If I could only use one word to describe the year 2010 it would be this: pain. This was the year that threw me for a loop, things intensified, and it made my life a living hell.
Contemplating the year, I can't help but wonder if my weight-loss woes were not related to the fact that my hormones were all screwed up. From what I'm learning, if one is screwed up, they all are.
The year wasn't all bad, and I learned I am much stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. I learned I do have what it takes to keep going, to continue to strive to make my life-my health better. I'm one tough bird.
Yes, I rock. (If I do say so myself.) (That's not arrogance, it's confidence.)
New Year Resolutions? I have none. Keep on doing what I have been doing.
New Year Hopes? To have a hysterectomy and get rid of this pain once and for all. To become athletic, to work out like a fiend because I love it. To laugh, to love and to find peace.
Best gift of 2010 to myself from myself: My now-large collection of exercise DVDs, weights, BPM music from Collage and some goodies from Anna Benson: original FIRM ankle weights, old FIRM catalogs--only a FIRM fanatic (or collector) could understand that!, a dowel and foam wedge from Anna Benson's collection, and a Susan Harris key chain which I use. The bestest (yes, I know that's not a word) is about 11 music CDs that came from Anna Benson's personal collection. Some of her notes were left on them, stickers stating, "Fast Cheetah, Strong Bear" good beat, doodles, etc. I cherish these. The music is fantastic--Anna had a gift of music and I am thrilled with this and in fact, I'm listening to my "Firm music" playlist right now.
I now own every single workout Anna ever sold, FIRMS, FitPrimes and KickButts. Love them to pieces! Now if God would grant me my health back, I plan to put them to very good use. (I run in spurts with pain, I'm hoping that I'm to have a reprieve soon and can do some of these before another bout hits me.)
If only I could find an original Firm 90-Day Rotation pamphlet, I would be happy with my collection. I'm a goober, I know it. I also know if I find that, there will be something else I'll want. lol
I also have a majority of Cathe's workouts. Again, waiting on my body to give me a green light. Then there's Gin Miller, and Stephanie Huckabee and Jari and Classical Stretch and ....I'm a vidiot, I have my favorite instructors and I love to workout.
At this stage in my life, aside from family, this is what makes me happy. Five years ago I would have never imagined. This is what I want for me in 2011--I want to go, go, go, doing the workouts I love, love, love.
So 2010 was a good year in many ways, but I did always have that dark cloud hanging over my head. I think with the news I received yesterday, that my 2011 is looking extremely hopeful and my wishes will come true. Just need patience and some time.
Patience and time--I'm good at that, even if I whine about it. I am seriously contemplating changing the name of this blog to The Tortoise. The Tortoise wins the race. The Tortoise is also a FIRM workout and a FIRM classification of workouts. Tortoise workouts are mostly strength with some cardio thrown in. It would be the perfect title for me!
Happy New Year to all! May we all be blessed with good health and good fitness.
12.31.2010
12.30.2010
I Have a Diagnosis
Fibroid necrosis. One of my fibroids is dying.
There may be more to it, but what we know for sure now is what the ultrasound showed. The fibroid was black, showing it was dying thus the horrid pain. There are some other issues that upset me but aren't earth shattering.
There are three fibroids, and the one that causes me pain shoots off to the right and I'm wondering if it is hitting the ureter, too. One of the fibroids is pushing on my bladder, which makes me have to go all the time. My uterus goes all the way up to my belly button. I was shocked by that. (It's extra large because of the fibroids.) This office has the most fantastic ultrasound tech I've ever come across, and she answered a million questions for me. Where is this, what is that next to, etc. I now know where all my organs are--plus she showed me my bowel and a bit of the upper belly. Way cool.
I'm sore tonight, have sharp twinges, but am mobile. Hubby and I went to the grocery store after the doctor and I filled that cart with crap. Kraft Mac & Cheese? What in the h-e-double-toothpicks was I thinking? (Yes, that's what I ate for dinner, too.) A loaf of French bread. HUH? Cinnamon rolls for DS for New Years morning. It was pretty damned stupid to go shopping when I was emotional.
Time to get a grip and not eat my emotions. That does not happen to me very often. I'm just feeling a bit frustrated because the severe pain is the same spot it's always been only it's worse now, and I can't help but wonder if it was the fibroid all along. That doesn't make me happy because I have a history with problem fibroids and, well, never mind. I'm not sharing my angry thoughts here.
The good news is I know what's causing the pain and will see the gyno next week. Loved the gal I saw today, professional and she listened. She actually looked at my pain chart! Kudos to her--she's the first one that has. I felt I was heard, and that is half the battle. I did find it, um, amusing that she suggested Ibuprofen for pain. Um, do ya think I haven't tried that? And Aleve? And aspirin? I told her I took ibuprofen just for inflammation purposes and she wants me to continue that and to keep on top of the pain. She asked me what I did for pain and my answer was: I SUFFER. lol Drama queen--but true.
I am feeling angry, frustrated, scared because I can't help but think there's another surgery in my future. I'm also feeling hopeful because damn it all, I want to work out hard, I want to get the rest of this weight off and move forward and be an athlete. I want that as much as I want to be pain free. So I'm an emotional basket case tonight.
Step count will be over 16,000 tonight. Didn't do a workout, but I had lots of nervous energy and have been walking around the house, resting, walking around some more. (Yes, it's called nervous pacing.) It's just more comfortable to get up and move around every so often, too.
~~~~~~~
Also, a great-big thank you to two of my favorite bloggers that reminded me that they did not lose all their weight in a year, one was shy of two years and the other took three. That made me feel SO much better. xoxo
Never give up, it's never too late!
There may be more to it, but what we know for sure now is what the ultrasound showed. The fibroid was black, showing it was dying thus the horrid pain. There are some other issues that upset me but aren't earth shattering.
There are three fibroids, and the one that causes me pain shoots off to the right and I'm wondering if it is hitting the ureter, too. One of the fibroids is pushing on my bladder, which makes me have to go all the time. My uterus goes all the way up to my belly button. I was shocked by that. (It's extra large because of the fibroids.) This office has the most fantastic ultrasound tech I've ever come across, and she answered a million questions for me. Where is this, what is that next to, etc. I now know where all my organs are--plus she showed me my bowel and a bit of the upper belly. Way cool.
I'm sore tonight, have sharp twinges, but am mobile. Hubby and I went to the grocery store after the doctor and I filled that cart with crap. Kraft Mac & Cheese? What in the h-e-double-toothpicks was I thinking? (Yes, that's what I ate for dinner, too.) A loaf of French bread. HUH? Cinnamon rolls for DS for New Years morning. It was pretty damned stupid to go shopping when I was emotional.
Time to get a grip and not eat my emotions. That does not happen to me very often. I'm just feeling a bit frustrated because the severe pain is the same spot it's always been only it's worse now, and I can't help but wonder if it was the fibroid all along. That doesn't make me happy because I have a history with problem fibroids and, well, never mind. I'm not sharing my angry thoughts here.
The good news is I know what's causing the pain and will see the gyno next week. Loved the gal I saw today, professional and she listened. She actually looked at my pain chart! Kudos to her--she's the first one that has. I felt I was heard, and that is half the battle. I did find it, um, amusing that she suggested Ibuprofen for pain. Um, do ya think I haven't tried that? And Aleve? And aspirin? I told her I took ibuprofen just for inflammation purposes and she wants me to continue that and to keep on top of the pain. She asked me what I did for pain and my answer was: I SUFFER. lol Drama queen--but true.
I am feeling angry, frustrated, scared because I can't help but think there's another surgery in my future. I'm also feeling hopeful because damn it all, I want to work out hard, I want to get the rest of this weight off and move forward and be an athlete. I want that as much as I want to be pain free. So I'm an emotional basket case tonight.
Step count will be over 16,000 tonight. Didn't do a workout, but I had lots of nervous energy and have been walking around the house, resting, walking around some more. (Yes, it's called nervous pacing.) It's just more comfortable to get up and move around every so often, too.
~~~~~~~
Also, a great-big thank you to two of my favorite bloggers that reminded me that they did not lose all their weight in a year, one was shy of two years and the other took three. That made me feel SO much better. xoxo
Never give up, it's never too late!
Wednesday Recap
Step count: 16,943
Miles: 7.18
Calorie Burn: 2365
Woke up feeling better, "the pain" was gone, but replaced with bladder pain. The new pain is much easier to deal with, but still stabs. Called the doctor and got an appointment for tomorrow. I'm wondering if this whole pain thing isn't gyno related at all, but rather kidney/bladder/something else entirely. I have in my mind that I have kidney stones. That was brought up in the ER, but I have no back pain. Who knows. Taking DH with me and planning on being aggressive. (I'm so not aggressive, so will really try hard. I'm tired of this.)
Managed to do a video today, Gin Miller's Ramping Cardio Express. It's kind of like a step video, but not really. She uses a ramp, and when I use anything, I use my slanted risers and step bench. Today I just pretended it was a Leslie video and did the whole thing on the floor. Felt SOOO good to move, even though it was short duration. Total Fitness DVDs had these Ramping videos on sale dirt cheap awhile back and I bought all of them. No regrets at all, as they're very pleasant and have lovely music. When I use a step bench with them, I actually get a very good calorie burn and intensity rating with my fitbit.
We took down all our Christmas stuff today. DH mentioned it made him sad. DS didn't say anything. I just wanted clutter to be gone and my living room back to normal. That is SO not like me--I usually have it up after Thanksgiving and take it down on New Year's Day. I just don't want Monday to hit with a pile of work, school to start, and me burning the candle at both ends.
Adding blogs back slowly to the new Bloglines. I got reminded why I backed off on reading so many. I'm very, very happy for the bloggers that are having great success! But--but--but I turn it inward and it makes me very sad. I've been working my @$$ off and not seeing the same rewards. How can that be that I am so happy for someone yet it makes me sad about my journey at the same time?! How can it be that I've been at this almost 2 years, rarely cheat, exercise to the best of my ability, and yet I haven't even lost 100 pounds yet? Throwing a bit of a temper tantrum here. Damn it all.
Put a great quote at the top of my blog. It was just SO me. I keep plugging away at this despite everything. Never give up. Here's the quote: Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use. ~Earl Nightingale Isn't that great? Fits me so well--me, the tortoise.
Miles: 7.18
Calorie Burn: 2365
Woke up feeling better, "the pain" was gone, but replaced with bladder pain. The new pain is much easier to deal with, but still stabs. Called the doctor and got an appointment for tomorrow. I'm wondering if this whole pain thing isn't gyno related at all, but rather kidney/bladder/something else entirely. I have in my mind that I have kidney stones. That was brought up in the ER, but I have no back pain. Who knows. Taking DH with me and planning on being aggressive. (I'm so not aggressive, so will really try hard. I'm tired of this.)
Managed to do a video today, Gin Miller's Ramping Cardio Express. It's kind of like a step video, but not really. She uses a ramp, and when I use anything, I use my slanted risers and step bench. Today I just pretended it was a Leslie video and did the whole thing on the floor. Felt SOOO good to move, even though it was short duration. Total Fitness DVDs had these Ramping videos on sale dirt cheap awhile back and I bought all of them. No regrets at all, as they're very pleasant and have lovely music. When I use a step bench with them, I actually get a very good calorie burn and intensity rating with my fitbit.
We took down all our Christmas stuff today. DH mentioned it made him sad. DS didn't say anything. I just wanted clutter to be gone and my living room back to normal. That is SO not like me--I usually have it up after Thanksgiving and take it down on New Year's Day. I just don't want Monday to hit with a pile of work, school to start, and me burning the candle at both ends.
Adding blogs back slowly to the new Bloglines. I got reminded why I backed off on reading so many. I'm very, very happy for the bloggers that are having great success! But--but--but I turn it inward and it makes me very sad. I've been working my @$$ off and not seeing the same rewards. How can that be that I am so happy for someone yet it makes me sad about my journey at the same time?! How can it be that I've been at this almost 2 years, rarely cheat, exercise to the best of my ability, and yet I haven't even lost 100 pounds yet? Throwing a bit of a temper tantrum here. Damn it all.
Put a great quote at the top of my blog. It was just SO me. I keep plugging away at this despite everything. Never give up. Here's the quote: Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use. ~Earl Nightingale Isn't that great? Fits me so well--me, the tortoise.
12.29.2010
Tuesday Finale
According to my fitbit:
steps: 11,634
miles: 4.93
calorie burn: 2098
All those steps were Tim Conway steps--but I hit my goal. I really wanted 10,000 steps today come hell or high water, and by golly, I did it. Plus some.
~~~
Two books arrived in the mail today. I ordered three books on metabolism and hormones. I've been trying to read, but haven't made much headway today. Will share anything earth shattering that I come across--if I find any such thing.
~~~
Hoping I feel better tomorrow so we can put the decorations away and get back to normal. Plus, the house needs a good cleaning. I have my fingers crossed. I could always bark orders and DH and DS--ha!
~~~
Before Christmas, I declared us stuck in a rut food wise. We seem to eat the same thing over and over and over. It's boring. So once again, I'm on the lookout for good recipes. This will take awhile and it's difficult to find things all three of us will eat.
~~~
Really trying to get back into the land of blogs--reading others'. I have always read through bloglines. Well, they were going to close down, then someone else took them over, and I just transferred all my feeds to the new owners and just my luck, I lost about 75% of my blogs. So I started going through Google Reader and I immediately found several blogs that were defunct and taken down or else hadn't updated in so long. That made me feel so sad. This journey is so tough. While I neglect my blog, I've never wanted to shut it down. My husband says that my blog has been the magic bullet in getting me through this journey--and he's right. So I'll slowly be adding blogs back to my reader. If you leave a comment, I can add your blog back in much more quickly!
~~~
Today I had laughter, shed a few tears, enjoyed some tender-loving care from my loved ones, got kisses from my puppies and tried my best to relax. So while things weren't perfect, I certainly felt love from everyone. That is priceless.
~~~
steps: 11,634
miles: 4.93
calorie burn: 2098
All those steps were Tim Conway steps--but I hit my goal. I really wanted 10,000 steps today come hell or high water, and by golly, I did it. Plus some.
~~~
Two books arrived in the mail today. I ordered three books on metabolism and hormones. I've been trying to read, but haven't made much headway today. Will share anything earth shattering that I come across--if I find any such thing.
~~~
Hoping I feel better tomorrow so we can put the decorations away and get back to normal. Plus, the house needs a good cleaning. I have my fingers crossed. I could always bark orders and DH and DS--ha!
~~~
Before Christmas, I declared us stuck in a rut food wise. We seem to eat the same thing over and over and over. It's boring. So once again, I'm on the lookout for good recipes. This will take awhile and it's difficult to find things all three of us will eat.
~~~
Really trying to get back into the land of blogs--reading others'. I have always read through bloglines. Well, they were going to close down, then someone else took them over, and I just transferred all my feeds to the new owners and just my luck, I lost about 75% of my blogs. So I started going through Google Reader and I immediately found several blogs that were defunct and taken down or else hadn't updated in so long. That made me feel so sad. This journey is so tough. While I neglect my blog, I've never wanted to shut it down. My husband says that my blog has been the magic bullet in getting me through this journey--and he's right. So I'll slowly be adding blogs back to my reader. If you leave a comment, I can add your blog back in much more quickly!
~~~
Today I had laughter, shed a few tears, enjoyed some tender-loving care from my loved ones, got kisses from my puppies and tried my best to relax. So while things weren't perfect, I certainly felt love from everyone. That is priceless.
~~~
12.28.2010
Do Your Best, Always
Last night I felt so hopeful, so inspired. Then I had a severe pain wave hit. It was intense, lasted about an hour and a half, and was so bad I cried out several times. Then the waves disappeared and it was just the dull pain. Woke up this morning with the dull pain, then had a pain wave that lasted about 45 minutes. Hope shatters when this happens, yet I know it will ease--it always does.
The thing is, if this is the life God has destined for me, that doesn't mean I have to wallow in self-pity. Yes, I do wallow in self-pity--that's my nature, but I still keep the eye on the prize. In between all this, I force myself to get out of bed and move around. Now I may be moving at Tim Conway's shuffle pace, but I move. I have just over 5000 steps in today, and that's pretty wonderful considering that I have accomplished nothing and felt like garbage all day long.
Why do I do that? Because I'm worth it. No, I'm not jogging, not running, not walking a fast clip. I'm not flying in the air on my rebounder, I'm not doing step aerobics, and I'm not lifting weights. I slowly put one foot in front of another and move my body--because I can. It helps, too. If you've ever been in bed all day you know how stiff you get, how your body aches. Moving around helps tremendously.
So I may not even be able to do an easy Leslie Sansone walking DVD today--not even close, but I do my best. I'm proud of that.
So we may feel like, um, poop, but there's always something we can do. Always. Hope may shatter, but the spark is always there and doing whatever we can keeps that spark alive.
I've exercised today to the best of my ability. Have you?
The thing is, if this is the life God has destined for me, that doesn't mean I have to wallow in self-pity. Yes, I do wallow in self-pity--that's my nature, but I still keep the eye on the prize. In between all this, I force myself to get out of bed and move around. Now I may be moving at Tim Conway's shuffle pace, but I move. I have just over 5000 steps in today, and that's pretty wonderful considering that I have accomplished nothing and felt like garbage all day long.
Why do I do that? Because I'm worth it. No, I'm not jogging, not running, not walking a fast clip. I'm not flying in the air on my rebounder, I'm not doing step aerobics, and I'm not lifting weights. I slowly put one foot in front of another and move my body--because I can. It helps, too. If you've ever been in bed all day you know how stiff you get, how your body aches. Moving around helps tremendously.
So I may not even be able to do an easy Leslie Sansone walking DVD today--not even close, but I do my best. I'm proud of that.
So we may feel like, um, poop, but there's always something we can do. Always. Hope may shatter, but the spark is always there and doing whatever we can keeps that spark alive.
I've exercised today to the best of my ability. Have you?
12.27.2010
Christmas
Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. We did.
I went off the diet for three days. I rarely cheat, but I did this last year for only two days and was able to get back immediately, so I tried it for three days.
The result? Stuffed French Toast Casserole, Lasagna, French bread, and a few cookies made me SICK, SICK, SICK.
Finally, this evening, my tummy has settled.
SO Not worth it. Yuck.
Santa brought me a bunch of videos which I'm excited to try. Also got two bokken to use with my Forza DVDs that I got. Haven't tried any yet due to my pain issues.
I think I'm going to have to throw in the towel and admit the fact that I have chronic pain, will probably always have chronic pain, and learn to live with it. I'm not happy, but I'm just not getting the help I need and/or they don't know what it is. This doesn't mean I'm giving up hope, I just need to accept it and get on with life. Damn it all. It is what it is (overused phrase, yet appropriate here.) This also means my exercise, which I love with all my heart, takes a big hit because there are times it's difficult to walk let alone put in a tough weight or cardio workout.
So....back to the land of blogging. I've neglected this poor old blog for so long. I think I've been angry, been hurting, had my feathers ruffled by my slow weight loss which bruised my pride a bit. When I cheat, I admit it here--and that doesn't happen often. It's another appropriate place for "it is what it is" because there's not much more I can do about the slowness of the weight loss.
So, I'm going to give it my best effort to blog consistently again. For the few that are still reading my blog, if you can think of any questions or something you'd like to know my opinion on, because I'm full of opinion lol!, comment and that will help me come up fill my empty pages and help my mind which draws blank on topics.
I went off the diet for three days. I rarely cheat, but I did this last year for only two days and was able to get back immediately, so I tried it for three days.
The result? Stuffed French Toast Casserole, Lasagna, French bread, and a few cookies made me SICK, SICK, SICK.
Finally, this evening, my tummy has settled.
SO Not worth it. Yuck.
Santa brought me a bunch of videos which I'm excited to try. Also got two bokken to use with my Forza DVDs that I got. Haven't tried any yet due to my pain issues.
I think I'm going to have to throw in the towel and admit the fact that I have chronic pain, will probably always have chronic pain, and learn to live with it. I'm not happy, but I'm just not getting the help I need and/or they don't know what it is. This doesn't mean I'm giving up hope, I just need to accept it and get on with life. Damn it all. It is what it is (overused phrase, yet appropriate here.) This also means my exercise, which I love with all my heart, takes a big hit because there are times it's difficult to walk let alone put in a tough weight or cardio workout.
So....back to the land of blogging. I've neglected this poor old blog for so long. I think I've been angry, been hurting, had my feathers ruffled by my slow weight loss which bruised my pride a bit. When I cheat, I admit it here--and that doesn't happen often. It's another appropriate place for "it is what it is" because there's not much more I can do about the slowness of the weight loss.
So, I'm going to give it my best effort to blog consistently again. For the few that are still reading my blog, if you can think of any questions or something you'd like to know my opinion on, because I'm full of opinion lol!, comment and that will help me come up fill my empty pages and help my mind which draws blank on topics.
12.09.2010
How I Get So Many Steps Per Day
When I feel well, I have a very high average daily step count. Currently, my average is 21,578 steps per day. Some people have asked me how I am able to do this consistently.
First off, sometimes I'm not able to. It depends on whether or not I'm having pain and the severity of the pain. I can keep the count up pretty well, but not hit 20,000 when I'm having pain issues. Sometimes it's very low, but I'm learning how to move my body better when I'm in pain.
So here's my list of how I do it:
1. Bought a FitBit. This is the best thing on earth to me, and I wish I would have had it since the start of my journey. Check out their website. This tracks steps, mileage and calorie burn. Also, very important, activity level. It also tracks sleep. Love, love, love my FitBit. This is the tool that inspires me to get those high steps. Better than a pedometer for me, it's highly motivating.
2. Start the day with a short walk. I usually walk five to ten minutes right off the bat.
3. I do one or two Leslie Sansone DVDs a day. Every evening, I try to do one of her three-mile videos. According to my FitBit, they're actually two plus miles, not close to three, but it's a nice 45-minute walk.
A 1-Mile Leslie averages 2,000 steps. A 2-mile Leslie averages around 3,500 steps. A 3-mile averages about 4750-5000 steps. A 4-mile averages just above 6,000 steps. The 3-miles are good in that they come in at 45 minutes. That's about my boredom threshold. (These aren't real exciting videos! They are great stress relievers, though, because I can zone and think, letting my mind wander.)
4. My beloved exercise videos. One hour-long step tape usually yields between 6-7,000 steps and high activity level. Strength videos, obviously, don't yield very much at all--but it's still important to do those strength workouts.
5. I don't work outside the home, so I do have more opportunities to get in more steps than those that work. Sorry, one of the few luxuries to my unpaid job.
6. I take breaks and play with the dogs. We have a game where I go outside with them, they bring me a toy, and I kick the toy and then fetch. When they go off to retrieve, I walk a lap around the garage. I do this several times a day and usually average 4-500 steps per game.
7. Become inefficient in the home. My laundry room is in our basement but the bedrooms upstairs. Instead of putting clean clothes in a basket and bringing them up in one trip, I make three trips with an armful. More steps. I have become more inefficient in many ways around the home, all in the name of moving my body more. (Doesn't mean I'm not getting things done, I just take more steps to do it intentionally.)
8. I don't watch a lot of TV, but every Tuesday night you can find me walking in place while watching NCIS. Love the show, and I walk throughout half of the show at least.
9. I quit relying on my son to do little errands around the house. I get off my butt and do them myself now. No more, "Could you bring me X, please."
10. Go to Wal-Mart. If I'm short on steps for the day, I'll head off to Wal-Mart. I average 2-3,000 steps just walking around the store, going up and down aisles. No one has ever noticed me, because I'm pushing a cart and looking at stuff, but I go at a quick pace when I can.
11. Mall walk. In my town, I don't enjoy the mall. I go there for the post office. When I go, though, I do several laps. I've gone a few times just to mall walk. It's not my favorite thing to do, but it gets me out of the house. When we visit the big city, I love to mall walk. It's a huge mall and there's lots to see and I get tons of steps from one lap, but take two or three.
12. I've become very aware of those steps by checking my FitBit on a constant basis, so I get up and move around when I think I need more steps.
13. Sometimes I just dance to a favorite song when it comes on the radio or iPod. I am not a dancer at all, but when no one is watching me, I cut loose. =)
14. Became involved in the FitBit community and met some friends that have much higher averages than I do. Talk about motivating! Surround yourself with what you want to become, you know?
That's it. I am constantly aware. Just get up and move. That's all I do.
First off, sometimes I'm not able to. It depends on whether or not I'm having pain and the severity of the pain. I can keep the count up pretty well, but not hit 20,000 when I'm having pain issues. Sometimes it's very low, but I'm learning how to move my body better when I'm in pain.
So here's my list of how I do it:
1. Bought a FitBit. This is the best thing on earth to me, and I wish I would have had it since the start of my journey. Check out their website. This tracks steps, mileage and calorie burn. Also, very important, activity level. It also tracks sleep. Love, love, love my FitBit. This is the tool that inspires me to get those high steps. Better than a pedometer for me, it's highly motivating.
2. Start the day with a short walk. I usually walk five to ten minutes right off the bat.
3. I do one or two Leslie Sansone DVDs a day. Every evening, I try to do one of her three-mile videos. According to my FitBit, they're actually two plus miles, not close to three, but it's a nice 45-minute walk.
A 1-Mile Leslie averages 2,000 steps. A 2-mile Leslie averages around 3,500 steps. A 3-mile averages about 4750-5000 steps. A 4-mile averages just above 6,000 steps. The 3-miles are good in that they come in at 45 minutes. That's about my boredom threshold. (These aren't real exciting videos! They are great stress relievers, though, because I can zone and think, letting my mind wander.)
4. My beloved exercise videos. One hour-long step tape usually yields between 6-7,000 steps and high activity level. Strength videos, obviously, don't yield very much at all--but it's still important to do those strength workouts.
5. I don't work outside the home, so I do have more opportunities to get in more steps than those that work. Sorry, one of the few luxuries to my unpaid job.
6. I take breaks and play with the dogs. We have a game where I go outside with them, they bring me a toy, and I kick the toy and then fetch. When they go off to retrieve, I walk a lap around the garage. I do this several times a day and usually average 4-500 steps per game.
7. Become inefficient in the home. My laundry room is in our basement but the bedrooms upstairs. Instead of putting clean clothes in a basket and bringing them up in one trip, I make three trips with an armful. More steps. I have become more inefficient in many ways around the home, all in the name of moving my body more. (Doesn't mean I'm not getting things done, I just take more steps to do it intentionally.)
8. I don't watch a lot of TV, but every Tuesday night you can find me walking in place while watching NCIS. Love the show, and I walk throughout half of the show at least.
9. I quit relying on my son to do little errands around the house. I get off my butt and do them myself now. No more, "Could you bring me X, please."
10. Go to Wal-Mart. If I'm short on steps for the day, I'll head off to Wal-Mart. I average 2-3,000 steps just walking around the store, going up and down aisles. No one has ever noticed me, because I'm pushing a cart and looking at stuff, but I go at a quick pace when I can.
11. Mall walk. In my town, I don't enjoy the mall. I go there for the post office. When I go, though, I do several laps. I've gone a few times just to mall walk. It's not my favorite thing to do, but it gets me out of the house. When we visit the big city, I love to mall walk. It's a huge mall and there's lots to see and I get tons of steps from one lap, but take two or three.
12. I've become very aware of those steps by checking my FitBit on a constant basis, so I get up and move around when I think I need more steps.
13. Sometimes I just dance to a favorite song when it comes on the radio or iPod. I am not a dancer at all, but when no one is watching me, I cut loose. =)
14. Became involved in the FitBit community and met some friends that have much higher averages than I do. Talk about motivating! Surround yourself with what you want to become, you know?
That's it. I am constantly aware. Just get up and move. That's all I do.
12.06.2010
Good News/Stupid News
Good news: down 1.5 pounds, total loss to date: 90.5 pounds. Better news: At doctor's office, I weighed 190 in jeans and shoes. She said their scale was extremely accurate. Wow. I was 192 in my birthday suit at home this morning. I'm still using my scale at home as my basis, though, because I don't go to the doctor once a week to weigh in -- consistency counts.
Stupid news: No blood in urine today so we do NOTHING. I kind of see why they want to do nothing, but I'm tired of pussyfooting around and want to get aggressive, dagnabit. So if it happens again, then we do something. Until then, suffer. Was told to make another appointment with my gyno, which I did, but that's not covering all the bases.
I don't drink, but if I did, I would have one now.
Stupid news: No blood in urine today so we do NOTHING. I kind of see why they want to do nothing, but I'm tired of pussyfooting around and want to get aggressive, dagnabit. So if it happens again, then we do something. Until then, suffer. Was told to make another appointment with my gyno, which I did, but that's not covering all the bases.
I don't drink, but if I did, I would have one now.
12.05.2010
Never a Dull Moment
I went to the ER last night. Why? Because I went potty and it was blood. They checked it, and yes, there was blood. I got the lecture that I'm in menopause and it's probably a period so the doctor needed to check that out.
Newsflash: I'm 45 years old. I've been having periods for 35 years. I know when I have them and when I don't. She said, "You were right." I had to bite my tongue and keep from saying: no sh*t.
That's all they did, and since it wasn't an UTI, I was told to see my doctor and get a referral to a urologist. Tomorrow morning I'll call.
I woke up crampy yesterday and it persisted all day. I've been crampy today, too, but there is no *visible* blood. That's just damned scary. Hubby thought I was overreacting, but I needed to get checked out/proof to give to my doctor.
Now to figure this latest turn of events out. sigh Will be taking my data to show my last few cycles and my pain chart and address that, too.
I am getting so down. I just am, can't help it. Pain, weird things happening, pain. Enough already. I feel fine mentally when I'm not having something go on. Situational.
Newsflash: I'm 45 years old. I've been having periods for 35 years. I know when I have them and when I don't. She said, "You were right." I had to bite my tongue and keep from saying: no sh*t.
That's all they did, and since it wasn't an UTI, I was told to see my doctor and get a referral to a urologist. Tomorrow morning I'll call.
I woke up crampy yesterday and it persisted all day. I've been crampy today, too, but there is no *visible* blood. That's just damned scary. Hubby thought I was overreacting, but I needed to get checked out/proof to give to my doctor.
Now to figure this latest turn of events out. sigh Will be taking my data to show my last few cycles and my pain chart and address that, too.
I am getting so down. I just am, can't help it. Pain, weird things happening, pain. Enough already. I feel fine mentally when I'm not having something go on. Situational.
11.29.2010
Neglecting the Old Blog
I've figured out why I've been neglecting the blog.
1) I'm a perfectionist. I'm very upset that I am not at goal by now. For Pete's sake, I am three months away from my two-year anniversary. I just knew I'd be at goal by now. I did everything right. I still do! I count and measure everything, make sure I get enough protein, etc. It's just not meant to be. I'm upset with this and perhaps embarrassed.
I do know that I will get to goal someday, but it bothers me that it's taking so long.
2) The pain. My life seems to be centered around pain. Much of the time, that's all I think about. I know darned well that it's boring reading, negative and not very good blogging material. I feel like all I do is whine. I try very, very hard to keep a cheerful attitude, but sometimes it's just more than I can handle.
3) This is the biggie. This hit me like a ton of bricks when I figured it out. I had no clue, and if anyone would have asked me, I would have said no way. Depression.
I believe I am suffering from situational depression. Right now, sitting here pain free, I'm great. Not depressed at all. However, when that pain starts, I am so down in the dumps that I cry, I feel completely worthless and miserable. Because, well, I am all those things. It's more than humbling when you can't get up and walk without being in pain. When I have the pain it's constant, always there, but I have surges of extreme pain. There have been a few times where I felt the need to go to the ER but could not get up and prepare to leave the house.
Relaxation is key in getting me through the pain. No over the counter meds help at all. My doctors will not prescribe pain meds--which I think is a standard within the gynecological community from my research.
So the depression comes and goes. I took an online depression quiz the other day and some of the items on that test are always present. For example, one area was social. Do you avoid friends? YES I don't read blogs like I used to. I keep to myself and don't share my journey. Sometimes it's just too much.
So that is something I will work on. Exercise helps that tremendously, but when I'm having that stupid pain, exercise is not good. This last bout of pain I was able to keep my step count in the 7 to 8,000 range--which was better than the previous where I had a few days of 2 to 3,000 steps.
So right now what I'm doing is charting every single day what I feel, twinges, pain levels, my cycle. This is all cycle related. I also bought that hormone test kit and I screwed up because you're supposed to take it on the 19th day of your cycle and I miscounted. I was so upset because I have to wait. Once I've taken the test, I will start progesterone cream and hope that helps. My cycles run every three weeks--ugh.
Right now I've got about two good weeks out of the month. During those weeks, my focus is on moving and doing things because I fear I will be laid up soon.
It's killing me not being able to do workouts like I want. That's the worst part. Well, not being there for my family is bad. My husband is wonderful in that he takes over when I have pain spells, he gets groceries and cooks. He made our Thanksgiving dinner. I don't know what I'd do without his help.
So that's it. Depression, pain, and perfectionism.
I think I really need to start blogging my journey again and get back into the land of the living. I also need to start reading blogs faithfully again because you all are so wonderful and inspiring.
Here's to a couple of pain-free weeks for me. I'm ready to kick butt with my beloved workouts. I'm ready to live life to the fullest while I can.
In the meanwhile, if anyone knows of any natural means of pain relief, please share. Relaxation and breathing through it helps the most, but I'm wondering if there are any supplements that may help. I do take Motrin while I'm having pain even though it does nothing just to help with inflammation. Any other suggestions are more than welcome.
1) I'm a perfectionist. I'm very upset that I am not at goal by now. For Pete's sake, I am three months away from my two-year anniversary. I just knew I'd be at goal by now. I did everything right. I still do! I count and measure everything, make sure I get enough protein, etc. It's just not meant to be. I'm upset with this and perhaps embarrassed.
I do know that I will get to goal someday, but it bothers me that it's taking so long.
2) The pain. My life seems to be centered around pain. Much of the time, that's all I think about. I know darned well that it's boring reading, negative and not very good blogging material. I feel like all I do is whine. I try very, very hard to keep a cheerful attitude, but sometimes it's just more than I can handle.
3) This is the biggie. This hit me like a ton of bricks when I figured it out. I had no clue, and if anyone would have asked me, I would have said no way. Depression.
I believe I am suffering from situational depression. Right now, sitting here pain free, I'm great. Not depressed at all. However, when that pain starts, I am so down in the dumps that I cry, I feel completely worthless and miserable. Because, well, I am all those things. It's more than humbling when you can't get up and walk without being in pain. When I have the pain it's constant, always there, but I have surges of extreme pain. There have been a few times where I felt the need to go to the ER but could not get up and prepare to leave the house.
Relaxation is key in getting me through the pain. No over the counter meds help at all. My doctors will not prescribe pain meds--which I think is a standard within the gynecological community from my research.
So the depression comes and goes. I took an online depression quiz the other day and some of the items on that test are always present. For example, one area was social. Do you avoid friends? YES I don't read blogs like I used to. I keep to myself and don't share my journey. Sometimes it's just too much.
So that is something I will work on. Exercise helps that tremendously, but when I'm having that stupid pain, exercise is not good. This last bout of pain I was able to keep my step count in the 7 to 8,000 range--which was better than the previous where I had a few days of 2 to 3,000 steps.
So right now what I'm doing is charting every single day what I feel, twinges, pain levels, my cycle. This is all cycle related. I also bought that hormone test kit and I screwed up because you're supposed to take it on the 19th day of your cycle and I miscounted. I was so upset because I have to wait. Once I've taken the test, I will start progesterone cream and hope that helps. My cycles run every three weeks--ugh.
Right now I've got about two good weeks out of the month. During those weeks, my focus is on moving and doing things because I fear I will be laid up soon.
It's killing me not being able to do workouts like I want. That's the worst part. Well, not being there for my family is bad. My husband is wonderful in that he takes over when I have pain spells, he gets groceries and cooks. He made our Thanksgiving dinner. I don't know what I'd do without his help.
So that's it. Depression, pain, and perfectionism.
I think I really need to start blogging my journey again and get back into the land of the living. I also need to start reading blogs faithfully again because you all are so wonderful and inspiring.
Here's to a couple of pain-free weeks for me. I'm ready to kick butt with my beloved workouts. I'm ready to live life to the fullest while I can.
In the meanwhile, if anyone knows of any natural means of pain relief, please share. Relaxation and breathing through it helps the most, but I'm wondering if there are any supplements that may help. I do take Motrin while I'm having pain even though it does nothing just to help with inflammation. Any other suggestions are more than welcome.
11.28.2010
My First BIG Wow
I went shopping today. I picked up a couple things and then got in line. I recognized the clerk as one of my son's former playmate's mom. When it was my turn I was friendly and said, "Hi, how are you?" She looked at me kind of weird and said fine, thank you, did you find everything okay?
I thought mmm-kay, somebody wake up on the wrong side of the bed? So I paid, she bagged, and as I was leaving, she said, "Wait, are you XYZ's mom?" I said yes. She said, "Wow, you've lost a lot of weight."
She did not even recognize me! I walked out to my car dumbfounded. She didn't even know who I was. I suppose her mind was turning trying to think while she was checking me out and it dawned on her as I was leaving.
It made my day. And the funny part? It was warm and I wanted to wear a sweatshirt hoodie instead of a winter coat, but I don't have one anymore. DH let me borrow his Vikings hoodie, which is a 2XL and it is huge on me. So my true figure didn't even show. (Boy, was I comfy, though!) Do I really look that different?
I did look at clothes, specifically jeans, and I had to, once again, remind myself not to go to the plus-size section. I wonder how long it will take to break that habit.
It boggles my mind that someone didn't recognize me, though. Wow.
I thought mmm-kay, somebody wake up on the wrong side of the bed? So I paid, she bagged, and as I was leaving, she said, "Wait, are you XYZ's mom?" I said yes. She said, "Wow, you've lost a lot of weight."
She did not even recognize me! I walked out to my car dumbfounded. She didn't even know who I was. I suppose her mind was turning trying to think while she was checking me out and it dawned on her as I was leaving.
It made my day. And the funny part? It was warm and I wanted to wear a sweatshirt hoodie instead of a winter coat, but I don't have one anymore. DH let me borrow his Vikings hoodie, which is a 2XL and it is huge on me. So my true figure didn't even show. (Boy, was I comfy, though!) Do I really look that different?
I did look at clothes, specifically jeans, and I had to, once again, remind myself not to go to the plus-size section. I wonder how long it will take to break that habit.
It boggles my mind that someone didn't recognize me, though. Wow.
11.16.2010
Tears of Joy
I cried for 15 minutes straight tonight, so happy for an online friend who had a very special day today. Nothing makes me happier than being able to celebrate a friend's geat success. =) Will elaborate more tomorrow when said friend has made an announcement on said friend's blog.
I'm no longer worried over DH's job. It is what it is. There are no guarantees in life, and there is absolutely no sense in worrying about something which he nor I have any control.
I'm down 1.5 pounds from my last posted weight on my sidebar! 193.5. Another thing I will no longer worry about: my sloooow losses. It is what it is. I KNOW I will get to goal. I had hoped it would be sooner, but it's not. I'll take it no matter what. 89 pounds down.
Looking ahead, I've bounced around goal numbers since I started this journey. I never knew what I wanted my goal weight to be. I put it high, then reduced it a bit. I think I'm aiming for 150, 149 or 148. lol I'll call goal when I get to 150. That's ONLY 43.5 pounds. That's a helluva lot better than 132 to lose! Go me. I'm really hoping my body will cooperate and release these pounds within the next year!
I have one pair of jeans that fit well at the moment. Had to buy new sweatpants to wear around the house because they're $6 and cheaper than jeans. (And more comfy!) Out of instinct, I bought size XLG. WRONG. Had to go back and buy a large. I also bought a medium just to see. The large works well for comfort. The medium fits but is a tad tight. I keep thinking it's vanity sizing because my belly is still big. Maybe it is, but whatever, that's the size in the store that fits me now. Yay.
Waiting to do my hormone test until the right day. Wish that were in the mail, but have to follow the rules. Hoping that helps. I've had twinges or very light pains every day--nothing that interrupts my day-to-day life, though. Next time that nasty pain hits, I will go to the ER. Period. It was that bad. I have a sneaky suspicion it's on its way back, as I've felt more pressure in the spot that hurts today than I have since it was really bad. Taking aspirin to fight inflammation. Hope that helps.
That's about it. I just feel SOOOOOOOOO happy tonight for someone so wonderful. Great joy indeed!
***********
****EDITED TO ADD:***** The friend I cried for is none other than Sean Anderson! He reached goal, and has lost 275 pounds! I was just overcome, I was so happy for him!*************
I'm no longer worried over DH's job. It is what it is. There are no guarantees in life, and there is absolutely no sense in worrying about something which he nor I have any control.
I'm down 1.5 pounds from my last posted weight on my sidebar! 193.5. Another thing I will no longer worry about: my sloooow losses. It is what it is. I KNOW I will get to goal. I had hoped it would be sooner, but it's not. I'll take it no matter what. 89 pounds down.
Looking ahead, I've bounced around goal numbers since I started this journey. I never knew what I wanted my goal weight to be. I put it high, then reduced it a bit. I think I'm aiming for 150, 149 or 148. lol I'll call goal when I get to 150. That's ONLY 43.5 pounds. That's a helluva lot better than 132 to lose! Go me. I'm really hoping my body will cooperate and release these pounds within the next year!
I have one pair of jeans that fit well at the moment. Had to buy new sweatpants to wear around the house because they're $6 and cheaper than jeans. (And more comfy!) Out of instinct, I bought size XLG. WRONG. Had to go back and buy a large. I also bought a medium just to see. The large works well for comfort. The medium fits but is a tad tight. I keep thinking it's vanity sizing because my belly is still big. Maybe it is, but whatever, that's the size in the store that fits me now. Yay.
Waiting to do my hormone test until the right day. Wish that were in the mail, but have to follow the rules. Hoping that helps. I've had twinges or very light pains every day--nothing that interrupts my day-to-day life, though. Next time that nasty pain hits, I will go to the ER. Period. It was that bad. I have a sneaky suspicion it's on its way back, as I've felt more pressure in the spot that hurts today than I have since it was really bad. Taking aspirin to fight inflammation. Hope that helps.
That's about it. I just feel SOOOOOOOOO happy tonight for someone so wonderful. Great joy indeed!
11.09.2010
Screeching Halt
Just was online reading our local newspaper. It seems DH's company is laying off all but 40 employees. Hubby forgot to mention this to me. Fortunately for us, DH should be safe. However, I can't imagine they'll keep the company open here when there is no production here--it's completely illogical. Illogical to me, that is.
Guess it's time to get the house market ready. Good luck with that.
Just what I need, one more huge worry on top of my health issues and everything else. If I drank, I'd probably get drunk right now. I don't drink, so will have to face it head on.
Holy crap. This economy is so bad and I feel so bad for the families who are losing their jobs. We're a small town and they're not going to find jobs like they have now.
What is in store for us, personally! It's time to go on major frugal mode, I guess. Not that I'm a big spender, but still.
Oy.
Guess it's time to get the house market ready. Good luck with that.
Just what I need, one more huge worry on top of my health issues and everything else. If I drank, I'd probably get drunk right now. I don't drink, so will have to face it head on.
Holy crap. This economy is so bad and I feel so bad for the families who are losing their jobs. We're a small town and they're not going to find jobs like they have now.
What is in store for us, personally! It's time to go on major frugal mode, I guess. Not that I'm a big spender, but still.
Oy.
11.06.2010
A Good Day
I felt good. Just a few twinges. Lower on energy than normal, but that will come back.
The great news? Just checked my FitBit and I have 20,544 steps with 20 minutes to spare before midnight.
YES
When I feel well there's nothing I can't do. I WANT to move and work out. I love it. Aside from my family, it is the center of my life. When I don't feel like I have glass shards and vice grips clamping down in my pelvic region, I can conquer anything.
Tomorrow? A good, tough strength workout. I'm thinking The FIRM's Tough Tape.
YES YES YES YES YES
lol
The great news? Just checked my FitBit and I have 20,544 steps with 20 minutes to spare before midnight.
YES
When I feel well there's nothing I can't do. I WANT to move and work out. I love it. Aside from my family, it is the center of my life. When I don't feel like I have glass shards and vice grips clamping down in my pelvic region, I can conquer anything.
Tomorrow? A good, tough strength workout. I'm thinking The FIRM's Tough Tape.
YES YES YES YES YES
lol
45 Pounds
Hubby just got on the scale then came in to tell me that I am 45 pounds lighter than he is.
Wow. I remember being so excited when I matched his weight, then dipped below. Now I'm 45 pounds lighter? WAY cool.
That just made my morning!
Wow. I remember being so excited when I matched his weight, then dipped below. Now I'm 45 pounds lighter? WAY cool.
That just made my morning!
11.05.2010
Update
Looking back over 2010, physically it was just a rough year. The pain--that was the theme of 2010 for me. Everything centered around the pain. Sweet relief was had after the surgery this summer, but it was short-lived.
The last week has been the most painful of the year. At times, I shot up to a 10 out of 10 on the pain scale. Last night and the night before, I finally dropped down to a 1 or 2. That made me hopeful, but then when morning hit, there it was again.
Today was the same, about a 4 on the pain scale. I decided screw it, I'm sick of sitting or lying down, and I popped in Leslie Sansone's 1 Mile Gentle Walk. I did it. The whole thing. Then I got cocky and just a little while ago I put in another Leslie and it was an interval with boosts and it was just too darned fast and made my pain soar. Stop. Hubby rubbed my back a bit.
The good news? For the first time in a week, I broke 10,000 steps.
The Doctor
I did not call my doctor. Why?
1) Because I would not receive anything for the pain. Never have in the past and I know they wouldn't give it now. And frankly, that really pisses me off.
2) It would be the same old routine: ultrasound, schedule an appointment with the gyno, wait a few weeks to see him, then...
3) Who knows what he'll recommend at this stage. I know I'm not up for surgery again. Not this winter. Maybe in the spring. I couldn't take it right now mentally. (Unless it was an emergency, of course.)
4) My hormone test kit arrived, and I have to wait a few more days before I can send that in. I want to at least try the recommendations of progesterone cream and supplements for a couple months.
5) I've been practicing visualization and stress reduction and want to continue. I get extremely tense and stressed from the pain, and I'm learning quickly how to get myself to relax. This is a good thing borne out of necessity, but it will stick with me for life. I've never been that good at it before.
6) I'm not too worried about what's going on inside me because it was just a couple months ago that I had the surgery and I was in the clear.
My guess is that it is another ovarian cyst or two (because the pain is in the same place) PLUS I think one of my fibroids is acting up.
And that's that. I have done virtually nothing all week. In bed a lot. Such a huge relief to move around more. A great-big thank you to my son who has gone above and beyond that of a 15 year old by helping cook, clean, do dishes, rub my shoulders, etc., plus getting all his school work done. A huge thank you to my husband for buying the groceries, picking up prescriptions, doing the laundry, cooking, and an occasional much-needed back rub.
May the next week be much better!
The last week has been the most painful of the year. At times, I shot up to a 10 out of 10 on the pain scale. Last night and the night before, I finally dropped down to a 1 or 2. That made me hopeful, but then when morning hit, there it was again.
Today was the same, about a 4 on the pain scale. I decided screw it, I'm sick of sitting or lying down, and I popped in Leslie Sansone's 1 Mile Gentle Walk. I did it. The whole thing. Then I got cocky and just a little while ago I put in another Leslie and it was an interval with boosts and it was just too darned fast and made my pain soar. Stop. Hubby rubbed my back a bit.
The good news? For the first time in a week, I broke 10,000 steps.
The Doctor
I did not call my doctor. Why?
1) Because I would not receive anything for the pain. Never have in the past and I know they wouldn't give it now. And frankly, that really pisses me off.
2) It would be the same old routine: ultrasound, schedule an appointment with the gyno, wait a few weeks to see him, then...
3) Who knows what he'll recommend at this stage. I know I'm not up for surgery again. Not this winter. Maybe in the spring. I couldn't take it right now mentally. (Unless it was an emergency, of course.)
4) My hormone test kit arrived, and I have to wait a few more days before I can send that in. I want to at least try the recommendations of progesterone cream and supplements for a couple months.
5) I've been practicing visualization and stress reduction and want to continue. I get extremely tense and stressed from the pain, and I'm learning quickly how to get myself to relax. This is a good thing borne out of necessity, but it will stick with me for life. I've never been that good at it before.
6) I'm not too worried about what's going on inside me because it was just a couple months ago that I had the surgery and I was in the clear.
My guess is that it is another ovarian cyst or two (because the pain is in the same place) PLUS I think one of my fibroids is acting up.
And that's that. I have done virtually nothing all week. In bed a lot. Such a huge relief to move around more. A great-big thank you to my son who has gone above and beyond that of a 15 year old by helping cook, clean, do dishes, rub my shoulders, etc., plus getting all his school work done. A huge thank you to my husband for buying the groceries, picking up prescriptions, doing the laundry, cooking, and an occasional much-needed back rub.
May the next week be much better!
10.31.2010
Rough Weekend
It was rough, really, really rough. Half a dozen times I was ready to go to the ER--but didn't. Waves of severe pain followed by waves of medium pain. Dreading tomorrow morning because I need to make a phone call. Will they listen? Will they help? More surgery? Fear of the unknown. What's causing this damned pain. What the hell is wrong with me?
Friday, Saturday and Sunday I wore my FitBit. Why, I don't know. I think I had 2000 steps tops each day. I was averaging over 20,000 each day.
sigh
Friday, Saturday and Sunday I wore my FitBit. Why, I don't know. I think I had 2000 steps tops each day. I was averaging over 20,000 each day.
sigh
10.29.2010
Hopefully Not Quackery
I just ordered:
Dr. Lee's PreMenopause book
progesterone cream
an expensive hormone saliva test
Is it quackery? I don't know. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I know my hormones are crazy--I don't need a test to tell me that. I know I'm estrogen dominant--I've had doctors tell me that. I have evidence of the ovarian cysts. I've had fibroids since I was 28. I have other symptoms, but it's very safe to say I'm estrogen dominant.
I've read Dr. Lee's book a few years back. I'm going to give this a go for a few months and see if it helps.
Last night was awful, I woke up all night long in pain. Today I've spent most the day in bed. The ovarian pain, cramp-like pain, and pain shooting down my legs. This is not living. I wrote a quote from Jack LaLanne awhile back that struck me: "I don't care how old I live to be, but I want to be living while I'm living." Me too.
I don't know why everything has to be such a fight, but fight on. I've stuck with this since February of '09 and I'm not about to quit now. Fight on.
Dr. Lee's PreMenopause book
progesterone cream
an expensive hormone saliva test
Is it quackery? I don't know. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I know my hormones are crazy--I don't need a test to tell me that. I know I'm estrogen dominant--I've had doctors tell me that. I have evidence of the ovarian cysts. I've had fibroids since I was 28. I have other symptoms, but it's very safe to say I'm estrogen dominant.
I've read Dr. Lee's book a few years back. I'm going to give this a go for a few months and see if it helps.
Last night was awful, I woke up all night long in pain. Today I've spent most the day in bed. The ovarian pain, cramp-like pain, and pain shooting down my legs. This is not living. I wrote a quote from Jack LaLanne awhile back that struck me: "I don't care how old I live to be, but I want to be living while I'm living." Me too.
I don't know why everything has to be such a fight, but fight on. I've stuck with this since February of '09 and I'm not about to quit now. Fight on.
10.28.2010
Here We Go Again
Today was to be a fun day. DS had an appointment in the big city, so we were also going to do some shopping, lunch, then more shopping.
On the drive up, my old foe "the pain" reared its ugly head. Again. It got pretty intense. Many times I thought about turning around to go home, but didn't. We made it up there fine, and sitting in the waiting room was torture for me because I wanted to lie on my stomach which helps ease the pain or else curl up in a ball. Can't do that in public--well, I suppose I could do that in public, but I may not be in public for long if I did. Someone would cart me off.
This morning I'd say I was an 8 out of 10. It was intense.
As we left DS's appointment, I stopped at Walgreen's. I remembered the last time I had the pain I tried plain old aspirin and it helped numb the pain more than anything else had. I bought a bottle of baby aspirin, so I could carry it in my purse and not need water to take if the need arose. I snarfed down four delightful orange-flavored candies. Within a half hour, the "edge" was taken off, I didn't feel like moaning, and I was down to a 4-5. We went to lunch, Sam's Club for a few needed items. I have so much pride, I had zero energy and I wanted to be all hunched over that cart. Instead I had DS pick up our items and I walked straight and slow as molasses.
Then we stopped for a Starbucks, because I'm only in civilization once a month and I knew that would make me feel better mentally. It did. DS enjoyed his hot chocolate. And then I drove home. The drive home was uneventful. I was hurting, but not enough to cry out or moan or groan or gripe or b*tch like I sometimes do. (Yes, I am a whiner.)
Damn it all. I just had this issue a week ago?Or was it two weeks ago? I am documenting everything. Who do I call? I live in a small town and there are two clinics. I left the big clinic because i hated it. I had complained for years of gyno problems and was ignored. The new doc jumped on my complaints and referred me to the big city. I've had two surgeries in the big city. There are not a lot of options, especially with our insurance, and I really don't have much of a choice.
This is mentally very difficult for me. I want to kick, cry and scream that this is no fair. I've been having awful periods, cramps, PMS, bloating, crazy hormonal swings for 35 years now! I'm 45. Five gynecologic surgeries now. I'm so done. I want the ovaries removed pronto. But what I want and what I get are two different things...time will tell. And the big question is would that be worse than what I'm experiencing now? Lack of hormones? Who knows.
I'm going to sulk over this for a bit because I usually follow my gut instinct and I don't have one on this--I don't quite know what to do. I can get into the doctor PDQ, so I just need to make up my mind.
Maybe another reason I don't blog much: who wants to read all this negative crap all the time. BUT that is my life at the moment. AND I am convinced my gyno problems/hormonal problems are slowing my weight loss. Try to prove that, huh. lol What do I know, though!
On the drive up, my old foe "the pain" reared its ugly head. Again. It got pretty intense. Many times I thought about turning around to go home, but didn't. We made it up there fine, and sitting in the waiting room was torture for me because I wanted to lie on my stomach which helps ease the pain or else curl up in a ball. Can't do that in public--well, I suppose I could do that in public, but I may not be in public for long if I did. Someone would cart me off.
This morning I'd say I was an 8 out of 10. It was intense.
As we left DS's appointment, I stopped at Walgreen's. I remembered the last time I had the pain I tried plain old aspirin and it helped numb the pain more than anything else had. I bought a bottle of baby aspirin, so I could carry it in my purse and not need water to take if the need arose. I snarfed down four delightful orange-flavored candies. Within a half hour, the "edge" was taken off, I didn't feel like moaning, and I was down to a 4-5. We went to lunch, Sam's Club for a few needed items. I have so much pride, I had zero energy and I wanted to be all hunched over that cart. Instead I had DS pick up our items and I walked straight and slow as molasses.
Then we stopped for a Starbucks, because I'm only in civilization once a month and I knew that would make me feel better mentally. It did. DS enjoyed his hot chocolate. And then I drove home. The drive home was uneventful. I was hurting, but not enough to cry out or moan or groan or gripe or b*tch like I sometimes do. (Yes, I am a whiner.)
Damn it all. I just had this issue a week ago?Or was it two weeks ago? I am documenting everything. Who do I call? I live in a small town and there are two clinics. I left the big clinic because i hated it. I had complained for years of gyno problems and was ignored. The new doc jumped on my complaints and referred me to the big city. I've had two surgeries in the big city. There are not a lot of options, especially with our insurance, and I really don't have much of a choice.
This is mentally very difficult for me. I want to kick, cry and scream that this is no fair. I've been having awful periods, cramps, PMS, bloating, crazy hormonal swings for 35 years now! I'm 45. Five gynecologic surgeries now. I'm so done. I want the ovaries removed pronto. But what I want and what I get are two different things...time will tell. And the big question is would that be worse than what I'm experiencing now? Lack of hormones? Who knows.
I'm going to sulk over this for a bit because I usually follow my gut instinct and I don't have one on this--I don't quite know what to do. I can get into the doctor PDQ, so I just need to make up my mind.
Maybe another reason I don't blog much: who wants to read all this negative crap all the time. BUT that is my life at the moment. AND I am convinced my gyno problems/hormonal problems are slowing my weight loss. Try to prove that, huh. lol What do I know, though!
10.27.2010
I'm No Good...
at blogging! Started a new exercise blog and can't even keep up with that. I was hoping would get me in the blogging habit--it hasn't!
I have major brain-freeze for blog posts.
Anyone have some ideas they want to throw at me?
I just keep plugging away like the Energizer Bunny. Scale's not moving again, but I am losing inches. It's not stopping me, and I'm trying not to whine about it so much but enjoy my fitness gains. Since starting walking outside and walking videos, my legs are changing! Still aiming for 20,000 steps a day. Most days I meet or surpass that. Some days when I'm tired or aching, I give myself a break.
Last week's averages:
20,853 steps
8.9 miles
2,501 calories burned
A little low for me, especially the calorie burn. I've been playing around with those walking workouts instead of doing my beloved step. I've been skimping (ignoring) weight work even though Leslie does do some toning in her walks. Today I pumped iron with The FIRM's Firm Strength. My immediate goal is to get back to my strength workouts 3 times a week and step workouts--with the addition of a walk here and there.
I think the novelty of the new Leslie workouts I got, plus the step count, has blinded me--but I'm ready to get tough again.
That's all I've got.
I have major brain-freeze for blog posts.
Anyone have some ideas they want to throw at me?
I just keep plugging away like the Energizer Bunny. Scale's not moving again, but I am losing inches. It's not stopping me, and I'm trying not to whine about it so much but enjoy my fitness gains. Since starting walking outside and walking videos, my legs are changing! Still aiming for 20,000 steps a day. Most days I meet or surpass that. Some days when I'm tired or aching, I give myself a break.
Last week's averages:
20,853 steps
8.9 miles
2,501 calories burned
A little low for me, especially the calorie burn. I've been playing around with those walking workouts instead of doing my beloved step. I've been skimping (ignoring) weight work even though Leslie does do some toning in her walks. Today I pumped iron with The FIRM's Firm Strength. My immediate goal is to get back to my strength workouts 3 times a week and step workouts--with the addition of a walk here and there.
I think the novelty of the new Leslie workouts I got, plus the step count, has blinded me--but I'm ready to get tough again.
That's all I've got.
10.19.2010
Poof, Knock on Wood
After my moaning and groaning, whine city post last night...
I woke up this morning with NO pain. Zero, nada, zilch.
WHEW!
I have scrubbed my bathroom which desperately needed attention. I have walked laps in my garage. I have moved my body at will with NO pain.
I plan on a good workout as soon as I finish cleaning up my kitchen.
I have my energy back!
It is the strangest thing, the body. I'll sure take the relief. It is very welcome. Crossing my fingers that it lasts!
I woke up this morning with NO pain. Zero, nada, zilch.
WHEW!
I have scrubbed my bathroom which desperately needed attention. I have walked laps in my garage. I have moved my body at will with NO pain.
I plan on a good workout as soon as I finish cleaning up my kitchen.
I have my energy back!
It is the strangest thing, the body. I'll sure take the relief. It is very welcome. Crossing my fingers that it lasts!
10.18.2010
Rough Times
I don't want to share this, but I have decided I have to keep my blog going which means sharing my journey. I do go back and read it from time to time and it's nice to have the history there--the good, the bad and the indifferent.
The pain, the very pain that was so severe from January to June, relieved by surgery in June, is back. It's back, it's angry, and I'm miserable.
It's been rearing its ugly head here and there. About a month or so ago we went on a 3-mile family walk. It was so severe that DH actually offered to go home and get the car. I had too much pride for that, but I was crying and he even had to take the leash to my Pippy Pup.
It's been there a few times but it left shortly so I was hopeful. Well, Wednesday it came and has not left. I broke down and cried this afternoon. I told hubby that I just cannot deal with this. I can't. It will break me. I'm cracking.
I'm so upset, so depressed, and miserable. I can't do my workouts--that's awful! I can't bend over, I can't lift my right leg--a knee lift. Can't clean the bath tub, or empty trash cans. Yesterday I was able to vacuum some of the floors. It's frustrating to not be able to do normal day-to-day thing. I can do dishes.
Zero energy. It just sucks the life right out of me. I lie down A LOT. I hate lying down,I'm an active person now. Tonight I actually watched 1 1/2 hours of TV without getting up! Aside from NCIS, I just don't watch TV. And when I watch NCIS, I march in place.
This sucks. Have not called the doctor yet. I'm dreading it. I'm dreading the "wait and see," the lack of compassion for the pain. I'm not asking for meds, because frankly, they don't work. I took a left over pain pill from my surgery yesterday. I think it was Vicodin. It numbed the pain but didn't take it away. I hate the feeling of being drugged up, so why bother.
So I'm trying to be proactive, drop the inflammation in my body, watch my blood sugar spikes--today was great!, continue to move. Believe it or not, I managed to get 12,000 steps in. Each and every step had pain with it and I didn't want to take it, but I DID IT. I did it for me.
So I'm very sad, scared and frustrated right now.
That's life.
Believe it or not, I forgot to weigh in this morning. That says something as I'm a daily weigher.
This just sucks.
The pain, the very pain that was so severe from January to June, relieved by surgery in June, is back. It's back, it's angry, and I'm miserable.
It's been rearing its ugly head here and there. About a month or so ago we went on a 3-mile family walk. It was so severe that DH actually offered to go home and get the car. I had too much pride for that, but I was crying and he even had to take the leash to my Pippy Pup.
It's been there a few times but it left shortly so I was hopeful. Well, Wednesday it came and has not left. I broke down and cried this afternoon. I told hubby that I just cannot deal with this. I can't. It will break me. I'm cracking.
I'm so upset, so depressed, and miserable. I can't do my workouts--that's awful! I can't bend over, I can't lift my right leg--a knee lift. Can't clean the bath tub, or empty trash cans. Yesterday I was able to vacuum some of the floors. It's frustrating to not be able to do normal day-to-day thing. I can do dishes.
Zero energy. It just sucks the life right out of me. I lie down A LOT. I hate lying down,I'm an active person now. Tonight I actually watched 1 1/2 hours of TV without getting up! Aside from NCIS, I just don't watch TV. And when I watch NCIS, I march in place.
This sucks. Have not called the doctor yet. I'm dreading it. I'm dreading the "wait and see," the lack of compassion for the pain. I'm not asking for meds, because frankly, they don't work. I took a left over pain pill from my surgery yesterday. I think it was Vicodin. It numbed the pain but didn't take it away. I hate the feeling of being drugged up, so why bother.
So I'm trying to be proactive, drop the inflammation in my body, watch my blood sugar spikes--today was great!, continue to move. Believe it or not, I managed to get 12,000 steps in. Each and every step had pain with it and I didn't want to take it, but I DID IT. I did it for me.
So I'm very sad, scared and frustrated right now.
That's life.
Believe it or not, I forgot to weigh in this morning. That says something as I'm a daily weigher.
This just sucks.
10.17.2010
We Have Blood Sugar Spike, Big Time
So I took my blood sugar several times today to see how foods affected me. All day it was great. Tonight, I was hurting and in a lot of pain and since I was experimenting (that's my excuse) I decided to have some Kraft Macaroni and Cheese for dinner. I was stupid and forgot to take my blood sugar before, d'oh!, but an hour after? 153. The highest it had been all day was 107.
We got spike, baby, big time.
Experiment working. Got it through my thick skull now: starch/pasta=NO JO!
Damn.
Well, I feel powerful knowing this--finally seeing the numbers, I have the science. I knew that wasn't good for me, but seeing is believing. Got it.
We got spike, baby, big time.
Experiment working. Got it through my thick skull now: starch/pasta=NO JO!
Damn.
Well, I feel powerful knowing this--finally seeing the numbers, I have the science. I knew that wasn't good for me, but seeing is believing. Got it.
Perfectionism
I'm a perfectionist. It's definitely a fault, but it is a big part of who I am. When my perfectionism doesn't yield the results I desire, I get upset.
Case in point, my weight loss the year of 2010. Despite not being a cheater, weighing and measuring everything that goes into my mouth, and exercising faithfully, the weight is not coming off at the speed I desire. I might add, the weight is not coming off as it would appear to if you looked at my stats on paper. Far from it.
So what's a perfectionist to do? Shrink into herself, quit blogging, become frustrated, but NEVER GIVE UP. That's me, that is a big part of who I am.
This past week was a bear for me. I had a panic attack on Tuesday. Haven't had one for quite awhile. Took two Xanax which helped, but Wednesday I felt drugged and sluggish. Wednesday evening my old foe, "the pain," came back to greet me. Thursday and Friday the pain was really bad. No DVD workouts, yet I managed to keep my step count high.
Yesterday, with the help of a heating pad, I was feeling better and was able to get a strength workout in. I attempted a step DVD, but by that point the pain was back and I couldn't do knee lifts.
Today, knock on wood, I'm feeling okay and will attempt a cardio workout shortly.
This just isn't the kind of thing I want to blog about. I want to say, "Wow, it works fast and well when you eat less and move more!" I don't want to blog about struggles all the time. Yet I can't turn my back on my own story, and this blog is my journal, so I decided to come out of my shell and share.
The past few days I have been doing a lot of reading. A couple readers in the past suggested I had symptoms of PCOS. I never looked it up because I thought surely my doctors would tell me if they suspected PCOS. Crickets. I looked up the symptoms and about fell out of my chair. PCOS is on my list of questions to ask my doctor about the next time I go in. I have many of the symptoms, including the chief complaints that get people into the doctor in the first place. Ahem.
Another area I've been reading about a lot is Insulin Resistance, also known as Pre-Diabetes, Syndrome X or Metabolic Syndrome. Now in the past three years I've seen three different GPs. One of those was covering for my GP at the time, and I was very sick with pneumonia/sinusitis/etc., and couldn't see my regular doctor and saw Dr. W. He is the only one of three GPs that has ever said to me that I was pre-diabetic. I remember it well, his exact words were, "I see you are pre-diabetic." The others? Crickets.
It frustrates me because I think that physicians should tell us when we have conditions, disorders, etc. I don't like being treated for symptoms, I want my physicians looking at the larger picture. I want them to share enough info with me that I can read on my own and make choices to change my lifestyle.
Gee, I didn't need any of them to tell me I was too fat weighing in at 282.5 pounds, or that my blood sugar was 2 points from labeling me diabetic, or that my blood pressure was borderline high. WAS being the operative word. They did share my lab results so I knew my lipids results. I gathered all those lab reports and put them together. I am so damned proud of myself for working hard and vastly improving my numbers. I just looked at them again this morning and it gave me a rush: See, that weight may not be coming off as fast as you like, but look at your awesome blood work, Jo! Fantastic!
But, but, but...researching further, the fact of the matter is: I still qualify for insulin resistance. I've still got Syndrome X, Metabolic Syndrome, or pre-diabetes. That does not make me happy. So what do I do about that? Continue my exercise routine. It's given me wonderful results. Lift heavier--time to up those weights. Building muscle is of the utmost importance. I'm still shooting for 20,000 steps a day. And even this week when I felt puny, I was still able to get 20,000 all but one day.
But what about diet? Aha, here is where I need some work. I've always believed in the motto: Everything in moderation. Do not eliminate anything, just use moderation. Well, obviously that hasn't held true because aside from a once-a-month visit to Taco Bell, I have given up fast food. I have given up caffeine. I didn't set out to give that up, but my body revolted and it was necessary. So now I'm going to have to change some things further. I think it's time to slowly switch over to a glycemic index diet. Yup, I never wanted to do this, but I think it's imperative that I do so. Obviously insulin is not working right in my body, my hormones are all messed up (insulin is a hormone, I just learned that this year!), and I need to get them under control. So all this talk of clean eating that I avoid, hide my head under the covers, well, it's time for me to go there.
It's time to give up processed foods. Aaaaaaccckkkk. The breakfast cereal will be the most difficult. In fact, I don't know that I will give it up. In my quest for perfectionism, I bought myself a blood glucose monitor even though I was not diabetic. So this morning I took my resting glucose level (78) and then ate my bowl of cereal. Shortly I'll take another reading to see how badly it spiked. I'm going to do that this week and see what foods spike my blood sugar. I'm trying to be very proactive here and eliminate foods that spike too much.
It's going to be tough, but I'm worth it. And I'm not one to be black and white and throw everything out immediately and start something brand new right now--that, for me, is a recipe for failure. Gradual changes work best for me.
So that's my plan this week.
I guess this has turned to more than just weight loss and a number on the scale. I am scared of the inflammation going on in my body. I want those hormones under control. I ordered some books, and have further research to do. So instead of feeling frustrated, I'm feeling a bit empowered today. This whole shift came about because I cannot bare to live with the ovarian pain that I've had this entire year. My body is inflamed, and if I really do have PCOS, I understand that the insulin hormone not working correctly is actually irritating my ovaries. At least that's what I could gather so far from my research. Well, I don't need PCOS for that to happen--supposedly it's just how things work.
I'll update on my progress.
Case in point, my weight loss the year of 2010. Despite not being a cheater, weighing and measuring everything that goes into my mouth, and exercising faithfully, the weight is not coming off at the speed I desire. I might add, the weight is not coming off as it would appear to if you looked at my stats on paper. Far from it.
So what's a perfectionist to do? Shrink into herself, quit blogging, become frustrated, but NEVER GIVE UP. That's me, that is a big part of who I am.
This past week was a bear for me. I had a panic attack on Tuesday. Haven't had one for quite awhile. Took two Xanax which helped, but Wednesday I felt drugged and sluggish. Wednesday evening my old foe, "the pain," came back to greet me. Thursday and Friday the pain was really bad. No DVD workouts, yet I managed to keep my step count high.
Yesterday, with the help of a heating pad, I was feeling better and was able to get a strength workout in. I attempted a step DVD, but by that point the pain was back and I couldn't do knee lifts.
Today, knock on wood, I'm feeling okay and will attempt a cardio workout shortly.
This just isn't the kind of thing I want to blog about. I want to say, "Wow, it works fast and well when you eat less and move more!" I don't want to blog about struggles all the time. Yet I can't turn my back on my own story, and this blog is my journal, so I decided to come out of my shell and share.
The past few days I have been doing a lot of reading. A couple readers in the past suggested I had symptoms of PCOS. I never looked it up because I thought surely my doctors would tell me if they suspected PCOS. Crickets. I looked up the symptoms and about fell out of my chair. PCOS is on my list of questions to ask my doctor about the next time I go in. I have many of the symptoms, including the chief complaints that get people into the doctor in the first place. Ahem.
Another area I've been reading about a lot is Insulin Resistance, also known as Pre-Diabetes, Syndrome X or Metabolic Syndrome. Now in the past three years I've seen three different GPs. One of those was covering for my GP at the time, and I was very sick with pneumonia/sinusitis/etc., and couldn't see my regular doctor and saw Dr. W. He is the only one of three GPs that has ever said to me that I was pre-diabetic. I remember it well, his exact words were, "I see you are pre-diabetic." The others? Crickets.
It frustrates me because I think that physicians should tell us when we have conditions, disorders, etc. I don't like being treated for symptoms, I want my physicians looking at the larger picture. I want them to share enough info with me that I can read on my own and make choices to change my lifestyle.
Gee, I didn't need any of them to tell me I was too fat weighing in at 282.5 pounds, or that my blood sugar was 2 points from labeling me diabetic, or that my blood pressure was borderline high. WAS being the operative word. They did share my lab results so I knew my lipids results. I gathered all those lab reports and put them together. I am so damned proud of myself for working hard and vastly improving my numbers. I just looked at them again this morning and it gave me a rush: See, that weight may not be coming off as fast as you like, but look at your awesome blood work, Jo! Fantastic!
But, but, but...researching further, the fact of the matter is: I still qualify for insulin resistance. I've still got Syndrome X, Metabolic Syndrome, or pre-diabetes. That does not make me happy. So what do I do about that? Continue my exercise routine. It's given me wonderful results. Lift heavier--time to up those weights. Building muscle is of the utmost importance. I'm still shooting for 20,000 steps a day. And even this week when I felt puny, I was still able to get 20,000 all but one day.
But what about diet? Aha, here is where I need some work. I've always believed in the motto: Everything in moderation. Do not eliminate anything, just use moderation. Well, obviously that hasn't held true because aside from a once-a-month visit to Taco Bell, I have given up fast food. I have given up caffeine. I didn't set out to give that up, but my body revolted and it was necessary. So now I'm going to have to change some things further. I think it's time to slowly switch over to a glycemic index diet. Yup, I never wanted to do this, but I think it's imperative that I do so. Obviously insulin is not working right in my body, my hormones are all messed up (insulin is a hormone, I just learned that this year!), and I need to get them under control. So all this talk of clean eating that I avoid, hide my head under the covers, well, it's time for me to go there.
It's time to give up processed foods. Aaaaaaccckkkk. The breakfast cereal will be the most difficult. In fact, I don't know that I will give it up. In my quest for perfectionism, I bought myself a blood glucose monitor even though I was not diabetic. So this morning I took my resting glucose level (78) and then ate my bowl of cereal. Shortly I'll take another reading to see how badly it spiked. I'm going to do that this week and see what foods spike my blood sugar. I'm trying to be very proactive here and eliminate foods that spike too much.
It's going to be tough, but I'm worth it. And I'm not one to be black and white and throw everything out immediately and start something brand new right now--that, for me, is a recipe for failure. Gradual changes work best for me.
So that's my plan this week.
I guess this has turned to more than just weight loss and a number on the scale. I am scared of the inflammation going on in my body. I want those hormones under control. I ordered some books, and have further research to do. So instead of feeling frustrated, I'm feeling a bit empowered today. This whole shift came about because I cannot bare to live with the ovarian pain that I've had this entire year. My body is inflamed, and if I really do have PCOS, I understand that the insulin hormone not working correctly is actually irritating my ovaries. At least that's what I could gather so far from my research. Well, I don't need PCOS for that to happen--supposedly it's just how things work.
I'll update on my progress.
10.04.2010
Intensity
Over the years, when I worked out, it was always with one particular instructor. I knew his routines by heart--well enough to break out and do them in the aisles when I heard the songs playing at stores. (I never did this, but I could have.)
A year ago, I knew I had outgrown these workouts. I knew I had to incorporate weight work and flexibility training. I didn't know where to turn, though, as I am a girlie girl and the thought of doing men's weight work made me ill.
I sat down at Collage Video and started previewing clips. Then I found my magic bullet: The FIRM. For me, the magic was with the older FIRMS, the originals, put out by Anna Benson, her husband Mark Henrickson and her sister Cynthia Benson. I ordered Fat Blaster, Volume 4, and Maximum Body Shaping from Collage and fell in love. This was in September.
One year ago this week, my son and I took a mini-vacation to celebrate his birthday. We were in a city, and we hit many thrift stores so I could find more FIRM videos. I came home empty handed. Why? Because The FIRM works and is still in high demand. So, upon arrival home, I sat down and ordered almost all of them from Amazon's Marketplace.
And the rest is history.
I started building muscle, I started working out at a higher intensity. I sweat bullets. I was in LOVE. Beautiful, graceful instructors in a beautiful setting--it's nicknamed The Mansion--was right up my alley.
As time wore on, I progressed and branched out. I found and fell in love with Christi Taylor, Cathe--who I consider the holy grail. She's tough! I bought P90X and have done a few weeks of it, but I don't care for long rotations so it's back on the shelf for now.
All this time I was building muscle, and I have the Bod Pod results to prove that! I was losing fat slowly. I call myself The Tortoise--which is a play on words, because one of my favorite workouts is The Tortoise by The FIRM. Slow, slow, slow-yet I've watched carefully what I ate, and worked out pretty faithfully--even when I was having all that bad pain.
Then comes the purchase of The FitBit. That arrived in mid August. I played, tinkered and charted things. I got determined to get more steps in. Slowly, in my tortoise fashion, I increased my daily step count. Right this very minute, my weekly average for daily steps is 24,000. That's a lot--for me, and for everyone as I am in the top 3 rankings in all the FitBit groups I'm in.
It was tough to get that many steps in especially when I couldn't get out to walk a lot. So I added in George Foreman's Walking DVDs. I do one every morning. I get 3-4,000 steps per workout. I then added Stephanie Huckabee's PowerFit cardios. 20 minutes each, I gain around 2000 steps with each of those. I also discovered more of Petra Kolber's DVDs: I'm especially fond of Cardio for Beginners. Plus, I walk for real outside. I am less efficient around the house prompting more steps. Going to Walmart? Great, I walk the store a few times for a couple thousand steps. No one has a clue what I'm doing as I am pushing a cart.
I've charted, I've graphed, I've deciphered and figured. This past week I came up with a formula for myself. My goal is to have a 1000 to 1250 deficit daily between what FitBit tells me my calorie burn is and what I consume.
It's working. (For now, at least!) This week's weigh-in, I lost 3.5 pounds! I had entire months where I didn't lose that much! I am thrilled. I also hit the mini-goal I had of losing 30% of my original weight.
Now, knowing me and my track record, who knows if this will continue. However, I figured out that the additional steps per day count AND that I don't need to do everything at high intensity. I try to do a step tape or power walk every day or six times a week. Both are high intensity for me. I average between 6-7,000 steps per step tape. I also do weights three times a week. I stretch a lot, mostly using Classical Stretch. It's that light aerobics, the moving in the low-end of the aerobic target zone, that is helping. I think.
The best part is I'm not starving. I get to eat between 16-1800 calories per day. That's a lot! Well worth it.
I love my FitBit. I love it more than chocolate. I love how my health is improving. I imagine myself kicking that HDL into high numbers with all my hard work. I love this week's weigh-in.
A year ago, I knew I had outgrown these workouts. I knew I had to incorporate weight work and flexibility training. I didn't know where to turn, though, as I am a girlie girl and the thought of doing men's weight work made me ill.
I sat down at Collage Video and started previewing clips. Then I found my magic bullet: The FIRM. For me, the magic was with the older FIRMS, the originals, put out by Anna Benson, her husband Mark Henrickson and her sister Cynthia Benson. I ordered Fat Blaster, Volume 4, and Maximum Body Shaping from Collage and fell in love. This was in September.
One year ago this week, my son and I took a mini-vacation to celebrate his birthday. We were in a city, and we hit many thrift stores so I could find more FIRM videos. I came home empty handed. Why? Because The FIRM works and is still in high demand. So, upon arrival home, I sat down and ordered almost all of them from Amazon's Marketplace.
And the rest is history.
I started building muscle, I started working out at a higher intensity. I sweat bullets. I was in LOVE. Beautiful, graceful instructors in a beautiful setting--it's nicknamed The Mansion--was right up my alley.
As time wore on, I progressed and branched out. I found and fell in love with Christi Taylor, Cathe--who I consider the holy grail. She's tough! I bought P90X and have done a few weeks of it, but I don't care for long rotations so it's back on the shelf for now.
All this time I was building muscle, and I have the Bod Pod results to prove that! I was losing fat slowly. I call myself The Tortoise--which is a play on words, because one of my favorite workouts is The Tortoise by The FIRM. Slow, slow, slow-yet I've watched carefully what I ate, and worked out pretty faithfully--even when I was having all that bad pain.
Then comes the purchase of The FitBit. That arrived in mid August. I played, tinkered and charted things. I got determined to get more steps in. Slowly, in my tortoise fashion, I increased my daily step count. Right this very minute, my weekly average for daily steps is 24,000. That's a lot--for me, and for everyone as I am in the top 3 rankings in all the FitBit groups I'm in.
It was tough to get that many steps in especially when I couldn't get out to walk a lot. So I added in George Foreman's Walking DVDs. I do one every morning. I get 3-4,000 steps per workout. I then added Stephanie Huckabee's PowerFit cardios. 20 minutes each, I gain around 2000 steps with each of those. I also discovered more of Petra Kolber's DVDs: I'm especially fond of Cardio for Beginners. Plus, I walk for real outside. I am less efficient around the house prompting more steps. Going to Walmart? Great, I walk the store a few times for a couple thousand steps. No one has a clue what I'm doing as I am pushing a cart.
I've charted, I've graphed, I've deciphered and figured. This past week I came up with a formula for myself. My goal is to have a 1000 to 1250 deficit daily between what FitBit tells me my calorie burn is and what I consume.
It's working. (For now, at least!) This week's weigh-in, I lost 3.5 pounds! I had entire months where I didn't lose that much! I am thrilled. I also hit the mini-goal I had of losing 30% of my original weight.
Now, knowing me and my track record, who knows if this will continue. However, I figured out that the additional steps per day count AND that I don't need to do everything at high intensity. I try to do a step tape or power walk every day or six times a week. Both are high intensity for me. I average between 6-7,000 steps per step tape. I also do weights three times a week. I stretch a lot, mostly using Classical Stretch. It's that light aerobics, the moving in the low-end of the aerobic target zone, that is helping. I think.
The best part is I'm not starving. I get to eat between 16-1800 calories per day. That's a lot! Well worth it.
I love my FitBit. I love it more than chocolate. I love how my health is improving. I imagine myself kicking that HDL into high numbers with all my hard work. I love this week's weigh-in.
10.03.2010
"Missing Your Blogs"
I got an email just now that said "Missing Your Blogs." That's all it said--and it made my night. It's nice to be missed! I replied and stated that I can't think of anything to say!
Writer's block, maybe? Stuck in a rut, or perhaps better put, in a good routine? I'm sailing along right now and have nothing profound or mundane to say. Hmmm.
This past week I've been working on things that bother me. Specifically things that have happened to me that changed me--changed me in a bad way. Won't go into specifics, but it was pretty bad to me.
I started thinking of Stuart Smalley. Remember Al Franken playing Stuart? I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me. Positive affirmations. I started thinking about how they actually do work if you use them, and I came up with a few. The one that I used repeatedy this past week was:
Every time the negative memories popped into my head, and that happens a lot, I just repeated over and over, "I let go." You know what? It started to work. I started having a bit of peace. I didn't get upset, I didn't get anxious, I just kept repeating it and soon the thoughts disappeared. It may just work.
Think it would work if I positively affirmed: I'm not hungry, even when my stomach is growling? lol
My husband tells me I have a bad habit of hanging on to bad things and thinking them over and over and over. He's right, I do. So I'm trying to change that. I let go.
Now, I won't be using Stuart's line. I know I'm good enough, I know I'm intelligent, and I know people like me--I have confidence in that arena. Yet I can think of many affirmations to use in areas where I'm not so strong.
Losing weight and getting healthy is not all about losing weight and getting healthy, it's mostly about fixing thinking. It's the stinking thinking that gets us overweight to begin with. So I'm at a stage now where I'm not afraid to tackle some of the more difficult self-messages I feed myself. I've come a long way, but now it's time to dig really deep. As my motto states: I can and I will.
Writer's block, maybe? Stuck in a rut, or perhaps better put, in a good routine? I'm sailing along right now and have nothing profound or mundane to say. Hmmm.
This past week I've been working on things that bother me. Specifically things that have happened to me that changed me--changed me in a bad way. Won't go into specifics, but it was pretty bad to me.
I started thinking of Stuart Smalley. Remember Al Franken playing Stuart? I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me. Positive affirmations. I started thinking about how they actually do work if you use them, and I came up with a few. The one that I used repeatedy this past week was:
I let go.
Every time the negative memories popped into my head, and that happens a lot, I just repeated over and over, "I let go." You know what? It started to work. I started having a bit of peace. I didn't get upset, I didn't get anxious, I just kept repeating it and soon the thoughts disappeared. It may just work.
Think it would work if I positively affirmed: I'm not hungry, even when my stomach is growling? lol
My husband tells me I have a bad habit of hanging on to bad things and thinking them over and over and over. He's right, I do. So I'm trying to change that. I let go.
Now, I won't be using Stuart's line. I know I'm good enough, I know I'm intelligent, and I know people like me--I have confidence in that arena. Yet I can think of many affirmations to use in areas where I'm not so strong.
Losing weight and getting healthy is not all about losing weight and getting healthy, it's mostly about fixing thinking. It's the stinking thinking that gets us overweight to begin with. So I'm at a stage now where I'm not afraid to tackle some of the more difficult self-messages I feed myself. I've come a long way, but now it's time to dig really deep. As my motto states: I can and I will.
9.26.2010
Move it!
Exercise. Something I have always loved, then got to big to enjoy, then found again. My heart belongs to Anna Benson's The FIRM workouts. I love them beyond words.
It's been about one year since I got serious about fitness. Many, many dollars later, I have a wonderful collection of exercise DVDs and VHS tapes. In that year I've learned to lift weights, which was Anna Benson's gift to me. I also rekindled my love of step aerobics.
The three components of exercise: strength, cardio and stretching are being met. I have not yet found a yoga tape I love or will even do. However, I love Classical Stretch.
The past few weeks, I have found myself changing in what I crave to do. My body is talking to me. Partly because of the FitBit, and partly because of my doctor's note that "exercise will raise my HDL," I've changed. I've toned tings down somewhat--or rather, added some toned down things.
I discovered George Foreman's Walk It Off series. Petra Kolber leads these, but George is our coach! They're fun. It's marching in place, walking around the living room, with great music and nice chitchat between the group. I also bought some Classical walking CDs from Collage Video. Was I ever thrilled to discover some of my beloved FIRM songs on those!
I'm averaging at least 20,000 steps a day now. That's way up. I'm moving it. This also started the scale moving again for me--at least that's what I figure by looking at my spreadsheets. Not much, but it appears I've lost 5 pounds in the last 30 days.
My body has also been craving fluid movement, graceful movement. I don't like yoga and I doubt I ever will. I have a few yoga DVDs, but--eww. lol (No offense to those that love yoga!) Today I really stepped out on a limb and bought a Qi Gong DVD. It is just so beautiful and graceful. When I'm all alone, I can see myself attempting it! I also bought a cardio yoga DVD that does a bit of cardio, then into a good stretch. I'm trying.
Finally, I bought Petra Kolber's Breathe 1 & 2. I love Petra Kolber--she just has a good energy to her. These tapes look so graceful. I need some grace in my life.
So I grow and change. I can lift weights and love it. I can do step and love it. Now I'll add some walking DVDs, some floor aerobics and some new flowing movements.
I love how my body tells me what I need and what it craves. It knows what it needs for fitness. Told hubby that when I was much heavier, I just couldn't do these graceful moves. I'm feeling more confident that I can now.
Fitness is at the center of my life now. That's a very good thing.
~~~~~~~
Happy Birthday to Jack LaLanne today! He's 96 today! I found this quote he made last night and it sums up perfectly why I started my get healthy journey:
It's been about one year since I got serious about fitness. Many, many dollars later, I have a wonderful collection of exercise DVDs and VHS tapes. In that year I've learned to lift weights, which was Anna Benson's gift to me. I also rekindled my love of step aerobics.
The three components of exercise: strength, cardio and stretching are being met. I have not yet found a yoga tape I love or will even do. However, I love Classical Stretch.
The past few weeks, I have found myself changing in what I crave to do. My body is talking to me. Partly because of the FitBit, and partly because of my doctor's note that "exercise will raise my HDL," I've changed. I've toned tings down somewhat--or rather, added some toned down things.
I discovered George Foreman's Walk It Off series. Petra Kolber leads these, but George is our coach! They're fun. It's marching in place, walking around the living room, with great music and nice chitchat between the group. I also bought some Classical walking CDs from Collage Video. Was I ever thrilled to discover some of my beloved FIRM songs on those!
I'm averaging at least 20,000 steps a day now. That's way up. I'm moving it. This also started the scale moving again for me--at least that's what I figure by looking at my spreadsheets. Not much, but it appears I've lost 5 pounds in the last 30 days.
My body has also been craving fluid movement, graceful movement. I don't like yoga and I doubt I ever will. I have a few yoga DVDs, but--eww. lol (No offense to those that love yoga!) Today I really stepped out on a limb and bought a Qi Gong DVD. It is just so beautiful and graceful. When I'm all alone, I can see myself attempting it! I also bought a cardio yoga DVD that does a bit of cardio, then into a good stretch. I'm trying.
Finally, I bought Petra Kolber's Breathe 1 & 2. I love Petra Kolber--she just has a good energy to her. These tapes look so graceful. I need some grace in my life.
So I grow and change. I can lift weights and love it. I can do step and love it. Now I'll add some walking DVDs, some floor aerobics and some new flowing movements.
I love how my body tells me what I need and what it craves. It knows what it needs for fitness. Told hubby that when I was much heavier, I just couldn't do these graceful moves. I'm feeling more confident that I can now.
Fitness is at the center of my life now. That's a very good thing.
~~~~~~~
Happy Birthday to Jack LaLanne today! He's 96 today! I found this quote he made last night and it sums up perfectly why I started my get healthy journey:
"I don't care how old I live, I just want to be living while I am living!"
Me too, Jack! Me too!
9.25.2010
Determination
I asked my husband to guest blog for me tonight. He asked why, and I told him I couldn't think of anything to blog about. That's funny, because I talk...a lot.
This past week I have realized a few things:
1) My rate of weight loss SUCKS
2) It bothers me
3) On the other hand, I don't care because...
4) I'm determined.
5) And...I've got it.
I've been at this for 19 months! Never once have I wanted to throw in the towel. Never once have I wanted to go back to my old ways. Never once have I stopped believing in myself.
While I may not be close to goal, by golly, I'm at goal mentally. I've nailed it.
I'm a lifer. This is real, I'm reaping the benefits already, I'm just a tortoise. That's my lot in life, I accept it. However, I'm in it for life.
I win!
This past week I have realized a few things:
1) My rate of weight loss SUCKS
2) It bothers me
3) On the other hand, I don't care because...
4) I'm determined.
5) And...I've got it.
I've been at this for 19 months! Never once have I wanted to throw in the towel. Never once have I wanted to go back to my old ways. Never once have I stopped believing in myself.
While I may not be close to goal, by golly, I'm at goal mentally. I've nailed it.
I'm a lifer. This is real, I'm reaping the benefits already, I'm just a tortoise. That's my lot in life, I accept it. However, I'm in it for life.
I win!
9.18.2010
Dang, Girl, Post
I promised I'd post more once September hit.
But then school started...
But then I got behind...
But we haven't finished our big basement project...
But I got a FitBit and I don't like to sit for very long now...
But I got overwhelmed again...
But I haven't even logged my workouts for the last week on my side bar, so I can't post until I catch up with that...
But I need to clean the house...
But I need to pay the bills...
But I need to run to the grocery store...
But
But
But
"Everybody I know has a big 'but'." PeeWee Herman
I will never get caught up with anything. That's how life works, isn't it!
I need to write a big review on the FitBit. I am in love with that thing. I am averaging over 20,000 steps a day! Huge motivation, that FitBit is. Soon, I promise.
We celebrated 21 years of marriage this week. Makes me feel old! I was 21 when we met!
That's it. Short post for this rainy Saturday morning!
But then school started...
But then I got behind...
But we haven't finished our big basement project...
But I got a FitBit and I don't like to sit for very long now...
But I got overwhelmed again...
But I haven't even logged my workouts for the last week on my side bar, so I can't post until I catch up with that...
But I need to clean the house...
But I need to pay the bills...
But I need to run to the grocery store...
But
But
But
"Everybody I know has a big 'but'." PeeWee Herman
I will never get caught up with anything. That's how life works, isn't it!
I need to write a big review on the FitBit. I am in love with that thing. I am averaging over 20,000 steps a day! Huge motivation, that FitBit is. Soon, I promise.
We celebrated 21 years of marriage this week. Makes me feel old! I was 21 when we met!
That's it. Short post for this rainy Saturday morning!
9.13.2010
9.06.2010
Monday Morning Weigh-In
200
that's a 2.5 pound loss since I last updated my sidebar. I've been floating between the last entry on the sidebar, 202.5, and 206 forever, it seems. Hopefully this new movement (two days in a row at 200) is the start of a new trend, a plateau buster, and I will be on my way with the scale again.
that's a 2.5 pound loss since I last updated my sidebar. I've been floating between the last entry on the sidebar, 202.5, and 206 forever, it seems. Hopefully this new movement (two days in a row at 200) is the start of a new trend, a plateau buster, and I will be on my way with the scale again.
9.04.2010
This is BIG News For Me!
Coming out of hiding a bit sooner than I expected, but this is just too big to me to not blog about.
Exercise and losing weight WORKS.
I just got my latest blood work results in the mail.
For the first time in 15 years, I have completely normal triglycerides. My HDL/LDL ratio is excellent. My total cholesterol is excellent. My HDL is a little low but it's up 50%, so a huge improvement.
I am so psyched I almost have tears. (After finishing writing this, I do have tears.)
Another small NSV: Yesterday it was cold in my neck of the woods. Even though I haven't lost much weight since April/May, I grabbed a pair of jeans out of the closet. The last time I tried these on, they went on, were skin tight in the legs, and all you could see in the front was gut-covered white granny panties. lol It was inches from being able to close. Yesterday I wore those very jeans to the store--because they buttoned and zipped up.
So the darned scale isn't cooperating, everything else IS. I'm losing some inches, obviously I'm gaining some muscle, and most importantly, my insides are getting HEALTHIER!!!
WIN/WIN!!! Go Jo!!!
So instead of constantly worrying about my triglycerides, ratios, etc., now I only have one thing to worry about: upping that HDL more. The doctor wrote "Exercise will raise this." LMAO...I'd like to invite her to my living room, I do exercise and give it 150%. However, strangely enough, this past week I've decided to make a goal of not 10,000 steps a day, but 20,000. Maybe my body knew I had to move even more. I'm working my way up slowly, and my average for the week is 19,000. So I'm almost there.
And for my final video selection, my favorite "in the mood" music. This song is very fitting for how I'm feeling at this vey moment:
Exercise and losing weight WORKS.
I just got my latest blood work results in the mail.
For the first time in 15 years, I have completely normal triglycerides. My HDL/LDL ratio is excellent. My total cholesterol is excellent. My HDL is a little low but it's up 50%, so a huge improvement.
I am so psyched I almost have tears. (After finishing writing this, I do have tears.)
Another small NSV: Yesterday it was cold in my neck of the woods. Even though I haven't lost much weight since April/May, I grabbed a pair of jeans out of the closet. The last time I tried these on, they went on, were skin tight in the legs, and all you could see in the front was gut-covered white granny panties. lol It was inches from being able to close. Yesterday I wore those very jeans to the store--because they buttoned and zipped up.
So the darned scale isn't cooperating, everything else IS. I'm losing some inches, obviously I'm gaining some muscle, and most importantly, my insides are getting HEALTHIER!!!
WIN/WIN!!! Go Jo!!!
So instead of constantly worrying about my triglycerides, ratios, etc., now I only have one thing to worry about: upping that HDL more. The doctor wrote "Exercise will raise this." LMAO...I'd like to invite her to my living room, I do exercise and give it 150%. However, strangely enough, this past week I've decided to make a goal of not 10,000 steps a day, but 20,000. Maybe my body knew I had to move even more. I'm working my way up slowly, and my average for the week is 19,000. So I'm almost there.
And for my final video selection, my favorite "in the mood" music. This song is very fitting for how I'm feeling at this vey moment:
8.30.2010
On Hold #5
Hooked on a feeling. Yup, I am--only it's not the feeling in the song. What am I hooked on? FRUSTRATION!!!!!
Why, oh why, is the weight not coming off? I got a Fit Bit and I have had awesome calorie deficits--I gained a half a pound. WTH??? Saw my doctor today, didn't mention the weight loss at all, but did mention that my hair is coming out and getting thinner, that my insomnia is really bad, and I'm worried about my joints--specifically my knees. She informed me the hair loss is common after surgery. I countered with the fact that this has been happening since about April. I used to put two loops in my pony tails, now it's three. Yup, my hair is thinner. So I go tomorrow for blood work.
Anyway, I'm having a frustration party. Will be back to full-time blogging very soon--school starts next week and it will be nice to get in a schedule again.
Until then, Hooked on a Feeling. It's a good laugh, it's David Hasselhoff. I'm surprised he can sing--the video is hilarious, though.
Why, oh why, is the weight not coming off? I got a Fit Bit and I have had awesome calorie deficits--I gained a half a pound. WTH??? Saw my doctor today, didn't mention the weight loss at all, but did mention that my hair is coming out and getting thinner, that my insomnia is really bad, and I'm worried about my joints--specifically my knees. She informed me the hair loss is common after surgery. I countered with the fact that this has been happening since about April. I used to put two loops in my pony tails, now it's three. Yup, my hair is thinner. So I go tomorrow for blood work.
Anyway, I'm having a frustration party. Will be back to full-time blogging very soon--school starts next week and it will be nice to get in a schedule again.
Until then, Hooked on a Feeling. It's a good laugh, it's David Hasselhoff. I'm surprised he can sing--the video is hilarious, though.
8.24.2010
On Hold #4
My hubby visited my blog today and informed me I hadn't written anything in awhile. Well, no kidding, I've been busy.
Our school room is painted, the new carpet is installed, and we just need to get new trim and then put eveverything back. Still working on the basement. Until then, I'm still on hold here.
So the theme song in my mind lately makes me laugh. The lyrics don't go with food/health/fitness, but the title does:
Hungry Like the Wolf
HUNGRY--I have been SOOOOO hungry this summer. I'm always hungry. Maybe that's because I'm moving a bit more?
Our school room is painted, the new carpet is installed, and we just need to get new trim and then put eveverything back. Still working on the basement. Until then, I'm still on hold here.
So the theme song in my mind lately makes me laugh. The lyrics don't go with food/health/fitness, but the title does:
Hungry Like the Wolf
HUNGRY--I have been SOOOOO hungry this summer. I'm always hungry. Maybe that's because I'm moving a bit more?
8.16.2010
On Hold #3 Kenny Loggins
Highway to the Danger Zone, Kenny Loggins
Reving up your engine
Listen to her howling roar (my engine is that spark inside me)
Metal under tension
Begging you to touch and go (get off your butt, Jo, go!)
Highway to the Danger Zone
Ride into the Danger Zone (push it, just do it, go!)
Heading into twilight
Spreading out her wings tonight
She got you jumping off the deck
And shoving into overdrive (you can do more than you ever dreamed if you push hard)
Highway to the Danger Zone
I'll take you
Right into the Danger Zone
You'll never say hello to you
Until you get it on the red line overload
You'll never know what you can do
Until you get it up as high as you can go (I can only find my true potential if I push it)
Out along the edges
Always where I burn to be
The further on the edge
The hotter the intensity (Dang, don't I feel great when I am pushing myself harder and harder in my workouts! YES!)
Highway to the Danger Zone
Gonna take you
Right into the Danger Zone
Highway to the Danger Zone
If you were to ask me what my favorite songs are, this would not even come to mind. However, the trust is, I have loved this song since I bought the soundtrack to Top Gun eons ago. This is my favorite song to run to on my rebounder. This song is my ring tone on my phone. I never made the connection in my mind about how important this song is to me until now.
I can look at this song in two ways: PUSH....push myself, reach further, strive, work harder, push it, go, go, go and LOVE it
~or~
One bad choice away from the danger zone of ill health, of gaining weight again, of, gasp, failure
Back to painting, carpet, household stuff...aaargh!!!
Reving up your engine
Listen to her howling roar (my engine is that spark inside me)
Metal under tension
Begging you to touch and go (get off your butt, Jo, go!)
Highway to the Danger Zone
Ride into the Danger Zone (push it, just do it, go!)
Heading into twilight
Spreading out her wings tonight
She got you jumping off the deck
And shoving into overdrive (you can do more than you ever dreamed if you push hard)
Highway to the Danger Zone
I'll take you
Right into the Danger Zone
You'll never say hello to you
Until you get it on the red line overload
You'll never know what you can do
Until you get it up as high as you can go (I can only find my true potential if I push it)
Out along the edges
Always where I burn to be
The further on the edge
The hotter the intensity (Dang, don't I feel great when I am pushing myself harder and harder in my workouts! YES!)
Highway to the Danger Zone
Gonna take you
Right into the Danger Zone
Highway to the Danger Zone
If you were to ask me what my favorite songs are, this would not even come to mind. However, the trust is, I have loved this song since I bought the soundtrack to Top Gun eons ago. This is my favorite song to run to on my rebounder. This song is my ring tone on my phone. I never made the connection in my mind about how important this song is to me until now.
I can look at this song in two ways: PUSH....push myself, reach further, strive, work harder, push it, go, go, go and LOVE it
~or~
One bad choice away from the danger zone of ill health, of gaining weight again, of, gasp, failure
Back to painting, carpet, household stuff...aaargh!!!
8.14.2010
On Hold #2
I'm still busy, working away. Tonight, for your listening pleasure, I give you The Boss, Dancing in the Dark.
add to that my body! I'm tired of this extra padding. I'm growing my hair out, my bangs. I want new clothes...smaller clothes.
I check my look in the mirror
I wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face
add to that my body! I'm tired of this extra padding. I'm growing my hair out, my bangs. I want new clothes...smaller clothes.
So true, and I'm working on that spark right now! I'm getting it back, fanning the embers to produce a raging fire inside me.You can't start a fire...
You can't start a fire without a spark
8.12.2010
On Hold #1: The Clash
Hello, this is is Jo at 282.5. I'm unable to blog at the moment, but please let me put you on hold. I've chosen some music that I find to be very inspirational on my journey for your listening pleasure while you wait for my return.
I'm very busy finding that spark again, (and my house!) and music is one thing that helps.
#1
Should I Stay or Should I Go by The Clash
Should I stay at 200-205 or should I go.....to goal?
GOAL, baby, GOAL.
I'm very busy finding that spark again, (and my house!) and music is one thing that helps.
#1
Should I Stay or Should I Go by The Clash
Should I stay at 200-205 or should I go.....to goal?
GOAL, baby, GOAL.
8.09.2010
Regroup
I think I'm going to take some time off from the blog because I need to regroup.
The honeymoon is over, although new habits are still in place. I've become complacent. All the health benefits I've had from losing my nearly 80 pounds (I'm holding steady at 204) have gone to my head. I need to focus on the fact that I am still obese and I still have fat to lose.
I just need to think, find a groove, change things up and re-inspire myself. I'm a thinker, a contemplater: I mull things over in my mind until I come up with solutions that work for me. Right now I need to do that. Focus is on my exercise regime and food, both.
Also, we're a few weeks from starting school, and since we're homeschoolers, that means I have a lot of work to do. Plus, I had the brilliant idea that we needed to do some home improvement projects. We're getting new carpet in our school room and our basement. The problem with that is the school room has been emptied and prepped and the "stuff" is in our bedroom, my son's bedroom, and spilling all over the house. (It's driving me crazy, the chaos!) I haven't even started the declutter/clean out of the basement.
I've been working very hard on this project and will continue to do so for a few weeks. It has to be done by September when we start school. I'm so thankful we live in a state where school starts in September rather than August!!!
So I'm giving myself two weeks tops for a blog break. I will be back with a new plan of attack.
I'm strong. I'm not giving up this fight, but I need to use my brain to work out the next portion of the journey.
The honeymoon is over, although new habits are still in place. I've become complacent. All the health benefits I've had from losing my nearly 80 pounds (I'm holding steady at 204) have gone to my head. I need to focus on the fact that I am still obese and I still have fat to lose.
I just need to think, find a groove, change things up and re-inspire myself. I'm a thinker, a contemplater: I mull things over in my mind until I come up with solutions that work for me. Right now I need to do that. Focus is on my exercise regime and food, both.
Also, we're a few weeks from starting school, and since we're homeschoolers, that means I have a lot of work to do. Plus, I had the brilliant idea that we needed to do some home improvement projects. We're getting new carpet in our school room and our basement. The problem with that is the school room has been emptied and prepped and the "stuff" is in our bedroom, my son's bedroom, and spilling all over the house. (It's driving me crazy, the chaos!) I haven't even started the declutter/clean out of the basement.
I've been working very hard on this project and will continue to do so for a few weeks. It has to be done by September when we start school. I'm so thankful we live in a state where school starts in September rather than August!!!
So I'm giving myself two weeks tops for a blog break. I will be back with a new plan of attack.
I'm strong. I'm not giving up this fight, but I need to use my brain to work out the next portion of the journey.
8.05.2010
I've Lost My Blogging Mojo
What is mojo, anyway? Whatever it is, I've lost it--blogging wise.
I've not updated my exercise bar, my weight bar...
Quick update:
weight is the same, 202-204 bouncing around
exercise has been good, although I haven't been logging it here!
mood has been pretty good
appetite has been voracious....gees, Louise, I've been hungry lately
family's good
critters are good
bored with our food....need new recipes
jumped on my first Cathe pre-order...I always need more exercise DVDs
school starts in a few weeks, I'm not even ready
getting new carpet in school room and basement...tons of work to do getting ready
BRAG: my son got the results from his standardized test and he scored in the 93rd percentile on the total battery, placing him in the post high school category (meaning he'd score the same as someone who has graduated high school) He just finished the 8th grade. Proof homeschooling is working well for him!!!
Um....that's about it.
I need to quit neglecting the blog. It's my story and I'll never remember the day-to-day stuff if I don't write it here!
I've not updated my exercise bar, my weight bar...
Quick update:
weight is the same, 202-204 bouncing around
exercise has been good, although I haven't been logging it here!
mood has been pretty good
appetite has been voracious....gees, Louise, I've been hungry lately
family's good
critters are good
bored with our food....need new recipes
jumped on my first Cathe pre-order...I always need more exercise DVDs
school starts in a few weeks, I'm not even ready
getting new carpet in school room and basement...tons of work to do getting ready
BRAG: my son got the results from his standardized test and he scored in the 93rd percentile on the total battery, placing him in the post high school category (meaning he'd score the same as someone who has graduated high school) He just finished the 8th grade. Proof homeschooling is working well for him!!!
Um....that's about it.
I need to quit neglecting the blog. It's my story and I'll never remember the day-to-day stuff if I don't write it here!
7.30.2010
The Bod Pod
Well, I did it. I was fully expecting my body fat percentage to be between 40-42. Wrong.
I came in at 39.1%!!! Woo hoo. I was thrilled with that number.
My weight was 205 (it was afternoon, not first thing in the morning when I normally weigh). I have 80 pounds of fat on my body and 125 pounds of fat-free mass. Not bad at all for my weight!
I didn't even score in the Risky category, I came in at "Excess Fat."
So, the Bod Pod man came up with a game plan for me. This game plan scares me because it's not what I'm used to.
First off, he wants me eating 125 grams of protein daily. For the past few days, I've been freaking out about that because that's a lot. He told me I couldn't eat that alone, I'd have to have a protein shake and eat bars. Well, surprise, surprise...thanks to my handy dandy Calorie King, I went back a couple months and my average protein intake is 110 grams per day. So I don't have much to up that at all.
My RMR, or resting metabolic rate, is 1611 calories. That's what my body uses to do nothing, lie in be all day. My TEE, or total energy expenditure, is 1998. That is the caloric amount my body needs to use to have a "sedentary" day. He wants me to use that number, 1998, to base my daily caloric intake.
He wants me to take that, and he rounded to 2000, add the calorie burn from my workout, then subtract 500 calories to lose a pound a week. So if I do a workout and burn 450 calories, I'll be eating 1950 calories a day. For ease, I'm just starting out with 1500 calories a day and adding in my calorie burn. Same number, easier to compute. On days I don't work out, I'm to eat 1500 calories a day.
He says I've been starving my body.
Okay, so this is scary. It's more than I'm used to. And I may not eat *all* my workout calories, but will definitely eat some--at least up to 1950. I was worried about this and a personal trainer/fitness video designer I kinda/sorta know has recommended I try it for a month. So I will.
The Bod Pod test itself was quick and painless. Change into a sports bra and spandex shorts, get weighed, hop in the pod, sit still, the guy opens the door, shuts the door, I hold still, and repeat a couple times. That's it. I did have to wear a cap to cover my hair but it wasn't tight like a swim cap.
The test cost $40. It was well worth it. To me, it proved I'm doing very well with muscle gain/fat loss.
In the book Where Did All the Fat Go by Rob Huizenga, M.D., he used an example of a 200 pound woman who is an inch taller than I am. Her body fat percentage was 46--mine was 39. She had 92 pounds of fat and 108 pounds of fat free mass. I have 80 pounds of fat and 125 pounds of lean. At the end of the section in this book he states, "A woman who is 5'6" tall with 108 pounds of lean tissue is quite athletic." That made me smile, because I'm an inch shorter and have 17 more pounds of lean and 12 less of fat than his example. Does that mean I'm athletic? My husband took exception to the term athletic. He stated a better word would be muscular. At any rate, both are what I'm going for.
So the month of August, I'm going to try this. I was told to give it three to four weeks--and I will.
The bottom line is that $40 was was an inexpensive way to boost my confidence tremendously!
~~~~~~~~
p.s. I do not follow the plan in Dr. Huizenga's book...he would have me eating no less than 1276 calories a day. That's NOT going to happen. This book is the basis of The Biggest Loser, a show I do not watch, I was just curious about the science behind the show.
I came in at 39.1%!!! Woo hoo. I was thrilled with that number.
My weight was 205 (it was afternoon, not first thing in the morning when I normally weigh). I have 80 pounds of fat on my body and 125 pounds of fat-free mass. Not bad at all for my weight!
I didn't even score in the Risky category, I came in at "Excess Fat."
So, the Bod Pod man came up with a game plan for me. This game plan scares me because it's not what I'm used to.
First off, he wants me eating 125 grams of protein daily. For the past few days, I've been freaking out about that because that's a lot. He told me I couldn't eat that alone, I'd have to have a protein shake and eat bars. Well, surprise, surprise...thanks to my handy dandy Calorie King, I went back a couple months and my average protein intake is 110 grams per day. So I don't have much to up that at all.
My RMR, or resting metabolic rate, is 1611 calories. That's what my body uses to do nothing, lie in be all day. My TEE, or total energy expenditure, is 1998. That is the caloric amount my body needs to use to have a "sedentary" day. He wants me to use that number, 1998, to base my daily caloric intake.
He wants me to take that, and he rounded to 2000, add the calorie burn from my workout, then subtract 500 calories to lose a pound a week. So if I do a workout and burn 450 calories, I'll be eating 1950 calories a day. For ease, I'm just starting out with 1500 calories a day and adding in my calorie burn. Same number, easier to compute. On days I don't work out, I'm to eat 1500 calories a day.
He says I've been starving my body.
Okay, so this is scary. It's more than I'm used to. And I may not eat *all* my workout calories, but will definitely eat some--at least up to 1950. I was worried about this and a personal trainer/fitness video designer I kinda/sorta know has recommended I try it for a month. So I will.
The Bod Pod test itself was quick and painless. Change into a sports bra and spandex shorts, get weighed, hop in the pod, sit still, the guy opens the door, shuts the door, I hold still, and repeat a couple times. That's it. I did have to wear a cap to cover my hair but it wasn't tight like a swim cap.
The test cost $40. It was well worth it. To me, it proved I'm doing very well with muscle gain/fat loss.
In the book Where Did All the Fat Go by Rob Huizenga, M.D., he used an example of a 200 pound woman who is an inch taller than I am. Her body fat percentage was 46--mine was 39. She had 92 pounds of fat and 108 pounds of fat free mass. I have 80 pounds of fat and 125 pounds of lean. At the end of the section in this book he states, "A woman who is 5'6" tall with 108 pounds of lean tissue is quite athletic." That made me smile, because I'm an inch shorter and have 17 more pounds of lean and 12 less of fat than his example. Does that mean I'm athletic? My husband took exception to the term athletic. He stated a better word would be muscular. At any rate, both are what I'm going for.
So the month of August, I'm going to try this. I was told to give it three to four weeks--and I will.
The bottom line is that $40 was was an inexpensive way to boost my confidence tremendously!
~~~~~~~~
p.s. I do not follow the plan in Dr. Huizenga's book...he would have me eating no less than 1276 calories a day. That's NOT going to happen. This book is the basis of The Biggest Loser, a show I do not watch, I was just curious about the science behind the show.
7.23.2010
When Pigs Fly
That's when I'll hit ONEderland, or so it seems.
I am a daily weigher, and I've been bouncing from 202.5 to 204. Up, down, up, down. It's getting annoying.
So, I'm taking action. I have heard of The Bod Pod and I need a vacation, so my son and I are soon going to hit the road for a two-day vacation which will include me getting a Bod Pod analysis.
The Bod Pod measures your fat/lean body mass and gives you a resting metabolic rate. It's extremely accurate. I don't need to do this, but I'm hoping that having a RMR unique to me--mine alone--will help me figure out a better caloric intake to get the weight to start coming off. Hubby and I both figure I'm probably around 40% fat--we shall see.
Hubby and I were also talking about it, and this year has been very rough on me physically. I had a lot of pain. I know I whined about it enough here, but it was really bad at times. That has to have had an impact on my health. Plus, I did have two surgeries in less than a year. So perhaps these things all add up.
Right now I am working on The FIRM again--the old videos, which I love, love, love. I'm shrinking a bit--which means I'm losing fat, but the scale isn't moving. We can really see changes in my body, more muscle definition which is great. When I first found The FIRM back last fall, after awhile my weight loss slowed but I lost inches.
So the point is I know I'm doing the right thing, I'm moving in the right direction, BUT:
I want to be in ONEDERLAND, Damn IT!!!
Ha ha. Hopefully the info I gain from The Bod Pod will help me get there. For now, I'll just continue to do my very best every day and love every minute I'm FIRMing. That's living in the now. Onederland will happen.
I am a daily weigher, and I've been bouncing from 202.5 to 204. Up, down, up, down. It's getting annoying.
So, I'm taking action. I have heard of The Bod Pod and I need a vacation, so my son and I are soon going to hit the road for a two-day vacation which will include me getting a Bod Pod analysis.
The Bod Pod measures your fat/lean body mass and gives you a resting metabolic rate. It's extremely accurate. I don't need to do this, but I'm hoping that having a RMR unique to me--mine alone--will help me figure out a better caloric intake to get the weight to start coming off. Hubby and I both figure I'm probably around 40% fat--we shall see.
Hubby and I were also talking about it, and this year has been very rough on me physically. I had a lot of pain. I know I whined about it enough here, but it was really bad at times. That has to have had an impact on my health. Plus, I did have two surgeries in less than a year. So perhaps these things all add up.
Right now I am working on The FIRM again--the old videos, which I love, love, love. I'm shrinking a bit--which means I'm losing fat, but the scale isn't moving. We can really see changes in my body, more muscle definition which is great. When I first found The FIRM back last fall, after awhile my weight loss slowed but I lost inches.
So the point is I know I'm doing the right thing, I'm moving in the right direction, BUT:
I want to be in ONEDERLAND, Damn IT!!!
Ha ha. Hopefully the info I gain from The Bod Pod will help me get there. For now, I'll just continue to do my very best every day and love every minute I'm FIRMing. That's living in the now. Onederland will happen.
7.19.2010
Uh Oh
What is the worst thing that can happen to a weight-loss blogger? Having the fan on her computer quit. Oy!
I got everything transferred onto a portable hard drive before it quit, but it's toast. I guess we need to send it off. Hopefully it can be fixed.
Can you hear that? It's me hyperventilating. How will I live without my notebook??!!??
The worst part? My calorie counting software is on that computer. Today I was going on memory. I have to go find my calorie count book--it's here somewhere.
I can use hubby's computer, but it's awful. It's not awful, it's just not what I'm used to. Plus he'll be down here any second to bump me off. lol
So I'll be scarce until this thing gets fixed.
Breathe.
I got everything transferred onto a portable hard drive before it quit, but it's toast. I guess we need to send it off. Hopefully it can be fixed.
Can you hear that? It's me hyperventilating. How will I live without my notebook??!!??
The worst part? My calorie counting software is on that computer. Today I was going on memory. I have to go find my calorie count book--it's here somewhere.
I can use hubby's computer, but it's awful. It's not awful, it's just not what I'm used to. Plus he'll be down here any second to bump me off. lol
So I'll be scarce until this thing gets fixed.
Breathe.
7.13.2010
Monday Morning Weigh-In
Yes, I know it's Tuesday. I'm a day late and a dollar behind.
Weight: 202.5
Loss: 1.5
Yay!
Weight: 202.5
Loss: 1.5
Yay!
7.08.2010
Frustrations...
Crawled into bed only to discover my kitty had pottied on it. Second time this week.
Note to self: It's wonderful that I have waterproof mattress pads.
Note to self: Go back to the old kitty litter. I hope that's the issue. Kitty is 16, but I'm not ready for -- well, enough said.
Curled up on love seat because the sheets from the last time are in the washer. Can't sleep.
Note to self: Sleep, dag-nab-it!
My house is a mess (well, I wouldn't die if someone came in, the public areas are okay, but it needs a really good cleaning.) Laundry is behind. Book work is behind. Feeling very overwhelmed. Have a major project I want to do and haven't found (made) the time to do it.
Note to self: Get off your butt and get 'er done. Except tomorrow we'll be out of town all day.
The biggie that's been on my mind: Was invited to a very close relative's milestone birthday. Would require driving 3 1/2 hours each way to attend. It's at night, and so I'd have to get a motel because I'm a baby when I'm tired. Don't want to spend money on a motel. Love the relative with all my heart, but her adult kids are hard to take. I have not RSVPed yet. I want to be there for the relative, but frankly? Parties are not my thing. This is outside, in a back yard/garage, and food will be a horrible issue. I get heat-induced edema, and I don't want to stand around outside in humidity for a few hours because I will swell. I will be chastised if I bring my own food, and they don't eat like I eat.
Bottom line: I don't want to go. I really, really don't. I also don't want to hurt her feelings. But dag-nab-it, I don't want to go. I'd rather go for an afternoon where she and I could visit, quietly. I am not in the mood for drama, whining, complaining, arrogance, being told how to eat, etc. And if I go, that's what I'll get.
What to do?
Note to self: I got nothin' here.
I'm going to try to get some sleep again. I'm not even tired, sadly. sigh
Note to self: It's wonderful that I have waterproof mattress pads.
Note to self: Go back to the old kitty litter. I hope that's the issue. Kitty is 16, but I'm not ready for -- well, enough said.
Curled up on love seat because the sheets from the last time are in the washer. Can't sleep.
Note to self: Sleep, dag-nab-it!
My house is a mess (well, I wouldn't die if someone came in, the public areas are okay, but it needs a really good cleaning.) Laundry is behind. Book work is behind. Feeling very overwhelmed. Have a major project I want to do and haven't found (made) the time to do it.
Note to self: Get off your butt and get 'er done. Except tomorrow we'll be out of town all day.
The biggie that's been on my mind: Was invited to a very close relative's milestone birthday. Would require driving 3 1/2 hours each way to attend. It's at night, and so I'd have to get a motel because I'm a baby when I'm tired. Don't want to spend money on a motel. Love the relative with all my heart, but her adult kids are hard to take. I have not RSVPed yet. I want to be there for the relative, but frankly? Parties are not my thing. This is outside, in a back yard/garage, and food will be a horrible issue. I get heat-induced edema, and I don't want to stand around outside in humidity for a few hours because I will swell. I will be chastised if I bring my own food, and they don't eat like I eat.
Bottom line: I don't want to go. I really, really don't. I also don't want to hurt her feelings. But dag-nab-it, I don't want to go. I'd rather go for an afternoon where she and I could visit, quietly. I am not in the mood for drama, whining, complaining, arrogance, being told how to eat, etc. And if I go, that's what I'll get.
What to do?
Note to self: I got nothin' here.
I'm going to try to get some sleep again. I'm not even tired, sadly. sigh
7.07.2010
July 7
Today is the anniversary of my mother's death. I thought of it briefly when I awoke, but put it out of my mind. Then at exactly the time she passed, I thought of her, looked at the clock and was somewhat shocked. Why did I think of her that exact moment? I remember exactly what transpired 17 years ago today as if it was yesterday. I still miss her very much, but the pain and tears are long gone, replaced with wonderful (and some not-so-wonderful) memories.
I'm feeling a touch of depression set in. Don't know where it's coming from, but I've had a couple "pajama days" this week and that's not a good sign. Tomorrow we're going to the big city and I hope to get lots of sunshine, lots of thrifting, and a nice lunch out to lift my spirits. I think I'm just a bit uncertain about my health--I think that's what's causing it. So I need to come to terms with things and soon!
Food's been great, I've done two days now of my 90-day rotation. Still laughing about it, how long will I last? I hate set rotations--yet I ***love*** The Firm and it is proving to be the best way to get back in the groove of working out again.
I had the most phenominal dream this morning. I'll probably write about it later, I'm still processing now. I think the dream touched on some things I've been worrying about--some of my issues. It was strange, but I could see connections.
That's about it. Fighting the dark cloud so it doesn't hover over me.
I'm feeling a touch of depression set in. Don't know where it's coming from, but I've had a couple "pajama days" this week and that's not a good sign. Tomorrow we're going to the big city and I hope to get lots of sunshine, lots of thrifting, and a nice lunch out to lift my spirits. I think I'm just a bit uncertain about my health--I think that's what's causing it. So I need to come to terms with things and soon!
Food's been great, I've done two days now of my 90-day rotation. Still laughing about it, how long will I last? I hate set rotations--yet I ***love*** The Firm and it is proving to be the best way to get back in the groove of working out again.
I had the most phenominal dream this morning. I'll probably write about it later, I'm still processing now. I think the dream touched on some things I've been worrying about--some of my issues. It was strange, but I could see connections.
That's about it. Fighting the dark cloud so it doesn't hover over me.
7.06.2010
Monday Morning Weigh-In
Yes, I know it's Tuesday, not Monday. It feels like Monday after a 3-day weekend, though.
Today's weight: 204
I shot up a gazillion pounds the day after surgery and I've been busting my tail to get back to 204. Finally, I've made it.
My tummy is finally back to its normal size. This just happened within the past couple days. I have a bunch of new stretch marks on my tummy--I'm not very happy about that! Yet, it is what it is.
Exercise goals have changed: I'm going to work on The Firm's 90-Day Rotation. It starts out for the first two-thirds at an intermediate level, then bops back up to advanced the final month. I think that's what my body needs at the moment: Not pushing myself so hard, just a gentle but fun and effective way to get back in the groove. Plus, my Firms just bring me great joy.
Feeling pretty good overall. I am having some pain in the area that was causing me trouble. It has not been to the degree it was prior to surgery, yet it's still there. Another "it is what it is." I've decided the best thing to do is accept that I may have chronic pain from here on out. I'm hopeful we can get it figured out or that it will stop, but if it doesn't, I will just accept it. I hope to quit bitching about it so much.
And that's that. 204. Yes. My eye's still on the prize.
Marching forward.
Today's weight: 204
I shot up a gazillion pounds the day after surgery and I've been busting my tail to get back to 204. Finally, I've made it.
My tummy is finally back to its normal size. This just happened within the past couple days. I have a bunch of new stretch marks on my tummy--I'm not very happy about that! Yet, it is what it is.
Exercise goals have changed: I'm going to work on The Firm's 90-Day Rotation. It starts out for the first two-thirds at an intermediate level, then bops back up to advanced the final month. I think that's what my body needs at the moment: Not pushing myself so hard, just a gentle but fun and effective way to get back in the groove. Plus, my Firms just bring me great joy.
Feeling pretty good overall. I am having some pain in the area that was causing me trouble. It has not been to the degree it was prior to surgery, yet it's still there. Another "it is what it is." I've decided the best thing to do is accept that I may have chronic pain from here on out. I'm hopeful we can get it figured out or that it will stop, but if it doesn't, I will just accept it. I hope to quit bitching about it so much.
And that's that. 204. Yes. My eye's still on the prize.
Marching forward.
7.01.2010
And Go!!!!
That's a little "The Firm" humor. Janet Jones Gretzky says "and go" many, many times in The Firm Volume 2.
And go what? I've been given the green light to do whatever I want exercise wise! No restrictions, I can jump right in!
YAY!!!!!!!!
I also learned that in addition to my bladder being attached to my uterus via adhesions, my bowel was attached to my pelvic wall. No one told us that the day of surgery. He thinks this will alleviate my pain. I took my photos of my surgery and he explained them to me--fascinating. I cracked the joke that the adhesions looked like chicken fat and he said exactly, and that's what they feel like, too. He pointed out my liver and appendix to me as well. No signs of anything bad in there at all. WHEW.
Now here's to hoping there's NO MORE PAIN. Even though I've felt mild discomfort in the area, I've also been mildly crampy everywhere--so as I heal more, it should all go away.
Fingers crossed.
Now I'm going to get my workout gear on....and go! :D
And go what? I've been given the green light to do whatever I want exercise wise! No restrictions, I can jump right in!
YAY!!!!!!!!
I also learned that in addition to my bladder being attached to my uterus via adhesions, my bowel was attached to my pelvic wall. No one told us that the day of surgery. He thinks this will alleviate my pain. I took my photos of my surgery and he explained them to me--fascinating. I cracked the joke that the adhesions looked like chicken fat and he said exactly, and that's what they feel like, too. He pointed out my liver and appendix to me as well. No signs of anything bad in there at all. WHEW.
Now here's to hoping there's NO MORE PAIN. Even though I've felt mild discomfort in the area, I've also been mildly crampy everywhere--so as I heal more, it should all go away.
Fingers crossed.
Now I'm going to get my workout gear on....and go! :D
6.28.2010
Get Tough
It's hard to get tough, but sometimes we must.
I decided I really needed to drop calories. I'm still in a healthy, safe range. I will never go low. I was just eating too high without the benefit of my workouts. The plan was to drop 40-50 calories a day for a week to reduce about 250. Well, as luck would have it, and with careful planning, I dropped 250 calories off today alone. So I'll aim for the same tomorrow. That's all I want to drop--250.
That doesn't mean I wasn't hungry: I was! I believe that was all in my mind, though.
I was a bit naughty today, too. I am not supposed to work out until I see my doctor at the end of the week. I couldn't help it, I had to. I popped in an intermediate tape (I do mostly advanced now!) and used a 4" step as opposed to 6 or 8, and I did 30 minutes of cardio. (I usually do 60 minutes.) It took a lot out of me! I worked up a sweat, but not what I'm used to. My heart rate took a long time to climb, and it didn't get near what it was before surgery. That's FINE with me! In fact, I intentionally took it easy. No jumps, no leaps, no fun stuff. I do not want to over do. So I plan on doing this until I see my doctor.
I will not be touching one of my weights, even though my body is screaming for a good weight workout. That engages the core too much and I was warned not to. So I will be good and obey there. What I did today was equal to a good walk--so I know I didn't over do.
It's time for me to get tough. I've been stuck at a little above 200 for waaaay too long. It's time to face my fear of ONEderland head on and get there. I don't know what it is about having a 1 instead of a 2 in the hundreds position, but it's freaky and scary. My health is worth it, though, and it's time to get tough.
I am tough. I've made it this far. It's taken time, but I've done it in a healthful manner. I've built my fitness up--and I'll build it up again. It's time to bring it home, get where I'm going.
I've got my eye on the prize, now I just have to go get it. And I will. I can and I will.
:D
I decided I really needed to drop calories. I'm still in a healthy, safe range. I will never go low. I was just eating too high without the benefit of my workouts. The plan was to drop 40-50 calories a day for a week to reduce about 250. Well, as luck would have it, and with careful planning, I dropped 250 calories off today alone. So I'll aim for the same tomorrow. That's all I want to drop--250.
That doesn't mean I wasn't hungry: I was! I believe that was all in my mind, though.
I was a bit naughty today, too. I am not supposed to work out until I see my doctor at the end of the week. I couldn't help it, I had to. I popped in an intermediate tape (I do mostly advanced now!) and used a 4" step as opposed to 6 or 8, and I did 30 minutes of cardio. (I usually do 60 minutes.) It took a lot out of me! I worked up a sweat, but not what I'm used to. My heart rate took a long time to climb, and it didn't get near what it was before surgery. That's FINE with me! In fact, I intentionally took it easy. No jumps, no leaps, no fun stuff. I do not want to over do. So I plan on doing this until I see my doctor.
I will not be touching one of my weights, even though my body is screaming for a good weight workout. That engages the core too much and I was warned not to. So I will be good and obey there. What I did today was equal to a good walk--so I know I didn't over do.
It's time for me to get tough. I've been stuck at a little above 200 for waaaay too long. It's time to face my fear of ONEderland head on and get there. I don't know what it is about having a 1 instead of a 2 in the hundreds position, but it's freaky and scary. My health is worth it, though, and it's time to get tough.
I am tough. I've made it this far. It's taken time, but I've done it in a healthful manner. I've built my fitness up--and I'll build it up again. It's time to bring it home, get where I'm going.
I've got my eye on the prize, now I just have to go get it. And I will. I can and I will.
:D
6.27.2010
It's My Birthday :D
I'm 45 today. Amazing, how time flies! Here I am, smack dab in the middle of the 40s.
We had a lovely day. We drove to civilization, went to Target where I didn't find a thing to buy! Then to Olive Garden where I ate too much. Ahem. Then to the book store and for coffee. Mmmm, Starbucks decaf. Finally we hit Best Buy where I bought a Cher Gold CD and forced my poor family to listen to it in the car for an hour on the way home. My son kept asking, "Is that a man?" He just couldn't grasp Cher's voice. lol
No supper, but we did have sugar-free angel food cake. 120 calories worth, and it was good. Ran to Walmart tonight and I bought an ice shaver because I want to make slurpees at home and my blender does not work well. I also bought a Kenny Rogers CD in the $7 bin...when I was a teen I had every vinyl album he did. Hubby never liked him, and I got rid of the albums long ago. I've enjoyd revisiting Ruby, Lucelle, and the Gambler among others tonight.
Body/food/exercise:
Well, my belly is still two inches bigger than pre-surgery. Clothes are tight. I've been 208.5 for several days in a row. I'm still feeling some soreness, especially in the area that pained me so much. I don't know if I'm fixed or not--time will tell. I do have a whole lot more energy now. We drove three hours to pick up DS from summer camp on Friday--and I did the driving. Coming home we decided to drive along the Mississippi River--and it was a gorgeous drive. Again, I was driving, but I pulled over in a small town and asked DH to take over as I was tired. I got tired today, but felt better after a sit and a diet Sierra Mist.
What I've learned is that eating the amount of calories I eat when I exercise does not work when I'm not exercising. It's perfect for maintaining. I need to drop down a bit, and ouch, that's not going to be easy. I see the doctor later this week and am hoping for an okay to work out again. I really like that boost I get from calorie burns. It makes the difference. I'm missing the movement, too.
I have officially gained 4 pounds--but that gain came the day after surgery, not through the week. It just never got back to normal.
So am I worried or upset about the weight gain, the bloated stomach? Nope. It is what it is. It's just a little bump in life's road, and I just need to readjust to get things moving again.
And that's a day in the life of a newly 45-year-old.
We had a lovely day. We drove to civilization, went to Target where I didn't find a thing to buy! Then to Olive Garden where I ate too much. Ahem. Then to the book store and for coffee. Mmmm, Starbucks decaf. Finally we hit Best Buy where I bought a Cher Gold CD and forced my poor family to listen to it in the car for an hour on the way home. My son kept asking, "Is that a man?" He just couldn't grasp Cher's voice. lol
No supper, but we did have sugar-free angel food cake. 120 calories worth, and it was good. Ran to Walmart tonight and I bought an ice shaver because I want to make slurpees at home and my blender does not work well. I also bought a Kenny Rogers CD in the $7 bin...when I was a teen I had every vinyl album he did. Hubby never liked him, and I got rid of the albums long ago. I've enjoyd revisiting Ruby, Lucelle, and the Gambler among others tonight.
Body/food/exercise:
Well, my belly is still two inches bigger than pre-surgery. Clothes are tight. I've been 208.5 for several days in a row. I'm still feeling some soreness, especially in the area that pained me so much. I don't know if I'm fixed or not--time will tell. I do have a whole lot more energy now. We drove three hours to pick up DS from summer camp on Friday--and I did the driving. Coming home we decided to drive along the Mississippi River--and it was a gorgeous drive. Again, I was driving, but I pulled over in a small town and asked DH to take over as I was tired. I got tired today, but felt better after a sit and a diet Sierra Mist.
What I've learned is that eating the amount of calories I eat when I exercise does not work when I'm not exercising. It's perfect for maintaining. I need to drop down a bit, and ouch, that's not going to be easy. I see the doctor later this week and am hoping for an okay to work out again. I really like that boost I get from calorie burns. It makes the difference. I'm missing the movement, too.
I have officially gained 4 pounds--but that gain came the day after surgery, not through the week. It just never got back to normal.
So am I worried or upset about the weight gain, the bloated stomach? Nope. It is what it is. It's just a little bump in life's road, and I just need to readjust to get things moving again.
And that's a day in the life of a newly 45-year-old.
6.21.2010
Monday Morning Weigh-In
208.5
Wow, gain of 4.5 pounds. Shocking. The highest I got post surgery was 211. I've been floating between 208 and 209 the past three days.
My belly is still bloated from the surgery. It's still extremely tender. Funny, as time marches on, it's more sore. My over-all body bloat has diminished, though.
My waist is 2 1/2 inches bigger than pre-surgery. I don't measure often, but I did take a quick one before the surgery and I'm glad I did because it just makes me feel a bit better knowing I'm still in recovery from the surgery.
So, that's that. While I tend to freak out about the number on the scale, this doesn't even phase me because my body is in transition right now. I'm debating putting this on my side bar because I don't think it's a true indication of anything. Not that I'm ashamed of it because I'm not, but I don't think it's accurate. Every other week is a true representation--today it really isn't.
Wow, gain of 4.5 pounds. Shocking. The highest I got post surgery was 211. I've been floating between 208 and 209 the past three days.
My belly is still bloated from the surgery. It's still extremely tender. Funny, as time marches on, it's more sore. My over-all body bloat has diminished, though.
My waist is 2 1/2 inches bigger than pre-surgery. I don't measure often, but I did take a quick one before the surgery and I'm glad I did because it just makes me feel a bit better knowing I'm still in recovery from the surgery.
So, that's that. While I tend to freak out about the number on the scale, this doesn't even phase me because my body is in transition right now. I'm debating putting this on my side bar because I don't think it's a true indication of anything. Not that I'm ashamed of it because I'm not, but I don't think it's accurate. Every other week is a true representation--today it really isn't.
6.20.2010
A Tough Decision
Yesterday I was in a lot of pain. My tummy just hurt. Today wasn't much better. The day before, Friday, hubby and I set of for the next town to pick up his Father's Day gift. The first 10 minutes in the car I was almost crying because I had motion sickness and thought I was going to lose it. After 10 minutes, I settled down and was fine.
So this morning? We were to leave at 7ish to take my son on a three-hour drive to summer camp. I woke up hurting. I will admit "the pain" is back and it has been for three days. Mild mostly, but last night and today it was really hurting. I got up, showered, ate breakfast and started crying. I knew I couldn't handle six hours total in the car today. I stayed home.
That decision has me in tears, because I'm *always* there for my son. I'm going to be worried sick because that's my nature. I had really hoped to take him. In fact, I had hoped to drive a little bit of the journey.
So I'm just very sad today. They left. In fact, I followed them to the interstate because we were out of milk. I've already texted DS once and he's called me to let me know he loved me.
This was just hard. I wanted to go. Now I'm just praying for a safe journey for them, and that my son's father doesn't embarrass him at camp. lol He's at that age where basically our mere existence embarrasses him. I'm in tune with it more than his father is. lol
Sigh. I'm just sad. He'll have a great time without "me" delivering him to camp. But it's something that I wanted to do, something that I enjoyed.
I'm going to lie down and take a much-needed nap now with my cell phone by my side.
:(
So this morning? We were to leave at 7ish to take my son on a three-hour drive to summer camp. I woke up hurting. I will admit "the pain" is back and it has been for three days. Mild mostly, but last night and today it was really hurting. I got up, showered, ate breakfast and started crying. I knew I couldn't handle six hours total in the car today. I stayed home.
That decision has me in tears, because I'm *always* there for my son. I'm going to be worried sick because that's my nature. I had really hoped to take him. In fact, I had hoped to drive a little bit of the journey.
So I'm just very sad today. They left. In fact, I followed them to the interstate because we were out of milk. I've already texted DS once and he's called me to let me know he loved me.
This was just hard. I wanted to go. Now I'm just praying for a safe journey for them, and that my son's father doesn't embarrass him at camp. lol He's at that age where basically our mere existence embarrasses him. I'm in tune with it more than his father is. lol
Sigh. I'm just sad. He'll have a great time without "me" delivering him to camp. But it's something that I wanted to do, something that I enjoyed.
I'm going to lie down and take a much-needed nap now with my cell phone by my side.
:(
6.18.2010
Thursday Ramblings and Fantastic Goals
Today was sleepy day. I took a two-hour nap after breakfast, and a two-hour nap after supper. Tummy has gone down quite a bit but now it's feeling sore. My puffiness is still there but better--noticed huge bruising on my inner leg. DH and I wondered if I it happened during surgery, yet we didn't notice it until today.
Overall, though, I feel pretty great. Haven't taken a narcotic since Tues night and won't. I hate that dopey feeling. I don't need to as I don't have pain--just mild soreness/tenderness.
Tonight since I couldn't work out I watched Christi Taylor DVDs. lol Some people watch TV at night. Me? I watch exercise DVDs. I just love her step DVDs.
I'm ready to gear up and bring this home. I'm ready to lose the final weight and start the big project: maintaining. My goals are to really amp up my fitness. I'm going to give myself two weeks once I'm cleared to work out to build back up. After that, I'm starting Cathe's STS for weights, and I'm going to do cardio doubles. I am so happy with my fitness level right now--how I've recovered from this surgery just says it all to me: I'm fit. I just want to be more fit.
I want to be an athlete. Or athletic.
This morning I was at 209. Proof puffiness subsiding, slowly. In my mind I'm figuring 210, and I've kind of made a "real" goal of 150. I never wanted to have a real goal, it seemed too far off. Now it seems obtainable. So I am figuring 60 more pounds and I'm good. Of course I'll know better when I get there, but 150 is a nice, concrete number to aim for.
Time. Time has been my enemy in my mind this whole journey. I've compared myself to everyone all along, thinking I'm so slow. Well, I'm going to give myself a year to lose 60. So I hope to be at goal by my 46th birthday. I think that's a very fair, healthy and realistic goal. Takes pressure off -- pressure that I put on myself.
I'm getting psyched. I can do this. I can and I will. Time to get to goal.
Overall, though, I feel pretty great. Haven't taken a narcotic since Tues night and won't. I hate that dopey feeling. I don't need to as I don't have pain--just mild soreness/tenderness.
Tonight since I couldn't work out I watched Christi Taylor DVDs. lol Some people watch TV at night. Me? I watch exercise DVDs. I just love her step DVDs.
I'm ready to gear up and bring this home. I'm ready to lose the final weight and start the big project: maintaining. My goals are to really amp up my fitness. I'm going to give myself two weeks once I'm cleared to work out to build back up. After that, I'm starting Cathe's STS for weights, and I'm going to do cardio doubles. I am so happy with my fitness level right now--how I've recovered from this surgery just says it all to me: I'm fit. I just want to be more fit.
I want to be an athlete. Or athletic.
This morning I was at 209. Proof puffiness subsiding, slowly. In my mind I'm figuring 210, and I've kind of made a "real" goal of 150. I never wanted to have a real goal, it seemed too far off. Now it seems obtainable. So I am figuring 60 more pounds and I'm good. Of course I'll know better when I get there, but 150 is a nice, concrete number to aim for.
Time. Time has been my enemy in my mind this whole journey. I've compared myself to everyone all along, thinking I'm so slow. Well, I'm going to give myself a year to lose 60. So I hope to be at goal by my 46th birthday. I think that's a very fair, healthy and realistic goal. Takes pressure off -- pressure that I put on myself.
I'm getting psyched. I can do this. I can and I will. Time to get to goal.
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