Short Letter #1
Dear Concert Goers, et.al.,
In the sordid days of my youth, I enjoyed going to concerts so that I could look at lots of peoples' butts while hearing something that may or may not have vaguely resembled a CD (or tape) in my collection. This was a serendipitous desire on my part because my fellow concert goers stood on all sides of me, and indeed, all I saw were butts in every direction. By merely looking straight ahead, my detailed explorations came to fruition.
Having completed my in-depth study of the "droop," boxers versus briefs, too-tight jeans, see-through pants, way too short skirts, and different ways people fondle each others's butts, I have decided that I would like to alter my concert-going experience and revert from my anal-retentive focus. I am hoping you find the resulting study, Rear View Mirror (available on Amazon) educational and informative. I know a lot of prison folk have really enjoyed it.
To that end, please be advised that I no longer need you to stand directly in front of me at a concert venue. That even means you, 6'5 guy with a foot-tall cowboy hat on. You are no longer required to stand directly in my field of vision whilst making out with your significant every other day. You do not need to stand in front of me and sway from side to side, thus teasing me with alternating non-views of the stage. All of your duties in this regard have been performed admirably, and I want to make that clear. My concert scrap book is nothing if not a collection of photos of butts, lit differently but generally creating the same ambiance. This scrapbook is currently in the hands of the FBI, by the way. Stay tuned.
I hope this can be an amicable separation. Crack a smile and know that you contributed something great to the world, and now your duty is done.
With amorous feelings for all,
~Me
In the sordid days of my youth, I enjoyed going to concerts so that I could look at lots of peoples' butts while hearing something that may or may not have vaguely resembled a CD (or tape) in my collection. This was a serendipitous desire on my part because my fellow concert goers stood on all sides of me, and indeed, all I saw were butts in every direction. By merely looking straight ahead, my detailed explorations came to fruition.
Having completed my in-depth study of the "droop," boxers versus briefs, too-tight jeans, see-through pants, way too short skirts, and different ways people fondle each others's butts, I have decided that I would like to alter my concert-going experience and revert from my anal-retentive focus. I am hoping you find the resulting study, Rear View Mirror (available on Amazon) educational and informative. I know a lot of prison folk have really enjoyed it.
To that end, please be advised that I no longer need you to stand directly in front of me at a concert venue. That even means you, 6'5 guy with a foot-tall cowboy hat on. You are no longer required to stand directly in my field of vision whilst making out with your significant every other day. You do not need to stand in front of me and sway from side to side, thus teasing me with alternating non-views of the stage. All of your duties in this regard have been performed admirably, and I want to make that clear. My concert scrap book is nothing if not a collection of photos of butts, lit differently but generally creating the same ambiance. This scrapbook is currently in the hands of the FBI, by the way. Stay tuned.
I hope this can be an amicable separation. Crack a smile and know that you contributed something great to the world, and now your duty is done.
With amorous feelings for all,
~Me
