Cuz Ive got nothing better to do......

I just looked at my blog and realized that I haven't posted anything in a while. I have a family blog site that I post pretty much everything on and facebook, that I have neglected MY blog. This is what has happened so far:

Bryant has "recovered" and gone back to his crazy work. Its been very difficult for him to go to work full time 6 days a week and go to school full time 3 days a week and squeeze homework and physical therapy 3 times a week somewhere in there. Oh yeah, and sleep! He has one more year of school and then we can move to Utah. Well, not right away anyway. But nothing but money can hold us back then! =) He is excelling in his school work, which is not surprising to me. Straight A's is what he is getting! I am SO proud of him! I even have his report card on our fridge! lol He is still having pain every now and then from his surgery. His body is not liking the self dissolving stitches very well. So that is yucky! But other that all that, he is good.

As for me, in case you guys didn't know, the baby is a girl! =) I was COMPLETELY shocked when they said it was a girl. I thought well, maybe my high risk doc would tell me something different at my next appointment in a week. WRONG! It went from 80% chance its a girl to 95%. I had my heart set on a boy. I felt it was a boy as did Bryant. It took me about a day to get over the shock....seriously! lol I just kept thinking that I had NO CLUE what to do with a girl! Or that she would come home pregnant at 15! lol Yes, I did really think that when they said girl! lol

I have since gotten over the shock and have been SOOOO excited about her! We have had a name ready for her before she was even conceived! lol We are going to name her Lucia (Loo-see-uh) Isabella. We have recently stocked up on dresses and pink stuff. So her room is getting a little bit pinker. =)

I am still a high risk pregnancy and still not working really...except for a few babysitting jobs here and there. My boss "let me go" as Bryant likes to say when I was 11 weeks. I say fired! JERKS! Anyway....still on a half dozen meds for my genetic blood issues. Last week they found that a blood clot in the placenta shrank (thank GOD!), that I have a small fibroid that's been causing my pain (which I NEVER had before I got pregnant!) and that I might have mild pre-eclamsia (blood work already in but they've been too busy to call, they like to stress me out!). Oh, and about a month ago, I saw my regular doc for breathing problems. She said I had low blood pressure and that I am dehydrated. So now I get to drink MINIMUM of 2 and a half liters of water a day. So that's me....broken! ha ha ha!

All I can really say is that I am SO grateful that Lucia is healthy. She is growing like she is supposed to. She is gaining weight like she is supposed to and she is kicking like crazy! She is PERFECT! It makes going threw all of this COMPLETELY worth it! As long as she is healthy and growing good, I don't care so much what is happening to my body. Its all for her.

She is only about a pound in weight but I already love her SO much! I LOVE learning about her development. I LOVE knowing that she can hear my voice and that she can hear my heart beat. That she is getting to know me already. =) I am SO grateful for her kicks everyday to let me know she is alive. I am SO grateful that God has blessed us with her. That God has trusted us with this precious gift. Yes, I still have fears that something bad will happen to her like what happened to me when I was younger or that she will come home pregnant. That will probably never go away. But, I know that with Bryant and I working TOGETHER and raising her in the gospel, she will learn to make good choices.

Those previous miscarriages have taught me something.....how much MORE I appreciate little Lucia. How much MORE we are willing to do for her. How much MORE we will cherish her. How much MORE we will love her and not take anything for granted. Those miscarriages have taught us how we want to be better parents.

As for us, Bryant and I are getting sealed for time and all eternity Sep. 18th in the Manhattan, New York temple. We have worked SO hard for this moment! I cant wait to be sealed to him and Lucia and all of our future children. I wonder if Lucia will know what we are doing. I just cant wait! I keep joking with Bryant about him wanting to be "stuck" with me for all eternity! lol

So that is us. Crazy, but who would have thought otherwise?! lol

WOW! its been a year!

I can't beleive that it has almost been a year since I last wrote in here!
There has been more bad things that happened than good this past year I feel. I really didn't feel like blogging because it would just be depressing! I am working on being more positive and trying to make it threw this constant storm of ours.

We have had MORE than our share of illnesses, doctor appointments, blood work, invasive procedures, diagnoses (me 5 this past year-bryant 1), family going threw some DEEP struggles-that I could barely focus on work cuz all I thought about was how to help, family that drove us cRaZy for months on end, work that SUCKED, bryants injury-now its been 2 and a half months since he has been out of work-now surgery, constant major car issues, moving-CONSTANT issues with this place, my anxiety issues still linger AND the list could go on and on. TRUST me!

BUT, we have also had our testimonies get stronger-I got the courage to bear it 3 times now- thats more than my WHOLE life total, we made the goal of getting sealed in the New York Manhattan Temple this year, Bryant hasn't had a sip of coffee in about 7 months now, I have lost almost 30 pounds in this time, I have been learning to forgive the 2 people in my life who have caused me SO MUCH pain (you have NO idea) and they are called my biological parents-my bishop has been helping me with this-if I can forgive THEM I can forgive ANYONE-work in progress, we do scripture study EVERY night, family prayer EVERY night, FHE on fridays-still a work in progress, paying tithing more, going to church EVERY sunday, our marriage has gotten stronger, he helps around the house more, I cook more healthier meals, I am learning to manage my anxiety without medication-TRUST me-its SUPER hard to do, we have BOTH come to a better understanding of the "reason" for both of our miscarriages-we are starting to think of them less and less-which is a good thing-we aren't forgetting those precious babies, but the pain behind it AND this list could go on and on.

So, we have taken our lessons from this past year and decided to take a GIANT leap of faith forward. Remembering the blessings that we HAVE recieved and the ones we WILL recieve! Holding onto the iron rod as we build our firm foundation in Jesus Christ. We know the storm will continue to pound us. We know that it will let up occasionally. We know that when the storm is gone, that it WILL come back. But, as long as we have each other and our focus is eternal, we can make it.