Month's of Sickness. January - March 2022

This is our new puppy Wiccan. We didn't know Scarlet was pregnant, took her to the doctors because she was lethargic, and they sent us home to have the baby. Wiccan was born that night. This Octopus doll is her absolute favorite!

This is Wiccan when we dropped off Belle at school. Wiccan is Belle's dog and Wiccan loves her so much. 

Lunch with Pyper after a doctors appointment. 

Christmas sillies. 

Ammon got a new toy and we are all having fun with it. 

We were stuck at home for all of January because of Covid. A month of isolation can cause people to do weird and unusual things. You never know what is going to come up, between Ammon's new virtual reality game and dress-up. 

Belle is not happy to finally be going back to school. She is going to miss her puppy. 

This anniversary Ben was still sick so I took myself out on a date. I went to our local used book store "The Bookery" in Placerville and LOVED IT!! Wish it had sitting space for hanging out but every inch was covered in books. 

23 years together and still going strong. We love each other, love our kids and love our life. 

We were going stir crazy at the house and trying to figure out where we could go that wouldn't be around people. We didn't want to give anyone Covid but we needed to get out of the house. Pyper, Sam, Belle and I decided to go to the Ocean!!

Something else we did was lots of art projects. Belle decided to do a portrait of me. She had me sit down and mixed colors and made sure I didn't move while she made a picture of me. I think it is my favorite picture ever!! 

Ammon got in a car accident on the freeway. We are so thankful that he walked a way with just a few bumps and bruises and nothing lasting. His car did not fair as well and we had to say goodbye to it. Thankful for our morning prayers where we ask that our children are watched over and protected. 

Finally all feeling better and hanging out together. Thank goodness. We survived Covid and then we survived a round of the stomach flu. It has not been a fun couple of months and I feel bad for all the time my kids are missing school but they will survive. 

Our sweet Sami, and her family, have left us and we are heartbroken. Sami and Pyper have been best friends for years now. Every weekend they are either both at our house or both at Sami's house. They do everything together. They are inseparable. We also love Sami's family and are so thankful for their friendship over the last several years. Sami also has a little brother, Jack, who is one of our Sam's best buddies. Their leaving was so hard and so sad. 

This is a picture of Wiccan taking care of Belle when she was sick. She kept trying everything she could to let Belle know she was there for her. It was so cute. 

 

Life does not always turn out the way you hope.

This might sound like a depressing statement, but really, I hope it helps someone down the road. Just because life doesn't always turn out the way we hope, doesn't mean it is bad. Sometimes the things we hope for are so small and insignificant to the blessings that God wants to give us and that he has prepared for us. The challenge is waiting through the hard times.

So I started a new job in May at the Food Bank. I was full of high hopes. I thought it was exactly what I wanted. I would get to work close to home, only while my kids are in school, and I get to serve others. It was perfect. Little did I know that God had another experience in store for me, and it wasn't pleasant. The job ended up as a bust. The people who run it were horrible to work for, their values were out of wack, they treated me like a piece of furniture that they didn't care about but were obligated to keep. I won't go into the details of what happened at that job, but needless to say, it wasn't pleasant.

I wondered why God led me to this job. I felt it was meant for me and couldn't understand why he didn't want me to take it. It turns out, he had a BETTER plan but needed me there for those 3 months for that to happen.

In the three months that I worked their, things were going smoothly at my Davey's work (where I had left). When I expressed to him that I wanted to quit my job, he had nothing for me. I was laid off anyways and when I let him know, an opening had suddenly come up at his office. I started working for him again but thought it temporary. I told him that the commute was too much to make it a permanent thing (it was an hour drive and I was basically gone from the home for 12 hours, along with Ben. It was just too much for the kids). He offered to let me work from home. I wasn't sure if this would work but after a couple weeks of planning, here I am.

Today I started my first week of work from home. I am not sure if it will work yet, but I am hopeful. What I do know is that now I am home for my kids, I can even get a little laundry done occasionally as I work, and it is ideal for my situation. The Lord knows us. When I was first working for Davey, he wasn't ready to have someone work from home and didn't need it but after that 3 month stint at the Food Bank, he was ready.

Another side blessing. When I left the Food Bank, the spirit told me that it would be a while before I found the right job. I was applying for jobs daily with no results or minimal results. I was doing everything I could and filling in for anyone I could. I worked for Davey but at the time wasn't thinking permanent. It was a challenge, and it isn't over yet. This working from home gig is still in the trial stages but I am hopeful and moving forward.

What I always try to remember is that God has a plan. I don't know what that plan is for me. I try my best to do what I think works, but I need to remember to always be open to inspiration. I need to be open to his hand in my life, not shut off from anger or frustration that life isn't going the way I want it. When I am open, then I can see the hand of God in my life.

Started a new job at the end of May. I am now working for the Food Bank of El Dorado County as their Administrative Assistant/Receptionist

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The hours are great. I work from 9am to 3pm. I will be able to get the kids on the bus in the morning and be there for them after school. It is a nice setup.

The work is good also. I love being able to help people and serve others for my job. There are hard things, of course, but overall going well. 

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This does mean that the kids are home for the summer, mostly on their own. Because we can't travel this summer, I bought a pool membership and we are spending 3-4 evenings a week at the pool. The kids are loving it.

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During the day, when I am gone, I have assigned one of the teens to play with the littles in the morning and then lunch and a movie in the afternoon. The teen playing with them has to do fun activities and make sure they do their summer reading. They get paid $10 for each day they are in charge. It is a win, win. The littles are entertained and having a great time with their older siblings. The siblings are earning money. Everyone is getting a chance to know each other better. We are half way through and it seems to be working well. Buying clay, and stuff to make slime, outside chalk and fancy markers are also helping!

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My pathways class is finishing up and I have mixed feelings about it. I will be glad to not have to leave my family each week, but I will miss the people in my class terribly. I am actually surprised I will miss them but it is true. We have shared intimate things over the last year. I won't miss my last religion teacher or the class in general but I LOVED the other religion classes. Because I had an AMAZING English teacher Jessica Thompson, I am considering a career that involves English or maybe editing. Unfortunately those majors are limited on-line through BYU-I. I guess I will just take it one day at a time.

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This week Ammon is volunteering at Cub Scout day camp. He is LOVING it and wants to go back next year even though the church won't be in attendance and so neither will Sam. I am glad. He is such a great kid. He works really hard at it too. Learning to manage his temper and not argue about everything has been hard for him but he is doing an awesome job! Sam is also having an amazing time on his 2 days! Fun for all, except the parents who have to get up early to drive them there. Ha ha ha...

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Pyper is spending almost all of her summer at friends houses or having them here. She is having a great time and I am so glad she is getting this chance. She is my social butterfly and I am afraid I am horrible at making sure my kids are "properly" socialized. Thank goodness she has good friends whose parents are willing to pick her up and drop her off. 

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Jacob is a struggle at the moment. His anxiety and depression are high and right now we are just keeping him afloat and keeping our fingers crossed. He is a good kid, tons of fun and a fun personality. He just has to figure out how to manage his health with medication, exercise and religious study. We just keep praying for him

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Sam and Belle are doing well and keeping busy at home. No one gets computer or phone time in the morning so they are all learning to spend time outside or time reading. Both work for me. Belle is a ball of fire and her and Sam LOVE swimming time. They are taking risks, giving their mom a heartattack but learning how to swim. By the end of the summer I won't have any kids to worry about in the pool. Woo Hoo. 20 years coming!

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Abby is doing good. She likes a guy, MaKay, right now. They have been on a few dates. We will see what happens. She is working at Target, but frustrated with management (I feel her pain) and is trying to find an office job. She is moving out at the end of August into student apartments and that is good. I think she will do well there!

I am doing this while at work. Don't tell my boss, Davey!

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I was super busy all day today until now. I am killing a little time before I start my next project and thought I would write for a minute about our Easter break. I will add pictures when I get a chance to download them. 

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Last week I got sick. I mean really sick. It was no fun. Head cold and all the stuff that goes with it. I even called in sick on Tuesday. But the kids  were out of school for the week and I wanted to do  all our fun things.

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WEDNESDAY: It was  our annual Holt Olympics. I think this is year 4....or maybe even 5. It is always so much fun and I love the tradition. This year we even had a theme. This year's theme was "Classic Games". We had about 10 adults and 30 kids. It was crazy and awesome!

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First we played Pac-Man. Adrianne was in charge of this game and she did a great job. She made a Pac-Man maze on the cement with duct tape and then had coins (from Chucky Cheese) and laid them out everywhere. Then we made "shoes" for the ghosts out of pool noodles. We cut them into 3rds and then using 4 pieces, duct taped them together and then had the "ghosts" stand on them and we duct taped them to the pool noodles. This made it harder for the ghosts to move around  and gave the "Pac-man" a chance to pick up some coins. It was funny trying to see the ghosts move around and trying to see Pac-man trying to avoid them. Such a fun game!

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Next we played a game hosted by Marcy. It was a tic-tac-toe relay. There are 2 teams and each is given 3 rags. One at a time, one person from each team runs forward, places a rag in a tic-tac-toe square and then runs back to tag the next teammate. That teammate then runs forward and places their rag (both teams are doing this at the same time and trying to get 3 in a row). Once all 3 rags are out then the next team member tagged runs out and can move the rags (of their color) that are already out, to different spots, to try and make 3 in a row. That one was fun, although a little challenging for some of the smaller kids. 

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The next one, was actually 2 games. We separated 2 teams each and did different games and then switched. One of the games  is called the t-shirt game. The first person in line puts on a big t-shirt and holds the hands of the person behind them. Then one of hte players pulls the t-shirt over their head, through the hands and onto the second player in line. That person then turns around and holds the next players hand and repeats that process so the shirt is on that player. It is fun. 

The other game was one where you have to knock water bottles over by putting a nylon sock on your head, with a tennis ball at the bottom. Then you swing your head around and try to knock the water bottles over with the tennis ball. It was hilarious to watch.

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The last game we played was a giant game of battleship. It was so cool. We laid out a checkered board on both sides and then hung a tarp in-between. Then we had kids lay on the squares and they were the boats. Then the rest of the kids for that team stood at the back and threw eggs filled with confetti to the other side and tried to "hit" the boats and sink them. It was fun and there was confetti everywhere.

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After all the games were done we handed out prizes (everyone wins and gets candy) and had a hot dog and chip lunch. It was a great day.

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THURSDAY: we did a similar day. We had a Holt Olympics, teen version day. Ammon and Jacob put it together. They invited kids from seminary. They played a lot of the same games but it was all with teenagers and then they had a bonfire and roasted marshmallows and made smores. Fun was had by all. Oh, and they used water balloons instead  of confetti eggs. I am sure you can guess how much more fun they had with that! I am not sure how many of the water ballons went to the game and how many were used for teenage fun!

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FRIDAY: Back to work but unfortunately I have passed my cold on to Ben and by 2pm we are headed home because he is super sick. He spent the rest of the weekend in bed. Fun times. On Monday, Tuesday, and Friday the kids had to entertain themselves. I was  a little worried having them home alone all day but they did great. I gave them free reign on computer and video games. It seemed to go well.

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SATURDAY: Per our tradition, we went to my Aunt Carries for lunch and a HUGE Easter Egg Hunt. There was yummy food and all my siblings who live in CA  were there. It was nice to visit with everyone and let all the kids play together. Plus there were about 20 other families that Aunt Carrie invited. We all visited and then the kids and moms went in the house while the dads and older teens hid over 2000 Easter eggs in the yard. The moms and kids had  a lesson about the true meaning of Easter and watched a video from the church about Easter. I think that is my favorite part about this tradition, Aunt Carrie always remembers to include the true meaning of Easter before the hunt.

Then, of course, the kids are all let loose (by age) and the hunt begins. My Sam and Belle each filled their basket and then filled a grocery bag full of eggs. It was  pretty cool and they had a ton of fun. This year there wasn't much candy and there was lots of toys and stickers. I don't know which I like better. Less candy is always good, but lots of little junk toys around the house isn't great. LOL Fun was had by all and. On the way home I stopped at Nothing Bunt Cake and let everyone pick out a little bunt cake for their Easter dessert for the next night. It was so fun to be able to let the kids do that.

Saturday night I almost forgot to fill the Easter baskets. It was a long day. I was still recovering from the cold and Ben never got out of bed. I was so tired. Luckily I  remembered right before going to bed and got it all set up!

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SUNDAY: Sam woke me up early and asked if he should wake everyone up before going to his basket. I told him to wake all the kids  but to let Dad and I sleep. I felt a little bad missing their faces when they first saw their baskets, but sleep was a priority this year. The kids didn't miss us at all. They were all too busy looking at the fun stuff and playing with their new toys. I woke up about a half hour later, took a shower and came out so they could show me all their fun stuff. It was a nice morning. 

Church started at 9am so we didn't have too much time to revel in toys. Everyone got up and got dressed in their Easter best. Church was nice. They had a quartet sing with no accompaniment. It was beautiful. They had a poem reading that talked about all the things Christ has suffered for and with us, and some of it was very pointed, and they had a talk. The primary sang and the young women sang and the choir sang. It was beautiful. I love holiday church meetings. The spirit is always strong and I love all the music.

After church was pretty mellow. We played games together, hung out and generally left it low key. We didn't even have ham because that is Ben's favorite and I didn't want to make it with him being so sick. We will have the ham later this week. 

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All in all, it was a good vacation week. It was also a good test to see how the kid are going to do this summer, with me continuing to work. This is always the kick off to the end of the year. Only a couple more weeks left and the kids will be out of school for the summer. Fingers crossed we all survive.

So, I had a personal experience this week at work, 2 actually. I started working for my brother 2 weeks ago. I was hired for data entry, which I love and was looking forward to doing. I arrived at his office on Monday morning only to find that I would be put at the front desk and be doing secretarial work for the time being. With Davey's new, big accounts, he found that he was short on workers and the people he had working the front desk were in the process of moving into the back area to work with the accounts. He had to push everyone's time schedules up. So they got pushed to working on accounts and it left that front desk open. While they looked for someone to fill the spot full time, they needed me to fill in. Davey even came to me expressing how sorry he was and that he knew this wasn't where I wanted to be but it was where he needed help at the moment.

I took the job, but I subconsciously didn't like the fact that it was happening and even though I worked hard, I definitely wasn't happy. There was this kind of cloud over me. I wasn't learning quickly and even though I was doing the work, I wasn't doing my best effort. I wasn't doing that on purpose, but I think the disappointment hit me harder than I realized. I planned to work 3 days a week. 

That first week was also rough because it was an adjustment for my kids. Jacob took over getting the kids on the bus each morning and getting everyone to do chores and homework at night. He was also in charge of the laundry and cleaning one room each day. We "hired" him to work for us and pay him $50 a week. 

Not only were my kids adjusting and it was hard, but Belle crashed into a garbage can on the first day, on her bike but without a helmet, and got a deep gash right by her eye. Her eye immediately turned black. We got a neighbor to look at it to see if it needed stitches, thankfully it didn't. She sported that black eye all week. Then on Friday the school called and said that Belle had thrown up at school and someone needed to come get her. Jacob was at home but he doesn't drive. Luckily Merry came to my rescue and brought her home. 

On my way home from work that day, with Ben, he asked if I should keep working. Here was my first miracle. Through everything, my frustration with my job, belles face, belles stomach and the kids trying to adjust, I had this calm feeling that I was doing the right thing. The spirit told me that I needed to be doing this right now for my family, that it was important. I don't know why, but I do. This brought me huge comfort. We sat the kids down at the end of the week and talked to them. Although they aren't excited about me working, they all felt good about it too and they all agreed to keep making an extra effort at home. 

And the rest of the story.....

So my second week of work started, much as the first. The person they had hoped to hire for the front desk didn't work out and they had to continue looking. I continued at the front desk and really struggled. The people teaching me were the ones that had moved into new positions also. They didn't have time to train me properly. I kind of got thrown in, not knowing anything about the company and was continuing to struggle.

On Tuesday (I work Monday, Tuesday, Friday) I was feeling overwhelmed and discouraged. Half way through the day I heard my brother speaking to another employee and he said some things about me that while not being mean, were not flattering. I was hurt. I was sitting there trying not to cry and hoping I could blame it on my cold if I did. They I was mad, because I didn't want to do this particular job anyways and then he was complaining about me doing it. Then I would be back to crying. I went back and forth with those emotions for a couple of hours.

I took a late lunch that day. As I sat their thinking about my job, I prayed. I told Heavenly Father of my frustrations. I had some realizations. One, I wasn't happy at my job. I know that sounds obvious from this story but at the time I hadn't really realized it. I knew I wasn't happy and the job was exhausting but I didn't realize I was really unhappy. Second, I realized that I was lucky to have the job. I hadn't found any other jobs and this job would give me a good reference if I decided to look for something closer to home. Third, I get to work with my brother, and have extra insight to the job. Davey and I had gone to lunch and had spent time visiting. I realized I really like him and like spending time with him. Fourth had job security. Unless I messed up royally, Davey would probably keep me on, even if I wasn't doing a great job. And last, but not least, I got to drive to and from work with Ben every day. It was great. We get to spend one on one time together for 2 hours every day I worked!! It is awesome for our relationship. 

I realized that having to answer the phones, and having to learn new things with my old brain, didn't out weigh all the benefits of my job. There were a lot more benefits! I also realized that I needed to change my attitude. I decided then and there to do the best job that I could. I may still fall short, but if I do the best job that I can, then I don't have to worry about what was said. I also decided to be firm and to pretend I knew what I was doing until I actually knew. I prayed to Heavenly Father again to help me. He had made it clear that I was supposed to be at this job and that I would make a difference and so I needed his help to do it. 

I will be putting all these quotes somewhere around my desk!!

I went back to work for 3 hours. It was AWESOME. I can't even explain the miracle that happened. Everything changed, completely. It was like night and day. Before, I felt like I was Eeyore. I had this little rain cloud around me. It even seemed like the room was darker, when I was pouting. Once I decided to do my best, try my hardest, and put on a happy attitude, the room was lighter, my voice was firmer on the phone (before that people expressed issues with hearing me). I went with confidence to ask questions when I didn't know how to do something. And the people started treating me differently too. They would come in and visit. They would ask me how I was doing. I wasn't just Davey's sister, I was their workmates. 

I was shocked. It was like night and day. That cloud that had hung over me from my first day was gone and I was able to do my job well. I even realized that I knew more than I thought I knew. And, because my brain doesn't work great (one of the reasons I didn't want to do this job and was afraid I would fail...rain cloud) I started writing down every new thing I learned. That way I could refer to my notes, instead of referring back to the employees when I had a question.

This all happened on Tuesday. When I went back on Friday I was happy to realize that the spirit was still there. I was still positive and happy. I was still able to do my job, in a good way. I am so excited! I still don't like answering the phones but now I know I can do it happily until they hire someone else. I tell my kids all the time to "choose kind" when they are not being nice and on my wall at home is a poster that says "Choose Happy." That is going to be my motto!!

Miracles

A couple of weeks ago Ben taught the lesson for FHE. It was with the new church program (which he has been doing every week for us) and it was all about Christ and his miracles and how every day we are given miracles if we can just recognize them.
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Then, throughout the week we had several miracles that we got to share with the kids.

The first miracle was that someone offered to let us use their car while they were going to be out of down for a couple of months. This was a miracle for us because our little blue car was dying and was too expensive for us to fix up but we were saving money for a new car.

The second was that I have been looking for a part-time job to pay for Ben's schooling. I hadn't had any luck. It is hard to get hired when you have been out of the work force for 20 years. Even if you have good skills, most people don't want to take a chance. I went to the temple on Thursday and prayed to Heavenly Father. I told him I was doing all I could to find a job and if he felt I should work, then I just needed a chance and I would get the jobs. I walked out of the temple, got in my car and looked at my phone. On the phone was a text from my brother Davey, who owns a company. He had just bought out another company and asked if I could work for him, for a couple of month, to input all the new accounts into his company.

Miracles still happen today. We were able to share this experience with the kids and it was awesome!

Okay, I have seriously gotten out of the habit of keeping my blog going but I am making a new goal, to do it every week, as I do school. Hopefully doing it when I sit down to do school will help. :)

Oh, and I am doing school. LOL.

Has it really been since March that I have posted? I definitely need to get back in the habit and get our family journal back up and running. I am sure that I have now lost even my most devoted followers but I will do this for me, my kids and my posterity. :)

This is a copy of an e-mail that I sent to Ben this morning. As I was studying I had some insight and wanted to share.

I read something cool this morning as I was doing my homework and I had to share. I was reading a talk by Elder Bednar. He was talking about Nephi. He talked about when Nephi was bound by his brothers. When Nephi prayed to God he didn't just scream "help me, solve my problem" as I would have done. He prayed that the rope would be lose so he could get out. I think this is a huge distinction that I don't know I have thought about before. I know I have heard all this before, but it hasn't hit me. Today it hit me. I prayed for a year about Ammon, we both have. I prayed and asked Heavenly Father to help me. I screamed "help me, solve my problem" more times then I can count. It wasn't until I heard the Bitnoff's and started to pray that Branda would break up with him, that things started to happen. They actually happened pretty fast and she broke up with him, within the month. This is just one example, of course. But for some reason it just really hit me this morning that we need to pray for specific help in solving our problems instead of just a blankets statement of panic. 

"Pray and seek for strength to change our circumstances rather than praying for our circumstances to be changed. We will become agents who act rather than objects that are acted upon." -Bednar

I need to change the manner of my prayers. I need to pray for strength rather then to just have all my problems solved for me. I need to do the work. It seems silly that it has taken me this long to figure this out. I would be embarrassed to tell anyone else. ;) But this "revelation" for me, gives me so much comfort. My circumstances are not going to just magically be solved because I prayed but as I pray I will have the strength to solve the issues and to weather the storm. 

Spirit is so strong for me this morning. :) 

Love

me

AWESOME GIRLS WEEKEND

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Sherry, Kelly and I have talked for years about doing a girls weekend. How come it seems like time just slips away and it never happens? It has been over 20 years and although we have gotten together separately or with our whole families, we haven't done one with just us girls.

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If it weren't for Kelly we probably wouldn't have done it this summer either. Kelly made it possible. She got a flight her and paid for the hotel for us to stay in. 

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We stayed in a hotel in Sacramento area and we had a GREAT time. We didn't have anything specific planned except to spend time together. I brought a beauty kit so we could pamper ourselves and we bought swimsuits to hang out in the pool and Jacuzzi. Our most important goal was to just spend time together. 

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We picked up Kelly on Thursday night and went to taco bell for dinner and then the hotel. We relaxed and decided to visit the Jacuzzi. It was a warm night and we had some deep conversation. I love that even though it might be years, we always pick up our friendship like we had seen each other the week before. That is a hard friendship to come by but when you find it, it is awesome. 

 The next morning, Friday, we got all dressed up. (really we just got dressed but I had bought these fun, semi-matching earrings that were dressy and silly and we all wore them out. We felt fancy. Ha ha ha...)

 We decided to go to the mall and walk around and then have lunch. One of the stores was having a shirt sale so we all bought one in different colors. Kelly and I each bought Sherry an extra one because today is her birthday!!

 Happy Birthday Sherry!

 And of course we were princesses for the day so we stopped at the Disney store to get pictures in a castle. 

 This sign was hilarious. Eat kids. Ha ha ha.....

 Then we went to a pie shop and got some pie for Sherry's birthday. Yum. 

 That night we pampered ourselves. I had bought stuff to make it fun, including these fun headbands to hold back our hair, a peal back mask, nail polish and stuff for toes, and a foot spa. We had a lot of fun.

 This is what happens when three 40 year old women try to use a selfie stick. We were laughing so hard about it.

 And what weekend would be complete with out all the Pride and Prejudice movies (including Pride and Prejudice Zombies).

Saturday morning it was time to go (Kelly had one of her kids birthdays to get back for). It was a quick weekend but it was perfect!

 Good bye Kelly, back to Utah. We are sad to see you go. We love you and miss you already.