Come...

This looks like peace to me. May we rest in God's peace this Christmas season!

I was brushing my teeth about an hour ago and all the sudden tears welled up in my eyes...i heard and felt something that was faint, but spoke loudly to my heart, that said "come spend time with me Hallie". I know it was there, it was so clear and i could choose to ignore it, wipe away my tears and continue to get ready for yet another Christmas party or i could come. I decided to come. I ran downstairs, grabbed my Bible and journal and went into my room, shut the door and sat on my bed.

To come before God in such a busy season as Christmas season has been very difficult. My lack of coming before God has been eaten away by parties, events, traveling, shopping, and just trying to crame as many visits in with my friends as possible along with spending time with my beautiful family and 3 precious nieces has been exhausting. My heart has been yearning for God, for more this Christmas time then running around, but for love, for peace, for hope. Dont get me wrong, all of these things are good and blessings to be very thankful for, i love parties and gatherings of my friends and family. I do love to be social, no doubt!!! But, as I can tell within my own heart and soul, its never enough. The void is never fully satisfied, the ache never goes away. No matter how loud i turn up my music in my car or how many people i can talk to on my phone to distract me from this longing, this ache in my heart doesnt go away. Sometimes to confront this ache or void is the hardest thing to do.

Why this ache? Why? My only conclusion is that we are truly made for somewhere else, for a place i cant even imagine in my wildest dreams, a place where we dwell with the living God, time is God, we are with Him all the time. There is no end. When I took time to stop today, turn my phone on silent and flip it over so I wouldnt be tempted to call someone or answer it, I had time to think. I sat on my bed, just sat, nothing to read, the t.v was turned off, I just had time to think of my life, what all that was going on and i began to cry.

I realized how many times I've been humbled to my knees like this before, more then i can ever count because my soul was thirsty. Thirsty like it was today. My heart was hard and tired, I was in need of time with my God.

Henri Nouwan, who wrote many books, but my favorite is Gracias! states that " Life without prayer weakens my spirit...at least i know the difference between days with ample time for prayer and days that are hurried and restless...nobody has to prove to me that prayer makes a difference. Without prayer I become irritable, tired, heavy of heart, and i lose the spirit who directs my attention to the needs of others instead of my own."

I need the Lord, I needed to come before Him in prayer in all honesty of how my life was going, I needed Him today to stir my soul and remind me once again that He is my life, I am His, and nothing and nobody can give me that peace that He promises to give in this life. He did just that today for me, thank you Lord for refocusing my life back to you. I was reminded again that He loves me even when im drowning myself in busyness, that He calls me daughter and beloved even when i continue to fill this void with all sorts of things. As tears streamed down my face uncontrollably as i sat on my bed, i realized that God loves me. I fail all the time and He loves me.

I also thought about how easy it was to take time to spend with my Lord in Africa. How i didnt have a cell phone to talk on, it was $5.00 a minute and you couldnt rely on internet because it was so flaky. All there was was time. I had hours in the morning to spend time reading and journaling. I realized that i can have that here, in Atlanta, in the midst of busy, i can CHOOSE to be slow, to take time. But, its hard. I love this city, the busyness, the lights, the colors, the things to do can be endless and the beautiful trees of Christmas, my family and friends are a joy to be with and i love every minute i get to spend with them.

Tears flowed even more when I thought of my babies at Cradle of Love. How I longed to walk in the front door and have them run like maniacs to greet me, kiss me, hug me, touch my face, play with the hair on my arms, smile at me, laugh with me, it was overwhelming. I even touched the empty side of the bed beside me thinking if only one of them were here right now, they would look at me so confused as to why i was crying and probably just stare at me with their big brown eyes and melt my heart as they always do. How i longed to be near one of them so badly. My heart was aching for their sweet touch. Children really are soothing to the soul.

I must tell you, im so very thankful, more then i can express to be able to have spent time with these babies in Tanzania. I love them with all my heart, i think of them all the time, i can always remember my time in Africa and smile. Maybe shed a few tears longing to have one sitting beside me if only for awhile. These times in Africa, I pray will continue to come to mind the rest of my life randomly so that i will never forget my time with God there and the love of 32 babies that touched my life and heart forever. I'm so very thankful.

I have no idea if anyone is reading this anymore since i havent posted in so long, but maybe this is just for me to get off my chest. So, if that is true, then i'll just have it lifted off my shoulders, but if people are still checking it, then i just wanted to say Choose to come. Its hard, but come to God this season of the birth of Christ, the best gift of all, the most beloved and precious gift ever given in the history of the world is to be celebrated this month and always. let us be thankful. John 14:27 "PEACE i leave with you; my peace i give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Cradle of Love, Zanzibar, and Rwanda!!!!!

This is the sign right outside the gate of Cradle of Love.

This is Cradle of Love, front view.

This is my "Bubba" and me...he loved taking on and off my headband for hours:)





This is Corey hugging little baby Neema Jane!


This is "Bubba" and me...I mean, I love this little man!

"Bubba" again and me...I couldn't get enough pictures with him obviously!

This is PRECIOUS Yasini!! It was water day at Cradle of Love and all the babies had the best time EVER! There was a hose and little sprinkler...they loved it!

This is "Bubba" loving the water hose!

Yasini and Maria playing in the water tub!

Ok, so, all the babies bathing suits were too big on them and they would just continously loose their suits, as you can see! It was hilarious and there were so many little naked bottoms running around, it was precious!!!!

Fun in the sun!

Baby Rebecca just chillin and gettin some rays!

ZANZIBAR!!!!!!!!!

Beaches of Zanzibar, Kendwa Beach!

Pretty picture!

Sunset view from the hammock I was lounging in! PARADISE!

KIGALI, RWANDA!!! The city of a thousand hills!

This is the front entrance to one of the churches were the Rwandan Genocide took place, where thousands of people were killed. If you look closely you can see the skulls and bones on the racks to the right. It truly was heartbreaking and overwhelming.
A view of Rwanda.

A window of one of the churches of the Rwandan Genocide.

This is a picture of the side of the church where granades would be thrown in the windows of the churchs to get people out to be killed. You can also see the piles of bloody clothes from the victims.

NEW HOPE!!! This is the teacher of the children we met at New Hope organization in Rwanda. She was a precious and Jesus-loving woman!

The future of Rwanda! The CHILDREN!! This is Peace and Isaac. Peace has a presence unlike any child I've ever known. She radiates confidence, beauty, and peace! The little boy Isaac is brilliant, loving, and a silent leader in the classroom.

This is Doreen, on the left, and Alice, on the right. They are both 4 years old and ADORABLE! Alice has a laugh that is to die for, its like a continous giggle! Doreen has a smile that would melt the coldest heart and loves to HUG!!!!!!

The Hills are Alive...

  Rwanda. A country exploding with beauty and love, but still in the process of much healing. This country suffered a Genocide, a wiping out of a tribe called the Tutsi's. The hills were covered in 1994 with over 800,000 dead bodies that were shot, mutilated, macheted, raped, and tortured in the worst ways imaginable for 100 days. In my life, I don't think I've ever felt so close to so much sadness as when I entered a church, where thousands of people crowded in for refuge in April of 94', only to be slaughtered and their lives stripped from them. It was so overwhleming, I found myself having trouble breathing as I looked around at the mounds of bloody clothes, thousands of skulls that lay stacked up on metal bars, and too many bones to even start to count that had been kept there in remembrance of the victims of the Genocide. As I touched ever so slightly a remaining cross necklace from a victim that was hanging there on the metal bar, I couldn't help but think to myself, "I bet they thought their God would save them". It was an overload of the heart feeling so much pain and the thought of the evil that runs through this world is almost too much to bare. I was burdened, I was sad, I felt hopeless, my faith felt small. But, at the exact time of this feeling of evil reigns was a stirring deep in my soul that spoke loudly, there is a God, He brings justice, He is real, and He has the victory, it is Finished. No matter what I was feeling or how baffled I was that this could actually happen to innocent people, I was also comforted that God was with each of them, each victim that took their last breath. He was there. He never left. I don't get it at all, but I know that my God knows all and I can rest that this is not our "home" as a believer and surely my God reigns!

     Ok, that was a bit heavy I know, but if I didn't mention that part of my experience in Kigali, Rwanda then I would've skipped out on a huge chunk of my taste of this country.

   Well, I was in Kigali, Rwanda for two weeks and just got back to Arusha yesterday. They call Kigali "The city of a thousand hills" because it is surrounded by these gorgeous, huge, rolling hills. It is one of the most beautiful city's I've ever seen!!! It blew me away! Heath and I got to zoom all through the city on "moto's". They are motorcycle taxi's that are cheap to ride on, but you better believe I prayed every time I hopped on one, during the ride, and thanked God once more when I got to my stop! The only thing that made me a bit nervous about them were the duck-taped helmets they would hand us. Literally, they were duck-taped to keep the busted helmet together, why it was cracked, I don't even want to know. But, obviously, Heath and I still rode them everyday and it was so fun!!!  

     I must say that most of the beauty that I found in Rwanda was the children that Heath and I lived with for the first week we were there. We stayed at a home for orphans ranging from newborn to 8 years old. It is called New Hope and it was such an amazing week! These children were older then at Cradle of Love, so it was really different to be able to communicate with them, play soccer, watch Ice Age, sing, dance, and encourage them with their work in school. I absolutely fell in love once again with the children of Africa. They are lovely! Heath and I went to their school everyday and sat with them. They are so smart, beautiful, funny, and so talented. One of my favorite memories with them were walking back from school with one on each hand singing songs and skipping. I mean, what could be better! Also, they love to dance! So, I kind of found that I would fit really well with this crowd of kids because if you know me, you know I love to dance! We would dance to African music and watch music videos on T.V. It was hysterical to watch these little people buggie and see that they actually had alot of rhythm even at age 4!!!  

   So, my conclusion in what I think about Rwanda is that, "THE HILLS ARE ALIVE"...they are alive with laughter, restoration, healing of unity, love, respect, and many smiles. This city was remarkable, but only because I ventured into its history and played with the future of Rwanda, the children. It is a bright city with far to go, but I pray that the hills will NEVER AGAIN be covered with innocent blood, but with the healing of humanity that only God can reach out and mend!  

  Much love to each of you!! I will be home on November 13th and only have 5 more days in beautiful Africa...see ya'll soon, love Hallie

Some pictures of the babes!!

This is Joshua, my "Bubba", taking a tubby!!

Is he not the cutest thing you've ever seen!!!!

He could totally play GA football, look at those arms:)

This is precious Helena! I wrote about her below in a post.

She is just GORGEOUS and such an alert baby!!!

This is the birthday party we had for 4 of our babies!

From right is Michael, Hope, Lazaro, and Brian.

Hope and Lazaro are twins!

They LOVED their birthday cake!!

This is my sweet buddy Lawrence! I brought him upstairs

just to say HI to the girls and ofcourse, give him a cookie!!!

I would take him home in a heartbeat!!!

My time here at Cradle of Love has come to an end...

Oh goodness, i dont know where to begin...im actually starting to cry right now as i write to you how sad i am about leaving this beautiful baby home that has been my home for 3 months...today, we have been cleaning up the apartment and packing up. It has been so sad, but we are all confident that we will be back to see all these precious babies and the loving nanny's!!!
i mean, i really dont know how to describe this experience ive had...my life has forever been changed by this place, the baby home and Africa in general...the people have touched my heart, the children have loved me, and i have seen a different culture that ive forever been blessed to live in these past few months...i have to praise God for this opportunity, all the safe travels, His presence, His faithfulness, His comfort and peace at times that i most needed both:) He also drew me to Himself here in a way that i cant describe really...He has opened my eyes to see a part of the world that is poor, but yet, so rich with His presence...He is close to the broken, i have no doubt...He is so amazing and i feel overwhelmed with blessings right now...God is good.
I have to say playing with the babies yesterday was so special because i guess i know im leaving and i just looked at them differently...i really looked at them and had so much joy loving them, as i have everyday...i had quality time with my Joshua, nickname Bubba, that was so sweet, he just sat on my lap for over an hour, we just laughed, hugged, giggled, and loved each other...i also had time to spend with Maria, nickname Big Maria, that was so fun! She is just so funny, reckless, silly, and really disobedient at times, but i just ADORE her...i had memorable times with all of them the past few weeks, but just yesterday was special!!
i will never forget stepping outside of our apartment frontdoor and looking down to the most beautiful babies ive ever seen and having them just scream with delight that we were coming down to play...it is a blessing to work here and to love and be loved!
i could go on forever about each baby, so, if you want to see each of them and know all about them, i will be more then happy to show and tell you hahahaha...i love them!
I want to also thank you all so much for all your prayers, encouragement, and love sent from all of you to way out here in Africa! Thank you for supporting me to come here financially, it was an opportunity of a lifetime and im forever thankful!
ok, before i have a breakdown, i must end this post, but this is what im up to now...we leave tomorrow morning to go stay with friends until the 4 of us will split up and go different directions. Heath and i leave for Kigali, Rwanda Oct. 24th till Nov. 7th and then i will get on a plane to come home on November 13th!!!
tonite, we all go to a going away party for our friend Patty, but before we leave, we will all go downstairs in about an hour to give many kisses, hugs, and love to our babies of Cradle of Love! We will kiss them goodnite at 7pm and say "Lala Salama angels", which means goodnite in Swahili, and try not to soak them with my tears...
i love yall, i cant wait to see each of you, and again, thank you for everything, Much love, hal...hopefully, i will be able to write one last blog after Rwanda and put pictures up, ive been so bad about that, i apologize...much much love to you all!!!

My heart was beating so fast...

This morning, we pulled up to a hut made of mud and sticks, filthy children crowded around, women cooking, and a 90 year old woman desperately wanting to give her grandchildren a good life when she leaves this world.
This is the experience i had just a few hours ago. I have a new friend named Meredith from Ohio. She has been in the adopting process for over a year now and her dreams of getting a Tanzanian baby are coming true. She will go to the delivery room Monday morning to get her baby from a woman who wants to give her baby a wonderful life. Meredith is thrilled beyond words! The mother, Stella, and her husband want the best for their child and they know they cant give their baby that since they both have AIDS, no job, and no money.
Well, today Meredith had to take another little girl Helena, who is from Cradle of Love, who she wants to adopt as well to get tested for the HIV virus again because we think the results were not very accurate. Also, Meredith wanted to get these 2 other children tested for AIDS because she told the grandmother she would help out with finding them a home or orphanage before she passes away.
So, we went to see a woman of 90 years old with 2 grandchildren and no parents or relatives we know alive. In the car to the clinic is Heath, Meredith, Helena, Emmanuel, Opportune, Odou, and me.
First, we got Helena dressed here at Cradle of Love and took off to the home of the grandmother. We pulled up and got out to greet the family and friends around with hugs and kisses. We piled everyone in the car and rushed to the clinic. We were testing Emmanuel (6 year old boy), Opportune(3 year old girl), and baby Helena(4 months old).
They are the most beautiful children ive seen!! Ofcourse, i say that alot these days:) but, really, they are gorgeous and there is something SO special about Emmanuel, they call him Ema!
He is gentle and has a quiet spirit. He is a precious little boy who smiles like an angel! He is so kind and respectful, a little man of few words, but so pleasant to be around! I got to have him ride in my lap as we took them to get their blood drawn and he held my hand the whole way. It was so such a special time for me!
Ok, so, i must say, my heart was pounding as i sat there in the clinic room with 3 children waiting to see what their future may hold by one test result. I was freaking out, praying in my head, tears right behind my eyelids and at any moment would come streaming down my face. Emmanuel was sitting on my lap as they pricked his little finger. It was terrible to watch, but i just kept praying, "God, i pray that this little boy does not have the virus!" I just kept praying over and over again in my head. I also found myself doing that for Opportune and Helena as well!! Both of the little girls just cried so hard. Opportune was sitting on Heath's lap while they drew blood. Oh, it broke my heart!!! Sweet baby Helena didnt like it at all either, can you blame her, i still get a bit nervous when i get my finger pricked!!! It was so sad, the pain of watching, but more so, the results that may hold little hope for these 3 precious babies!!
As we waited in the lobby of this clinic for the results, there were people all around and babies getting tested for all sorts of things. We were all pretty quiet just waiting to hear what the test results would be. The doctor called back Meredith to talk with her. We sat there waiting anxiously. I saw her come out of the office and perked up a bit. She came to say that both Emmanuel and Opportune were NEGATIVE!!! Oh, it was such a wonderful, priceless, and joyful moment in time!!! I was so happy my eyes started to water. Ofcourse, both the children had no idea why we were all hugging them and smiling and crying, they just sat their smiling too:)
Meredith said that baby Helena is still testing positive, but that the doctor said she is too young to really know for sure whether she is HIV positive until she gets to be more like 10 months. So, we will keep praying!! The doctor said she seems very healthy and not showing any signs of the virus yet that he has seen. So, there is HOPE!
Lord, thank you for children! Thank you that they are beams of light for us to watch and love on and to enjoy even holding their hands! I thank you so so so much for the lives of Emmanuel, Opportune, and Helena. They are just precious in your sight and ours. I ask for a bright and wonderful future in store for all 3 of them!! I thank you for the negative results for both Ema and Opportune and I continue to ask for baby Helena to also not contract the Virus. I pray for miracles done by your hands, for hope, and to find joy in you alone when this world seems so hopeless and terribly sad at times. Amen.
Many blessings to you all, LOVE Hallie

This is Africa...

SOOOO, let me begin with our apartment flooded one inch, thankfully no computers or cameras were destroyed...immigration wants like 12 things of paperwork from us, and we are now filling in for 3 nannys on maternity leave!!
ahhhhhhh...things just are overwhelming right now, but we all thought chocolate chip cookies would ease the pain, so, we got to work on that last nite, in the dark, no electricity, which happens WAY too often:) and it was hilarious!!! Christy and Heath were measuring out all the ingredients for the cookies while i did dishes by candle-light...it was a nite to remember!!!
i must say, the babies were so funny last nite!! they all get a snack at 6:30pm before bed to keep their tummies full till morning and last nite they got boiled eggs. i was holding little Neema in my lap as she devoured her egg and got half of it on me, which the smell was very overwhelming hahahaha...but, they were just loving life running around chasing one of our nannys around and giggling...i just watch them! they are so funny to just stare at and try to think, what is going on in their little minds. i only wish i could take them all home with me and raise them to be Georgia fans hahahaha!!!
well, i will be leaving Cradle of Love on October 24th to head to Kigali, Rwanda for 2 weeks. I'm thrilled about this trip and cant wait to explore this country!! i will be visiting orphanages and schools around the city. i ask you to pray for safe traveling for Heath and me. Also, Christy and Steph will be headed to South Africa for adventures of their own. So, the four of us will split, which is so sad because we all have really loved being together and are used to 4 not 2!! so, pray pray pray for all of us, thank you!!!!!
I will keep updating my adventures here in Africa and i miss yall so much, thank you for reading, MUCH LOVE, Hal