还是一样

男人，还没追到你时，不管大日子小日子都要罢着跟你过。
追到了，连忘了你生日都可以那么理所当然。
在意又怎样，反正最甜蜜也是在发梦的时候，和现实无关。
当忘记慢慢变成习惯，期望也会渐渐变成奢望。

December

yes, it's December 2010! my favorite month of the year.
start off with finals, struggled and finally screwed everything up.HAHAHA~
Currently in December mood with no more exams. (ok, 3 more to go actually)

this is what I so want to do.cool~♥ 

ahem...

don't feel good. 

bad intuition. 

hope it's so untrue.

*fingers crossed*

忆

不习惯。
房里少了躺椅，客厅多了牌位。
家里少了一个人，心里多了一份思念。

in memory

She met her Maker today.
I miss her so much.
I miss those days she could walk and eat.
I miss her porridge and sweet potato.
I wish to talk to her again.
I wish I can hear from her.
I want to see her smile and listen to her old time stories no matter it's about World War II or her romance(I know she's missing him a lot too).
I want to hold her hands, they are rough but warm.
I hope she could answer me if I call her now.
I really miss her a lot a lot......

Rest in peace.

If

People, appreciate and do your part.

No more IFs when it's too late. Think and behave.

I Don't Want To Miss A Thing

The 365th day without you by my side.

I don't receive message every morning.

I sleep without telling anyone.

I wipe away tears by myself.

I don't have driver to One U whenever i want to.

I don't have shoulder to lie on in cinema.

I could hardly reach you especially late at night.

I hate you when I saw couples in bus.

I was single throughout a year.

Once I was angry and asked where were you and you answered ' I am in your heart'. I smiled.

You are stupid yet romantic enough to buy me a souvenir even though you felt cheated.

That's the way you make yourself so important in me.

You say believe in you and this is what I always do.

I couldn't afford to lose you.

Take very good care of yourself and all the best.

Love. Faith. Miracle.

unwillingly

My dignity worth more than that.
I ain't a fool. You don't bully me.

never know

struggling.

Is that hard to decide?  it is because I seldom reject people.

It's like when you are asked to choose either sleep or eat.
when you're full, you choose  to sleep.
but when you just came back from slumber land, you might choose the gravy.
so how?

another one,
I know hard work is the very salient platform. but I am fighting with Uncle Time and Lady Luck. so how?

oh gosh, please throw me a Paul the octopus. save me before your last breath.

here's a quote: when you are facing  two choices, and you simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you, but because in that brief moment with the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for...
ok, shall I try?

Crazy all

seriously today,Friday is the first day I reached home before 12am. hahahaha....
my wonderful week. first of all,

Genting trip with 'May Our Path'.

one night in genting~~~

Sesame tongyuen fever!

BBQ at Alex's (partial)

they like to play guitar no matter where.

Malacca! again~ AGAIN!!!

German Bar

( ok, I can hardly remember its real name)

Hoegarden, huh?

Uncle Jit the muscular.

Lester the cowboy!

Yiwen my dear sis!

yo Junyi my horny baby bro!

was lack of sleep all the while even having  holiadays. and you people recharge my battery. no matter how long the journey is supposed to be, you make it short and we enjoy with laugher! yes, laugh my ass off.

watched football match together, squeezed on the beds, played cards in the undulated bus.

Avanza and City, drove us to excitement.

 from beer talk to dim sum crap.

ok, I seriously feel my holidays just get started.

May Our Paths Meet Again

I can hardly remember the lyrics as well as the facial expressions crafted years back, but the chorus echoed.
I admire the tie berween us. it's so tight.
People left and back, still the same tie remains.
growing, learning, experiencing and caring. yes, never being stingy in sharing.
embracing different aims, fighting for different future, meeting different people. yet the best is still here.
from 'Myth' to 'May our paths meet again', we never change.

I know

Feeling so psychiatric.
Being so freaky.
Don't challenge me when I'm being friendly. 
Provoke me at your own risk with your guts, I may go nuts. 

everyone,say yeah~

Life's great. yeah, I am not promoting Great Eastern Insurance. well, I feel so grateful, so blissful now.
yes, I have great family and friends, not to forget, my boo.
but hey my unlucky friends there, you are just lack of lady luck, blame no one ya. It's lame to say it as act of God and ok-la-it's-fated those kinda bullshit now. but life goes on, so stay tough and rough.
and yo my pals who enjoy life like me, remember to appreciate.
you're nothing much more than nothing when you are switched off.
so live happily, say no to complain,complain and complain.

yes, I am in a super good mood now. deliver you the sense of happiness.wee~~~

开不了口

你是否试过想说但说不出口吗？

当你还在犹豫，说还是不说时，往往到最后还是少了勇气。

在很多时候，我都因为是第三者，不会被牵涉其中，所以做了‘衰人’，很庆幸没有把事情搞砸。

每次听朋友诉诉苦，念念下，我都会帮对方，就是那个被他们投诉的人。然后就会被骂回：''why are u always helping those sinful ones?''

'Did I?'' 我只是在他角度想而已。

说到底，还不是发泄当乐趣。

反而我自己很少会向别人投诉什么，因为自己剥夺了自己发泄的权利。

我不懂得如何婉转地说话，直话直说不代表没经大脑。

我更不懂得猜测人心，至少到现在还不需要。

我不会取悦别人，尤其是我取悦不了自己的时候。

我不想依靠别人，特别是我真的需要依靠的时候。

人情债最难还，你帮我一次，我不介意帮你十次。

我不想要计较，不然我会很累。但是你不要得罪我，因为连我自己也不懂会怎样做。

我不会表达，不代表我不关心。

我介意，不代表我生气。

尝试过了，我就不会执着。

最不能忍耐的是被误会。

不要怀疑我对你的好，因为如果我对你好，你是真的值得我对你好。

好与不好，就你自己去衡量吧。

真挚的一份情，并不需要朝夕相对，却需要尊重。

我不是伟大的圣人，我只是一个惜福的凡人。

再大件事，十年后回头看看，还不是芝麻绿豆事。更何况是那微不足道的小事？

看开点吧~

给所有朋友：

mm zong yi

jing soh wai siong gin hou tong ju nan. yao dai  yat yat hui dou,ngo jiao ji dou li yat gui yeh dim gai jor. yan wai mou lun lei dei yi qin yao gei gam q hou,  yi ga dou wui mm hou. dai ga dou hou, hai dak ngo mm hou. dai ga dou mou yeh, hai dak ngo yao yeh. ngo dou siong ji dim gai. ngo mm wui tong tong hok yat cai ju yan wai ngo ji dou man tai hai meh yeh. dou yi ga ngo dou mou gok dak li gui yeh yao cho.dan hai ngo dou gu mm dou yuin loi yat ban yan,mou lun yao gei hou, ga ha dou wui yao dii yeh gam. dai yat gor sing kei jiao ji jor. ngo ji gei ji, hui dei, mm ji yat gor ding liong gor dou ji gam la. ngo yi wai hai ngo ji gei mm guan, ngo ji gei zao bat si lan fan ook kei, hai dou yao mou mat gong yeh. ji chong yap jor hui, dim gai gong dou hou ci yap gam gam. suin la,gai juk. yap jor hui, ngo seng yat dou mm dak han.hou yeh fan, doh sou mm hai ook kei. hai ook kei yao mm dak han. hou la, dou ngo dak han la, ngo yao sam qing mm hou. ngo mm zong yi gong yeh, ngo mm gok gong jor wui yao meh yeh bong jor. mm gong yeh ngo jiao ho yi dong mou si. lei dei dou mm wui ji gei zao lei tong ngo gong yeh la. gam jiao mou wai hui yuin ju lei dei la. ho nang hai gam gao dou ngo dei dou mou gam hou. yi qin dou wui fan mai yat cai gong yeh, yi ga  mou yeh dou mm lan fan fong. lan fan hui dou hai fan gao. gong yeh?mou yeh gong. mm siong gong. ngo zan hai zan hai hou q siong bun fan ook kei geh kei sat. hou ci hou dor yu, bei jor qin yao mm ju. jong yiu yao si gok dak hou q wai wat. hai ngo yiu kao gou? mou ah..mm gok. bei jiok kei ta yan dou hai gam.gam hai lei dei yiu kao dai?ngo mm ji la.dan hai gin lei dei ju dak gam q hoi sam. yao hou ci hai ngo geh cho gam. lei dei ho mm ho yi gai bei ngo teng? ngo bak si bat dak kei gai. hou la..gong fan gor dou, ngo zao bat si lan fan hui. yan wai mou dam hou sik. mm zong yi ju yeh sik. mm zong yi zao ju yan dei sik. chut hui sik yao hou q ma fan. hou la.li dii dou mm hai meh yeh dai man tai. ngo sik ying nang lik hou kiong geh. ngo mou guai lei dei yong ngo jiong chong, ngo geh tong, ngo geh yi ga,ngo jiong toi, ji siu lei dei ho yi man jor ngo sin.lei dei man ngo sat jeh geh, li dii giu juin zhong. ngo mm gok ngo dei ho yi suk dou lin jiong chong dou jeh mai bei lei fan. ngo hai mou git pik, dan hai ngo mm jong yi,yao kei si jiong chong. ngo mou giu lei dei bong ngo zap, ngo jing hai mm jong yi yan dei gao ngo dii yeh. ngo yiu pek hai dou, lei dei jiao mm hou zap. ming mou? hou,gong fan gor dou, dan hai ngo yan mm dou lei dei ho yi lat tat seng gam. seng ban yao hou ci chi q sin gam. seng dei dou hai tao fat. sou dou mm sou, zong ho yi cho gam loi. ngo mm ming..zan hai mm ming. dim gai wui gam. gor chi sor zong sui, yat za tao fat, gao dor ngo yi wai yao lou xu. lei lam ha..yat za chao hei siong lei hou ci lou xu gam dai jek hai yao gei dor? bat si bat dak kei gai. hou la...yi ga yong jor goh meng hui san qing yeh la, jiao wa hai lei geh lo. hou,bei lei. fan jing gor dii lam sam yeh dou hai lei dei zou hoi. dan hai ho mm ho yi gong seng ah? yu gor hai yat zou ngo hui gao geh, ngo dou mm wui gam zou lo.ngo jip sao mm dou lo. hai mm hai dou hou ngo dou wui dan seng. gong gam q doh yeh, kei sat teng hei lei hou ci hou q ji si, ngo hai wa ngo ji gei, dan hai lam lam ha ngo gok dak hai ngo sik juin zhong yan, ngo dou siong yan juin zhong fan ngo. ngo mm wui tong lei dei min dui min gong, yan wai ngo gok dak mou gam geh bit yiu. dan hai yu gor lei tai dak ming geh, gam ngo jiao gang ga mm sai gong la. lei ho yi man man yin gao, dan hai mm hou man ngo xie mat q. yan wai ngo hai mm wui dap lei geh. ji gi lam la. lam la. seng gan ook dou mm ji ci mat. dei mm sou mm mat. mat q yeh dou yao kui.jong yao gor sei yu jap, dik hui ngo geh hl. gao dou mei hoi siao suk jor. yao si zan hai mm ji siong lei dei qing git dii hou ding lat tat dii hou. lan lek hui mat git gor luin gam dik, mm zap yao gao dou yat za wu ying lao lei lao hui. ngo mm ji dim gai wui gao seng gam. guan jor gua. yi ga gong sai ngo yi yin gok dak yu si mou bou. yu gor lei hai tai dak ming jiao fong gor zong yi hai bei yi gin dou la.bat gor ngo yu jor mou yan fong. ho nang lei tai mm sai.ho nang lei mm ming. ho nang lei mou tai. mou lun yu hor, doh jeh lei hoi lei tai dou lii dou. doh jeh bong chiong.yat gui gong sai ngo shun sui fat sit.ngo mm dan kao lei dei tai dak ming, ngo jing hai siong gong yeh jeh. gam yong yat cai lok hui la, ngo yi ging guan jor.li pin yeh ngo goi yuin yao goi goi yuin yao goi, yan wai ngo gok dak xie mm gao. soh yi gah jor hou dor. dim dou hou, ngo doh jeh lei dei zoi ngo gei ci, suin hai ping hang fan la.doh jeh lei dei guin gor gei tiu choi gei dik yao gei dik zap gei wui fan gei wun tong. ngo dou guin fan gei hap dan bei lei dei dong bou dap ge la.hai gam.

是你变了吗？

真想和你聊一聊天
很想看看你温柔的容颜
努力说服自己你没有变
很想看我们从前的照片
多想和你再接近一点
你现在的他 是否真已从心所愿
是你变了吗 我的影子笑我的人好傻
是你变了吗 我已经跟不上你的步伐
是你变了吗 对你的感觉应该停止吧
已经不明白你的想法
已经不再看见 你眼中的牵挂

blog

oh yeah my invisible readers~~

Recently found out some stalkers ( also many blogspot newbies.) I am not writing secrets anyway. I don't mind who the readers are actually. ^^friend said he never allow people to access his blog. er, why? because he is the only reader. good. I wanted to do so but I failed.

here's a place to perform my matinees of life. but it sounds gloomy and dull since don't know when.

I don't feel to share this with friends because sometimes I feel I bring sadness to people. but ok, as long as you are happy with it. sometime it's used to strike annoying dummies. anyway,I advocate good communication rather than shooting like soliloquy.

here's a sharing. distracted by nice musics all the time especially late at night.

moody

Since when I am so indulged in alcohol?

Since when I have so much to say but nothing comes out from me?

Since when I have adapted such life?

Since when I am so modest in blogging?

Feeling silence in the chaos.

Dedicate you a song-My Immortal

‘‘医生说是时候做好心理准备。。。’’

那夜，我失眠。

几天后的下午，收到噩耗。惊慌失措，忐忑不安。不知道应该做什么，最后还是摇了个电话给你。

‘‘我一睡醒就找不到她。。。一直找不到。。。’’

电话的另一端，接着的只是抽泣的声音。这一端却说不出话，泪水直流。很想在你身边，至少肩膀可以借给你，或者一个拥抱胜过千言万语。生气为什么你没早点说，生气自己没有办法安慰你。直到现在，眼泪还是会不经意地在眼里打滚。

挂了电话，深呼吸，传了封简讯：永怀念，在心中。。。

之后在漆黑的K房，点了My Immortal。唱不完，开始哽咽了，眼睛又红了。不会控制，很想很想去找你。

希望她在另一个世界会快乐。

永怀念，在心中。。。

*bawl*

Wasn't in good mood recently. Tests coming. Fine. Final exam is just around the corner as soon as next week. !!!

Pros: less one subject to prepare at the end of semester, no more annoying-8am tutorial class, Wednesday is free!!!

Cons: merely a fortnight to prepare for it with 4 tests altogether within a week, doesn't mean less chapters are covered in this early final paper.

Another sad story was happened on my beloved secondary school teacher's son. RIP...

Life's Brief Candle but no one deserves a regretful life.

May God bless those in miasma.

i gotta feeling

It's time to write a normal blog.

the 9th day of Chinese New Year. it's just passing too soon. time really flies. getting older, getting more mature. start thinking like an adult and trying to act as an adult as well. start feeling coward to face naked truths in this real life. i dont wish to grow up anyhow, seriously.

met up with old friends, a lot. sorry i cant recognise some of you huh. er, i dont look like a kid ah. people changing and growing. gone through different lifestyles, gaining different experiences, coming from different parts on the earth, but after years, i feel grateful we can sit together and talk talk talk. hopefully the next one wont be another nine years from now. it's fun listening to our old stories again and again. reminding, recalling. funny nicknames and little couples.

friends are graduating soon. some feeling bored of study, some feeling scare to make the first step into this competitive world. i have 2 more years to go. people asking what else i can do besides being an actuary. i said nothing. ya, nothing means speechless. people study hard in school, work hard in office. life is just hard, hard and hard. actuarial inclined friends who failed professional paper, even once, usually start hesitating. am i suitable? am i capable? am i in the wrong path? should i just quit? ya, i WAS and i am one of these kiasi kiasu money slaves. eventually, when you finally passed it regardless upon your brilliance or diligence, do you think you are good though? it's another issue. well-equipped is just enough for me. there are lots to be learnt.

relax dudes. the world outside is beautiful. after reading this, take a deep breath.

think. the purpose of your life.

be a boo or a bull?

Tiger roarS~

yea, finally i got the chance to take a deep breath after FM on 10th. effort is paid off, with one more pass as well as pimples. damn. uni tests were not my main concern right before and after the FM. and now it's time to catch up everything. yeah, EVERYTHING.

soon it comes the year of Tiger. as usual, travel time. trip to Vietnam. oh yeah, the nearest place so far. nothing much to describe. it's hot, and i am darker.

just beware of pickpockets. i shall curse those people.

alright. this year V-day is on the first day of lunar calender. nothing special as we dont celebrate.

everyday is a V-day if you are here.

Happy Chinese New Year, Happy V-day and Happy 3rd anniversary~

~!@#$%^&*()_+

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this couldnt express my feeling now.

i wish i can smile tomorrow.

i am totally stressed!!!!!!

'debakchilizing' now~

I need a talk deeply. one more week, i will switch myself back to normal bakchi mode. hopefully.

current mode : nerdy

current mood : frus

I shall...

...forget about something i shouldn't keep in mind.

...take it easy.

...think twice again and again.

...put efforts in what i am supposed to.

...enjoy my days.

no more stupid thoughts.

somehow I need a shoulder to cry on.

and you are no longer the one.

with care.

with love.

simple.sincere.

sitting forlornly in tears listening to emo songs all nights.

beer is the best. perhaps.

原来不见了你，我还是会很焦虑。。。

oh yeah

I am totally in CNY mood now. i love RED !

Red decos everywhere.....CNY songs echoing ...even we sang 大团圆 in REDbox.

yeah, still have one more month to go. just ONE month!

appointment full but i am sorry to say i might disappoint you all.

i cant wait for it to come but right before it i still have FM!

oh gosh FM, i am still relaxing now with both legs goyang goyang here.

FM!

*jump up high*

one-month effort finally it fruits~

next what?

here we go, FM!!

strike it!

E-M-O

ya.that's it. EMO.

a friend of mine sent me some emo songs which he thinks those are the best to heal his emo-ness.

stupid lar you. you make me more emo now.

went out for few gatherings in a week. that's the time i talked the most this week.

bottomless topics to go but i am hiding myself in a study corner now.

oh ya, i read a story, real one, from friend. just one word to describe it- DARING!

time's up.

you you you, ya, i am saying YOU! enjoy your life~

flirt

enough of it.

you make me sick.

no more flirts.

stop flirting.

i am not flirty.

Dec 2009~

Malacca trip:

Driver: Mr. Chong K.H. (pro 1~)

Satay celup~it's finger *sucking* good

Eye on Malaysia

we didn's take the ride..because it's too expensive lar~~

in memory~ cendol~ yummy

My Birthday 18122009

A slice of coffee CHEESE !!! omg....it's so cheezy! by Ms. Yee L.L.

(she knows i am not keen in chee-si)

after cake, she gave me these~

想灌醉我？

belated celebration with coursemates

Venue : TGI friday's

SWLJ : a fantastic appellation from SER 08/09(kns~)

Babylon Kepong~with old old good good friends

(the fruity ice-cream is FREE~)

the dec babies: 18th AiMay & 20th Turtle~

here we are~

New Year Party ~ Rocks~

Venue : Brother Chong's

2009 has left.

welcome 2010.

all the best dudes !