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I swear I fuc**ing should have gotten that flashlight save, smh my head

I sexually identify as a pigeon. My pronouns are coo/coue. I have begun my transition with feather grafts and a cloaca shaping surgery. Yes - my butt and peepee will now be fused into one large all-purpose hole. I am also a hermaphrodite, meaning I will get egg laying capabilities when technology evolves far enough to allow that.

I have sold my apartment for $660,000 and purchased a wooded plot of land in a rural area. My family has been very supportive and they've built me a nest. My dad called all his 16 brothers to help put it together in record time.

For the past 6 days I've been scrolling Bumble trying to find a pigeonwoman but alas I can only see men, women, transmen, transwomen. I can't believe how regressive society is. If there's a brave pigeonwoman out there on Reddit please reach out to me. We can raise a family together as we fight for legal recognition on Twitter.

Enjoy your April fools day!

You might get a Pie to the Face soon... 🤡

used to jerk it to angry birds. when i was about 13 i LOVED angry birds. i had every game and bought every toy they had. One day I was playing angry birds when all of a sudden the big red bird turned me on. I couldnt stand it, i was going crazy. I decided to pull out my big long willy an start jerking. I never had felt so good, i soon continued to do this daily and never got bored of it! That big red bird was so hot and those blue ones were some cuties. I am glad to admit I still do this to this very day.