Most days I've pretty much got it together.

Most days I know where I am going with my life and what I want to do.
(Maybe I could even use the word hopeful to describe the way I feel).

Most days I am positive that love is not just a miracle that occurs in other peoples lives.
Most days I am normal (if there is such a thing)
Most days I wake up with a smile on my face.
Most days I am grateful for my blessings.
Most days I understand that there is a plan.

Some days don't look like that.

Some days I worry.
Some days I cry without even knowing why
(okay, I know why, and you all do to, but it isn't going to help to continue to talk about it)
Some days I go on long bike rides all alone.
Some days I run just because it is something I can have control over.
Some days I sit and wonder (which is a really dangerous thing).
Some days I clean my house over and over and over again and then sit in it wondering why no matter how clean it is the emptiness is still there.
Some days nothing makes sense to me.

People say that everything will "work out"
People say that I am wonderful, but they aren't the people who I wish would say those things. (although I am grateful for anyone who wants to tell me I am fantastic).
I guess I should believe them.
Some days, maybe most days, I believe.

Today I am hoping is a Most day and not a Some day.

Flowers usually make it a most day and not a some day. . . . and pansies might be the only hope I have have since every other plant I have died in the snow yesterday.

Thinks Chicken Nuggets for Dinner are Divine

Seriously, I had one of the best meals I have had in a long time this weekend.

Chicken Nuggets.
(not dino-bytes, these were the real thing)

Chicken nuggets can be served on real, matching dishes and children can still ask to be excused from the table when they are done with their meal.
I watched it unfold and it was truly delightful.

It is true that only moms can make those kind of foods and feel okay about it.
Fantastic, amazing mothers with 4 kids under the age of 6.
Only a husband who loves his wife (who is 5.5 months pregnant) with 4 kids under the age of 6 will eat chicken nuggets for dinner and then compliment the meal and tell his wife how great dinner was while they clear the table and get things cleaned up.
It happened in real life and I was there to witness it.

I guess in all honesty it wasn't so much the chicken nuggets a much as the company that really made this one course meal so fantastic.
I've decided that I would eat chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, go-gurts and maybe even corn dogs (shocking I know) every night if it meant that I had the company that went with those foods.

Somehow stir-fry, edamame and brown rice don't actually taste all that great no matter how fantastic the recipe is when you are sitting alone at your table eating. I truly would rather be passing the ketchup to a sticky fingered 3 year old or sopping up spilled milk that the 1 1/2 year old has tipped on their high chair tray than unfolding my napkin, staring across the table at an empty spot and calling on myself for prayer yet another night in a row.

Single life can sometimes feel empty -- not just because there are no chicken nuggets.
Empty because single is, exactly what it implies -- one.

Well, this "one" girl has been lucky to not always feel that emptiness and Sunday was one of those days where silent prayers were answered once again and loneliness wasn't part of the equation.


Thanks to my ward members over the past year who have helped me to see that "one" is okay and single doesn't have to mean alone. You have invited me into your homes and lives and my gratitude for you could never be fully expressed.

Mostly, thanks to the Johnson family who have taken me in and made me feel like I truly belong in a "family" ward.
There is nothing better than hearing a child shout from the front rows of the chapel "I love you Amber Osaler" and then jump into your arms before you can even sit down.

I may not come to church with cheerios and a diaper bag, but I am glad that they can see straight through the put together person that shows up in a pencil skirt, dry clean only sweater from ann taylor and stilettos.

They realize that cheerios, quiet books, and chicken nuggets for Sunday dinner are more than okay with me. In fact sometimes I dream about having that kind of a life, but until my dreams come true I'll just take a little piece of it on Sundays when I can get it.

Looks Semi-Okay

So, we all have those people in our lives who are "brutally honest" with us right?

I am lucky enough to have a brother who always tells me the truth and doesn't even really think about if it is going to "hurt" my feelings (well I guess all of my brothers are like that. . this one just to an extreme). The truth is the truth in his eyes, no matter how insensitive it might come across.
(as a side-note: this brother is NOT married, and doing my sisterly duty I have been trying to help him to see how taking his brutal honesty down a notch might help him to find and keep a wife)

So, a few years back, like 7 or 8 years ago the said brother and I had the following conversation. This conversation was not prompted by a question or even looking for an opinion.

He loves me so much he just decided we should talk about it. (It= my hair)

We will call the brother "Derek" for short
(his whole name will not be disclosed as to protect his identity)

Derek: Amber you are like the only girl I know that looks semi-okay with short hair.

Amber: What?

Derek: You look semi-okay with your hair short. I mean, every girl looks better with long hair, but yours is "semi-okay" short.

Amber: Is that supposed to be a compliment?

Derek: Well, I am just saying it looks semi-okay.

Amber: I don't even get okay? Just semi-okay?

Derek: Well, it would be better longer. I already told you that all girls look better with long hair. Why do girls even like short hair?

Amber: Derek, do you remember me with long hair?

Derek: No, because you always just cut it short. Why do you do that?

Amber: I think we better end this conversation. I am glad that I look semi-okay.

Derek: Ya, no problem. I love you.

Amber: Ya, I think you are semi-okay Derek.

Now, keep in mind that after Derek and I had this conversation I wasn't devastated, hurt or even mildly tempted to change my semi-okay hair. Mostly, I went and told all my other siblings and we have laughed about it regularly since.

Recently, I have been reminiscing on this conversation because I am at a crossroads with my hair.

No, it isn't necessarily LONG at this point (unless you count touching the back of your neck as long -- it does fit into a ponytail), but I am debating a cut. . . not like a trim it back to an "a-line standard bob" cut. We are talking a cut it off cut. You might be asking yourself how someone with hair that is already only semi-okay and short would/could consider cutting it even shorter?! Well, I don't know that there is really an answer to that.

I need suggestions and help! What should I do? Here are my options as I see them:

Stick with "semi-okay" and the cut I have right now.

(Below is a self portrait from Thanksgiving on the beach, but the most current one I can find. My hair is a little darker and a litlte longer, but you get the idea)

Grow it out
(and go through the painful ugly hair stages that will seem to drag on for months)

I have no pictures of me with long hair that are worth seeing since they would be my teenage and early college years. No, really, they are NOT worth seeing.

Cut it to a cute "pixie"ish cut. . . sample pictures below, compliments of the world wide web.

Be brutally honest.
If you won't Derek will.












I only like the middle one here because she has short hair and is stil using really cute hair accessories. . . and we all know I have LOTS of hair accessories.






Cast your vote now or forever hold your opnion of Semi-Okay to yourself and lie to me when you see me with ugly hair.

needs "more" to do. . .

Seriously, as if I don't already have enough to do. . . .


I found this on my old BYU roommate/friends blog
(you can link to it here or from my sidebar where it says "one cheap gal").

BYU and Free classes? Sign me up!

What should I take?

There are LOTS of choices and I have oh so much to learn.

I can see that my summer is going to be busy and productive after-all.