Just returned from the Farmers' Market with my weekly bouquet of flowers for the girls. The flowers were wrapped in newspaper and I couldn't help but read, and share.
*Edited to add: I'm sure her parents had their reasons for not telling her. I don't think it's necessarily her right to know. Perhaps if the parents had grief counseling at the time of their loss, they would have been better equipped to deal with how to tell their youngest daughter. Not telling her also put pressure on the other siblings and didn't let them talk about or connect with the memory of their angel brother.
2 comments:
What an interesting letter, and how amazing that you came across it!
I don't know what I think other than this is a perfect example of why family secrets almost always do more harm than good. I know that I hope to find a way to let my daughter know about her heavenly brother and sister that doesn't burden her.
This answer is certainly better than what she gave a while ago to the coworkers of a bereaved mother. But it still annoys me-- obviously there is a lot to say if the mother is still crying 11 years later. You think maybe there are things to say about what it's like to suddenly see double when looking at the surviving twin? Or to look at twins on the street? Or any of the thousands of little things that have been painful over the years? Or things that have brought sweet memories? Not much to say my ass.
And it is strange-- the girl was about 3 when the babies were born. If they decided to keep it from her then, it must've been very hard on them to not show their feelings. And it couldn't have been easy on the older brother either.
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