The Mature Brides Wedding Community

Book review

2008-05-18T15:32:07Z

I stumbled upon the book Instant Weddings, by Jennifer L. Shawne, and I have to highly recommend it to everyone here. It's geared toward those with 4 months or less to plan their wedding, but I found that the advice contained within it really applies to everyone across the board.

A few highlights:

In the first chapter she recommends that each member of the couple compile a seperate list of must haves, would like to haves, and absolutely do not want to haves, and that they then get together with their lists to figure out what are the truly important elements for their wedding.

In other chapters she recommends unique, often unthought of, places to get what's needed for the wedding.

A few of my favorite reception ideas she mentions are snow cones topped with vanilla vodka for a white/ winter themed wedding, and a picnic style reception, which we're now thinking of incorporating into our plans.

The book was published in 2004, and the list price is $14.95, but I found it at the Dollar Tree for a buck, so check there first. :)

Cross-posted like mad; sorry if you see this more than twice.

maturebrides @ 2008-04-04T10:11:00

2008-04-04T14:13:16Z

Are any of you getting married or know someone getting married? Or do you need some jewelry for a special occasion of another sort?

I made this necklace and earring set a while ago. But it has not sold. I would really like to get it to someone who could use it.

All pieces were created with all sterling silver metal components, Swarovski crystals and real pearls (dyed and natural). The photos as a rule don't do these pieces justice. The pearls shine with a creamy glow and the crystals give off brilliant sparks of light. They're beautiful. The earrings dangle 1 and 3/4 inches from the earwires and the necklace measures approximately 15 inches. Original price was $95. I'm willing to sell it for $70 now.

Are you interested? Do you know someone who might be interested? Please pass the information along.

Some new things

2007-11-08T21:23:54Z

This post is long over-due as I finished the jewelry in September and the wedding that the necklaces were made for was in October.

I was commissioned by a bride to make four necklaces for her bridesmaids to wear in her wedding. I had previously made four bracelets for the same bride, which she had given to her bridesmaids when she asked them to stand with her at the wedding. The necklaces were made to go along with the bracelets and compliment them but not necessarily be matchy-matchy. Both bracelets and necklaces were made with real pearls or various shapes and sizes, garnet Swarovski crystals and crystal Swarovski crystals. They were made in various lengths to accommodate the wearers.

I was pleased with the necklaces (and bracelets) and I believe the bride was pleased as well. I can only hope that her bridesmaids liked and appreciated the jewelry. Hopefully they find many occassions in the future to wear it!

I have another wedding necklace and bracelet set that I have to edit the photos for to post soon. there's only one set left on my site for sale and I just marked down the price.

DIY invites

2007-10-19T02:07:53Z

I still have no idea when the wedding will be, but I got some inspiration so I designed the invitations. I'd like some input on it, so please tell me if you notice anything I've missed.

First off, the invitation opens as two "flaps" outward from the center. There will be a photo of me, Kyra, Ayla, and Richard on the left flap and a photo of David, Stefan, and Kerowyn on the right flap.

When you open the flaps there will be a sheet of vellum containing words that mean a lot to and describe our family.

Remove the vellum and the invitation is fully displayed.

I realize that I don't have any type of date listed on the ceremony side. Also, I want the bottom to say "For more information and area maps go to weddingaddress."

Am I missing anything else?

cross-posted

maturebrides @ 2007-01-07T17:37:00

2007-01-07T22:38:09Z

For those of you that don't already know, you can get a free wedding planner here.

username: good
password: neighbor

I've got one & I think it's great.
-Win
:)

maturebrides @ 2006-08-30T22:51:00

2006-08-31T02:51:40Z

I recently finished a commission for pinksunset724. She commissioned me to make her six necklace and earring sets for her bridesmaids and a matching flower girl necklace and bracelet set.

The bridesmaids set - this necklace and earring set was created from natural pearls and 4mm and 6mm garnet Swarovski crystals. All metal components are sterling silver. The necklace measures approximately 16 inches and the earrings measure 7/8 of an inch from the bottom of the earwire.

The perfect compliment to the bridesmaids jewelry, this necklace and bracelet set for the flower girl was created from natural pearls and 4mm and 6mm garnet Swarovski crystals. All metal components are sterling silver. The necklace measures approximately 14 inches and the bracelet measures approximately 6 inches.

maturebrides @ 2006-08-23T17:22:00

2006-08-23T21:23:02Z

I am holding a sale on all instock items at DarkeningStar Boutique.

Shipping on all instock items is $1 per item!

maturebrides @ 2006-05-16T09:53:00

2006-05-16T13:55:39Z

Hello, I am Holly from dsboutique, one of the favorite vendors listed by your mods. I just wanted to invite all of you brides to check out my little selling journal. I am available to custom create a bridal set for you to wear proudly on your wedding day, earrings/bracelets/necklaces to gift your maids or mothers with and much more. Let me know if I can be of service! Happy planning!

For those not into the diamond ring thing

2006-03-27T04:41:00Z

I've tried to explain to my mom why I don't want one 101 times, this helped, for anyone in a similar plight.
:)
From The Ultimate Field Guide to the U.S. Economy, www.fguide.org
Econ-Atrocity Bulletin:

(2/14/02)
By Liz Stanton, CPE Staff Economist

1. You've Been Psychologically Conditioned To Want a Diamond
The diamond engagement ring is a 63-year-old invention of N.W.Ayer advertising agency. The De Beers diamond cartel contracted N.W.Ayer to create a demand for what are, essentially, useless hunks of rock.

2. Diamonds are Priced Well Above Their Value
The De Beers cartel has systematically held diamond prices at levels far greater than their abundance would generate under anything even remotely resembling perfect competition. All diamonds not already under its control are bought by the cartel, and then the De Beers cartel carefully managed world diamond supply in order to keep prices steadily high.

3. Diamonds Have No Resale or Investment Value
Any diamond that you buy or receive will indeed be yours forever: De Beers’ advertising deliberately brain-washed women not to sell; the steady price is a tool to prevent speculation in diamonds; and no dealer will buy a diamond from you. You can only sell it at a diamond purchasing center or a pawn shop where you will receive a tiny fraction of its original "value."

4. Diamond Miners are Disproportionately Exposed to HIV/AIDS
Many diamond mining camps enforce all-male, no-family rules. Men contract HIV/AIDS from camp sex-workers, while women married to miners have no access to employment, no income outside of their husbands and no bargaining power for negotiating safe sex, and thus are at extremely high risk of contracting HIV.

5. Open-Pit Diamond Mines Pose Environmental Threats
Diamond mines are open pits where salts, heavy minerals, organisms, oil, and chemicals from mining equipment freely leach into ground-water, endangering people in nearby mining camps and villages, as well as downstream plants and animals.

6. Diamond Mine-Owners Violate Indigenous People's Rights
Diamond mines in Australia, Canada, India and many countries in Africa are situated on lands traditionally associated with indigenous peoples. Many of these communities have been displaced, while others remain, often at great cost to their health, livelihoods and traditional cultures.

7. Slave Laborers Cut and Polish Diamonds
More than one-half of the world's diamonds are processed in India where many of the cutters and polishers are bonded child laborers. Bonded children work to pay off the debts of their relatives, often unsuccessfully. When they reach adulthood their debt is passed on to their younger siblings or to their own children.

8. Conflict Diamonds Fund Civil Wars in Africa
There is no reliable way to insure that your diamond was not mined or stolen by government or rebel military forces in order to finance civil conflict. Conflict diamonds are traded either for guns or for cash to pay and feed soldiers.

9. Diamond Wars are Fought Using Child Warriors
Many diamond producing governments and rebel forces use children as soldiers, laborers in military camps, and sex slaves. Child soldiers are given drugs to overcome their fear and reluctance to participate in atrocities.

10. Small Arms Trade is Intimately Related to Diamond Smuggling
Illicit diamonds inflame the clandestine trade of small arms. There are 500 million small arms in the world today which are used to kill 500,000 people annually, the vast majority of whom are non-combatants.

References:

Collier, Paul, "Economic Causes of Civil Conflict and Their Implications for Policy," World Bank, June 15, 2000.

Epstein, Edward Jay, "Have You Ever Tried to Sell a Diamond?", The Atlantic Monthly, February 1982. www.theatlantic.com/issues/82feb/8202diamond1.htm

Global Witness, "Conflict Diamonds: Possibilities for the Identification, Certification and Control of Diamonds," A Briefing Document, June 2000, www.globalwitness.org/text/campaigns/diamonds/reports.html

Human Rights Watch/Asia, "The Small Hands of Slavery: Bonded Child Labor In India," Human Rights Watch Children's Rights Project, www.hrw.org/reports/1996/India3.htm .

Human Rights Watch, "Children’s Rights: Stop the Use of Child Soldiers;" www.hrw.org/campaigns/crp/index.htm .

Kerlin, Katherine "Diamonds Aren’t Forever: Environmental Degradation and Civil War in the Gem Trade," The Environment Magazine, www.emagazine.com/september-october_2001/0901gl_consumer.html .

Le Billon, Philippe, "Angola’s Political Economy of War: The Role of Oil and Diamonds, 1975-2000," African Affairs, (2001), 100, p.55-80.

Mines and Communities, "The Mining Curse: The roles of mining in ‘underdeveloped’ economies," Minewatch Asia Pacific/Nostromo Briefing Paper, February 1999, www.minesandcommunities.org/Country/curse.htm .

Other Facets, Number 1, April 2001; Number 2, June 2001; Number 3, October 2001, www.partnershipafricacanada.org/hsdp/of.html .

© 2002 Center for Popular Economics
Econ-Atrocities are a periodic publication of the Center for Popular Economics. They are the work of their authors and reflect their author's opinions and analyses. CPE does not necessarily endorse any particular idea expressed in these articles.

If you would like to receive Econ-Atrocities bulletins automatically, you can subscribe at www.populareconomics.org/site_files/subscribe.html

maturebrides @ 2006-03-20T22:23:00

2006-03-21T03:23:03Z

3 days left in the DarkeningStar Boutique Moving Sale! All items have been marked down and some have been marked down twice! Now is the time to shop, shop, shop because these prices will not last. Check out what's available at DarkeningStar Boutique! Sale ends Thursday, buy now! Friday is moving day!

Flora

2006-03-02T08:49:50Z

One trip to Michael's and $60 later, we have flowers for all the girls. Justin hasn't yet decided if he and his boys will do bouts yet or not. If he does we'll just buy mini calla buds and use my left over other stuff to make them :)

Silk Calla Lilly Buds,(four large, six small) some dried baby's breath looking stuff (forget what the name on the tag said haha), some silk "onion leaves" with the tips dyed a slightly bluish glitter color", white ribbon, black ribbon, floral tape and some gluesticks cuz I ran out.

Please excuse the craptacular lighting and cheap cellphone camera.

Here they are all propped against my fireplace.

All four on my livingroom floor.

MINE!

I used the four large buds for mine, the baby's breath and the onion leaves and both ribbon. This pretty much used up all the white ribbon. I banded the black on the top and bottom as well as for the bow to match my dress. I dug out the star crystals I used to make my veil and stuck those on with hot glue. Yay. I ♥ it.

1) Full view, propped against the fireplace.

2) Top view.

3) Star detail on the .. uh.. handle?

4) Closeup of the handle.

5)Closeup of trailing ribbons.

I used three of the small buds as well as the baby's breath, onion leaves and wrapped in black ribbon. I used the extra material from my veil and twisted it around the bottom before I put the bow and star crystals on.

1)Full view, against the fireplace.

2)Top view!

3)Handle detail

BRIDESMAID

This I used two small buds, the baby's breath and onion leaves and black ribbon.

1)Full view

2)Top

3)Close Up

TOSS BOUQUET

Justin freaked out a little at first 'cause it was so small, but that's how I wanted it. I don't think the tosser should be bigger than my attendant bouquets.I used the last bud and the other silk plants. I wrapped this in black and used stars like the other two, and since it was so small, I wanted to give it something special so I made a little tail of veil material. Since I'm supposed to throw "my" bouquet, I though it was a nice touch.

1) Full view

2)Top

3)Detail

And one last random shot of mine while I was putting them together...

All the flowers propped up in the Flower Girl's basket.

Yay!

maturebrides @ 2006-03-01T09:03:00

2006-03-01T14:06:23Z

For anyone thinking of doing their own cooking for the wedding, here is a quick, easy recipe that I have that's somewhat elegant.

I came up with this recipe after finding a Thai seasoning mix at WalMart, and it's become a family favorite. I just thought I'd share it. I hope you enjoy it, too. :)

Thai-Style Chicken Bake

6-8 boneless, skinless chicken breasts split sideways
1 cup regular couscous
1 cup coconut milk
1 small can mandarin oranges, drained
1/2 cup cashew halves
1 pack Spicy Thai Peanut Bake from A Taste of Thai (found in the oriental aisle at WalMart)
Kitchen twine

Cook the couscous according to directions, substituting coconut milk for the water. Pour into a bowl and stir in oranges and cashews. Generously stuff each breast with couscous mixture and tie closed with kitchen twine. Coat each breast in seasoning mix, place in a covered baking dish, and bake at 350F for 30-40 minutes.

Crossposted to every wedding community I'm in.

introductory post

2005-11-19T23:09:58Z

Name/LJ Username:Angi AKA [info]lilcowgirl019
Fiance's Name/LJ: Jason/ no lj
Role in wedding: Bride!
Wedding date: July 14, 2007
Location of wedding: Asheboro, NC
Do you have a wedding website: http://www.livejournal.com/community/delp_thomaswed/
Your Story:Jason and I knew each other in high school, and even had several mutual friends. We both played in the Asheboro High School band. Jason graduated a year ahead of me, and went on to college. I didn't see him for almost two years, when, as a senior in high school, I threw a New Year's Day party. Jason's Best Man and friend Jake Crane is also one of my good friends. I invited Jake to my party, who asked if he could bring a friend. I had no idea who the friend was, but agreed. When he got there, Jason showed up with him. I remember thinking how much he'd changed since high school and wondered if he was dating anyone. We started talking and goofing off, and continued to do so for much of the party. He called me later that week to invite me out for dinner, and the rest is history. We've now been together almost 3 years, and on our wedding day, we will have been together 4 1/2 years.

On the night of our second anniversary, (Jan 8, 2005), We went out to eat at Carraba's in Greensboro, and then we went ice skating. Ice skating was disastrous, neither of us had been since we were kids. I wish someone had been there to videotape us clinging to the wall and tripping all over ourselves. After showing off our iceskating skills, we went back to Asheboro to see Jason's family. He decided we should take a walk, where he proposed after dark underneath the stars. It was raining, so he couldn't get down on one knee, but I didn't care. I had an idea it was coming, but I was still really surprised.

I love these wedding communities, because it's so nice to have someone else to share your good ideas and plans with :)

Linen Rental - SO CAL

2005-10-09T17:40:01Z

Anyone around here from So Cal too? Hell, if you have a googly or crafty suggestion too. :)

Original plans were to have our reception at FMIL's backyard.

Plans have changed and we've found a wonderful, affordable place to have it. Unfortunately I have to supply my own linens, and the chairs are hideous, so I will also need chair covers. This is an unplanned expense, but I'm not too worried about it.

I just need some help finding a place to rent it! We live in OC (Irvine) and the wedding is in Encintas. Encinitas (or the general area) would be preferable as we're leaving for the honeymoon from San Diego and his mom can just return them for us locally. (She lives there)

Suggested vendors please :)
[x-socalwedding]

Introductory Post

2005-10-05T17:39:05Z

Hello everyone! I just figured that since I was lurking I should go ahead and make myself known.

Name/LJ Username: Melissa, rosesnrubies
Fiance/e's Name/LJ: Jason, aucodemonkey
Role in wedding: I would be the bride
Wedding date: April 29 2006
Location of wedding: Hoover, AL
Do you have a wedding website: No, and dont anticipate making one because I'm a slacker :( We have a page on the knot though.
Your Story: I dont really have a 'story' I guess. Jason and I met in college and were best friends for a long time. We finally did the 'dating' thing out of college, got engaged this past March, and here we are. I'm 24, turning 25 this year, and have worked a 8-4 job in the defense industry for about a year and a half now. The FH is 24 as well, and works in the same industry at a different company. We are huge nerds, and in our spare time like to play computer games. I'm not a sappy person at all, and I like planning wedding-related things that reflect me and the FH's interests, whether original ideas or not. I hope that will suffice as an intro, and if anyone has any other questions just lemme know.

The other reason I'm posting this today is that I need a bit of help with something, or at least some outside opinions on the matter. We are holding our reception in an outdoor covered pavilion in the middle of some gardens. The maximum number of people we can have is 150, and we will probably have that many. The reception should be starting around 6 pm, the 'mood' is sort-of "garden party" (er, since it's in a garden? haha) and we'll have a heavy hor'doeuvre buffet line (pardon if I botched up the spelling). We also plan on having music - and I cant decide what kind at the moment. On the one hand, we could get a band - and I know of a few good ones in the area, bands are fun, but the cons I see are they a) there's not a lot of space to spare in the pavilion, and bands need space, and b) the noise level - I am not sure grandma wants to be blasted with 90's cover songs from the band's speakers while she's eating her spinach and artichoke dip. On the flip side, a DJ - good, because it takes up less space and you can specify which songs you want way ahead of time, and especially good if the DJ uses electronic files for music rather than CDs, but a) you miss that 'live music' feeling, and b) high cornball potential. I think this is something that needs to be decided soon, but really I just keep putting it off because I dont know which to go with. I like some parts of both options, ya know?

So the question I pose to anyone who's willing to answer: what music did you choose, and why? And could you possibly offer me any advice to help with this?

Thanks a whole bunch for help in advance!

Intro Post...

2005-10-05T01:45:25Z

Name/LJ Username:Carrie AKA truesunn
Fiance's Name/LJ: Brian AKA stahly88
Role in wedding: Bride!
Wedding date: June 10, 2006
Location of wedding: Monroe, MI
Do you have a wedding website: http://sealandstahl.weddings.com
Your Story:
It wasn't one of those get on your knee and hold out the ring kind of things. This is a second marriage for both of us, we each have a child. It was more a mutual discussion/decision. We met on a christian singles site. We talked and talked and talked on the phone for 2 weeks, he then made the 3 hour drive down and we've been inseperable ever since! It was obvious right away he was totally different than anyone I've ever dated. So respectful, thoughtful and kind... Right now we are waiting for his job transfer to go through and get him settled in down here!

I thought it would be nice to join up and share the ups and downs of wedding planning with others :)

Helllooo!

2005-10-04T12:45:10Z

Name/LJ Username:Sunshinequeen aka Lauren
Fiance/e's Name/LJ: Mark / No LJ
Role in wedding: Bride!
Wedding date: May 06, 2006
Location of wedding: Swan Harbor Farm, Havre de Grace MD
Do you have a wedding website: not yet

Mark and I met in HS and as the story often goes, I was involved with someone at the time, so I only thought of him as a friend. As our friendship grew, my feelings for him did as well. But I was stubborn and denied my feelings. He went through a couple gf's, but never really found anyone that seemed to fulfill his expectations/needs. I would give him advice on the type of girls he should be pursuing and then one day I realized that I was describing myself.

He of course, always had his eye on me and had decided long before that I was the "one". So he waited...and waited...and waited. Finally, after three years, my senior year; my current bf and I broke it off. Mark was there through everything; steady, consistant and constant. I finally realized that he fulfilled every romantic cliche and I couldnt ignore how wonderfully happy he made me.

So the dating began and the rest they say is history. Some may say we were too young to know what love was (I was 17, he was 19)... but I snort at those naysayers. We may have our differences, but we have been given a wonderful opportunity to grow together and mature. I am a firm believer that when you are with the right partner, they help bring out the best in you and encourage you to be the person you are, not some fantastical creature of their imagination. Now at 21, I can say with great confidence that I am not the same person I was at 17. But my love for Mark has never waivered nor has my commitment to our relationship.

Our recipe for success at any age is equal parts Common Sense, Acceptance, Laughter and most of all Forgiveness.

While I might not be able to relate to you all on every issue, I hope that I can learn from your stories and experiences. I am focused on sharing my life with Mark---the Planning is just a fun, public way to express our feelings to friends and family. In our minds, we are already married, the wedding is just making our committment completely offical to God, State, Family and Friends.

Happy Planning everyone :)

~Lauren

DIY rant and parental rant/question. Becuase I'm OLD and planning the wedding myself!

2005-10-03T19:05:41Z

Do any of you feel, like I do, that you are too busy to fuss with Do It Yourself projects? And do people harass you about that, as if you're being conned by the wedding industry, being elitist or otherwise being incredibly stupid becuase you hire people, delegate, and buy things?

We're keeping this wedding on a $6000 budget, and I'm able to afford to buy things or hire professionals on that budget, so why must people criticize that I'm not making my own invitations or accessories or shawl? OMG, I went to school for 30 years so that I could afford to not have to knit my own clothes! I am a professional, I am not getting 'ripped off by the wedding industry' every time I buy a piece of jewlery or fail to bake my own dessert buffet. ARGH. I resent the implication that I am wasting money, making bad decisions, or bowing to the demands of tradition (or the rip off artists who push that sort of thing).

I've hired fabulous professionals, who I trust, and who are within budget. We are professional, urban people who work 60+ hour weeks and are not skilled or crafty or artsy at all. Thus, I am buying stuff and hiring people - even though I'm coordinating it all myself. I could've hired someone for that, but didn't. I shop around for goods - I do not buy on impulse, the same way I shop carefully for our home and day to day stuff. I am a grownup, damnit, and I make good decisions - deciding not to make my own bouquet is a sound decision. I am not crafty, I have no time - the stress wouldn't be worth the savings.

Nor am I so bourgouisie that I hire labourers to do everything, because I feel 'entitled'.

What do you say to the smug people who give you hell for 'wasting money' and not doing everything yourself? I don't want to offend anybody (especially family and friends) by suggesting that the DIY look isn't classy enough for my wedding's vision (even though that's how I often feel - I have an aversion to silk flowers, for example). But when I say I'm too busy, they respond with derision - so frustrating. I'd tell them it was none of their business, but everyone asks where you got this or that or what you're doing for flowers.

Furthermore, I could rant endlessly about how my parents can't see our vision, and so they can't support it - my sister calls me 'hoity toity' for even the most basic things (having a rehersal dinner, for example). There are lots of issues here (I'm educated, they're not, I work in academia, they're blue collar, I've travelled, they're sheltered, I've read wedding magazines, they live in the 1950s)... but OMG I need a scripted response for that too - beyond the, "We picture it being quite stylish but also really fun..." My folks are freaked out by the menu, even - Mom didn't know what 'Balsamic' meant, and she told me to make sure there would be gravy! They have no part in planning this thing - we're doing it more for us and our friends than our parents. My friends all understand what we're trying to do, and accept it.

ARGH. It's not that they have expectations that I'm dashing - at least htey say they don't. My sister had the uber traditional hotel wedding, with roast beef the size of your head. It's just not what we want or are willing to pay for.

My mother has taken over my day after brunch- my friends predict five kinds of potato salad. They know I'm a total foodie, but I had to give my mom something.. she's talking about making frozen hash brown based breakfast sausage casseroles - makes me shudder. I appreciate her help, and I am grown up enough to let it go - my friends will figure out that I didn't plan the food. But sometimes I feel as though I'm some kind of martian - they're just so alien to my grown up self. The wedding is really bringing that to the fore, at least in my mind. Anybody else experiencing this divide?

Intro

2005-10-03T17:32:34Z

Name/LJ Username: Melissa, one_vice
Fiance/e's Name/LJ: Jake
Role in wedding: Bride
Wedding date: 12/8/05
Location of wedding: Orlando, Florida. (I'm from Michigan, my fiance is from Windsor, Ontario, Canada.)
Do you have a wedding website: Yes, but we haven't updated it in a while: http://melissaandjason.weddingwindow.com/index.cfm?fa=welcome
Your Story: We met at an Irish pub in Windsor in June of 2002. We began dating three months later and we got engaged in May of 2005. We decided to plan a destination wedding because we didn't want to have a large wedding. We figured that the best way to enforce "intimate and small" would be to go away to get married. I'm 27 and my fiance is 32. I'll be immigrating to Canada after we get married.

intro

2005-10-01T07:20:55Z

hello, and thank you for this community. :)

Name/LJ Username: holly / gonzostar

Fiance/e's Name/LJ: david

Role in wedding: bride

Wedding date: july 16, 2006

Location of wedding: bodega bay, ca

Do you have a wedding website: http://www.wedannounce.com/haleywedding

Your Story: we met in college, were friends for about 9 months before dating, moved in after 2 months, and got engaged on our 3 year anniversary. we'll be married the day before our 4 year anniversary. we're paying for it ourselves, trying to keep the budget down (it's on the beach, 80 person guest list, hawaiian theme, minimal decorations, and all my friends are pitching in!)

nice to meet you all. :)

maturebrides @ 2005-10-01T00:29:00

2005-10-01T07:08:00Z

Thanks for starting this community - sorely needed, I think.

I'm bruiseblue, 30, Professional Librarian, engaged to my partner of 3 years. We met the day I moved here to take my current job. He'd been talked into taking me for dinner by a mutual friend, after we'd chatted on line a few times about where I should househunt, etc. We hit it off immediately, moved in together 6 months later, and here we are, planning a wedding for April, 2006.

The ceremony will take place in a park, overlooking the ocean, in Victoria, BC. Civil ceremony, followed by a swanky dinner at a local restaurant's private function room. The Wild Saffron Bistro will do all of our catering and liquor, we've secured an amazing cake from Pure Vanilla Bakery, and our Groom's cake, done by a local cake sculptor, will be in the shape of a flying dragon (we're both fantasy and sci fi readers, and he is a D&D and gaming nut). Being grownups, having no parental input, we feel very free to do whatever weird personalized stuff we want - that cake is a secret from him, it's to be a gift that says, "you're a geek and I love you so much." An acceptance thing - he accepts me for me every day of our lives, even when I'm weird or emotional or conventional. SO the man is getting a giant flying dragon cake.

I am really glad to be doing this at this stage in my life - I don't believe you can love or be loved until you truly know and love yourself. I also don't believe I could plan this wedding without the skills that I've amassed as a grown up - knowing what I want, sticking to decisions, being a savvy consumer, not being emotionally attached to business decisions, and the ability to maintain a solid relationship. I couldn't be selfless like you need to be, years ago, nor could I be selfish - protecting your own interests is as vital as protecting your lover's. As a younger person I gave up too much of myself for men. Also I didn't know who I was - now that I know, I can plan the perfect wedding for us, and stick up for my vision, too.

I also have no family involved in this wedding - they say they'll show up, maybe. We're not close. My boy is closer to his family, but they're all free spirits and haven't taken a role in the wedding planning, thus far. Also I could care less for ettiquette rules- to me, good manners are simply common sense, and being sensitive to your guests needs, and your own. My wedding won't be lavish but it'll be simple, classy, stylish, and very, very me. I am also looking forward to my friends flying in for the week - we'll have events all week, with the wedding in the middle, to give us a chance to play with people we rarely get to see.

We're also considering a freestyle cruise to Alaska for a honeymoon, if anyone has every done that..? Freestyle is key, becuase the boy won't dress up for any reason (except the wedding -he's wearing a suit for the third time in his whole life! - for me!) - I was hoping for one of those gourmet cruises with cooking lessons and tastings and things, but they require fancy dress.

OH, and I must promote this book, "Weddings for Grown Ups." By Carroll Stoner - it's the only one I've used, because it is aimed at professional women who know what they want, aren't concerned with ettiquette or pleasing parents, and who are doing it themselves (often the only delegation possible is when you hire someone). I related immediately to this book, and it's been the best source of support.

I look forward to this community thriving - I hope to contribute as well as learn.

Me :)

2005-10-01T06:58:48Z

weddingplans survey for insolentmuse

Name	Cristy
Wedding Date	8/19/2006
My role is	Bride
Age	27
I live in	Irvine, CA
I'm getting married in	Encinitas, CA
Our song/First Dance song	Iris, Goo Goo Dolls
Wedding Colors	Black/White/Silver
Formality	Casual
Theme	None
Number of guests	50
How'd I meet my fiance?	In an IRC chatroom for a game, DragonRealms (http://www.play.net/dr). We were friends for a year, and then it developed. I moved to So Cal from NY in 2002 to be with him. :)
How long have we been together?	3.5 Years
Wedding website	http://www.straussonline.com
Want to be included in the Wedding Dates list?	Yes
Anything else to tell everyone?

Fill out a wedding profile.

Courtesy of AppleBride Wedding Encyclopedia.

We "met" online in late '01 after difficult breakups for both of us. I'd already been in some very serious relationships, with a very near walk down the aisle already..and one failed relationship with someone met online... So needless to say when I met my FH, I was not in the market for another relationship - much less a second try at internet romance. We both played a game online called Dragon Realms which I discovered while in high school and had been playing off and on since (eek) but met in an IRC chatroom for the game. We weren't really friends, and only spoke in passing while in IRC - usually concentrating on talking to the people we were already friends with.

I don't remember exactly how it progressed from a passing "hello" in IRC or the game to the point where we decided to talk on the phone, but in August 02, he called me. And we spent 9 hours on the phone. And we spent hours on the phone every single night until November when I packed my shit and moved to CA where I have been ever since.

I was born in 1978. He was born in 1982. A few years ago, I would have never thought of dating someone that much younger. Four years may not seem like much right now, and it's not relationship-wise...but on some things we really are worlds apart. (like music, memories, the 80's which I loved and he barely remembers). He grew up on the computer. I didn't own a computer until I was 19 or 20. I didn't know anyone with a computer until I was out of high school. I never really even used one other than at school, and for my brief stint at my dad's house in 1996.

So... we're pretty much planning everything on our own, and obviously paying for everything ourselves, which is difficult with both of us in school and working, but hey - we'll do it.

Introduction :)

2005-10-01T06:14:35Z

Hi! I was directed to this community through a posting over on weddingplans. Anyway, I thought I'd toss out some survey answers:

Name/LJ Username: Becca/annaonthemoon
Fiance/e's Name/LJ: Charlie/scribe_of_stars
Role in wedding: I'm the Bride
Wedding date: We haven't set that yet. Either Late 2006 or Early 2007. Charlie wants to be absolutely positive that he's graduating college in May before we set a date, and I told him I want at least 6 months between setting the date and the date to plan the wedding in. He and I don't want a long drawn out engagement, so we've also put off the ring until he knows he'll be graudating.
Location of wedding: First Presbyterian Church, York, PA
Do you have a wedding website: not yet. I haven't gotten around to doing the subdomain yet, hut it *will* be http://wedding.beccajanestclair.com . I also have an LJ, but for now it just has the ideas I don't want to forget about at urbanna_love
Your Story: Charlie and I met online, thorugh two sources. We "met" through livejournal commenting back and forth on several mutual freind's LJs, and also met on IRC (Nightstar.net, channel #crfh). At the time we met he was getting over a relationship he had had with this girl who I had become freinds with and trying to do the "let's be freinds" thing with her. I mentioned to her that I thought Urban was fun to talk to and I had a "crush" on him....she convinced him that he and I should talk on the phone (so we did for 3 hours the first time!), and then steered him towards meeting me. (he lives in northern baltimore county (MD) right now, I live in lancaster, PA). Ironically, he and I both had a falling out with his ex after we had gotten together, because she was upset that Charlie "had no time for her" and was "moving on"...even though she's the one who really got us pushed in the right direction. It's kind of weird to thank someone's ex for getting you together. Charlie asked me to marry him in June, but he wants to re-ask me when he buys me an engagement ring. Right now he and I both wear promise rings on our left hands. Mine has moons and stars on it for my AnnaOnTheMoon name. Another random and weird fact about Charlie and I is that he and I were both attending the same college (Penn State) for one semester. (my senior year was his first year). I used to hang out in his dorm building a lot because a friend of mine also lived there. He also managed to meet one of my best freinds who was in the same major as him, but his and my path didn't cross at the time. [but this further proves my 6 degrees of becca theory that my friends swear by]
Some other information: I just turned 26, and Charlie will be 22 in November. It's kind of weird being with a younger man. We'll be listening to the radio and he'll say "Oh, this song was popular when I was in 7th grade! I remember it!", and it was one of the songs played at my Junior Prom because it was popular then.

Anyway, I just wanted to say hello to everyone before I headed to bed and forgot :)

maturebrides @ 2005-10-01T01:45:00

2005-10-01T06:02:35Z

Hi and welcome to the community. Thanks to insolentmuse for opening the community up. I'll start off with an introduction.. ahem, :)

My name is Courtney, I'm 35 and live in New England with my FH and our pets.
My FH is named Wayne and he is 25, a born and raised New Englander and music theorist.
I work nights in a lab and he is a music student and works nights driving a cab.
We're getting married in the fall of 2006.

We met after I struck up a random conversation with a stranger at the laundrymat. This guy insisted I had to meet his friend because he said we were so much alike and had so many of the same interests. We were talking mostly about music. That night the guy calls me and invites me over to a gathering where a bunch of people were playing music and his friend and I have been together ever since. We met and saw fireworks and became best friends then partners!

One of the things I love most about Wayne is that we talk so deeply, our communication is very involved. My last long term relationship was hindered by someone that couldn't communicate and I'm appreciative that Wayne will come forward to talk things out rationally as often as I will. Aside from that we also talk every day as friends.. well special friends, ya know?

We also sing a lot. Every day after work we play songs and sing together, it's awesome. I get excited when he says, "Hey, try this harmony part"

We're planning this wedding as a literally ceremony for our new lives. We're entertwining tiny pieces of me and tiny pieces of him to celebrate us becoming a family.

I'm looking forward to meeting everyone :)