family update

First a giant THANK YOU!  I simply cannot believe the number of encouraging and supportive messages I got yesterday (mostly through IG direct messages).  You guys know how to make a person feel good.  I truly had no idea that many of you really missed our blog.

I thought I'd give a family update here since many of you said you really miss that. It's long.

(this was at the MFA Houston Bambu exhibit this summer)

Dave doesn't have social media so I try to keep his profile low but he doing well.  He is golfing a bit, fishing and working.  He travels to Spain and France and Israel for work sometimes.

 (Will leaving for his junior year of college in August)

Will is in his 3rd year of college and doing really well. He turned 21 this summer and we celebrated in PA (post to come). He is in a fraternity which I have mixed feelings about but I think he has found a really healthy balance of activities in college.  He is majoring in Environmental Earth Science and Sustainability.  He also has a focus (maybe a minor) in Geology and is usually on the Dean's list. He works in a biology lab doing limnology research.  I don't know exactly what he does but it involves plankton and larvae and water:)  He is involved in some Christian groups on campus and is a Scholar Leader this year. This January he will be doing a J-term study abroad in Italy.  As a science major, he could not really do a semester abroad because they do not offer the courses/labs he needs but this should be a fun experience for him.  He will be in Rome with a short trip to Florence.  He is looking for a summer internship for 2019 in Environmental Science or Sustainability and is willing to go anywhere for the opportunity.  So, let me know if you know of any!  It is hard to find internships in that field. I am so incredibly proud of the man he has become.

(A fabulous event Harry planned and put on last Spring)

Harry is doing great. He finished his 10th and final year at Camp Ozark this summer and had a blast.  That place is etched deep in his heart. He is a senior at an all boy college prep school and ready to get on to his next adventure.  Lots of you asked about his migraines. They are pretty much gone.  He will get one occasionally but overall they are rare.  He has become an incredible photographer and focuses mostly on music/concert photography.  He is also still an entrepreneur and has so many fabulous business ideas going.  Harry is my kid who really did not like reading but once he found books on building businesses and marketing etc, he has his nose in a book a lot. He has applied to 8 colleges (UT, Baylor, Loyola New Orleans, Tulane, Loyola Marymount, University of San Diego, USC and University of Santa Clara).  He is super smart and I think he will have some great choices.  He refused to apply to any of the excellent business schools up north because he hates the cold! I truly cannot believe he will be gone in 10 months but he never really loved high school and is wise beyond his years.  College will be so good for him.

(Harry went to Seaside this summer with another family and lots of friends.)


(Kate's elementary school graduation)

Kate is in middle school and very busy.  As many of you know she quit competitive gymnastics and it turned out to be a great decision (going to write a post on this soon).  She ended up going back to dance and has just flourished.  Last Spring, she was invited to participate in a photography class through Rice University and loved it.  She is doing magnet dance, art and gymnastics at her school and she wants to join everything!  She dances at our local studio and auditioned for the company this year and made it.  She is in 4 company dances this year so she is at the studio 6 days a week.  I was very hesitant for her to dance so much but it is about 11 hours a week which is HALF the time she was in the gym.  She manages it well with homework and has all A's. She really loves dance and there is none of the pressure that stressed her out in gymnastics. She has a fabulous group of girls she dances with and they are all friends. She is so happy.  She still loves to bake but I don't love all that sugar in our house so we have cut down on that a little bit.  She bakes for friends and has a few "customers" who pay her for cookies etc.  She loves to read and is just a happy 12 year old.

(Scout is good too.  She is almost 12 years old so slowing down a bit but such a sweet dog)

I am pretty good.  I actually had a very rough year.  I won't go into specifics but I got very very sick after Hurricane Harvey.  I lost weight, couldn't eat and had some serious infections.  I have worked really hard to get myself healthy again.  I had some relapses and setbacks but I am doing well.  I work part time in my office a few blocks from home seeing clients for marriage, relationship, parenting and life coaching/counseling.  I also speak about once a month at schools, churches and other organizations on Parenting and Family and Marriage.  My most popular talks this year are on Technology and Kids and Boundaries in families. I love my job.  There is no better feeling than knowing you are helping someone make their family or marriage stronger.  And I have the best clients.  I am also in a few book clubs that I really enjoy, a fabulous women's prayer group that meets once a week and I still go to Bar Method for exercise.  I try to go about 3-4 days a week but with my health issues it has been sporadic this year.

So that is where we all are today.  As I proofread, I realized that it sounds like a lot of bragging about my kids.  Let me add...we have our fair share of talking back and anxiety and mood swings and other problems in our house.  We do.  I definitely am sharing the ups here.  And for the most part, these kids are pretty easy and I am super proud of them in their own unique ways.


So far people have said they want to see recipes, fashion, family updates and parenting topics.  Let me know in the comments if you have other suggestions for blogging topics.

it's camp time again

We dropped Kate and Harry off at the bus for camp this morning.  Will had his last year in 2014 so he is finished with camp (which is kinda sad).  This place is so special to my kids.  They absolutely LOVE it there.  Neither of them knew a soul going this session this year.  Kate confidently got on that bus by herself and sat alone with all smiles.  And that is one of the reasons I love camp. My kids gain this independence and confidence that I could not teach them alone.

You know I always love to take photos at the drop off.  My boys HATE it but last night we sat here and looked at all the past years on my computer and had some good laughs (under the label camp).  So in reality they are very happy they have the photos.  However, you will notice fewer photos of Harry.  He is definitely in that teen phase where he hates me taking pictures.

Will got up to say goodbye to them...

It was dark and early!!

But I was not allowed to photograph him and Harry saying goodbye.  I did burn it in my memory though.

Kate's confidence amazes me.  She was not this confident 2 years ago but between having an extra year at school, gymnastics, maturity and this camp, she has grown up so much. She doesn't know anyone going to camp this year.  Harry will be there but he is in a completely different section of camp and they will barely see one another.  They do plan to meet up at the camp store one day for ice cream;)

Gotta make sure they don't have a fever.



Love this one of Dave and Harry.  Go look at how much Harry has changed in one year.

Kate has so much camp spirit.  We painted her nails blue for her team.

She always meets a dog waiting for the bus. She loves dogs.

The goodbyes...

Katie Ru getting on the bus...

She just looked so happy and so comfortable.  She was sitting alone but she was happy.  She started reading her book but would glance up to see if we were still there.

I got a message that the busses arrived at camp safely. Thank you Lord.  So, they are likely eating dinner and having the first party.  They have parties every night at camp!  I will be stalking the website for photos as I always do:)

I actually am enjoying the quiet and the freedom though.  Dave, Will and I went out for a nice brunch and then I napped and lazed around.  I have some cleaning/purging plans but I also plan to enjoy my time this week not driving carpools to lacrosse camp or gymnastics.  It feels weird but kind of good.

* I am catching up on posts this week, so if you did not see my last one, it was on Will's 18th b-day.

Winding down and moving up!

This time of year is so busy with end of year activities and it is even busier when people are graduating or getting ready to change schools (dances, parties, field days, awards and promotion ceremonies). So, this post is all over the place but  it's a re-cap of some of our end of year activities so far.

Well, here we are and Harry will be finished middle school next week.  I am SO GLAD!  I don't usually wish away years or phases. Typically,  I try to enjoy each stage of parenting as it comes my way.  But I will say that having gone through it twice, I think middle school can be really rough.  Harry was plagued with stress and migraines in 6th grade and it was such a hard year for us.  He even transferred schools in October of 6th grade.  There were days that I was not sure we would make it.

But he did.  He managed to get through with straight A's even though he missed a ton of school due to illness in 6th and 7th grades.  He also took the most advanced classes available.  He played three years of lacrosse and was a real leader on and off the field.  And he was a good friend to others. He was also in the National Junior Honor Society. And finally,  I have loved working in the school store with him every Wednesday morning for the past 3 years.

This past weekend was the 8th grade dance.  Harry is not one who usually likes things like this but he had fun with his friends.  They are all going to different high schools so this was bittersweet.

And I took these pictures before the dance....

I am really thrilled that all three of our kids are well rounded and involved kids.  But, it makes it extra hard this time of year to get to all of their events/recitals/games.  Dave and I often have to divide and conquer (as most parents do). And sometimes we don't make it to everything.

Will just finished up water polo season and I am very proud of him.  He was really a leader on his team this year and one of the captains.  He has made so much progress in the last few years.  Often his games are at the time of day when I am picking up Kate from school or driving gymnastics carpool.  Often they are very far away too.  So between gymnastics, violin and lacrosse, I did not make as many of Will's water polo games this season as I would have liked to.  I am going to work really hard next year to get to more of them.  I really like watching him play.

Love this shot of Will about to score.  

He played really well this weekend and was happy to see us all there cheering him on.

I  think their teams took 2nd and 3rd in the championship tournament.

Kate had her violin recital a few weeks ago and it was awesome.  I cannot believe how far she has come. She trains 16 hours a week in the gym every single week for her gymnastics team now. So with homework, there is not a lot of time left for violin.  Her teacher schedules her group lesson for Kate's day off from the gym and Kate has the drive and determination to stick with it.  I am not sure how much longer she will be able to do that.

I did not video the recital because I just wanted to watch and for her to see my smiling face NOT the back of a phone.  But I did ask her to play a little Ode to Joy before the concert.  I posted it here on Instagram.

And Harry had his last regular season lacrosse game. It rained so I did not get a chance to take many photos.

That is Harry front and center #18.


Finally, Will had his Junior Ring and Cross Mass.

Kate could not go because it was her last CCE class before First Holy Communion.

We love Father Bravo.  He has been an awesome mentor to Will the past few years.  We are sad he is leaving Jesuit this year for an assignment in Puerto Rico.

Will has an awesome group of friends at his high school.

They are all really fabulous. accomplished, good guys.  I feel blessed that they are his friends.

Although his friends all ordered a high school ring, Will decided not to get one.  He LOVES his school but he did not think he'd ever wear the ring.  And he is probably right.  I am glad he was practical about it because none of his friends have worn their rings since they got them.

But they all got a beautiful handmade wood cross that they hang from their car mirror (his friend is holding the cross two photos up).  And they officially became seniors along with the privileges (going off campus for lunch).  It was a beautiful Mass and I teared up quite a few times thinking about his senior year and graduation.

I think I need a nap now;)  This week, we have Harry's powder puff lax game and field day, a field trip for Kate, her end of year gymnastics party and some award ceremonies.  I am looking forward to summer!

Around here

This post is one of those all over the place random updates of life in our house right now and it is long.  But these are little things that I want to remember...

I am not one to typically binge watch TV at all.  I don't have big blocks of time between work and home life.  However, last week my sister told me about this show called Married at First Sight.  Four experts look at extensive data and match three couples.  The first time they meet is at their wedding.  They have a wedding, a reception,  honeymoon, move in together and try to make it work. It is absolutely fascinating.

I have had my PhD in marriage and family communication for 22 years.  I taught for many years at the college level on gender and communication, relational communication, marriage and family.  Now, I am in private practice helping engaged and married couples navigate the challenges of their relationships.  So, this show is made for me.  I LOVE it.  Season 2 is currently airing but I loved it so much I bought Season 1 on Amazon to watch (Married at First Sight Season 1).  And I watched almost the whole season this week in every spare second I had.

I seriously cannot recommend this show enough if you like relationships like I do.  I absolutely LOVE my job.  I love helping people figure out how to be better partners to one another and this show hi-lights the ups and downs that we all have in marriage.  It focuses on the most important thing though...the commitment to keep doing the WORK.  I see that over and over in my office.  The couples who do the work, make it.  The couples who don't are miserable.  I have said it a million times on this blog but Love is a decision and an action every single day.  And it is interesting to watch that play out on this docu-series as well.

Now I am watching Married at First- The First Year.  These episodes follow the couples from the 6 month though 1 year phase for the couples that stayed together.  It is on demand in some places.

My work is really good.  I try to maintain a pretty small practice so that I can still have time to exercise, meet a friend for lunch once in a while and be involved at the kids' schools.  But it is so hard to find that perfect balance.  Some weeks, I have just a few clients and some weeks I am crazy busy (like this week).  I am really trying to work more because I love it so much but juggling everything part time can be stressful at times.  As many of you know, you often end up feeling like you aren't doing anything as well as you'd like to.  And every time I meet with clients, I am reminded of ways that I can be a better Mom and wife too (which is a good thing).  If you need marriage/parenting/life coaching, feel free to reach out to me (khswales@comcast.net).  I do phone or Skype appointments if you are not in the Houston area.

Will is taking he ACT again today.  It will be the last time he takes it.  He already has a great score but he wanted to take it one more time just to see if he could get another point or two for scholarships. This summer he will take a workshop for writing his college essays and in the Fall he will apply to the colleges of his choice.  I really cannot believe we are at this point in life with him.  The other day, we got the tuition bill for his senior year and there was a cap and gown/gradutaion fee!  I admit that I teared up when I read that.  He turns 18 in June.  My first born son becomes a legal adult.  I know people say it all the time but it really has gone by so fast. I am SO proud of the man he is becoming.

I know a lot of young women without kids or Moms with very young kids read this blog.  Cherish the moments at each and every stage of childhood because they are so fleeting.  Even the tough stages will be ones you look back at with a smile, I promise.

Kate is getting ready to make her first holy communion and she is SO excited.  She really embraces her faith and takes it quite seriously.  A few weeks ago in Sunday school, she learned about Saint Maximilian Kolbe.  He was a Polish man who became a Franciscan priest and gave his life for another man in a Auschwitz.  Kate became so fascinated with his life.  So, when she had to pick an important figure in history to do a report about, she chose him.  Kate attends a public school so her classmates are researching figures like Abe Lincoln, Elvis Presley, Harriet Tubman etc.  But Kate really wanted to do her report on this not very well known Saint (Mother Theresa was her second choice).  I am so grateful for a loving teacher who is encouraging Kate to follow her heart and her faith.  The biography we are reading (together) is WAY above her level of comprehension.  Heck, it is difficult for me and Dave in some parts. But she is really committed to learning as much she can about this incredible Christian man.

When I thanked Kate's teacher for being supportive she said she was not surprised at all that Kate chose a Saint.  She said, "Kate is so Catholic. I see it in her everyday the way she acts, they way she answers questions, the way she got so excited when we learned about Mother Theresa."  Her comment made my heart leap with joy because to me your faith is not something you simply believe but it is the way you act toward others.

One more little update on Katie Ru.  This girl is obsessed with crafting.  She makes these little boxes out of cardstock.  I wish I had photos of some of the more unique ones she has made.  In her spare time, she looks up knitting patterns and these box patterns and she crafts and crafts and crafts. She will literally spend an entire Saturday making stuff.  All she wants for her birthday is crafting supplies:) I love the coupons at Hobby Lobby and Michaels:)

Harry is finishing up 8th grade!  He has about a month left of middle school and then graduation.  YEAH!  So far, I think the middle school years are the toughest years of growing up. It is such a difficult time for kids and their parents. Sixth grade was incredibly difficult for Harry (and me) and you could not pay me all the money in the world to do middle school again right now (glad Kate has a few years!)  This year has been great though and I know he has mixed feeling about starting all over at a new school.  I think he is nervous yet excited.  Harry is finishing middle school with straight A's and straight E's for all three years!  And he has taken several advanced classes.  This year he has 10th grade geometry (in 8th grade) and high school Spanish and Journalism.  If he were going to public school, he would be entering with 5-6 high school credits already.

This week he finishes up his lacrosse season at his school too.  He has been a key player all three years. The lacrosse program had lapsed at his middle school and a Dad got it going again 3 years ago--  just as Harry entered middle school. Harry stepped in and started as a team captain and he has been a captain all 3 years.  He is hoping to play high school lacrosse too.  

Also, I am not sure if you noticed but Harry and a HUGE growth spurt (easter pics here).  Harry has always been below the 5th percentile in height and weight and he has had health issues too~ I mean his WHOLE life.  Some years he was not even on the charts.  At his check up a few weeks ago, he was in the 11t percentile for weight and the 13th percentile for height.  That is HUGE for him.  His pediatrician (the one who was there on the day he was born) was so happy.  And so were we.

For the last 3 years, Harry and I have volunteered in the school store every Wednesday morning at his middle school  It was an awesome experience. And it is something that just he and I shared.  I cannot put into words how much I am going to miss those Wednesday mornings with him (and the other Mom and son we have worked with for the last year and half).  I am going to get a photo of us together in the next week or two of us in the school store because I really want to always remember those times.

Of course, I don't have photos of the boys because truth be told, they are rarely around these days.  They're always off with friends (which I guess is good).

Okay, that is my long update about me and the peanuts.    I also want to share a discount code with y'all.  I got an email that it is friends and family weekend at Loft.

I have my eye on these...

shorts

And finally, don't forget about the Lilly Pulitzer launch tomorrow at Target!  Everything looks so cute!  You can actually heart or favorite things and then when the sales launches and midnight or 1 am you can check out faster.  Click below to see the whole collection and heart items.

I have my expectations set very low because I think it is all going to sell out quickly.