!!

I decided to break out all the glass to create a more open feeling with the door. Man was that a good stress reliever! 

When I came home from work today (my work day started at 6:45... not my earliest but still yucky!), my husband had followed my plans and built it for me. All the pieces were separate. If I had an old table, that would have been awesome too, but this was a scrap piece regardless!

Then it was all painted and needed to be sanded. I painted all the raw wood white and then watered down my teal to make it easier to sand and distress. I would like to be able to say how much water I actually added, but if you know me, you know I don't pay attention and usually fly by the seat of my pants. 

All sanded and ready for a purpose!!

I feel better now that I have created something!! On to the next project to finish before Tuesday... Converting an old dresser of my grandmother's into an entertainment center. I can hopefully finish before Tuesday... we shall see!!!

Loss of Unimportant Things

There are times when being strong is bad. There are times when you need to lean on others to be able to make it through. I learned this lesson the hard a few years back and I am trying not to repeat it. A friend in my program at school said to me "you worry about others and their welfare before you worry about yours". When she said this to me, I had never been so upset by something that should be perceived as a good thing. But for me, this goes beyond being stubborn and hard headed. I am not saying that I am not those things, but this is more. This is about self-definition. I have worked hard these last couple years trying to define myself as a someone who is strong, dependable and kind-hearted. I want to be someone who is a rock for others and who is a great mother who learns from her mistakes. The "problem" really hit me when I had to go to the hospital for first time for monitoring. Afterwards, I was told to go on modified bed rest. That meant giving up being a 'good' mom and not being able to keep promises. It meant not being self sufficient and becoming, what I think as, a burden. It was these feelings that made me break down in the cardiologist office yesterday when the doctor told me that I am 'fine' and will 'survive' the rest of my pregnancy. I did not think I wouldn't 'survive' and most people would be pleased with this news. For me, it was invalidating. Like I am over exaggerating what is wrong and how I am feeling. I wanted some validation for how terrible I feel. When I didn't get it, I questioned where to go from here. What do I continue to give up? Where do I make cuts? Of course I will continue the bed rest and all that comes with it, because I know how I feel. But when you are feeling as torn in a million different direction like I do, you want someone to validate your physical state.... the emotions associated with it... and the sacrifices being made. So, for me, no news is not always good news.

It Comes Full Circle

You can call it karma or just desserts or any other cliche that will make me roll my eyes (doesn't make it any less true though), but that is what is happening to me... and John. Although both of us are involved, I will take the blame for saying things that made people respond with "knock on wood" will also makes me roll my eyes.

My daughter, Emily, slept through the night early on and I remember only waking up once a night and loving it. I would tell people how she did this when the topic came up about letting a baby cry it out and just blame it on the fact that sleeping a lot was hereditary passed down from her sleep-loving parents. Apparently this 'comedic' excuse was not enough to stop things from coming back around to me.

Emily turned 2 in September... I made a comment to a friend at school that toddlers (for the most part) sleep through the night. Boy was I wrong... at least about Emily.

Last night was a prime example. John and I were woken up 5 times by her screaming from her room for something. The first time was for Popples. When I say this is the most important thing in the world to my daughter, I feel like it is an understatement. Popples had fallen off the bed and my little's world had fallen apart in the middle of the night. I was okay to help out with this problem.

Time number 2 she screamed because she had lost her juice.... it was right beside her but since she doesn't have night vision... or the ability to search for things with her arms... Any way. By this time, I was starting to get upset. It is only 12:30...

Next time she is screaming hungry!! I wanted to scream back, starve!! Is that nice and appropriate and the right way to respond to my toddler? No. Does that make it any less true? Absolutely not.

The next few time ran together... mainly because they happened so closely together! But they were for Popples. Tonight I will try the 'let her cry it out' thing I suppose. I know that she screams for us because we will come and I am pretty sure that was the point I missed when all my friends were going through this with their newborns. A lack of sleep when I don't have a newborn or a sick child (anymore woohoo!!) make my patience terribly short and the house tense. This isn't good!! So all of y'all our there who told me to knock on wood and I refused can now be happy you were right... woohoo...

2012

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.--Neil Gaiman

I read this on a friends page on Facebook and I enjoyed the feeling behind it. Instead of being negative and hating the past year or placing high hopes in something as unpredictable as 366 (2012 is a leap year) days can be, it send you forward with positive and concrete ideas. For those who have had a terrible year in 2011, I hope you have the courage and foresight to learn from these obstacles. 2010 was my year that I wanted to kick to the curb and looking back, I am so glad I experienced that pain because it helped me grow to the person I am today. I am not a perfect person, but I am enjoying my journey now instead of it being a path to trudge down. So my goal is to be the best version of myself no matter what the new year throws my way. To learn and grow and continue to improve myself. I try not to place my self-worth or determination in things I can't control, but I can control how I act around others and I challenge 2012 to help me perfect those skills. To give me practice loving others and learning different point of view. I want to learn new things and be taught new lessons. I have a desire to become a better person and I put that on 2012. The only way I can fail at that or be disappointed is if I am not the best version of myself given a situation. But then, after, shouldn't I learn from that too?

Baby Higgins #2 Update

So I had my first real appointment with my OB this morning. When she came I mentioned the huge difference between dates that I received when I had my sonogram. This concerned her and so we did *another* sonogram in her office. Apparently I was wrong... as wrong as you can be when you know good and well you did NOT have a period at the end of June... Anyway. The baby is extremely healthy and I am only 8 weeks 6 days. This means a due date of April 3rd and we will probably schedule the c-section around March 26th. YES I am already thinking about that. If you know me, you know I am relieved to know this information. My OB said she still saw a yolk sack with the baby and no arms or legs kicking around which are two things that wouldn't be present in a sonogram if I was 12 weeks. She also said that I should be glad that I am not 12 weeks because she would assume something was wrong with the baby and without the heartbeat (which I got to hear) she would think I had a miscarriage. So. Dates don't always matter. It's all up to your body and what it wants to do. Also, she said my Altenelol (heart medication) does not seem to be affecting the baby at all. She kept saying over and over how healthy the baby was. Probably because she was just as shocked as I was. So, healthy baby, not as far along as I thought/wished I was, another sonogram :) Good morning.