pool

had a great time at pool w some classmates today.
ying and i were the only females, but its ok.. had lotsa fun luvya babe :)
and likoon is really zai lah haha
gave me helpful advice... so did the rest of the ppl there actually
cos i was the worst player hahaha
so under their guidance i progressed and actually lost to jz by one ball!! (not easy ok :p)
so happy
didn't know i could feel so happy losing
haha

was just waiting for my turn (cos 6 ppl but 2 tables) when i looked, as in really looked at the
pple i was with.
then i realised that they were my classmates, ppl i usually see in the classroom, LT, audi, class bench or canteen.. either mugging, eating or doing both at the same time.
it struck me then how little we really connect, interact and just have fun together, although we see each other practically everyday.
watching the others play talk and laugh about stuff beyond the usual ("really can finish mugging loh" or "how am i gonna get an A") made me realise how much i love them and how i really do treasure their friendship.
corny?
perhaps
but that was wat i really felt then.

and then i also realised that there were only 6 of us there.
where were the rest?
perhaps doing other more meaningful and productive things that will help them to stay ahead in this rat race.
perhaps they just don't enjoy pool (not many do)
perhaps they had to do other more urgent stuff
perhaps they were just tired

but i really wonder.
is that extra little bit of mugging for one more day really gonna help that much
99 marks is an A, but so is 75
so wat?
i don't wanna leave hc with nothing more than a nice-looking cert and little else
its the company of the pple here that really matter, and that's wat i'll always remember
mug a bit more to push up my grades a bit more at the expense of grooving with my classmates?
no thanks

so pool today was really fun
though i felt super lousy while watching likoon play
(ok i am lousy at pool)
but i love how the others tried to encourage and help me
made me feel so happy
though i lost lah haha
but its ok!
i'm happy :)

then met xiaoen and xinyi and gx and we went to eat a Big O cheesecake w icecream at the Big O Cafe so nice!
so i became happier :)
plus i got to shop around w xiaoen who likes to try on clothes too!
whaha
but nothing much lah... could only find nice stuff at topshop :)
then we took the same bus home.. the usually-very-long-and-dreary bus-ride was suddenly very short cos we talked non-stop :)
haha that was fun
was sorry it ended so fast :)

Disclaimer: i was just ranting.. not refering to anyone in particular at all in my above examples of "perhaps..."

rollercoaster

an emotional rollercoaster today
actually thats a slight exaggeration, but today was an exciting day nonetheless.

I PASSED MY GP
mwhahaha
so happy
just got a B4
yay :)
God is good :)

so sch ended at like 915
and after discussing for 20 mins ying and i decided to go to 6th ave for lunch (brunch?) cos i would be able to stay a bit longer then her and (hopefully) mug a bit before the bio s mock prelims at 1230.
so we set off happily
all the way to simply bread
where we pigged out on a sandwich each and shared a delightfully cinnamonny sticky bun
then we proceeded next door to coffee bean and shared a chicago cheesecake and very rich and milky mocha latte
of course we were happily chatting all this while
(afterall wat can u expect to get when u put 2 mg girls together :) )

and then i realised i had a missed call so i decided to call the person back
and i discovered that the bio s mock prelims had been cancelled
right
after all that planning and complaining and contacting ppl and reconfirming, a date time and place was finally decided upon and 3 of them had to go and cancel the whole thing
my goodness.
as teng soon put it "they are in the same class as qy (who proposed the mock prelims) so why didn't they fight amongst themselves first before coming up with a proposal?"
wise words indeed, and my sentiments exactly

it wouldn't be hard to cancel it, since i have the contacts of at least one person in each S7 class.
but i got really pissed cos they just did it in such a last-minute fashion- when we were all informed of it a long time ago.
if they were really against it they should have spoken out like a week before instead of letting us plan everything and then throw it all back in our faces.
who do they think they are man
so wat if they claimed that a lot of ppl don't want the session too- they would have voiced it out themselves
and anw we asked if anyone objected when we first confirmed it together as a class w mrs foo, and no one said a thing
and my dear class (7A) even had to change some stuff to fit my schedule cos of the bio s session
argh
watever
suan le

anw
so that was a down in my day
but ying made it go up again by suggesting that we go to orchard!!
hehehe
so we did
so nice
i enjoy going to orchard spontanously
unfortunately i had less than $10 in my wallet so i couldn't do much
but it was fun just walking around and chatting w ying
haha
and she brought me to this nice shop at scott's- latte (i think) where we tried on stuff and i found a prospective prom dress. not too ex too!

then we went to perfect in black
and tried on like super-ex stuff
the sales person was wearing this super skimpy top and she had tattooed on eyebrows (eek!)
and she was really reluctant to let us try the dresses, but in the end she couldn't say no (cos we smiled a lot and spoke in this posh manner haha)
we were so successful that she was convinced that we were gg to buy the dresses and made us leave our contact numbers behind so that she can go back again hahaha
which is so not happening

then we went to topshop cos we decided to look at nice stuff to wear under our clothes
then we went to isetan to breathe in pure O2 (supposedly) from this biotherm counter
so fun
mildly scented air i think
supposed to smell like fresh mountain air
which made me think of switzerland, a country i really really wanna go to :)

then we went to borders cos i wanted to get some books
and we met nette!!
and hh
actually we met him first, then he lead us on this wild goose chase (ok not really lah.. he just said that she was in the children's section and we didn't believe him haha) to nette
then we sat between them and chatted w nette
hehehe
he was quite disgusted by our conversation
cos we threw in stuff like "red lacy thong"
haha
then ying left for home after a drink
so fun!
had a great time today :)

and there is pool tmr!!!
yay!!!

found this picture of pink.
not a fan of hers though
i'm not a fan of any artiste actually

anw
thought this pic would look nice on my blog
and the makeup rox
observe the eye makeup
smokey-eye without making her look as if she was punched
a look we have been trying to recreate without success every performance
and the lipstick looks nice and glittery, without being overly in-your-face

anw back to the eye
i don't like the fact that the inner rim of the eyelid is lined as well
it looks better i guess, but its really dangerous
the eye is a fragile and well-vascularised organ.
and eyeliner, be it liquid, pencil or kohl, is not exactly a very clean instrument
and applying it in the inner rim of the eye could be potentially harmful
if a particle of dirt or a microbe gets into any one of the millions of capillaries in the eye, it would be able to travel to one of the sinuses of the brain via the opthalmic vein... or is it optic vein... and then through the sagittal sinus, it could travel to the transverse sinus and then from there to all parts of the brain and watever and then... not a pretty senario if that particle is a virus
eek.

ah well
can't remember no shit abt the innervation and vascularisation and watever of the body anymore.
so the above is just crap

anw back to the eye
at 1130 pm last night i was reading the disgustingly-named-yet-quite-good book The Science of God by some MIT alumnus. it demonstrates the parallels between science and religion.
so it touched on evolution
actually its more like devoted 2 chapters to it
and i read a chapter in a state of half-asleepness
all i remember is that he mentioned the evolutionary (im)possiblity of the eye (a highly specialised organ)evolving purely from random mutations. note the word random.
and since organisms from so many phyla have similar eyes, convergent evolution had taken place
and then... i cannot remember
haha
it was way too cheem, and generously sprinkled with math formulas by this prof
which, i, a math idiot, can really understand

so how did i get here
oh yes
nice funky pic, no?

denial

looks are deceiving i guess
we're all walking around with a brave facade to cover up whatever is beneath.
trying to pretend that nothing really matters
that we're all having a good time
that everything is alright

living in self denial?
(got that of a good fren's blog)
i guess
procastination is a form of self denial i suppose
not doing wat u know u should be doing

i always thought he was coping really well in sch
not fantastic (well, sometimes) but always above average
and now i'm seeing stuff like "i'm gonna get 2 Us for the As"
right.
and now i'm getting worried
worried that that might happen to me as well
worried that the As will come so soon that i'll have to time to even realise that its here
worried that when the results come out i'll be left in the dust

but i'm sure he'll do really well in the end

oh well
but why worry about tomorrow
just leave it all to God

last dance :(

yippee!
finally figured out how to post photos
fine i'm slow
too bad :p
yay
happy

nice photo right?
brenda took it :)
during the carnival
if u can't tell thats me in the centre
yep the fat fat one
whahaha
i wanna dance again.

well.
so i keep misunderstanding ppl.
feel a bit like zhang wuji haha.

anw
its been an interesting day
so glad i met xiaoen today... then we went for lunch at Siam Kitchen.. so fun :)
haven't really talked for a long time
too bad xinyi wasn't there too :(

got back GP today!
i got like 1 mark for my AQ
hahahaha
its so tragic its almost funny.
oh well.
i guess my command of the english language isn't that powerful.

and i only got 9.5 for my langauge..i usually get above 10.
perhaps i can't use flowery language and impressive vocabulary from the SAT list
perhaps he can't stand the fact that i made 2 spelling mistakes in the whole paper (the horror) and no grammatical errors or errors of expression
perhaps he just has something against me
perhaps i can't write well in english
perhaps i should just do everything in chinese now
nah.

right
i really wanna go to nus.
and i really didn't go there everyday during the june hols last year.
and dunno how many times this year for biomed and ssef prep.
so i really dunno my way around the science fac.
and i will really get lost.

suan le.
someone was just being nice.
shouldn't be so mean.
shouldn't be so proud.
sorry.

hmm.
finally contacted him again after like wat.. 3 months? since college day i think. and his new hp no is so similar to my old one lah..
ah well.. so he is having a good time in nus. thats good.
i guess thats one good thing abt staying in spore.. get to have a good time in uni.
not that u can't in the us or uk lah.. only that i would feel like some 2nd class citizen and not dare to stand up and lead. but the uni life overseas would probablybe fun in a different way i guess.
and i'm blardy sick of the spore education system.
can't wait to get outta here.
only if i get a scholarship.
and only with God's grace.
so why worry so much.
just let God lead.

I love the book The Secret Garden! so nice. i love the old-englishness of it all. and i do enjoy imagining wat the garden looks like. the closest i've seen to wat i think imagine it to be is in this advert. its a huge poster with a backlight in taka.. advertising for Piaget.. u can see it when u take the escalator down from kino.. so nice :) a beautiful depiction of a garden enshrouded in mystery, with just enough light filtering through the dense leaves for us to make out the outlines of a dear little fountain in the centre of it all. i especially like the thick tree-lined walkway leading into the garden.. so nice :)

I miss dancing!!!!!!!!
sob.

watched a movie today. vcd at home after church.

entitled Thirteen.
the synopsis on the backpage revealed enough for me to think that it is a relatively harmless show abt a good girl gone bad- cliched and how bad can it get, right?
wrong.

so innocent little me set about watching the movie alone on the sofa.
so it began with the two protagonists on the bed punching each other and sniffing this thing. it went something like:
tracy: hit me!
friend proceeds to punch her.
tracy falls on her side, laughing, gets up, inhales sth from a bottle.
tracy: now punch me again! harder u b**ch!
friend punches her again so hard she falls off the bed and bangs her lip on the bedside table.
she raises her head and the red bleeding wound on her lip is visible. for a moment, she is stunned. then she laughs.

this should have warned me against proceeding, but i threw all caution to the wind and kept watching.(nothing to do anw, and i don't feel like starting on my Stanford app.)

so the movie continues, with the words "four months earlier" plastered across the screen.
then we see tracy, a good little girl, walking the dog and going to sch.
and we gather that she is a new student, blah blah.. she hangs out with nerdy girls, writes brilliant poems.. then she passes this group of (supposedly) cute guys, they ignore her, but wolf-whistle at this bunch of (supposedly) hot babes. read: stereotypical portrayal of the different types of pple in high sch. or junior sch. or watever. oh yes, protagonist tracy is only 13 and in the 7th grade.

and so she gets her first glimpse of the cool crowd, tries to hang out with the hottest girl... then becomes her best fren after proving that she can steal.. blah blah.. gets a make-over...pierces her tongue, belly button, wears skimpy clothes, throws herself onto guys just because her cooler fren does... blah blah.. smokes, takes drugs, drinks, makes out with "hot" guys, slashes her wrist a zillion times... blah blah.. then of course she has a dysfunctional family with her poor hip-looking mother trying to pull everything together.. blah blah. then in the end her fren's mother and tracy's mother and the two teenagers meet up after they discover the drugs in tracy's room... then they decide that the two girls should never meet again and tracy finally realises that her mum loves her (albiet after much name-calling, hurling of abuses, and exchange of accusations heavily punctuated with f**k). aww.

anyway, it was a BAD movie and very predictable. but it made me wonder. is the US really like that? like thirteen year old kids (sec 1!) looking more mature than 18 year olds here? eek. and of course the much talked abt "western values" (or the lack of it) were clearly displayed. have they no morals man... those supposedly 13 year-olds are behaving as such sluts. goodness. then what abt the 18 year-olds there then? or perhaps the movie exaggerates things a bit. but somehow i doubt so. i guess spore is v sheltered. or maybe it's just me. i don't think its that bad a thing, really. so what if the "real world" is filled with teens who are willing to waste their lives away, partying and trying to fit in, to be accepted. in the end it doesn't really matter, does it? they can't go on like that forever. and then they'll be the ones wondering wat to do with their lives when they are left penniless, qualification-less and jobless. too bad.
harsh? perhaps. but thats reality isn't it? the price to pay if they aren't willing to stop wasting their lives away now.

ah well.
should start thinking abt my uni app.
sigh.

Yippee!!!!!!

my boring old blog has gotten a makeover :)

i had an absolutely fantastic day today.
even though i have a raging headache.
perhaps its cos i woke at noon, then proceeded to eat lunch while watching yi tian tu long zi- 3 episodes taking 4 hours, to be exact :) therefore my conclusion is that each episode features 40 mins of adverts, which i obviously fast-forwarded. feels good to be able to watch one episode, watch the trailer for the next episode, then fast-forward to watch the whole of the next episode instead of waiting a whole day for it :)

so that kept me gainfully employed until about 4 pm.
then i realised i still wanted to watch more tv, and allow myself to be swept away in an alternate world and indulge in escapism in its most glaring form.
but who cares.
the headache i got is well worth it.. cos i proceeded to watch Charlie's Angels. yes, you can close ur gaping mouth now. i haven't watched that outdated show yet.. i know i'm lagging lah, but circumstances are such that i can only watch it today. anyway it was nice haha.. they have fantastic bods man.

which reminds me.. i should go jogging soon..

so that (tv, not jogging) kept me engaged till abt 6 pm after which i tuitioned my little brother in science. then we were interrupted my calls of "zhang wuji start already!"
since such a noble task beckoned, we reluctantly left his science textbk behind and dragged our feet to the front of the tv set. ok actually we jumped out of our seat and chionged down the steps and plopped on the sofa.

hehe and so i got to watch my fourth episode of zhang wuji for today :) whaha can't wait for tomorrow :) then maybe he can be with zhao min at last :)

i like happy endings. therefore i don't watch sad/soppy/sappy/obviously-with-a-tragic-ending/ tear-inducing/heart-tugging shows. and horror shows. eek.

and there are a trillion movies i wanna watch!!
but i have to begin writing my essays for uni app :(

i think lihao started on thurs night loh.. stressed :/
haiz.
i was at bk on thurs night when she asked me abt ucas. which i obviously hadn't completed.
finally completed it just now in between watching zhang wuji haha :)

received my stanford app in the mail liao... yay!! :)
now i only have to start on it.. grr.. :(

post prelims

time to stone.
chem paper was forgetable.
can't remember wat it was like, only that i did it in a state of half-sleepness.

oh well
but i do thank God for leading me through the whole tiring period

" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

YAY!!!

free at last.
nuff said.

had lunch w the class at cafe cartel today.
most of us went.. only like 3 or 4 didn't.. thats good!!
had a good time- enjoyed myself during lunch.. enjoyed the company more than the food which wasn't fantastic haha.
then a mmost embarrassing thing happened after lunch. really thank lihao and especially oiying for helping me slavage the situation.. Thank You!!!

went shopping w oiying after that.. bought nail polish, rubber stamps and a nice nice shirt yay :)
then went to rent a nice nice brainless fluffy book - The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger.
v insightful haha.. classic chick lit.

going out again tmr evening. yay!
happy.
can sleep in.
no more mugging.
who cares abt bio s prelims on wed.
i don't.

haiz
sobz
screwed up bio prac
the first time
and it had to be fore prelims
wattheheck
just pray i can pass

prelims haven't been too good
sad.
haiz
and i can't finish mugging for next week
argh

clouds

i think clouds are beautiful.
was just mugging when my mind drifted away (yet again) and i happened to look out of the window.
and then i saw it.
a delightful collection of big big puffy clouds. since it was abt 6 pm, the clouds were tinted a palest shade of peach with the slightest tint of pink.
the clouds looked so nice and fluffy... wished i could just go all the away up in to the stratosphere (or watever-sphere) and sit there in the clouds.
but that isn't too possible.
observing the clouds from my humble abode on earth, i realised the wonder of God's creation. when pple read "the heavens declare Your wonder" they think about stars and planets and the night sky (which i love). but i think the verse refers to clouds as well. just look at the many many shapes, sizes and textures that they come in; who can forget the miriad of amazing colours that God uses to colour them?
indeed, clouds are a manifestation of God's perfection, a testimonial of His handiwork.

God is awesome :)

chem prac wasn't too good
screwed up the first titration before i started
over-shot on the volumetric/graduated/250 cm3 flas when i added distilled water too generously.. then had to redo..then the lab ran out of distilled water.. then mr wong had to go to another lab to get it.. wasted to much time argh
the 2nd expt was ok.. but my pts on the graph paper were like stars in the night sky- scattered
the 3rd expt was fun man... didn't know wat i was doing.. added reagents randomly for the design expt.. then imagined that hydrogen was evolved... yay.
but on the whole still ok lah... cos everyone was killed too haha

the prelims have officially started
haiz
GP today.
wrote on science and tech
as usual
but the difference is that i actually could give solid examples (which is a good thing)
but i only use the word "relevant" twice (which is a very bad thing when the question asks "how relevant")
so now i'm feeling very sad.
sob.
and i had 15 minutes for my AQ, which i hope i didn't screw up.
sad.

but must look on the bright side.
there seems to be none.
well i'm still alive..thats a good thing.. and i've got a loving family, food, clothes and a roof over my head.
thats many many things to be thankful for.
yep i'm very blessed i think.
and wats more i'm not half deaf anymore... woke up half deaf today (no idea why) but now i can hear again. yay.

"This is the day that the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it"