Bellamy's Birth Story

Our daughter, Bellamy June Clark made her debut at 10:38am on April 28, 2014, weighing in at 7lbs. 2oz and 19 1/2 inches long.  The last few months we have been floating.

Truth be told, there are many uncomfortable (and downright painful) parts of labor, and after labor that tend to slip your mind after you make it out of that crazy first six weeks with a newborn.  You quickly remember them as you begin to go through them again but nothing, and I mean NOTHING compares to, or can dull the joy that she has brought into my life over the past few months. 

This delivery was different from both of my previous experiences.  I was induced with Cash at 38 weeks exactly, because of high blood pressure. We went to the hospital the night before the induction on a Tuesday, and stayed through Friday. The labor itself was a great experience for a first timer.  I only pushed for 40 minutes, and he was there, all 7lbs. 8oz. of him. When I left, my hormones were so crazy from labor, breastfeeding, and the horrible anxiety I felt before the induction NOT TO MENTION all of the stress of being a new, first time parent.  I loved LOVED Cash, but I was weepy on and off, and extremely exhausted.  With Beckett, I went into labor at 39 weeks 4 days. I went to the hospital with regular braxton hicks. They sent me home saying that I hadn't progressed but I was back about 6 hours later. They admitted me, and I had another great birth experience.  He was 9lbs. 14.5 oz! I had no emotional issues with him afterwards, and life was back to normal pretty quickly. Even though he was bigger, I healed easier with him than I did with Cash. 

This time, I was being induced because of Bellamy's single umbilical artery.  I was 39 weeks 2 days for my induction.  It was scheduled for 3am! That Sunday (the day before) we went to church in the morning, and had a relaxing afternoon at home for most of the rest of the day. If I ever have to spend any kind of time anticipating a big event, I am usually so beside myself with anxiety I am nauseated for the duration of the wait. That had been the thing I had been praying about the most besides Bellamy and I's overall health. I can't stand feeling anxious or nauseated (especially nauseated).  I'm never surprised per se when my prayers are answered, but still always amazed.  I felt so good the days before the induction, compared to how I thought I was going to feel.  I was excited-anxious instead of fearful-anxious.  I wasn't throwing up (which is almost always a side effect of my extreme anxiety), and I wasn't even really nauseated.  Sunday evening, we took a drive as a family, and Colt and the boys got Chipotle for dinner down on Westshore. I had to eat light because of the induction, so I had some rice. We came home, put the boys to bed and I tried not to think about how that was the last time I would see them as only two siblings.  I made myself some pasta to try and fill my stomach up before my 12am cut off time for food.  After my 11:30pm snack I tried to lay down and rest for a while. It wasn't happening, so I got up and got in the shower.  By the time I finished packing my bag, put on some makeup, dried my hair and threw on some clothes, it was almost time to leave. I took some time by myself to pray and get my thoughts together, and proceeded out of the bedroom to help Colt pack the car up.  My mom, sister and father arrived around 2am.  Daddy stayed with the boys while they slept and was going to bring them up to the hospital the next morning. Emilee, my mom and Colt were my labor coaches.  We had a fun drive up to the hospital talking and joking around.  When we pulled down the street that led to the hospital, I got quiet.  It was “go time”.  When we arrived they had me fill out some paperwork and wait for a bed to open up. Apparently it was a big day for babies.  Finally we got called up. We were led up to the room by a very fast walking sign-in lady who introduced us to our nurse. I changed into my gown and got into the bed.  The nurse came in and made some small talk. She seemed excited to hear that it wasn’t my first rodeo.   She asked about the boys and my labor experiences with both of them.  She said she would be back to start my Pitocin. In the meantime, we scrolled through the “On Demand” movies that the hospital offered and chose “Just Go With It” with Adam Sandler.  I asked her how long the Pitocin would take to kick in and when I would start feeling painful contractions. I couldn’t remember from my experience with Cash because the Cervadil they had given me the night before had already caused me some cramping and contractions, which I wasn’t having at all with Bellamy.  This was a new hospital for us, and I had heard that other women had to wait for their epidural once they wanted it because the anesthesiologist was busy helping other patients.  I wanted to put my name down on whatever waiting list they had so that I didn’t have to sit in pain for who knows how long once I determined I wanted it! She said it would probably take about an hour for anything to happen with my contractions.  Well she was wrong. Haha! I don’t know if my body just responds really well to the Pitocin or what, but it seems like once they start me on it, it doesn’t take but a few hours until I start pushing.   Within what seems like 15 minutes to a half hour I was having painful contractions.  I remember watching the movie, trying to concentrate but being in real pain. I felt embarrassed after such a short amount of time to be asking for the epidural, but they were just as painful if not more than my natural (non-induced labor) labor contractions with Beckett.  I told her I wanted the epidural , expecting that I would have to wait at least 30 minutes. Thankfully the anestisiologist came in quickly and administered the good stuff. J   Whenever anyone asks me what the epidural feels like, I always say it feels like when your tooth is being numbed, but it’s your back. For me it is kind of a weird, achy feeling as they are administering it, but not painful.  Everyone has their own opinions and/or experiences with epidurals, but this was my third one, and I've always had great experiences. Love em'! :) After that, I was able to get some sleep on and off. I would be awakened by Mama, Emilee and Colt laughing throughout the next few hours on and off. Unlike University Community Hospital where I delivered Cash and Beckett, St. Joe’s only had ONE chair in the room. I think we asked for a second chair to accommodate my mother and sister, but poor Colt was out of luck. I remember him trying to make a pallet on the floor of the hospital room so he could lay down at one point, until my sister brought it to his attention that there have surely been many very disgusting things on that floor over time.  The nurse came in a little while after the epidural and I had progressed to about 3-4cm.  This wasn’t much progress, so in my mind, I was thinking it may be a long night/morning.  They broke my water, and then eventually I fell back asleep.  I slept on and off again, and when I woke up around 9:30-10am I started to feel sick. I was spitting up a little bit but then I had some gum and felt a little bit better. The nurse said when I started to feel pressure, to call her in and she would check me.  I told my mom I was feeling a lot of pressure, and could feel more and more water with each contraction.  I called the nurse in telling her I was feeling a lot of pressure, and even some pain through the contractions. I pressed the button to up my epidural and could feel the cold medicine administering itself into my epidural catheter in my back.  The nurse came in and I explained that I was feeling a great deal of pressure. I could tell she didn’t believe that I was much farther dilated because it hadn’t been that long since the last time she checked me. I knew my body though. She checked and said, “Oh yeah, you’re ready! Are you ready to push?” Of course I was. That is always my favorite part! It sounds weird but it is such an exciting few minutes when they start wheeling out the tray with the medical tools on it “just in case”, as well as the infant warmer, blanket and hat, and pull down the big spotlight directed straight on you. At that moment, no one else can push that baby out except me. Everyone is depending on my body to do its job, and everyone is waiting on me. I’m NOT someone that likes to be the center of attention. EVER. But at that moment, I love being the one in that bed. Maybe that’s weird.  All the necessary people were coming into the room. My mom, sister and Colt had been there the whole time. The nurse came in and introduced me to the doctor. She was a doctor in my practice, but at the other location. I hadn’t ever met her, but she was really nice. As I moved my legs into “ready position” Colt turned on the playlist he created for me to push to.  Tom Petty “Rebels” was the first song up.  I took a deep breath in and pushed once really hard. My mom moved my right leg back a tiny bit, and Bellamy’s head came out. The doctor said, “SHE’S HERE!” I was confused. I couldn’t tell if she was saying she was really close or what that meant.  She said, “One more half push.” I gave one more small, half push and they laid her on my chest. It was so surreal.  One and a half pushes. We didn’t even get to the end of the first song on that playlist. The doctor laughed because it was so quick. She was ready to see us. Nothing, nothing, nothing, NOTHING compares to that moment that they hand you your baby. I will never forget that feeling as long as I live. This little warm, wet, crying baby  is thrashing all over you and looking to you for comfort. This hospital does something called skin to skin, where the baby lays on your chest for a long time (maybe 30 minutes to an hour) after it is born. I cut Bellamy’s cord. Colt is squeamish about that kind of stuff, so Mama cut Cash’s cord, Sharon (Colt’s mother) cut Beckett’s cord, and I cut Bellamy’s cord. I don’t know exactly why, but it meant a lot to me that I was able to do that. Maybe some kind of sentimental thought that I cut the literal cord that linked her body to mine for 9 months. Maybe the idea that when she’s 16 and wants to be out with her friends all the time I can say, “I cut your cord, and I can tie it back up again.” J  After that my Daddy came up to see her. They moved me to mother/baby after about an hour and I got settled in my room. 

I wanted to see the boys as soon as they would let me.  One of the things that choked me up was how they came into the room. My in-laws, Buddy and Sharon were there, my parents, my sister, brother, grandmother (aka Pam Pam), and Aunt Penny were all there, but they let the boys walk in first and gave them space to meet their sister without everyone rushing in at once. The boys walked up to the bed with big smiles on their faces. Honestly I expected that they would be a little bit scared, or stand-offish but there was none of that. They both walked right over to me, and wanted to meet their sister. Beckett was really interested in looking at her. He kept smiling  at her, touching her face, and rubbing her arms and face. They both liked seeing all her brown hair underneath her hat. They thought her toes were so cute. Cash was a little bit more concerned with me being in the bed.  I could tell he was a little bit worried about me, although he was still smiling and excited. He kept touching my IV and asking what it was and why I couldn’t take it off. They both took turns holding her. It was so much more than I could have hoped for.

It has been almost 4 months since that special day now. I started writing this post immediately when I came home from the hospital, but with three babies hanging around, it, like many other things have been pushed to the back burner. I couldn’t imagine my life without all of the people I have in it. Colt is literally the answer to every prayer I prayed for the perfect husband for me. He is such a unique man and my match in every single, most minute way. My kids are funny. They’re sweet, and smart, and entertaining, and beautiful and charming, and sometimes naughty but ALWAYS and forever SO loved.  I’ve heard people say, “These are the best times of our lives and we don’t even know it”, almost as a cautionary statement to enjoy every season of life. I was thinking about that statement yesterday while I was nursing Bellamy, and I just thought, “I KNOW it”.  This is the best time of my life thus far. Not to say that the future will never be as great as this or the past was bad, but I just am really thankful for every part of my life right now. I don’t let a day go by that I express that to God because I know in the deepest part of my soul that everything has come from Him.

Thank you to all who read through this long, rambling post. Although these posts are mostly for my benefit of looking back and reading my thoughts on things as I was going through them, I love that you care enough to read as well. Love you all!

Twenty-Seven Weeks: Single Umblical Artery and other stuff

Slacking! Slacking, slacking, slacking! I know.

It seems like before I found out the gender of this little lady, writing a blog entry about the pregnancy or the baby helped occupy my time while I daydreamed about planning a nursery, looking at baby clothes, and all the other things you can't do when you don't know the gender.  When I found out it was a girl, all bets were off. Now when the boys go to bed (the time that I do all my blog posts), if I'm not busy cleaning something or editing photos, I was putting the nursery together (done thankfully), browsing baby girl clothes online, and basically just NOT blogging.

SO since the last baby related update, we went to our 20 week ultrasound. I had another ultrasound at my OB's office around 16 weeks because I wasn't sure if I had had some spotting earlier that week (week 16) and since I was there for my regular 16 week appointment anyway, they did a quick ultrasound and all was well.  We had just seen the baby at 16 weeks, so I wasn't expecting that much had changed at the 20 week ultrasound, but of course anytime you can see the baby is exciting, especially since this was the full anatomy exam and they give you all the details about all the body parts.  We brought Sharon, Colt's mom and Terri, my mom to the ultrasound with us to watch the show and help with the boys who were also in attendance.  They went through all of the measurements and she said everything was looking awesome. Then she got to the cord. She started zooming in, and backing out and zooming in again. Then she put on the blood flow setting to see how the blood was moving.  I asked if there was anything wrong because I thought it was strange that it was taking so long. She said that it appeared that the baby had single umbilical artery. I didn't know what that meant at the time, but she said that I would probably just get a few more ultrasounds out of it.  When I went to talk to the doctor after my ultrasound, I didn't know what questions to ask so I didn't have much to say.  She assured me that it was not a HUGE deal, but said that as the umbilical cord forms at the same time as the heart and kidneys, that sometimes they can also have problems also. There is also a small chance that she could have some chromosomal problems. I left the appointment feeling ok. I didn't cry. I didn't feel devastated. I felt a little nervous but I was more nervous to tell my family and Colt's family. I didn't want people to worry.

When I came home I started doing some research. Don't "google" anything to do with health issues. Just don't. Ever. I am a very logical person and I tend to analyze people and the reasons that they do what they do. I knew that logically, for the most part, the only people that are going to post something on a message board concerning a certain topic are people that had a really bad or really great experience with something. In the case of health issues, most of the people that are posting are people that have had worst case scenarios because if you came out with a good outcome, you would just go on with your life and not take the time to write about it in a message board.  I tried to keep that in mind as I read the posts, but it is difficult to keep a level head after reading post after post of complications people were dealing with as a result of single umbilical artery.  From what I understand, it is one of the most common umbilical cord problems, but still only occurs in around 1% of pregnancies.  It wasn't until recently when ultrasound technology became so advanced that they even diagnosed it in pregnancy. They used to see it after the baby was born if they inspected the umbilical cord. So LOGICALLY there could have been many more babies with this condition that they just didn't know about. As I said earlier, the most common complication associated with this condition is with the heart and kidneys. It is also associated with low birth weight, and in small percentages it can be associated with chromosomal problems (although the research on that is showing less and less of an association).  After talking to the doctor, they set me up with an appointment at the Perinatal doctor's office for a Level 2 ultrasound.  They said that this was going to determine whether or not there were any complications and to see what he recommended.

We had to wait 3 1/2 weeks for our appointment! It felt like forever. Our 20 week ultrasound at the regular OB's office was right before Christmas, so we had to get through the holidays and the new year before we got our appointment with the Perinatal doctor.  The night before that appointment I was very nervous. Colt brought me home some pink roses from the store. I kept two of the rose buds and put them in a shadow box with some pink shoes in her room. The morning of the appointment I was even more nervous. I still hadn't cried in the whole 3 or 4 weeks. I was just anxious to move on. I felt in my heart that she was ok and I just wanted the doctor to tell me that.  Our appointment was at 8:15am, which for anyone that knows us, might as well be the middle of the night. Still sleepy time. Haha! They led us back to the dark ultrasound room. I got on the table, prepared for whatever they were going to tell us. There was a radio playing somewhat loud in the room. The ultrasound tech wasn't very friendly. I kept asking questions, even though some of them were just me talking to myself out loud. She didn't seem to like that very much.  During a break when she left the room for a second, I asked Colt if he felt like she was aggravated with me, and he nicely told me that I was asking too many questions. I nicely told him that for what we were paying for that appointment, I would ask any and every question that popped into my little head (ie: "Is that her hand?" "Does that look ok?" "What kind of car do you drive?" "What is your home address?"---HAHA).  Turns out she was just hyper focused and warmed up slightly after the ultrasound was done. She said, "Act surprised, but she looks great!"  The doctor came in a few minutes later and reaffirmed what she had said. It appears that Bellamy has an isolated case of single umbilical artery. That means that for some reason, the second artery never developed but there was no "reason" behind it. They don't know why, but they do know that for some reason it seems to be more common in females.  I kept saying, "So it looks like everything is normal," and other variations of that same sentence over and over again. I just wanted to make sure there was nothing he was leaving out.  He said from now on, we will have an ultrasound every 4 weeks at my regular OB's office to check on her growth because with this condition, babies can tend to slow down in their growth the further into pregnancy that they get because the baby demands more food, and there is only one artery working. So far, at that point she was in the 50th percentile for growth and doing great! I go for my 28 week ultrasound next week. 

Looking back I suppose that was another reason I didn't do a lot of blogging over the last few weeks. I didn't want to send out a false alarm or panic. I also didn't want to make it seem perfectly rosy, and then there be a problem.  The doctor said that after that ultrasound, the chances of her having any problems is less than 2%.  I'm good with that. The good news is, I know that our family can get through anything because we have God and each other. No matter what the outcome is, we're ok!

Since then, we have started and finished the nursery. Beckett and Cash are sharing Cash's room (now "the boys' room"). We got them bunk beds. They started off with Cash on the top twin bunk, and Beckett sleeping on the bottom, full bunk.  About three nights in, Cash decided to sleep on the bottom with Beckett. They have been sleeping together everynight and napping together everyday. I think it has brought them even closer. Tonight they were up until AFTER MIDNIGHT talking and telling each other stories. I LOVE listening to them. Sometimes Colt and I will mute the TV and sit quietly just to listen to their stories and conversations. I can't remember if I have discussed this before or not, but we have decided on homeschooling. We have been working on learning the alphabet letters and letter sounds, and both of the boys are picking it up so quickly! Beckett knows so many of his letters already from the games I made up for the boys to learn them, and he's only 2 1/2! I'm so proud of them, and SO excited for this adventure.

There isn't a lot more to do in terms of preparation for Bellamy's arrival. I'm going to wash the car seat cover soon, and start to wash the baby gear (pack-n-play, rock-n-play sleeper, swing, etc.) I'm glad it has all survived this long! I have to narrow down the hospital outfits I want to bring. :)

This pregnancy continues to be different in many ways to both of my others, although I still don't think its a girl/boy thing necessarily since my pregnancies with the boys were different.  I have noticed in the last few days that my arm gets this feeling like I have a pinched nerve. It starts to feel like its going a little bit numb.  I called the doctor to ask about it and she said that circulation issues are common in pregnancy and not to worry unless it becomes painful. I haven't felt it in several days so I'm not worried about it.  I think I have gained somewhere between 15 and 17 lbs. by now. Lets call it 16 lbs. I'm hoping to keep it under 30 total. We'lllll see. Haha! She seems to be VERY low right now. I have been seeing my chiropractor for the pinched nerve in my lower back, and even he commented on how low she was. Maybe its a 3rd baby thing? Who knows. 

That's all I can think of for now. Anxiously awaiting her healthy arrival! Keep us in your prayers! Talk to you soon!

Happy New Year

Its New Year's Eve, and after the pizza, painting Bellamy's rocking chair, playtime, mini-dance party, and fake countdown, the boys are laying in Cash's bed with Colt watching funny videos on his phone. I just heard Colt singing, "Beautiful Boy(s)" by John Lennon to them. No better way to spend tonight.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Growing Pains

Sometimes growing up is hard. Tonight it was hard.

Cash still takes a pacifier at bedtime. Say what you wish about that, but it was only when he was sleeping, and it wasn't hurting anyone, so we let him have it.  Over the past two days, Colt has been working non-stop, and I just so happened to find my self pacifier-less at naptime yesterday. Its difficult to find a pacifier with a one man search and rescue team to scour the whole house and car, but Colt has so much time off with us that its hardly fair to complain. Beckett had his pacifier, but I couldn't find one for Cash anywhere. I told him it was time for his nap and he would have to go to sleep without it. I said, "You are a big boy, and you don't need a pacifier to go to sleep anymore."  Suprisingly, he went to sleep rather easily. He woke up about an hour to an hour and a half later, which is a litte bit earlier than he usually does. He was looking for his pacifier in his bed, and was obviously still tired because he wouldn't open his eyes. I saw him moving around on the monitor so I went in to calm him down so he'd finish his nap. That's when the water works started. I put him in bed with me, but he just cried and cried, a tired, sad little cry.  Eventually he got over it, and got up to play.  He went to bed that night without a pacifier and slept fine through the night.

Today naptime was easy! He went to sleep easily and slept the full, usual two hours. 

Tonight, bedtime was a different story.  I put Beckett to bed, who coincidentally, decided for the first time today that he wasn't going to take a nap. That has NEVER happened. He went the whole day without sleeping, so he conked out when I put him down.  Cash sat on the couch watching Toy Story 3, waiting patiently for me to come out of Beckett's room. He had a snack that I owed him for finishing his dinner, and we walked in his bedroom. We said prayers, talked for a while, and I let him play a game on my phone. Then it was MY time, for the first time all day. I told him I would be out in the living room (he can see me from the foot of his bed) and to go to sleep.  This is all normal, bedtime routine.  The only difference is, Colt isn't coming home tonight (Saturday night).  He is playing a wedding in Marco Island and is meeting us at church tomorrow morning.  Cash looks forward to cuddling, and watching funny YouTube videos with Colt everynight. He laid at the foot of his bed asking for Daddy. After 20 minutes or so, the asking, turned into crying...then begging for me to call him. I thought a phone call might help calm him down. He talked to Colt for a few minutes, and it seemed to be getting worse and worse.  "I want you to come home. You've been working a long day. I want you to stop working." ALL things a Daddy wants to hear while he's out of town and unable to do anything about it.  I wouldn't have subjected Colt to such a guilt trip if I had known that's what Cash was going to say. He usually just says he misses him and asks Colt to come in and check on him when he gets home. Anyway, after that phone call, there was nothing I could do to calm him down. He is learning to try and calm himself down, and lull himself to sleep without the pacifier. There is nothing I can do to help him with that.  He laid there crying, and then I, swimming in all of my pregnancy hormones started crying too. He said, "Why are you crying?" I said, "I'm crying because you're sad. I don't want you to be sad." He said, "I won't make you sad again, I promise." I said, "I love you so so much," as I showered him with kisses. He said, "I love you so much too." It was a pretty pitiful sight.  After we both calmed down some, he started giggling about this or that. He fell asleep about 20 minutes later, head in my neck and arm crossed through mine. Not a bad resolution for me. I love any and every excuse to cuddle and the smell his skin and hair so close to me. Although both my boys really love to cuddle at bedtime.

Its such a small scale compared to some of the things he's likely to face in life but its so sad to witness your child be so desperate for something, or so distraught in facing a new challenge, yet you know he has to figure it out for himself. Sometimes the only thing you can offer is a little extra cuddle time, a showering of kisses, and excessive "I love yous". That seemed to do the trick for this evening.  It may not always be that easy, so I'll take it for tonight.

It's a GIRL!

Well, at this point this post will be "old news" but that's because I have been busy floating around in a dream-like state for the last week.  IT'S-A-GIRL! Those are words I thought I may never say. It all started last Tuesday.

Tuesday morning I woke up feeling nauseated.  This isn't unusual for me during this pregnancy, in fact its usual. I took my trusty Zofran which now sits on my nightstand, beside my video baby monitor spying in on Beckett while he sleeps.  Usually, now that I'm in the second trimester and hopefully past the worst part of the nausea and all-day sickness, one Zofran works for most of the day. Occasionally I take two or three per day, but one is usually enough to cut it for a while. I took one...then two. Still felt sick.  Sometimes I have to remind myself that when I'm anxious or nervous about something, my body's first, natural reaction is almost debilitating nausea.  Its AWFUL.  I sucked it up, and tried to remember that there was nothing to be nervous about. My gender ultrasound appointment was going to be that evening at 6pm.  I had been counting down the days for this appointment. Literally. I kept a running tally of how many days I had left to wait in the excruciating agony of not being able to buy gender related baby items, either way.  Tuesday had arrived and I was WAY more anxious than I thought I'd be.

To be honest, I'm not sure what we did that day. The morning and afternoon activities were kind of a blur. I think we may have run some errands and stayed close to home.  We had to be back at the house by 3 to get the boys in bed for their nap time.  My mom was going to be over around 4:15 to stay with the boys so we could leave early. We were tucking the boys in bed, and I was telling Cash that when we got home that night, we would show him some pictures and a video of the baby, and we could tell him whether he was going to have another brother or a sister. He said, "I'm going to have a sister."  If I told you all of the little "psychic" things he's done since he was little I would have to make a whole other post.  He's weird like that. I'm weird like that and a few people in my family are weird like that.  He has said since I first found out I was pregnant that it was going to be a girl. I kissed him goodbye, and got ready to go.

Colt is good at calming me down. On our way down to the ultrasound place, we listening to our favorite radio show, talked, laughed and made our official "guesses" on the record.  We both thought it was going to be a girl. On our drive, I kept noticing little things, like a PSYCHO. There was a tree that had bloomed with big pink flowers even though everything else around it was almost dead. A few miles later, a big oleander bush with pink blossoms.  I know that it was purely coincidence, and I was over analyzing everything, but that's where my mind was at. We got down to Pinellas Park, where the place was located, about 30 minutes early, so we stopped at Starbucks for a drink. I figured it couldn't hurt for the baby to be awake and active during the scan.  I wanted him to start driving as soon as we got the drinks so we could be there on time, even though the place was about two blocks away and we still had 25 min to kill.  I felt better being in the parking lot. :) It was a good thing we did because we missed the turn and ended up being just slightly early.  We waited in the waiting room for our turn. On the front desk there was a keepsake display card for your ultrasound picture for sale. It said "IT'S A GIRL" at the top and had a picture of the "girl parts" inside the frame.  I told Colt, "If we see that, its a girl." We both chuckled nervously even though it wasn't really funny. We had never seen a girl ultrasound before. Then they called us back.

We walked into the dark room and I laid down on the table. As soon as the scan started, she was bouncing off the walls in there. The tech kept laughing at how active she was. I think the Starbucks Refresher I had beforehand must have helped spur her activity.  As soon as her little bottom came up on screen, I noticed that it looked very different from the boys' ultrasound pictures.  There was a little lump in between the legs, but nothing like the boys. My first thought was "ITS A GIRL," until we got another shot that looked a little bit different, and then I thought,  "This poor boy...I can never show him his ultrasound pictures because he'll compare it to his brothers." Haha! I asked the tech, "Its a boy, right? Does it look like a boy to you?" She said she wouldn't say anything until she was completely sure.  I thought to myself, "Ok...so you're going to wait ten more minutes and THEN tell me its a boy." She kept scanning between the legs and I noticed that when she would get a shot under the rear end, between the legs, there was nothing there. With the boys, that shot was the clearest of all that they were boys.  She said that at this stage in pregnancy, the girl parts can appear swollen, causing it to look like there is a bump between the legs, but it could also be a penis, or the umbilical cord, so she needed to do some further investigation. She kept looking at the shot from under the rear end.  From every angle under there, it looked like a girl.  Finally after about 10 minutes, she said she thought she was 100 % sure, but she was going to make sure her associate agreed with her.  They have a little paper or card of some sort next to the machine that they can see, but I can't. I'm assuming it says BOY/GIRL on it so they can point to it, and communicate with each other, coming to an agreement on the gender before actually announcing it to the parents. The other lady came in, she scanned me for about 5 minutes and got a very clear shot from under the rear end. There was no bump. For some reason it didn't completely connect with me what she was going to say. I remember thinking that it looked like a girl to me, but I couldn't discount that small bump we had seen earlier. I think I was about 60/40 thinking it was a girl. She paused the screen and put a small arrow pointing in between the legs where there were three little lines. She asked the other tech, "Is this what you were thinking," and pointed to the little card beside the machine. The other tech said, "Yep!" She said, "Yeah it doesn't get much clearer than that." Colt had both of our mothers (and the rest of my family), who were together, on the phone waiting with baited breath.  The technician typed "BG". For the millisecond that it was up on the screen, I thought to myself, "What does that mean?" Then "IT'S A GIRL" popped up on the screen. I could hardly believe it even thought "it" was literally starring me in the face.

My mother-in-law, Sharon, and my sister Emilee got some really good video footage of the moment. Colt said, "OOOOOHHHHHHHH, its a girl!" He was just as shocked as I was.  He handed me the phone, and I had teary eyes telling them how excited I was. If I didn't have that video I would have no idea what I was actually saying at that time, but I kept repeating, "This is so cool......This is SO cool." Both Colt and I were crying. The whole time that we were thinking it was a boy, even when I thought the technician was thinking it was a boy, she knew it was a girl. In all the shots with the "bump" we were actually looking at her swollen little girl parts, and the technician was double, triple, and quadruple checking to make sure she saw the three lines in detail of her lady business.

We left with a DVD of the whole ultrasound set to some sweet music that will completely make you cry in itself, and a CD of all the images. We got to share both with our family when we got home. Before we headed home, we made it a mini-date night by going to eat at Mitchell's Fish Market.

Now, over a week later it is just settling in that we're going to have a daughter. Her name will be Bellamy June Clark.  I have been busy collecting things for her room, and buying all things girl related that she'll need. I'm excited to use some of her brother's things with her too though. I think the boys will get a kick out of seeing her in a Captain America T-Shirt, and some DC shoes. :)

I'm 17 weeks tomorrow and starting to feel her move on a regular basis. I was laying on my side yesterday, and when I rolled back over, I saw a little lump on the side of my belly. When I touched it, she kicked really hard. I love this stage. I had my 16 week doctor appointment earlier this week, and they did another ultrasound to make sure everything looked good, since I hadn't had a diagnostic, measuring ultrasound yet. They confirmed she was a girl, and said she's measuring perfectly!

Well that's it for now I suppose. I'm waiting for the first coat of metallic paint to dry on the mirror I bought from Goodwill for her room. I think its time for a second coat! See ya!

"These Dreams"

So now we're at 14 weeks! Actually, 14 weeks, 4 days. 

Last week, on October 29th to be exact (because I'm a date/number freak), I felt this little miss/mister move for the first time. I had thought I may have felt him or her move a few times before that, but I wanted to make sure before I "called it".  We were driving under the on ramp to 75, in New Tampa heading to the new Cappy's for dinner.  It had been such a nice day. The four of us went to Busch Gardens during the day, came home and took a long nap, woke up, went to Cappy's for dinner and went to Twistee Treat for ice cream afterwards.  The boys were both in really good moods, and we laughed and joked with each other at Twistee Treat, "cheers-ing" our ice cream, and singing songs.  Feeling the fifth Clark kick me from inside my belly was the icing on the cake.

I still don't feel him or her super frequently, so its always exciting when I do. It seems to be really responsive to caffeine. I hate calling him or her, "it". Gross. I listened to the heartbeat again tonight, and it was around 157bpm.  It has stayed pretty steady at that point.

I have had several more dreams about having a girl since my last post about my crazy, pregnancy slumberland escapades.  Last night for instance, I had been going through my "Pregnant #3" photo album on my computer. I am one of those psychos that takes pictures of all the positive pregnancy tests that I get.  When we had been trying to get pregnant I was ordering cheap dip strip pregnancy tests off the internet in bulk. I think it was $15 for 15 tests or something like that.  Not a bad deal! Once we got a positive one, I had so many left, that I would still take one every morning just to watch the line get darker. Psychotic? Maybe. Fun? YES! Anyway, back to the dream. Before I went to bed, I was going through the photos I have taken of all things related to this pregnancy. A couple of the pictures were of the pregnancy tests with the increasingly darkening lines.  In my dream that night, I was taking pregnancy tests from Clearblue that not only told you if you were pregnant, but how far along, and what the gender was. If it was a boy, the test would turn blue and if it was a girl, well, obviously.  In this dream, I had taken five tests. All "PREGNANT", all pink! I don't want to read too much into any of this. In the previous pregnancies, I always said that once I had "the dream" hinting at the gender of the baby, I would think that's what I was having until I was told differently.  Both times, I dreamed that they were boys, and both times I was right. That being said, this time may be different.  I find myself wondering about the gender of this baby far more than with the others. Not necessarily because I would be disappointed one way or the other, but because of the unknown. I know what it is to be the mother of boys. I haven't a clue what its like raising a daughter. I don't know if the dynamic is different, or if she'll bond with me like my boys have. After talking to my friends with all same gender children, they all share the same feelings. You just don't know until you get there. All of this deep thought concerning boy or girl, could be contributing to my weird dreams.  Believe me, I have been using every psychological tool in my tool belt, from that BA in Psychology that is sitting on the shelf, to analyze these dreams.  ------  Great now I have lost my train of thought and am singing the lyrics to "These Dreams" by Heart in my head. But I digress.

We find out for sure next Tuesday, November 12th at 6pm. Hopefully he/she will cooperate and uncross his or her legs for us!

Talk to you soon!!!

14 weeks

The Grand Reveal

Well we went public! So glad that I don't have to watch what I say anymore. I never really care who knows, but I'm always worried that someone will find out from someone else I told and be upset that I didn't tell them first.  We had planned on a cuter annoucement including pictures of the boys, but I came down with a bad cold this week and didn't feel like taking the pictures, editing them etc. I'll post a picture of the "announcement" that we posted on Facebook below.

I was thinking today about some of the symptoms I've had during this pregnancy that seem to be different than my other two. Also, things that are are the same as my other pregnancies, but I had forgotten about.  I seem to be very sensitive to smells during this pregnancy, and I don't remember that with either of the boys.  With some scents, even lotions and things that I bought for myself before I got pregnant (scents I like), I can't stand now. I bought a fetal monitor when I was pregnant with Beckett, and I have enjoyed using it to hear the baby's heartbeat with this pregnancy too BUT I always feel a little bit queasy afterwards because I have to use lotion on my belly so the monitor moves smoothly. The lotion almost always makes me a little sick, even when I try different lotions.  Sometimes I enjoy a scent for a few minutes, but soon, it will make me sick too unfortunatly. I have also developed a little rash on my shoulders, top of my arms, chest and back. It feels like little bumps. I had it when I was pregnant with Cash too, and it lasted until I delivered.  I seem to be having less heartburn with this pregnancy then I did with my other two, so that's nice!

I have probably already covered these things in my previous posts, but I can't remember and I'm too lazy to go check.  PREGNANCY BRAIN! Never had it with the other two, and I have it A LOT with this baby. 

Thanks for checking in!

Here is the announcement!