| asdfasdf |
[Sep. 26th, 2004|02:45 am]
DareYouToScream
|
New journal. Add me or I'll cry..
http://www.livejournal.com/users/knife_in_chest/ |
|
|
| Dont hit me like you do. |
[Sep. 26th, 2004|02:31 am]
DareYouToScream
|
Nothing to say, really.
Melissa cheated on me with Andy. Apparently i wasnt good enough, and i wasted alot of time on an empty feeling. Oh well, you live you learn. I hope she's happy now...she can go get drunk and fuck with TONS of guys.
I need to get WASTED. So that i can drink my problems away. And i need to get laid. Devotion can do a number on your sex life.
I'm turning 16 soon. Hoo fucking Ray.
Later. |
|
|
| Forget my name. |
[Sep. 20th, 2004|01:16 pm]
DareYouToScream
|
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
Yesterday was cool. I couldnt hang with Mel, she was terribly sick. Get better sweetheart.
So i helped Paul move furniture and whatnot. We ended up falling asleep for a couple hours, then when i woke up, they took me home. Home was cool. My dad was in a good mood, and we talked for a bit. I called Melissa. She sounded so sick. We talked for a bit, but then her mom was being a biotch, and made her get off. My dad suggested that we chill together and watch Hellboy. So we did. It was an okay movie...Hellboy says the word CRAP too much. Yeah, we did that, then i showered and went to sleep.
Today is a boring Monday. I'm really tired and i dont wanna be at school.
My birthday is in 8 days. I was thinking that it would be fun to go somewhere this weekend. But i cant. Friday and Saturday are practice days. And sunday is a hell-no. I miss flagstaff. And next weekend i have a show. SHITTT. I still wanna hang with all you guys. Like i said before, we need to all hang out. All my good friends.
Let's plan something eh? I'm serious. I dont wanna sit home.
Tonight's gonna SUCK. I got an essay to write, and work to make up. I dont know how i manage to not fail in this school. I cant wait till next year- It's back to North Canyon. I miss all you bitch ass Rattlers.
Taking Back Sunday is coming in october. And The Bled.
I think im done. Please comment, and lets plan a big hangout event for my b-day.
I love Melissa <3<3<3 |
|
|
| You better learn.... |
[Sep. 19th, 2004|09:59 am]
DareYouToScream
|
| [ | Current Music |
| | A Killer's Agenda- Cry To The world | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  creative | ] |
"Recovery?"
I can carry guilt. I can carry fear.
I can crash a car, with you at the wheel
Flavor's for the critics, bitterness is you.
You're a tumor in my thoughts, im becoming bitter too
I wont hold your hand, so that you can win the race
You're an independent girl, with a stone cold face
Oppurtunities slim, can i make my great escape?
or stick around to see your animosity take shape?
-CHORUS-
now tomorrow's here, wash away your tears
recovery comes with time
This is through, im better than you
keep wishing you'll be mine
Next time i see you, dont run away
give me some time to laugh
you've got nothing left to prove to me
So pack up your bags and run.
Next time you hold the gun to my face
Dont forget the safety.
================================================
I wrote that. Yeah, this weekend has been...fun.
Friday- the whole desert ridge thing. I saw Mel there and you talked. Paul and I spent some good friend time together. He's seriously becoming my bestest friend. I spent the night that night.
Saturday- We hung out, ran through the pouring rain twice, and in the evening, we hung out with Melissa and Nikky. It was fucking fun, and we need to do it more. Nikky and I are cool now, and im so fucking happy that i have her as a friend now. But yeah, after chillin' with them, we went back home and Paul went to sleep. I went to bed around 6.
Today is sunday. I think/hope Melissa and I are gonna hang out together. And we just might get Paul and Nikky to hang with us as well.
Oh and in case you havent figured this out: Melissa and I are back together! Yeah, i finally took her back, and now im so fuckng happy. We arent all uptight and shit, we're just a normal calm cool couple. I love her so fucking much. She's my fucking world. I'm soo happy. But she's sick...i hope she doesnt get me sick...
How was Edgefest guys? Anyone see Greeley Estates or Letter Kills? How was your guys' weekend?? Fill me in dude...i wanna know. And im too tired and lazy to read EVERYONE'S JOURNAL. So tell me about it in a comment. Cuz LJ comments rule my body.
I'm sort of disappoined...i wish it was a three day weekend. Cuz i dont want this to end.
I wanna fucking get drunk off my fucking ass.
I just realized...I've been at Paul's..ALL WEEKEND. He's like my bestest friend now. Anthony isnt really paying attention to our friendship anymore. Oh well, im glad that I have Paul. He's a great fucking friend. And he's helped me through alot. I hope to return the favor. I love ya Paul.
yeah, everyone is doing that 10 things for 10 people thing. So im gonna be popular, and cool and do it too.
1. You used to be my brother. But music has is more important than family. I still have a place in my heart for you, i've known you forever. You're still my little brother.
2. You've changed who i am today. Ever since you said my band sucked, and i flipped you off, we've fallen into each other's lives, and im greateful. I'll never forget our first kiss..behind Denny's on 32nd st. and Bell. You make me feel like i dont need to please anyone. Im still in love with you babe, and i dont intend to stop. <3<3<3
3. You're so awesome. We've had some rough times as friends, and some people dont like the fact that we're friends, but we've pulled through and kept a smile on our faces. You're so fun to be around. And for some reason, you think a dead cat in my jacuzzi is funny. Heh, you rock. And I'm so glad i met you.
4. I remember when i first met you. PV mall, with Melissa and Nikky. You were so fucking timid, i couldnt help but want you to open up. Over the past months, we've become better friends. You've talked me out of alot of bad thoughts and intentions, becuase you know how it is to not be accepted, and to wear a fake skin to make people happy. You're so incredible dude. Your always there when i need it and that's important to me. That, and i like the fact that you think my voice is the ultimate. Love ya buddy.
5. I've known you a long time. And when James abandoned us, you were right there by my side, even though you were suffering too. I still have a place in my heart for you, even when our friendship dangles my a string. You're funny, smart, cute, and totally hip in my eyes. I hope we stay friends this time.
6. Dude, im so glad we're friends. And lately, our friendship is getting stronger. Prolly cuz i spend the night at your house all the fucking time. Yo never fail to make me laugh, and time with you is time that i never have to worry about being a complete dumbface. You're awesome. You and your batman utility belt.
7.You're cool. You sent me that letter with those pics of you and Erica right? Yous guys are hotties. I dont know you well, cuz you dont call. I'd rather not be your pen-pal, i wanna be your pal. You rock.
8. We're friends now. And im glad. For a while, i was afraid you wanted me dead. I'm sorry if i ever offended you or made you not feel good. You rock, and im glad that we're pals now. Chase is GAWD, so consider yourself very lucky. I told you, that you would find a boy, and i still belive it. You deserve to be happy. YOU RAWK.
9. We've been through alot. But you cant have feelings for me anymore. I'm in love...and it cant happen. It wasn't a mistake. But it shouldnt have happened.
Well, i could only come up with 9. Oh well...there might be an update later if i feel the need. If not, enjoy your sunday guys. And your monday...haha.
<# Melissa <# |
|
|
| I've got a bad feeling about this... |
[Sep. 18th, 2004|01:14 am]
DareYouToScream
|
Yeah, i have a few things to say.
I dont eat often. It's not a disorder. I feel fat. Constantly..so i dont eat if i dont want to. When im hungry, i eat. But not alot. I dont wanna be fat. I dont care i foyu say im not fat, cuz i am to me. Call it what you want, but thats how i am. IM trying to stop it. Im sorry.
Im trying my best to not be sad. It's hard. But im trying. Thanks to the people who opened up and listened. I love you guys with a big part of my fucked up little heart. I really do. You're not my friends. You're my family.
This isnt an update. I'll do that tomorrow.
I love you Melissa Freeman. |
|
|
| Take the plunge... |
[Sep. 16th, 2004|01:00 pm]
DareYouToScream
|
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
Yeah. School. 2nd Hour.
Last night sucked. I called my peeps. Talked to Mel, and Ashley. Called Paul, and told him how much i wanted to party with him.
Okay, i cant help but feel like a pushover. Melissa wants me back..and in all honesty, i wanna suck up the attention as much as i can. But truth is, we'll prolly be back together in a week. I love her, i really do. Yay for me. Lets just hope i wont get hurt again. Being single isnt as fun as it used to be anyways. I wanna settle down now. Jesus, i sound like im in my 30's. But yeah, im sort of tired of the anonymous girls, and having to call all these fucking chicks. Being single isnt what it used to be. And besides, Melissa is asking for me back, and i love her. So i guess everything works out right?
I'm awaiting Friday. It's gonna be busy. I'll be doing my little visit at North Canyon, so all you NC'ers, come say hi. And with the band practice and Desert Ridge, im gonna be tired. I cant wait though. I love to be social at Desert Ridge. And Mel and i are going shopping for my B-Day at Hot Topic. It's gonna be fun, and i cant wait. I hope i can get a ride. It kind of sucks though, cuz De Sole is playing on friday night, and i could get a free cd if i go. Oh well, im on the street team, so I'll get a free on anyways.
Saturday is going to be not that exciting. Band practice, and blah.
Sunday is Melissa day. That's right, i decided that we should make up time we lost, and spend the day together. Yay-riffic.
Then it's back to hell...ahem...school. So, How is everyone else? Doing good? I hope. I wanna see everyone on Friday. If you know me, then go to Desert Ridge! I miss all my friends. It's been a long ass week, and i need to let loose with all my pals. I seriously do miss you all.
Heh, Jason says he's got a hangover. Poor guy.
Yeah. my birthday is drawing closer....9/28. I hope it doesnt suck. I'm sure you guys will make it somewhat...interesting. It's on a Tuesday. So I'll have to chill with everyone the weekend before. Maybe on Sunday the 26th? I wanna have like, a party, but not really. Just basically, all of us should meet ip at a mall, and have fun. What do you guys think? COMMENT IF YOU WANNA PLAN SOMETHING!
I'm still an Emo Boy. Maybe i should change my style. Haha.
I need more photography in here. Sorry for the lack of my crappy photography skills, and my ugly face.
Yeah, i love you guys. Bye. |
|
|
| Swallow your pride, and choke back your tears. |
[Sep. 15th, 2004|12:43 pm]
DareYouToScream
|
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
Yeah. I'm at school once again. So...where do i begin?
Saturday night rocked. The show went well. People liked us, and i even got someone asking me for my autograph. Haha. Goodbye Tomorrow, and Greeley Estates owned me as usual. Brianne and Carly showed up, but i guess Carly had to leave. So i hung out with Brianne for the majority of the night. I talked to all the people from Greeley and G.T., and then eventually went home. I didnt egt home till like...1:30 in the morning.
Sunday was fun and a bit interesting. Brianne came over to my house, and we spent alot of time together, which cleaned my "blowing her off" slate. Melissa came over..and yeah..the usual fighting. I fell asleep next to Brianne, and when i woke up, she left at about 5. I came back after walking her to her Dad's car, then called a few people. Then i went to sleep.
Monday was blech. School was crap, as usual. I would have updated my journal if i wasnt in such a crappy mood. Sorry. I went home, and called more people. I met a girl named Ashley, who thinks im hot. So we talked, and it was fun. She's cool. I then went to sleep.
Tuesday i stayed home. It was a half day at school, but we got out at 3. I stayed home. I wasnt feeling good. I wanted to see i fi could get to band pratice, but the mom wouldnt let me outta the house. I talked to everybody on the phone and the usual. I ate then slept. And here i am today.
Melissa and I are friends again. She actually wants me back. I'm somewhat..surprised. I've been through alot lately, and im not willing to jump back into this relationship. Friends for now. I'm happy now. I think she thinks i dont love her anymore. But i do. Hear that Mel? I STILL LOVE YOU.
This weekend is gonna be fun. I hope. I need to let loose and see all my friends. I might stay the night at Paul's, and he's awesome to chill with. So yay. Desert Ridge on friday night! I cant wait. I love to mingle and let my social wings unfold. That, and Melissa might be getting me my birthday present. So fuck yeh.
Speaking of which, what are you all getting me? I kinda dont want you to, its a waste of money to buy an asshole likke me a present. But yeah its your choice. The Used cd comes out ON MY FREAKING BIRTHDAY! I live for Bert. lol...
So, how is everyone? I try to read and comment on all your journals, but it's not easy. I still love you all!
I'm not being emo anymore either..im being a happy person. Tell me your proud.
Yeah, i suppose im done for now.
COMMENT GUYS <3 |
|
|
| Nothing is louder than my bleeding heart. |
[Sep. 11th, 2004|08:05 am]
DareYouToScream
|
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
I feel....out of place. Not sure why either.
Last night/ this morning was okay. Me and Paul just sat around, shared some laughs and i talked it up on aim. I talked to Carly most of the evening/morning. Then she went to bed and i got bored. I ended up passing out at like...4:30am. I told Paul to wake me up in a half hour. Then i wake up an hour later, and Paul's lying next to me snoring his ass off haha.
The show. It's tonight. And im nervous as fuck! We're the first band to play...and we have to open for Peachcake. Damnit.
Yeah, i enjoyed last night at DR. I still feel really really mondo bad about the bottle tossing at Melissa. But seriously, at that moment, she was acting like i didnt exist or fucking matter to her. She always acts like that. And i cant take it when i get lied to. So i got pissed. I didnt even throw the bottle hard. I tossed it. And it hit her leg. But goddamnit, she's treating me like i dont even deserve to exist anymore. It fucking sucks. It's not fair. And what kills me even more is...I STILL FUCKING LOVE HER. I dont get that shit.
Heartbreak suuucks. I'm sorry Mel. But its not always my fault.
Big day today. I gotta go home soon...clean my fucked up dirty room and shower. So yeh. You guys seriously gotta take that quiz on the last post. YOU NEED TO.
Bah, Carly needs to wake up. I'm getting lonely. Noone is on AIM. Bastards...
Yeah, i went to North Canyon on friday. It was fun. I hung out with Brianne...and she..broke a few rules that arent meant to be broken. LOL. Yeah, i walked around...talked to a bunch of friends and got cassie's number again. Yay.
Yeah, i like Brianne. She's cool.
That's enough for now...i gotta hit the road.
Peace...im out. </3 |
|
|
| You slept safe and close to the window.... |
[Sep. 11th, 2004|12:44 am]
DareYouToScream
|
Tonight i went to Desert Rizzle for shizzle. It was fun. Till i saw Melissa, and she was acting like a drugged up dumbshit. So i threw a bottle at her.
The rest of the night rocked. I saw Izzabelle and her friend, Kera and Becky, and so many others. I promoted for tomorrow's show. Its gonna rock my cock so badly. You all need to come. Yeah, i met so many chicks/guys tonight. I'm loving this. My social candle is re-lit and im finally accepting my status. i fucking love just meeting people, exchanging numbers, talking about music and GAAH ITS SO FUCKING FUN. IM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Anyways. Im nervous about tomorrow. Big show.
I need to be photogenic. Im starting to realize, im fucking ugly.
EEEEEEEEEW MATT IS UGLY.
Yeah, Jordan is fucking hot. She sent me that letter with a picture of her. <3 Hottness. And her friend. We should all hang out, it would be fun, but i would feel out of place. Cuz im highly unattractive.
I feel bad now. I shouldnt have thrown that bottle at Mel. But she was being fucked upto me. She fucking lied to my face, then didnt give a shit afterwards. Im sorry Mel. Seriously. I love you and im fucking sorry. You wouldnt even kiss me </3
Yeah, im in a talky talky mood. Cool or no?
Friday night cartoons suck. Oh yeah, im staying at Paul's tonight. So thats a big yay.
Kelsey- Im sorry about last night. The whole Mel situation brought me down. Im sorry for pushing it into you. And the Sean situation, its your life. Not mine. Im sorry. But i love you, you're my bestest friend, and i worry sometimes.asdfasdf
CARLY JEAN TURNER I GOT YOU BITCH! <3 HAHAAHAHA
Me and Brittney are hangin out sunday. Fun shit.
Okay, my head hurts. Do any of you hate me?
QUIZ!
1. Since the time you met me, how much have i changed? If so, how and to what extent?
2. Do you like or dislike the change?
3. Do you hate me yet? If so, why?
4. Am i a good photographer?
5. Do you miss me?
6. Do you wanna kiss me?
7. Do you like brocoli?
8. Whos better, me or jesus christ.
Take it. Bye
2. |
|
|
| I accepted who i am. Have YOU? |
[Sep. 9th, 2004|01:18 pm]
DareYouToScream
|
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
AHHH 2ND HOUR AT POLARIS IS F-U-N. Not. Last night was enlightening. Melissa and I are good now. We realized that we no longer hate each other. I love Melissa with all my heart. But we arent together. We both still need time and space. Her and Sophie might be coming to the show on Saturday which is cool stuff. I talked to Sophie last night as well. She's a cool chick, and i cant wait to see her on friday. I wanna stay at Paul's this weekend, cz its fun to hang out with him. He's a mondo cool guy. But he's gonna be at his dad's, so its a no go. Damn.
I'm getting pissed at Anthony. He told a friend of Melissa's at an Incubus concert, that i was dating a meth addict. WTF. I'm gonna fucking freak if he keeps talking shit like that. Why the fuck would he do such a thing? He's supposed to be my best friend.
Oh well. Only stupid idiot dogface losers treat me bad and do bad things to me. And as of right now...hes one of the only ones. Yeah, i think i got my voice back. I can talk without dying, and now the show on Saturday should go UBER SMOOTH. That is, if ANYONE ACTUALLY GOES! I've been out of contact with AKA this week, so im not sure as to whats going on with promoting the show. All i know is that a group of my friends know and that's it.
I got my letter from Jordan. And i also got my letter from the other Jordan. That made me so happy.
My birthday is drawing nearer. I'm excited to see how many people give a shit. KELSEY WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GETTING ME I NEED TO KNOW!!
I'm getting tired...typing hurts. I love you all. Bye. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
