Welcome to our adoption blog. Please leave us comments so we know you were here. We need all the prayers and support we can get and if you don't leave comments we won't know you care. Thanks! We love you all! ~The Oldenkamp Family
Seattle is very diverse and we've found a few stores that sell a lot of stuff from all over, Peru, Nepal, Kenya etc. One shop only had a couple items from Ethiopia and they were quite expensive but beautiful. Here's a couple pictures I found that look similar to what we saw today.
Processional crosses, so named because they ware held above the heads of the crowds in church processions.
Hand cross- Every ethiopian priest holds a hand Cross that he's constantly carrying with him. He is putting the Cross on the forehead of the believers and they are kissing the Cross.
The two crosses we found were $150 and $225. One was a hand cross and the other was a processional cross. They were quite amazing. We found a few places online to buy these sorts of Ethiopian crosses that are not quite as expensive as this store was. We are excited to start getting some Ethiopian art and clothing.
A couple of weeks ago we announced in church that we are adopting. A family we didn't know too well approached us after the service and invited us over for dinner. Come to find out, Scott and his brothers with their parents spent a lot of years living in Ethiopia as missionaries. If I understood correctly I think 2 or 3 of their 5 boys were born in Ethiopia. The parents don't live their any longer. When we had dinner with Scott and Janet's family Scott's parents were also there and his brother who now lives in Germany. They made us wonderful Ethiopian food!! We didn't take pictures there but I found a some pictures on the internet that resemble what we ate.
The silverware we used was called Injera. I guess the kind we had was fairly Americanized because in Ethiopia they let it set out for days from what I understand. It just has a different look to it. But here's what ours kinda looked like: A recipe I found online: Ingredients: 2 cups all-purpose flour 2 cups lukewarm water 2 tsp active dry yeast 1/4 tsp baking powder salt to taste 2 Tbsp canola oil
They made Dora Wat. In this picture it was more like the back portion rather the the front with peas. Here is a recipe I found online:
Ingredients
2-3 lbs. chicken 9 oz. tomato paste 3 sticks of butter 10 hard-boiled eggs 3 lbs. onions, finely chopped 2 large garlic cloves, minced 1 tsp. of ground black pepper 3 heaping tbsp. of berbere
It was a very unique dish but tasted amazing.
Another dish they made was Cabbage and Potato Aliche
Ingredients 1/2 medium cabbage, coarsely chopped 4 potatoes, peeled and cut into chunks 1 medium yellow onion, diced 1/2 tsp turmeric powder 1 tsp paprika 1/2 tsp five spice powder (OR, 1/4 tsp nutmeg) salt to taste 2 Tbsp canola oil
We got to ask them a lot of questions we had and it was so exciting to hear about Ethiopia and their culture. We learned that the kids are named very meaninful names. The name might have something to do with where they were born, what was going on when they were born, the season they were born in etc. We also found out that most of the boys have their heads shaved except a little tuff of hair in the front. This is for their guardian angel to snatch them up if they are in trouble or harm. Interesting! They shared a slideshow of pictures with us that was very moving. The country is beautiful and the children adorable. Some of the pictures of the country looked a bit like the monument except green. Anyway, it was a wonerful evening. We're even more excited then before.
Joy to the world Let heaven and nature sing Let heaven and nature sing
Now Jonnie never got his wish on December 25 That's what he said when he left the orphanage 9 years old, but Jonnie was an old soul Gonna spend his first Christmas in a real home Showed me a picture that he drew the night before Was a picture of a man standin' outside a door I asked him who it was and he said someone I only see in dreams Comforts me when I cry myself to sleep Father of the fatherless Be with your sons and daughters this Christmas This Christmas Believe in angels? Jonnie asked me starin' at the sky I said I do and saw a sparkle in his eye Big brother for the weekend respondin' to the season Took the chance that givin's better than recievin' Two nights, a new family, some holiday cheer We laughed and sang Came on a midnight clear We gave, recieved, and as we headed to close We looked to the heavens and it started to snow Down blessings Father of the fatherless Be with your sons and daughters this Christmas (You ain't livin' til you choose to give love and joy and peace to one of His) Father let us not forget The children who are all alone this Christmas (You ain't livin' til you choose to give, you ain't livin' til You choose to give) (James 1:27) Religion that God our Father Accepts as pure and faultless is this To look after orphans and widows in their distress Merry Christmas everyone Joy to the world The Lord is come Let heaven and nature sing Let heaven and nature sing Let heaven and nature sing Let heaven and nature sing Believe in angels Jonnie asked me starin' at the sky I said I do and saw a sparkle in his eye 9 years old, but Jonnie was an old soul Gonna spend is next Christmas in a real home
So our home study is done. . .except . . . we have to read a book and write a little paper on it. I ordered it online because the local libraries didn't have it. So, we're waiting for it to arrive and then we'll try to sail through it and hopefully get it done before the end of the month. Then we have a couple months of waiting on the USCIS stuff before the dossier (tons of paperwork) is sent to Ethiopia. We're getting so close to being done. Phew!
We met with our social worker last Wed. to proof read the home study. It was ALL about us. We had to make any corrections needed. The only other piece she needed was Dave's physical report. When we went in for our physicals a while back he forgot to go back in 48 hours later to have his BP test checked. He just kept forgetting but finally got it all done last week. Once she gets that she can send the HS to the state for approval.
Now there are other pieces we need for Bethany Christian Services to be able to send the HS onto US Citizen Imigration Services. So, we are cramming on our training which is the last step. Once it's off to USCIS it could take them 2 months to approve it. While we wait we will work on our dossier documents which will be sent to Ethiopia after USCIS approves us. We're getting there. . . YEAH!
We're home from two 8 hour days of adoption training. We were nervous about it cause he had to take Gabriel with us. He's fairly high maintenance compared to Liam at this age. He doesn't always nap well in other places. SO, we just didn't know how the weekend would go. Gabriel did fabulously well!! He napped in his pak'n'play in a little office during our training and never even cried before falling asleep. All the other couples loved him. He was a very good boy. We went back to the hotel and got A LOT of rest. We were all asleep by 9:45. I know, we are old fogies now. LOL We had a long week this past week with house sitting for some people and taking care of their three teenagers and 6 year old. We NEEDED the sleep.
The training was great. A lot of it wasn't very applicable to us as it was about domestic adoption and about getting a baby at birth. Things are very different when it's a domestic adoption vs. adoption international like us.
One big difference is whether or not you can meet the birth mom. With domestic you get to choose if you want it an "open adoption", "semi-open adoption" or "closed adoption". These terms refer to the level of involvement the birth mother will have in the life of the child. We learned that in a lot of ways it's a GOOD thing to allow some involvement. This minimizes your child growing up with hard questions and someday going to search for their birth mother. I think most of the other couples in this training came thinking they would want it as closed as possible but they left today feeling like openess is the best choice.
After this training I realized that it will be difficult that we may not know anything about our baby's birth parents. We may never know what they looked like, health history, their story. We may have no answers to the questions our little one might have. I know the Lord will work through those things and offer healing to our baby in other ways. He is good! He is in control!
We are SOOOO close to being able to finish our home study. We need to finish our online training (we should get it done this week), Dave needs to get back to the doctor for his BP test so his physical can be complete, we need to meet with our social worker one more time, and we need to read a book and write a short paper on it.
Greetings, Came across this passage this morning in my sermon prep. Thought of you guys.
Rob
Ps 68:4-6
4 Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds — his name is the LORD — and rejoice before him. 5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. 6 God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land. NIV
So, we heard from Bethany Christian Services that there are some worries about the program. I guess a lot of the American families are taking their new Ethiopian babies/kids out shopping and staying in hotels while in Ethiopia and Ethiopian citizens aren't happy.
Given that the vast majority of American and European families adopting from Ethiopia are Caucasian or other non-black, the adoptive families and their Ethiopian child are easily distinguished and are often a point of curiosity among Ethiopian citizens. Understandably, due to misconceptions about adoption some Ethiopian citizens even look upon American and European adoptive families with suspicion. Cultural differences in parenting and child behavior are contributing to this suspicion.
It's a cultural thing so I don't totally understand it. The locals are complaining to the government. So, Agencies are asking that adoptive parents stay in guess houses and not take their babies/kids out in the local shopping centers. Some families are not following these recommendations and are jeopardizing the program.
Please pray that this will get worked out, that families will be sensitive to the culture and that the program will continue to thrive. They are expecting over 3000 adoptions out of Ethiopia this year. That would be amazing for these kids who need forever families.
sigh. . . it's a lot of reading. Dave and I have to do the training on separate computers but we're doing it side by side cause they recommend that. We had to print a bunch of articles that we're required to read and it's probably around 100 pages. The hard part is that they assume you know nothing about adoption. Since we've educated ourselves a lot so far most of the training is old news. So, it's a little tedious. I know it's important though so we press on.
I was thinking about our baby today wondering if he or she is born yet. Wondering if he/she is alive today, how are they doing? Are they in a good and safe place? Are they in the orphanage yet? I get so excited when I think about the first moment I lay eyes on God's gift to us! The day our baby is united to his or her forever family! What a glorious moment!!
I remember our social worker asking me during my one on one interview if I was excited (about the adoption, obviously). Of course I said 'yes'. She then proceeded to tell me to pace myself. Right now a lot of the time line is in our hands. We're working on the Home Study training. We are doing a 8 to 10 hour online course and have finished maybe 20 minutes of it. It's tough because Dave's taking correspondence classes to get his Masters and it's hard for me to ask him to set aside that home work to do the adoption home work. So, I just don't know how long it'll take to finish. But then we also have a couple in person classes we have to take. We need a total of 24 hours. I don't know if that'll be in town or in Denver. Who knows. Anyway, my point it that right now we have a little control. Kendra reminded me that once the dossier (all the paper work) is sent to Ethiopia then it's out of our hands and only God knows how long we'll have to wait. So, I must pace myself. I want to keep posting on this blog but I just don't have any news. I must keep my head above water or I might go crazy.
Today I got to talk with a few friends about the adoption. They hadn't heard the news so they were excited and asking a lot of questions! I can tell when someone asks questions because they are simply unsure of what else to say or how to react. These dear friends were very obviously thrilled and asking questions only because they truly wanted to know the details. Numerous times they said they were so happy for us and thought it was wonderful. I need to talk with people like them to keep my spirits lifted. It's so different when my belly isn't growing. People don't 'notice' when we make progress towards the day we are united with our baby. Some people just have a hard time grasping the 'why?' in our choice to adopt. No one ever asked us, "why did you get pregnant?" when we announced Liam or Gabriel were on the way.
please make sure you've read my post on October 5th otherwise this one will not make sense. :-)
Yesterday in church there was a couple visiting from Kenya. They are staying with Thom and Shari who are the ones who started the orphanage in Kenya. Keith, who's American, shared some prayer needs. He introduced his wife. Her name is GRACE.
Dave and I had our one on one interviews with Kendra today. Painless. She asked a lot about our childhoods and our siblings and parents. I felt like I was just telling a story. Anyway, the crazy thing is that she is going to give our home study approval for TWO. Yes, that would be two kids if twins might end up needing a home WE would have the option of adopting two without having to go back and do everything over again. This is what she said, "You never know what God has in store for you guys."
WOW! We just got done meeting with our social worker, Kendra. She was a very nice lady and very excited for us. We thought this meeting was just to talk about what would happen during the home study. Well, we're in the middle of talking about 'why Ethiopia", 'what age child', 'family traditions', 'square footage' etc when she says "we'll go ahead and do the inspection today and then we should only have to meet two more times. WHAT? we felt there was a lot of things we needed to get done before we were comfortable with having the inspection done. So, we warned her that there were a couple things we knew we needed to do (put up a banister in the stair case and get fire extinguishers). She was so cool about everything and just told us to get them done soon. i asked if she'd need to come back to check on us and she said, "nope." Then she told us the only other things we need to do as far as her involvement is concerned is for both Dave and I to meet with her one on one for an interview. We set up both interviews for THIS Monday! Then we're done with our social worker. Isn't that incredible?! We still have to do our 8 hours of online training and I think there's a couple classes we need to attend before the HS is approved. Bonnie thought we might be done by the end of Nov. but at this rate we could be done a lot sooner.
As you know, we are not requesting a specific gender. We know God has a baby for us and just like with Liam and Gabriel, it wasn't up to us what gender our kids would be. We had a girl's name picked out when we were expecting Liam. We changed our minds and picked out a new name when we were expecting Gabriel. We also have a couple other boy names picked out. However, we have NO idea if we'll even want to use these names as our baby will probably have a name. I know a lot of people will change the baby's name to an American name, others might give them a new first name and make their given name their middle name. I don't know what we'll do. I don't think we'll even be able to think about that until we see a picture of our baby and know the gender and name. However . . . a very dear friend gave me this black angel as a gift today. It brightened my day (after my last post). Adoption is dear to her heart too. Anyway, as I walked over to my wall (where I display all my Willow Tree figurines) I looked at the bottom of this angel. It is called "The Angel of Grace". Hmmm, Grace? I looked at Dave before placing the angel in it's spot and said, "Maybe this is a sign. Maybe our baby is a girl and we should name her Grace." Dave smiled and said, "I like that name."
I don't have any news. As I shared the home study starts next week. That's exciting. I just have been struggling a bit with my emotions. We decided not to share the news with Dave's family until we can do it face to face which will be in December. I imagined a huge announcement and a million friends and family over joyed with us about this whole adoption. It's been anticlimactic to say the least. A lot of people know but not everyone. I think we'll start to share with our small group and my ladies Bible study as now we're getting into where we'll need prayer. But I am reluctant for some reason. God laid adoption on our hearts and most people don't have the same passion about it that we do. I am trying to prepare myself for a lot of "whys" and a lack of enthusiasm. I am praying that somewhere through out this journey we'll run into someone who is SO stinkin' excited for us that they read this blog religiously and ask us about the journey on a regular basis. May God bless my heart with that. I have been feeling a little lonely in this whole thing for some reason. Don't get me wrong, Dave is super excited about it but I am doing everything. I make the phone calls, fill out the paper work etc etc. He's working full time and taking correspondence classes. He has no time to dedicate to the adoption stuff right now. Which is ok, cause I can get it done. But I find myself thinking about it all the time knowing Dave (and everyone else in my life) has other things consuming their thoughts.
Anyway, there's my heart right now. Please pray for me.
The lady who worked for the local Bethany branch moved and I assume no one has filled her spot. We were excited to have a local contact with Bethany and that's part of the reason we chose them. So, it's a bit disappointing that we can't work with Deone. Anyway, We got a call today from a social worker. She was contacted by Bethany but does not work for Bethany. She seemed very nice on the phone which was a relief. For some reason I had a picture in my head of what social workers would be like if they weren't working for a Christian company. I think Kendra will be good though (from what I felt through our phone call conversation). She said the state requires she have four meetings with us. Two will be with us as a couple and the other two meetings will be one on ones with only Dave or myself and Kendra. We set up the first meeting for Oct. 8th. I am excited and nervous. It'll be so nice to get it moving though.
Oh,it's not set in stone yet but we most likely will be changing our child's age preference to 1 year or younger instead of 2 or under. We heard that 4 families recently got referrals for 4 baby boys all under 5 months. I asked about the wait time and was told that it doesn't seem the wait for younger kids is any longer.
I just thought I would drop in for a quick second. We are still waiting on a reference to get sent back before Bonnie can send everything to the local social worker. After that we can start the home study. I hope this is within the next couple weeks. I'm anxious.
So, I've been talking with Liam a lot about different colors of skin. We got a bunch of books from the library like The Colors of Us and Please, Baby, Please. Liam loves these books. We asked him if he wanted a new brother or sister and he said 'yes'. I asked him if he wanted a brown baby and again he said, 'yes'. So yesterday we had a couple from church over for dinner. They didn't know yet we were adopting and Dave asked Liam, "Do you want a new brother or sister?" And he responded with a huge smile and said, "A brown Baby!" He ran and found his Please, Baby, Please book and showed the couple the baby on the cover and said, "That's a brown baby!" It was so cute! I think he's really understanding and excited! He can quote the whole book and we've only had it a couple days. My camera died so I couldn't get him reading the whole book but you can catch him saying, "Not on your head", "Keep off the wall", "Share that ball" "Don't be so slow"
We are starting our home study in Oct. WOOHOO!! Bonnie thinks we could have it all done by the end of Nov.
This all gets a bit confusing so instead of putting it into my own words, here's the email:
The completed, approved home study report is sent to Adoption Alliance for approval (a week) and then with the packet to USCIS. I understand the USCIS process in Colorado is several months. Once approved by USCIS, the state seals need to be ordered (a two week process?) - and then the dossier can be mailed to me to review (I always try to do that the day it is received, sometimes it is 2 days), then sent to our National office for review (done within a few days), they send to the Ethiopian Consulate in Washington D.C. (two weeks?) and then it is mailed to Ethiopia.
So, if my calculations are right we could be done and waiting for our baby's referral sometime early 2009 (maybe by spring).
Due to the security of the Ethiopian orphanage I needed to take down the link to the video I mentioned in this post. However, if you are still interested in watching it (it's seriously beautiful!) email me and I can send you the link. I just can't put it on the Internet.
This made me cry with such joy. I literally was sitting here sobbing as I watched this video. It is an American family in Ethiopia (where we're going!) picking up their baby boy and meeting him for the very first time. It's powerful!!
So, Ethiopia is a fairly new program for Bethany Christian Services. I think they've only been doing it for close to a year. Anyway, we just got this email which I thought was SOO exciting!!
Hi All!!
Have you read the Ethiopia Blog?? http://www.bethany.org/blogs/ethiopiablog.nsf If you have, you would see that we received four referrals last week!! To say that we are thrilled for the families and children is an understatement. Four healthy baby boys, all under 5 months old were matched for their forever families. We pray for their health and care as they are in the Bethany transition home awaiting their adoption processing.
Another note of celebration is that we've had 8 children join their forever families (6 families), and one more forever family will be joined this week! What a joy it has been to see the program continue to blossom and children be blessed!
Thank you Father for Your blessings for the children and families we are able to serve in our Ethiopia Program. Alison Adema Bethany Christian Services Program Coordinator for: Ethiopia, Hong Kong, Korea, Philippines
I was thinking the other day about being able to love our new child as much and the same way as I love the two boys I carried and gave birth to. It's so hard to know how it will be possible but I know God will give me the love I need to do it. I know without a doubt that this new child will be one of us. An Oldenkamp. This child will be loved and adored. I want to cry with joy every time I think about going to Ethiopia and meeting our little boy or girl for the first time. It makes me over whelmed with emotion. I try to imagine what the first meeting will be like and how old our little one will be. I imagine bringing him or her home to meet the boys and wonder what that will be like.
We have a friend who painted a picture of Liam as a baby and she's now doing one of Gabriel. I asked her if she could paint one of our new baby and she said she's never painted black skin but would love to try. It will be a beautiful painting. I just can't wait to know what this little boy/girl will look like.
So I was reading this article on the NY Times site. It was called "Overcoming Adoption Racial Barriers".
The following little paragraph broke my heart. I know we will see some of this and we have to prepare ourselves. It just makes me sad that kids have to go through
Judy Stigger, a counselor at the Cradle (an agency in Chicago) and herself a white adoptive mother of two black children, now adults, makes the issues tangible to prospective parents by relating personal stories. She tells about the time when her son, then a teenager, reached into her purse at a McDonald’s and a clerk called security; and the time when her daughter began crying while looking through congratulatory cards sent by family and friends when they took her home. “Was I supposed to have been white?” her daughter, then in the third grade, asked. Ms. Stigger had never noticed that the children on all of the cards were white.
I found this on a different adoption blog and thought it was really neat. The lady who wrote it has adopted 4 kids from Ethiopia and two from Korea!
Four things about adoption
Four things I thought about adoption when I was a child-- >I imagined it might be cool to be adopted by someone really rich (you know, in those moments when my mom wouldn't spring for those Calvins I had my eye on) >I imagined what I'd do if someone left a baby on my doorstep >I couldn't understand how anyone would ever be able to relinquish a child >I thought it might be neat to adopt a child myself someday
Four things I've learned since then-- >That adoption issues are incredibly complex >That most birth mothers have their children's best interests at heart and are doing their best with terrible circumstances >That there are huge numbers of kids in the world waiting, many of whom who will never have a family >That the privilege of adoption has been an incredible blessing to my family
Four silly things people have said to me about adoption-- >How much did they cost? >Do you have any real kids? >Didn't their real mom want them? >Are they sisters?
Four things that are hard about adoption-- >Waiting >Waiting >Realizing that many people would have been able to parent their own biological children if only they'd had the right support at the right time. >Facing your child's grief and loss issues, and feeling sad when you can't make all their sadness go away.
Four ways my adopted children have surprised me-- >With how soon they began to ask adoption-related questions >With their resilience in the face of huge upheaval in their lives >With their similarity to me in various ways >With the way they have completely and utterly captured my heart
Four things I wish everyone knew about adoption-- >That getting educated about adoption issues is way more important in the long run than worrying about the paperwork. >That there are millions of awesome kids in the world just waiting for families >That the funding will come if you just jump in and do it >That parenting adopted kids is just as miraculous and wonderful as parenting kids born to you.
So, I called Bonnie today to ask a few questions. The insurance issues deffinately don't sound like as big of a deal now that I talked to her. They just want something in our adoption file saying that once the baby is with us he/she will be covered. I know CHP+ (the government program) will work fine because our eligibility increases the larger our family. So once we are a family of 5 we we still qualify. We're still at least going to put me on Dave's insurance and then most likely leave the boys on CHP+. So that's a relief.
Bonnie has some other things to get together and mail us as a part of this beginning paper work but she said we can mail everything we have done now so she can start processing stuff. This should speed up the whole thing instead of us waiting till we have every little thing together.
It's exciting to know we're getting so close to moving on to the next thing. Dave and I will start our online training classes and we don't have to worry about the CPR and 1st aid until the end of the home study. But I was happy to here we didn't have to get those things done as part of the application but more just as a part of the home study as a whole.
We have to prove that the boys have insurance. That's not a problem. However, we haven't heard whether or not it's going to be an issue that I am not covered. Dave's insurance has open enrollment in Nov. and we are pretty sure that we will go ahead and enroll me and the boys and just *find* the money to pay for it. The Lord will provide.
Today we took the boys in for their physicals and to be TB tested. One thing out of the way.
We also went to the sheriffs dept. and Dave and I got finger printed. Another thing out of the way.
I think we're really close to submitting our application. We need to do 8 hours of online training but they said we can do that during the Family Assessment/Home Study period (2-3 months long). Once we get the application in and all looks good they'll start the home visits and interviews etc.
Please pray. Right now Gabriel and Liam are on government health care. Dave is on the C&MA church health care. I am not sure if I am currently covered. Chances are, I'm not but I have paper work into the Dept. of Human Services to see if I can re qualify for government health coverage even though I'm no longer pregnant. We can get the whole family on Dave's insurance by the first of the year but even then I am not sure if we can afford the extra $300-$400 a month that the church won't cover.
I am not totally sure what the concern is but I told Bonnie our insurance situation and all she said is that "It could be an issue". She's looking into it. I think it might be that we're on CO. government care. How can we afford to adopt if we can't afford health care? Ya know what I mean? I know we can and that God will take care of us but I'm nervous now that CO may not even allow us to adopt.
So, we got a "to-do" list from Bonnie. Most of it is gathering copies of Birth certificates, marriage license and things like that. But they also want each of us to get physicals. Dave and I have to get tested for HIV, TB and a drug screen. Both the boys have to get TB tested. So I called today and made three different appointments for the four of us (boys are going in together). They also want update pet vax records. So, I made an appointment to get Bailey and Cleo in to the vet. We also have to submit copies of CPR and 1St Aid cards which neither of us have. So, we have to take a class somewhere soon. We also have to give them copies of our Training Certificates. Colorado requires 20-24 hours of adoption training. Wow! I think some we take online but not sure where we go for the rest. I told Dave that I have had 2 1/2 years of parenting training LOL.
Anyway, the formal application should arrive in the mail today. Bonnie emailed us a list of what's in the packet and what to do with each thing. Looks like we'll sign our names more times then when we bought our home. I didn't think that was possible. So, it'll be awhile till we can submit this whole application (we have to get the "to-do" list done to submit with the app.)
i have permission from the National Bethany office to begin your adoption process in the Ethiopia program. I will send you the first paperwork by mail on Monday and also email you some of the documents.
However, she also said:
The National office stated the person matching you to a child in Ethiopia may feel your youngest child is too young and match someone else before your family, so you might wait a little longer if there are many families waiting - but maybe not.
Oh well. We understand their point of view on Gabriel's age. The good thing is that we won't *hear* about them skipping us and going to the next family on the list. We will just have to wait a little longer without really know we are.
So, we met with Deon from Bethany this morning. Ethiopia it is!!! Yea, we now know for sure which country we are going with. Korea and Russia both had some red flags, things we might be able to get around but could be quite a head ache and even possibly backfire on us. Ethiopia was completely clear. So . . .Deon is double checking on the requirements for the youngest child's age (being 6 months) at application time. She wasn't sure and didn't know if this other lady at the national office was *recommending* it or if it was a real *rule*. If we can't submit the application until Gabriel is 6 months old she figured we could at least start the paperwork for it and have it read for the day he's 6 months old. She is contacting Bonnie to find out for sure and will call us back. Most likely we will be able to meet with Deon again to get the paperwork and start collecting all the other things we need. I will update when I know more.
Edited to Add: I just got an email from Bonnie asking us to call her. I called and we talked about Gabriel's age. The biggest concern is that is if the process goes as quickly as it 1 year or less are we ready and mentally prepared to have another baby in the house. I said, "Yes!" We know this is God's timing for us. So, she is going to talk to the people who work with Ethiopia and tell them she's spoken with us, the local social worker has spoken with us and we feel that we're ready. If they say "ok" then she will send us the formal application paper work right away. YEA!
Thursday July 31st at 10AM MT. We are meeting with someone from Bethany to have our "information meeting" which is one of the steps we must take. It will be good to ask all our questions. We should really know where we stand by then. The lady left a message on my cell today saying we qualified for Ethiopia and then for two other countries but those two bring up concerns. So, I still think Ethiopia might end up being the country we choose. I am so excited to finally talk to someone. So, I should have a newsy update the end of next week.
We just got an email saying the National Bethany Office reviewed our preliminary application and they have sent it on to the local Grand Junction office. The email said that our local Bethany office would call us within the next TWO days to talk to us about our application. I am SOOO nervous that they will say, "Sorry you don't qualify for any country." Chances are low that would happen but I can't help but think that will happen. So, we're still on vacation in WA and leaving the morning after tomorrow to head to CA to visit friends. I wonder if they will call us while we're on the drive down there.
We haven't told our friends Joah and Michelle (the friends we're going to visit) about our adoption plans yet. But if we find out we qualify through a call on the drive there we will probably share the news. There are a lot of people who know we *want* to some day adopt, a handful of people who know we are actualy *going to* pursue this and even fewer who know we have officially *started* to pursue it. We didn't want to share it with too many people incase it ends up not working out. It would be too hard to have to answer a million questions if the Lord decides to shut this door. Once we know we qualify for a country and can submit the formal application we will most likely be shouting it from the roof tops. :-)
We just got an email in response to our pre-application.
Hi David and Kami
I checked on your Bethany international preapplication this morning. Jane Bradford was on vacation last week and was not able to review your application to comment on your approval or denial in the Philippines, Korea, and Ethiopia programs. I think she is back today, so hopefully we will have the answers on these 3 programs.
Guatemala is "on hold" until the country is allowed to reopen their adoption program. Guatemala is a Hague Treaty country and they did not have their laws in order on April 1 when the Hague Treaty went into effect. When they do have their laws in place (expected in 2009) Bethany is very eager to be part of that program again.
Lithuania - we do not feel this country is a good fit for you. If you have not Lithuanian heritage, the wait will be long (3 plus years). You would need to be open to children up to the age of 7.
Russia - you do meet the basic requirements, but the program coordinator has concerns that a Russia judge would rule against approving your adoption based on your young ages, your children's young ages, and income. Judges have recently required families to have higher incomes. Some are following China's rule of $10,000 per family member, including the adoptive child - so $50,000 minimum income may be required.
Uzbekistan - per the program coordinator at the national office, your family does not meet requirements.
I will let you know about the other programs as soon as I receive the information.
Bonnie Deur Intercountry Adoption Program Coordinator
So, Ethiopia sill looks like a good possibility. We'll see.
A possible concern about our time frame was brought to our attention so we looked into it. A distent friend on a message board asked me (Kami) if we had to wait to apply until Gabriel was a year old. Wow, I hadn't thought of that. So, I emailed someone at Bethany and this is the email we got today:
"If you have already completed the preapplication on our website, that is fine. If not, please wait to apply until your child is 6-months old, per the program coordinator. "
Gabriel will be 4 1/2 months old by the time we can meet with someone from Bethany. It's a little air out of our balloon but I am trying to see the good in having to wait another month and a half. First is that I am thankful that we didn't start this months ago and have to wait even longer. Second is that we now have 6 weeks to raise/earn $550 to pay for the application and possibly not have to put it on a credit card or get a loan. I don't even know if Bethany would take a card. I know eventually we'll have to get a loan or something to pay for some of the fees (I think there is another $3000.00 + fee that is due soon after applying). We will have to fund raise and save to pay the loan off. We are optimistic hearing that one family raised every penny to pay for their adoption from Ethiopia.
There is a possibility that Dave and I might get the custodian position at our church and could save some of that to pay the adoption fees. Also, Dave will Lord willing be done with his Masters this year and there is a chance he can teach at the Grand Junction branch of CO. Christian College which would really help. So, we're just praying about that right now.
July 11th, 2008 We got our passport applications subsitted. Woohoo! first step completed.
July 15th, 2008 We submitted our preliminary application submitted online to Bethany Christian Services.
Next step: We are in Seattle right now but as soon as we get back to Grand Junction we can meet with someone from Bethany to talk through the options and get help on officially choosing a country. We are fairly confident we'll choose Ethiopia but we want to get some questions answered and get their advice on this. August will really start this whole thing. It's exciting!
James 1:27 says “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
The Greek word for “look after”, “episkeptomai”, does not merely mean to go to see, but to relieve the problem. Not a shallow term, it implies a commitment to fully meet the needs of the person to whom we are ministering. James indicates that this type of commitment is an outpouring of a heart determined to follow the Lord rather than the world’s standards.
It is every believer’s responsibility to care for orphans, not just a select few. If we truly believe this, in every church there should be families ministering to “orphaned” children in a variety of ways. While some families can welcome a child into their homes, others can help make this possible financially. Still others can provide respite care or make physical modifications of the church facility.
The method a family chooses to minister to children needing families isn’t as important as the fact that we all should be ministering to these children in some way. The love that we lavish on these children will be both a testimony to the world and an opportunity to show our love for the Lord.
Ultimately in the day of judgment “The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” – Matthew 25:40 (NIV)
We've (Dave and I) been very convicted about this verse James 1:27 "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world."
Our church is a Christian and Missionary Alliance church so they talk about mission work over seas ALL the time. There is a family who started an org. called Children with Hope. They have an American family who lives in Eldoret Kenya and they have 5 or so orphan kids with them. They aren't officially an orphanage yet because they need 20 kids. SO. . . our high school youth group is on a mission to raise $24,000 before the end of July to build a second home on the land next to this family to house the rest of the kids. (If you hadn't heard there was a big feud there because of the elections and MANY more kids were orphaned since Dec. 07) This is one thing we can do to take care of orphans but it still seems small to us. . .
. . . so, we are going to adopt unless God says "no".
