A Sense That We Cannot Return to the Past, and “Yesterday” Remembered in Quiet Acceptance⸻DateJune 5, Mon,2026
Today I spent some quiet time reflecting on my life.
When I think about not having gone abroad, not using English as much as I once hoped, and my son now living overseas, I still feel a sense of longing and a thought that things might have been different if I had made other choices. The feeling that my life did not go as I had once imagined has remained with me for a long time.
And yet, I am now living in this place as my new home, gradually organizing my life and finances. I feel that I am not only understanding with my mind that I cannot return to the past, but also slowly accepting it through daily living.
Even so, the feeling of “it would have been better if things had been different” has not disappeared completely. However, it no longer pulls me back as strongly as before. The past is becoming less of a burden and more like a background.
Yesterday at a mahjong gathering, I remembered a scene where someone was invited to a movie set in Uchiko Town. One person clearly said she would not go because she finds suspense and violent stories frightening. No one tried to persuade her, and the group simply accepted her choice quietly. The conversation moved on without tension.
That quiet atmosphere felt like a natural way of being among people who understand that the past cannot be changed.
Yesterday feels less like a simple love song and more like a feeling of wanting to return to “yesterday” while knowing it is impossible. It is not only about lost love, but about the feeling that one can never return to the same version of oneself.
Both that song and the quiet acceptance I saw yesterday share something in common: a refusal to force what cannot be changed.
Rather than erasing the past, I am learning to live while carrying it, choosing my present life step by step.
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