I have a pretty wha?

I had another monitoring appointment this morning. Ole lefty is chugging right along with 5 follicles all measuring 13-14 mm.

"Special" righty is starting to get her act together with 4 measuring between 11-12mm. Righty is so special that the ultrasound tech looked at my measurements from Wednesday and asked if I still had my right ovary. That's nice. Reeeeeaal nice.

And, somewhere between the 2 of them, I have 4 more that are measuring around 10.

I proceeded to disrobe in superhuman time because they never give you enough time. Presto chango! I'm tempted to buy some of those pants that have velcro along the seam so I can just whip them off at a moment's notice.

The u/s tech came back in and we got down to business. Her first comment?

"Oh, what a pretty endometrium!".

What is the response to THAT? I just said "Uh, thanks?". Like I had something to do with it.

The doctor came in and she said, "Dr. G! Look at her endometrium! Isn't that just so pretty?"

He looked at her, looked at me and said "Yeah, it looks good".

So, now I'm wondering, "What is up with this lady?" And more importantly, why is she so in love with my uterus?

Perhaps she just really, really, really likes her job.

I go back tomorrow morning for another u/s and the doctor thinks I'll trigger Sunday or Monday.

I'll try to remember to put some lipstick on my endometrium so we're both presentable.

Follie Update

I'm all grownz'd up.

For those who haven't followed my blog for very long, I had a hard time getting started during my first IVF cycle. It reminded me of the short bus that some kids have to ride. Yes, I'm a little slow.

So far, this cycle is going according to schedule and I haven't needed any additional dosage adjustments.

I had my 3rd follie check today and I've got 5 on the left, all measuring 12-13mm and 4 (so far) on the right measuring right around 10mm.

I guess my left ovary is just an overachiever. The doctor did say she thought it's retarded sister would probably come around in the next few days.

I have another check on Friday and hopefully we'll be able to confirm the ER. I'm thinking March 3rd or 4th right now.

Overall, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm not quite sure why they call this portion the "stim" portion?

'Cuz I sure as heck don't feel stimulated. I think tranquilized is a more accurate word. I'm falling asleep at my desk and try as I might, I can't stay awake past 9:00 pm.

Whoo Hoo! Party Girl! Get yer groove on!

Flashback to High School

We went to the Capitals game last night. The seats weren't as good as I had hoped. We were 1st row behind the opponent's penalty box so we were really close to the "action" but our view was limited when they got to the other end of the ice.

Although, I probably would have loved the seats had the Caps actually shown up to play last night and had a chance of winning the game.

Here's a few pics:

DH and me








After much debate, I decided not to risk being arrested as I entered the game and left my syringe o'stims at home. Since it was my first shot I didn't see any difference in doing it at 9:00 or 11:30pm.

So, we got home, I plopped my stuff down and headed for the kitchen to retrieve my first dose of baby-makin' miracle juice.

Open box of Menopur...... check
Take out vials........... check
Grab empty syringe....... check
Grab Q-cup............... check
Grab alcohol wipe........ check

And then I drew a blank.

I'm talking "pit-in-my-stomach-oh-crap-I-wish-I-would've-come-to-class-more-often-is-this-exam-in-Russian?" kind of blank.

I could not remember what to do.

OK, calm down. Think, you're a smart girl.
Maybe I still have directions somewhere?

I grabbed my IVF expando-file and thumbed to the section entitled "Medications"

How to give a subcutaneous shot... no
How to give an intramuscular shot... no
Receipt for Menopur...... no
More receipts..... no, no and no
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich.... what the?
Coupon for my next order of Gonal-F.... well, that's nice. I'll have to remember that.
More receipts.... no

Shit.

Plan B - it's midnight on the East Coast. I wonder if any of my blogger friends would be on-line?

I decide not to embarrass myself by posting an SOS.

I call out to my DH.

"T? Do you remember how to mix my Menopur?"

"Your what?"

Ok, that's not going to work.

I decided to open an un-opened box of Menopur to see if it contained directions.(note, I still had one box left from my last cycle that had been opened. I didn't want you to think I was purchasing black market drugs)

"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" (imagine an angelic glow here)

There they were, all folded up neatly in the corner of the box.

DIRECTIONS!

My protocol calls for 150 iu of Menopur and I kept thinking that was the amount I needed to load into the syringe.

They gave me 3 mL syringes and I just could not figure out how that all translated.

I was completely dumb-founded.

Now, keep in mind. Math was never my strength. I counted on my fingers until I was 30.

So, I read the directions about 15 times and then one paragraph finally made sense.

Solution may be used to dissolve up to 5 additional vials, for a total of 6 vials in 1 syringe.

Ta ting! (lightbulb)

One vial = 75 iu so I need to use TWO vials! Now, I remember!

I felt like freakin' Einstein!

I think I got it all figured out. I guess I'll find out in a few days.

What a day

Today is my DH's 40th birthday. He seems to be taking it OK.

I greeted him with a card and a bag full of mini Snickers this morning. That would make anyone happy, right?

His actual present is on Friday. I purchased tickets to the hot,hot,hot Washington Capitals game.

FIRST ROW BEHIND THE PENALTY BOX!

Yes, I am the best wife ev-er!
(and it doesn't hurt that I'm pretty darn excited about going too).

We're going with his 2 brothers so I know we'll have fun. Since I'm cycling, I'm the automatic DD but that's OK.

So, I get to work this morning and "Mommy with Twins" is back. You know. My cube neighbor. She was out for 7 months and it was so nice and.....

quiet.

All day long, people were coming and going asking the same damn questions.

How are the kids?
How are you feeling?
Are you sad today?
How many times have you called the daycare?

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And, then she proceeded to get into an hour discussion about her labor with another co-worker and the other expecting mother in our office.

Oh dear Jesus. I thought it would never end.

I went to the restroom around 10:30 and was greeted by AF so that was actually a pleasant surprise. I'm one day ahead of protocol.

Lupron Evaluation will be Friday morning and hopefully stims will start that evening.

Oh? Did you detect a dilemma too?

Remember the hockey game?

I'm going to have to do my shots in the bathroom at the hockey game!

"Excuse me, pardon me. I have to shoot up now".

Or maybe I'll get arrested on my way into the game?

"Breaker, breaker. We have a situation at the entrance. Some lady has 2 syringes with some sort of clear liquid in them. Yes, I think we should evacuate".

Maybe I'll make my DH carry them. Ha!

"What's in the box?!"

**WARNING and DISCLAIMER**

This video is my lame attempt at humor and contains some graphic (yet ironic and quite funny) lyrics toward the end. Promise me you'll watch it before you keep reading!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRJcxMe1zWY

Pretty funny, huh? Huh?

Anywho, my meds came today in a box. So, here's my photo shoot.

Before


After



The delivery wasn't quite as eventful as the first. We still have the same mailroom guy but I wasn't at my desk when he dropped off the box.

I can only imagine he was calling all of his friends:

"Hey, do you remember that freaky chick that I work with?"

"Yeah, she got another box today".

"Uh-huh, it was labeled "Personal and Confidential" again"

Well, atleast my freaky-deaky sex toys lasted me almost a year.

Finding Peace

This has been one of the hardest weeks of my life. Second only to the loss of my pregnancy.

I was a complete and utter mess last Saturday. You know when you hear people say that it feels like a bad dream? That's really how it feels.

I still find myself thinking, "Oh, she's just in the kitchen" and then that pit comes back in my stomach and I remember that she's gone.

I wonder when I'll get to the point that it seems more normal not to have her here instead of the opposite?

Each day that I came home from work, I had another challenge to face. I placed another order for her IV bags and her prescription food the day before she died so I knew those items would come this week.

I'm OK if I'm expecting it.

I got home Tuesday and grabbed the mail. There were 3 sympathy cards: one from our vet, one from the emergency vet and one from my MIL.

I decided to open the one from our vet first because I knew that would be the one that got me.

The owner wrote a very nice note inside which made me cry. A lot.

I didn't expect anything unusual from the emergency vet because they didn't know us or Kaly.

I opened the card and something fell to the table.

It was Kaly's paw prints and a clipping of her fur.

Game over. I've never cried that hard in my entire life. I literally had to sit down.

It was one of the nicest gestures and I am truly grateful for their thoughtfulness.

We decided to have Kaly cremated and she came home on Thursday. I found some comfort in knowing that she was with us again.

I cleared a shelf beside our fireplace and that's her place now.





I still feel like I'm walking around in a haze with this constant feeling that something is wrong.

I know it will get easier and I knew I'd be sad but I wasn't prepared for such intense grief.

It sucks. It really, really sucks.

We went and saw our vet last night. We hadn't talked to him at all but he did leave a message for us on Monday.

I had 24 IV bags and a 16 lb bag of food that had been sitting in my kitchen all week. I needed to get rid of them.

He gave me a hug and I said "Don't make me cry" and he said "Don't you make me cry". When we parted, he was teary-eyed and I thought that was the nicest thing.

We were getting ready to leave and he said "I know she was yours but I always thought of her as mine too - she was my Friday night gal" (because her appts were always on Fridays).

I know he misses her as much as we do.