Dragged my kid to a baby shower today. That was almost 2 hours away. In the middle of nap time. It was great to get to see a few old friends, but not exactly the relaxing afternoon it could have been. Whatever. My choice.
So, there were balloons there. What more does a 3.5 year old need, really? He played with a deflated one for a while, then wanted a 'real' one. Filled with helium goodness. I gave him one and tied some cloth ribbon from one of the gifts to the bottom to prevent it from flying away outside. He didn't like that. I tried to tie a few other things to the bottom. He didn't like that either. I tried to tie it to his wrist. Surprise, surprise, he didn't like that. I tried in my best "I can reason with the unreasonable" voice to explain that the balloon would fly away when he went outside if I didn't tie it to something. He didn't like that.
So he walked outside and not 3 feet from the door, let go. Screaming commenced. For a good 10 minutes. Awesomeness.
After calming down (and refusing the SEVERAL other balloons offered to him by myself and various shower attendees), he ventured back outside and requested another balloon. Immediately at least 123048932908 people shouted out "tie it to his wrist this time!".
REALLY??????? What a BRILLIANT idea!!!!!!
The good news is that after the lengthy afternoon, he literally put himself to bed the second we walked through our door. With balloon in tow.
It's mine now, alllllllllll mine! I'm thinking of living on the edge a bit. Perhaps I'll venture outside with said balloon WITHOUT tying it to my wrist. I am craaaaazy.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Oh Hi. Incident.
Yeah, still alive.
Will spare you the details of the goings on in my life. Will entertain you with random tidbits instead.
1. Put a Diet Coke in my fridge at work to chill in the dinky little freezer with the door flap inside the fridge. It actually froze the soda (that thing never freezes ANYTHING! WTF?), so I shook the soda to see if it was indeed frozen. Forgot about said shaking, got into car, pulled out of parking lot, opened soda. Stopped at stop sign, opened door, allowed the half of the soda that hadn't exploded in my car to drip onto the ground. By the time all was said and done, I was wearing more diet coke than what was left in the can, and what was left in the can was frozen. What a pisser.
2. Our house has been invaded by house flies. I guess they are welcome, since they are indeed HOUSE flies, but we're not exactly fans. And have killed at least 15 this evening. Super gross. The bright side is they are a sickly group and very lethargic, so therefore relatively easy to kill. Gonna try to trap some with chopsticks like the Karate Kid.
3. I broke a piece of the ceiling in my classroom today while hanging shit for Open House. This was after a clothesline holding 13 book report mobiles and 13 hot air balloon art projects snapped in half, causing reports and balloons to fly everywhere in the classroom. The 3rd graders were excited, to say the least. It was A DAY. And now I have to figure out how to hide the broken ceiling from my principal. Not quite sure how to do that.
Nice to see ya.
Will spare you the details of the goings on in my life. Will entertain you with random tidbits instead.
1. Put a Diet Coke in my fridge at work to chill in the dinky little freezer with the door flap inside the fridge. It actually froze the soda (that thing never freezes ANYTHING! WTF?), so I shook the soda to see if it was indeed frozen. Forgot about said shaking, got into car, pulled out of parking lot, opened soda. Stopped at stop sign, opened door, allowed the half of the soda that hadn't exploded in my car to drip onto the ground. By the time all was said and done, I was wearing more diet coke than what was left in the can, and what was left in the can was frozen. What a pisser.
2. Our house has been invaded by house flies. I guess they are welcome, since they are indeed HOUSE flies, but we're not exactly fans. And have killed at least 15 this evening. Super gross. The bright side is they are a sickly group and very lethargic, so therefore relatively easy to kill. Gonna try to trap some with chopsticks like the Karate Kid.
3. I broke a piece of the ceiling in my classroom today while hanging shit for Open House. This was after a clothesline holding 13 book report mobiles and 13 hot air balloon art projects snapped in half, causing reports and balloons to fly everywhere in the classroom. The 3rd graders were excited, to say the least. It was A DAY. And now I have to figure out how to hide the broken ceiling from my principal. Not quite sure how to do that.
Nice to see ya.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
The Tampons Take A Shower Incident
So, in the past 2 months, my dog as eaten my used tampons, my cat has strewn them about the floor to use as toys, and my son has taken one I was about to use and demanded I give it to him because he wanted a period.
Yesterday, my husband told me he had some bad news. Somehow, an almost brand new box of tampons that was on the floor next to the shower ended up IN the shower. Which was on.
How the fuck that happens, I'll never know.
He said he hoped I could still use them.
I'm both cheap and environmentally friendly. They are the kind in the paper wrapper with cardboard tube. You know, products that ABSORB WATER.
So yeah, no, not so much with them being usable still.
SERIOUSLY?????? IS NOTHING SACRED? The inhabitants of my house need to leave my tampons alone. My vagina needs them.
Yesterday, my husband told me he had some bad news. Somehow, an almost brand new box of tampons that was on the floor next to the shower ended up IN the shower. Which was on.
How the fuck that happens, I'll never know.
He said he hoped I could still use them.
I'm both cheap and environmentally friendly. They are the kind in the paper wrapper with cardboard tube. You know, products that ABSORB WATER.
So yeah, no, not so much with them being usable still.
SERIOUSLY?????? IS NOTHING SACRED? The inhabitants of my house need to leave my tampons alone. My vagina needs them.
Monday, March 7, 2011
The "I'll Never Get To It Again!" incident
Today, I had to get some glue dots out of my scrapping stuff. Which is buried in my son's closet. And I do mean buried. Like, under a push-toy, basketball toy, stack of grocery sacks, and bag full of cross stitch stuff.
I felt bad enough going through the toys. I didn't even know they were there. When I got to the cross stitch stuff, I totally teared up. It was just another thing I used to do and now will never get to again. Much like cleaning the raisins (or really old grapes?) out of my car, or sleeping. I will never do it again.
Sigh. Then again, I did, at one point, say I'd never drink vodka again (BAAAAAD night in college. Bad. Like, vomiting til 5 pm the next day, bad.), and this past summer, vodka and I reunited. Turns out reunited really does feel so good. So, maybe there's hope that someday I'll finish the cross stitch I started for my friend's kid. Who is now 1. And a half. Right after I figure out how the hell the mini basketball hoop ended up in the closet.
I felt bad enough going through the toys. I didn't even know they were there. When I got to the cross stitch stuff, I totally teared up. It was just another thing I used to do and now will never get to again. Much like cleaning the raisins (or really old grapes?) out of my car, or sleeping. I will never do it again.
Sigh. Then again, I did, at one point, say I'd never drink vodka again (BAAAAAD night in college. Bad. Like, vomiting til 5 pm the next day, bad.), and this past summer, vodka and I reunited. Turns out reunited really does feel so good. So, maybe there's hope that someday I'll finish the cross stitch I started for my friend's kid. Who is now 1. And a half. Right after I figure out how the hell the mini basketball hoop ended up in the closet.
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