Rating: R (for now but it most likely will go up)
Warnings: Sex, boy x boy loving, depression, alcoholism.
Summary: Harry and Louis were the best of friends and that was the only thing they could be. In Louis' case however, he wanted to change that. It was too late when he realized that he was slowly managing to tear the two of them apart because of it.
Disclaimer: I do not know any of One Direction and this story is 100% fan fiction. However, this plot is mine and each and every word belongs to me.
A/N: I'm sorry this took so long to update, but here you all go :)
Danielle had only been with them for a couple minutes and already Niall wished she would go back home. He knew that this thought was extremely selfish and he had no right to act this way, but he couldn't help it. He had never felt this distraught ever, not once in his whole entire life. He blamed it all on Liam who had managed to make him feel this way, who had made him feel so desperate and lonely when he wasn't by his side.
He vaguely remembered agreeing to not falling in love with the other boy but now this was way at the back of his mind, a place for 'later' rather than now. Maybe Niall would be a little less like this if Danielle was a run of the mill, normal and average girl. But she wasn't. No one could deny she was beautiful, what with her perfectly curly hair and her stunning brown eyes. She was so nice too, so much so that Niall just couldn't find it in himself to hate her. She knew nothing of what her boyfriend was doing to him or how before she came they had made out more than once.
He thought back to the first time they kissed and even though it was amazing, he kind of regretted it because if it hadn't happened then he wouldn't be feeling this way nor would he feel like he's being dishonest with Danielle.
The plane journey to Frankfurt was tiresome, Danielle and Liam obviously sat together but there was an empty space next to Liam on his right that was apparently reserved for him, well that's what Niall assumed anyway.
Although, he decided to stay away from the 'happy couple' and pushed in front of Zayn so he could sit with Harry and Louis, so Zayn had to sit with Liam and Danielle. This hadn't gone unnoticed by Zayn, as he was looking at Niall rather suspiciously now, while Niall tried to avoid contact with anyone because he was probably an open book at that point.
After that, Niall seemed to be coping, he'd try to blank out anything to do with Liam and Danielle and that seemed to be working. He'd grimace every so often when he heard the two of them laughing together, and would think 'what's so funny?'and 'why aren't you laughing about it with me, Liam?' All of this was doing his head in and sooner or later it would drive him completely insane.
He needed an outlet, anything to get rid of these emotions that were turmoiling inside of him. About half way through the journey, Niall felt like he was going to be sick, like properly puking sick. This whole stress seemed to make everything worse as Niall wasn't one to get like this on a plane, ever.
Louis and Harry didn't seem to notice the change, as they were both in their own little world discussing what it would be like if humans could fly themselves ("Like Superman, Harry! Or Peter Pan! That would be the most awesome thing ever.") or if we'd ever get technology for any kind of people to visit outer space, regardless of their social standing or who they were. Niall wasn't interested in such conversation and ended up staring blankly in front of him, simply in his own little bubble and hoping time would move faster.
He hadn't been interrupted until Zayn decided to whack a bar of chocolate nearly at his face, and dangle it in front of him. Niall stared at it longingly, hearing the cry for food from his neglected stomach. He hadn't really ate that much that morning, as he had decided he wasn't hungry but now he needed some comfort food. He looked at Zayn, a crooked smile on the other boy's mouth.
"You want it, Niall?" he asked, and Niall gave him a funny look wondering why he even had to ask that when he knew the answer was yes.
He grabbed at it, feeling like a child when Zayn pulled it away from him. He frowned not understanding why Zayn was playing with him...and his stomach.
"You'll only get it when you tell me what's the matter," Zayn instructed waiting for Niall's response.
Now that was plain unfair, it was not like Niall could possibly just tell everything to Zayn, no matter how good a friend he was. There are just some things that had to be kept secret and this was one of them. Niall had to make up some sort of excuse because he really was hungry, and he really wanted that chocolate bar, but lying wasn't exactly his best forte.
"Chocolate first, questions later?" he asked, already swooping in to grab the bar from his friend's hands.
Zayn was about to protest but he couldn't really deny Niall his food, anyway, he hadn't really ate that much that morning and even that had concerned him. The Blond boy ripped open the packet before chewing on the bar with delight seeping through his eyes. There was a collective snort from not only Zayn, but Harry and Louis too who were now looking at him now with interest.
"Yer not getting any!" he warned them, just to make sure.
Then they started laughing at him, at something so simple that sent the boys off into hysterics. Except Liam, who was way much more interested in Danielle, but Niall hadn't exactly noticed that. He raised an eyebrow at the boy's around him, it was possible that the flight was getting to their heads and they had began to lose their minds. Because that wasn't funny, at all. Well, not in Niall's perspective anyway.
Louis put a hand on Niall's shoulder. "Don't worry mate, it's all yours," he grinned cheekily.
Now this was something that didn't exactly occur to him. When Louis touched him on the shoulder, he felt nothing, no spark, no chemistry, nothing whatsoever. But when Liam did anything, even if he looked him in the eyes or said his name, Niall would be at his mercy. This just proved one thing, Niall had feelings for Liam and they were worse than he thought.
That rushing feeling of sick had arrived again and the chocolate that he was eating felt bitter in his mouth. He stood up rather fast, his eyes skimming the space of the aeroplane and suddenly feeling extremely claustrophobic. He rushed over to the toilet cubicle closing the door behind him. Something was terribly wrong with him. He pulled at his hair as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, wishing it could change with a click of his fingers.
"Why can't you be a girl?" he demanded to his reflection, "Why can't you be her."
~
That whole journey Harry was aching to be able to touch Louis, even holding his hand would suffice. He knew though that they couldn't do anything that went outside the boundary of just friends as they didn't want a repeat of that awful interview back in Berlin. They had been asked by multiple people on Twitter and in real life whether they were telling the truth.
Harry really wanted to tell them, he hated keeping secrets from the fans who had taken them this far. There was always something at the back of his mind, however, that reminded him of the complications if they were to speak the truth. That really was not an option right now.
When they arrived at the hotel, the third one which they had stayed at on this trip, Harry and Louis had no problem sharing a room. This was decided without even having to discuss it with the other as they wanted enough alone time they could get. Danielle and Liam were obviously sharing a room, leaving Zayn and Niall to share the other.
Harry had rushed up to the front desk, grabbing the key quickly when he received it and pulling Louis along to their room swiftly. Louis raised an eyebrow at this, interested in why Harry was in such a rush.
They found the room, not bothering to waste any time opening it because as soon as the door was shut behind them, Harry's lips were on Louis'. The older boy was shocked for some reason, but a smirk was beginning to form until he kissed back, with the same amount of passion and want that the other boy had.
His arms wrapped around Harry's neck, deepening the kiss. It would have gone further if not for the banging on the door. They both pulled away immediately, their eyes meeting each other and then back at the door.
"Oi! Can you open the door! Please?" Niall hit the door frame again with his fist as Louis did what he said and unlocked the door.
Niall gave him a thankful look before stepping inside, he had only been rooming with Zayn for what, two minutes? It seemed like he was already trying to find out what Niall was hiding.
"Is it alright if I share with you two, Zayn's being really irritating," he practically begged, he just hoped that the other two boys would stay out of his business too.
Across the whole all three boys heard a voice that was most definitely Zayn's, "I heard that, Niall!"
Niall ignored it, giving Louis and Harry a look that he thought would not fail to convince them. Besides, why would they not want to share with him?
Louis and Harry exchanged a look again, before Louis turned to him shaking his head, "Absolutely not."
Harry immediately stamped on Louis's foot frowning at him as the older boy whimpered with pain. The expression on Niall's face was akin to hurt and Harry didn't want Niall to feel this way just because of their selfishness.
"Can I just ask why you don't want to room with Zayn? What's the actual reason?" Harry inquired, curious.
Niall kind of wished now that he could go over to Liam's room and stay with him, but that was out of the question considering Danielle was there too. He stuttered on his own words, trying to find a lie that was convincing enough. Niall had found himself spinning lies a lot recently all because of this Liam problem. He sighed, deciding to give in and try and ward off Zayn's questions himself.
"It's fine, you go back to...whatever you were doing," He waved a hand at them before walking out of the room and shutting the door again.
Silence filled the room before Louis spoke up, his voice full with worry.
"He knows, doesn't he?" he asked looking at Harry who had the same expression stuck to his face.
But they were wrong as Niall had his own problems to deal with.
~
Niall had found himself wandering the hallways, not really wanting to go back to his room or go find refuge in anyone else's for that matter. He wanted to talk to Liam, for that he was desperate. He hadn't spoken to the older boy since Danielle came and he really didn't want it to carry on like that for the rest of her stay. But what could he do, Liam's attention was primarily fixed on her. He couldn't make him look his way.
All of this was making him hugely depressed and he couldn't take it. So much for not falling for Liam because that was what was slowly happening wether he liked it or not. He felt like wallowing in self pity that is before something or someone grabbed him by the back of his shirt and chucked him into the small space of the cleaner's closet.
The room was dark and for a second he began to panic and when hands reached out for him through that darkness he smacked them away, pushing the person back.
"Niall, stop - it's me, you idiot!" The hands stopped his own, gripping around them and stopping him from swatting them away.
He recognised the voice already and he was half pleased, half pissed that it was indeed Liam.
"Why did you chuck me into a closet, Liam? You nearly gave me a heart attack," his voice was still full of shock and sounded shaken.
He fumbled for any switch on the wall, finding one so that it lit up the room revealing the other boy to him.
"Why aren't you with Danielle?" he asked bluntly.
Liam's hand reached out for Niall's blond hair, playing with each strand with his fingertips. Niall closed his eyes loving the feeling that Liam had managed to stir up inside of him.
"I wanted to see you, I needed to see you," he leaned forwards placing a gentle kiss on the slightly smaller boy's forehead.
This was completely suffocating Niall, as much as he adored this, the little do-goodie at the back of his head told him otherwise. It warned him that he was leading Liam astray, that he was keeping him away from a girl who really did not need lying to. He'd like to be someone who didn't care about these things, but he did. He cared a lot.
Liam leaned in and kissed him slowly, the feeling causing butterflies to leap in his stomach as they both took a step back. The shelves dug into his back and at first this was uncomfortable but he managed to ignore it as his hands reached forward and....pushed him away.
Liam looked shocked, stunned even that Niall had done this but Niall couldn't take it. This was slowly killing him.
"No," he whispered, "No, I just - I can't."
This didn't make any sense to Liam whatsoever who was looking at him both hurt and confused.
"I'm sorry but I'm not the kind of person to do this without requiring feelings," he admitted.
"You said not to fall for you but that's not possible for me. I'm sorry but I've fallen in love with you," Niall continued staring at Liam's face to find a positive reaction or anything that would make him feel better about this.
Liam was lost for words, his eyes were blown wide as he took a step back, his hand clumsily finding the door handle.
"I can't choose between you and Danielle, Niall. It's either this or we stop it altogether," he suggested.
Niall should have known, he should have known that he would never be better than Danielle. That's just how things were and he should have owned up to that a while ago.
"I don't want to be second best to her. I can't do that," he confessed.
Liam nodded in understanding, he opened the door taking a step out. His eyes were filled with sadness, as he managed to reply, "Okay, I guess that's it then."
And with that he left Niall alone in the space of the small closet, as he sank down to the floor, bringing his knees to his chest. He couldn't even cry, all he did was stare blankly at the wall, his heart snapping in two.
Warnings: Sex, boy x boy loving, depression, alcoholism.
Summary: Harry and Louis were the best of friends and that was the only thing they could be. In Louis' case however, he wanted to change that. It was too late when he realized that he was slowly managing to tear the two of them apart because of it.
Disclaimer: I do not know any of One Direction and this story is 100% fan fiction. However, this plot is mine and each and every word belongs to me.
A/N: I'm sorry this took so long to update, but here you all go :)
Danielle had only been with them for a couple minutes and already Niall wished she would go back home. He knew that this thought was extremely selfish and he had no right to act this way, but he couldn't help it. He had never felt this distraught ever, not once in his whole entire life. He blamed it all on Liam who had managed to make him feel this way, who had made him feel so desperate and lonely when he wasn't by his side.
He vaguely remembered agreeing to not falling in love with the other boy but now this was way at the back of his mind, a place for 'later' rather than now. Maybe Niall would be a little less like this if Danielle was a run of the mill, normal and average girl. But she wasn't. No one could deny she was beautiful, what with her perfectly curly hair and her stunning brown eyes. She was so nice too, so much so that Niall just couldn't find it in himself to hate her. She knew nothing of what her boyfriend was doing to him or how before she came they had made out more than once.
He thought back to the first time they kissed and even though it was amazing, he kind of regretted it because if it hadn't happened then he wouldn't be feeling this way nor would he feel like he's being dishonest with Danielle.
The plane journey to Frankfurt was tiresome, Danielle and Liam obviously sat together but there was an empty space next to Liam on his right that was apparently reserved for him, well that's what Niall assumed anyway.
Although, he decided to stay away from the 'happy couple' and pushed in front of Zayn so he could sit with Harry and Louis, so Zayn had to sit with Liam and Danielle. This hadn't gone unnoticed by Zayn, as he was looking at Niall rather suspiciously now, while Niall tried to avoid contact with anyone because he was probably an open book at that point.
After that, Niall seemed to be coping, he'd try to blank out anything to do with Liam and Danielle and that seemed to be working. He'd grimace every so often when he heard the two of them laughing together, and would think 'what's so funny?'and 'why aren't you laughing about it with me, Liam?' All of this was doing his head in and sooner or later it would drive him completely insane.
He needed an outlet, anything to get rid of these emotions that were turmoiling inside of him. About half way through the journey, Niall felt like he was going to be sick, like properly puking sick. This whole stress seemed to make everything worse as Niall wasn't one to get like this on a plane, ever.
Louis and Harry didn't seem to notice the change, as they were both in their own little world discussing what it would be like if humans could fly themselves ("Like Superman, Harry! Or Peter Pan! That would be the most awesome thing ever.") or if we'd ever get technology for any kind of people to visit outer space, regardless of their social standing or who they were. Niall wasn't interested in such conversation and ended up staring blankly in front of him, simply in his own little bubble and hoping time would move faster.
He hadn't been interrupted until Zayn decided to whack a bar of chocolate nearly at his face, and dangle it in front of him. Niall stared at it longingly, hearing the cry for food from his neglected stomach. He hadn't really ate that much that morning, as he had decided he wasn't hungry but now he needed some comfort food. He looked at Zayn, a crooked smile on the other boy's mouth.
"You want it, Niall?" he asked, and Niall gave him a funny look wondering why he even had to ask that when he knew the answer was yes.
He grabbed at it, feeling like a child when Zayn pulled it away from him. He frowned not understanding why Zayn was playing with him...and his stomach.
"You'll only get it when you tell me what's the matter," Zayn instructed waiting for Niall's response.
Now that was plain unfair, it was not like Niall could possibly just tell everything to Zayn, no matter how good a friend he was. There are just some things that had to be kept secret and this was one of them. Niall had to make up some sort of excuse because he really was hungry, and he really wanted that chocolate bar, but lying wasn't exactly his best forte.
"Chocolate first, questions later?" he asked, already swooping in to grab the bar from his friend's hands.
Zayn was about to protest but he couldn't really deny Niall his food, anyway, he hadn't really ate that much that morning and even that had concerned him. The Blond boy ripped open the packet before chewing on the bar with delight seeping through his eyes. There was a collective snort from not only Zayn, but Harry and Louis too who were now looking at him now with interest.
"Yer not getting any!" he warned them, just to make sure.
Then they started laughing at him, at something so simple that sent the boys off into hysterics. Except Liam, who was way much more interested in Danielle, but Niall hadn't exactly noticed that. He raised an eyebrow at the boy's around him, it was possible that the flight was getting to their heads and they had began to lose their minds. Because that wasn't funny, at all. Well, not in Niall's perspective anyway.
Louis put a hand on Niall's shoulder. "Don't worry mate, it's all yours," he grinned cheekily.
Now this was something that didn't exactly occur to him. When Louis touched him on the shoulder, he felt nothing, no spark, no chemistry, nothing whatsoever. But when Liam did anything, even if he looked him in the eyes or said his name, Niall would be at his mercy. This just proved one thing, Niall had feelings for Liam and they were worse than he thought.
That rushing feeling of sick had arrived again and the chocolate that he was eating felt bitter in his mouth. He stood up rather fast, his eyes skimming the space of the aeroplane and suddenly feeling extremely claustrophobic. He rushed over to the toilet cubicle closing the door behind him. Something was terribly wrong with him. He pulled at his hair as he looked at his reflection in the mirror, wishing it could change with a click of his fingers.
"Why can't you be a girl?" he demanded to his reflection, "Why can't you be her."
~
That whole journey Harry was aching to be able to touch Louis, even holding his hand would suffice. He knew though that they couldn't do anything that went outside the boundary of just friends as they didn't want a repeat of that awful interview back in Berlin. They had been asked by multiple people on Twitter and in real life whether they were telling the truth.
Harry really wanted to tell them, he hated keeping secrets from the fans who had taken them this far. There was always something at the back of his mind, however, that reminded him of the complications if they were to speak the truth. That really was not an option right now.
When they arrived at the hotel, the third one which they had stayed at on this trip, Harry and Louis had no problem sharing a room. This was decided without even having to discuss it with the other as they wanted enough alone time they could get. Danielle and Liam were obviously sharing a room, leaving Zayn and Niall to share the other.
Harry had rushed up to the front desk, grabbing the key quickly when he received it and pulling Louis along to their room swiftly. Louis raised an eyebrow at this, interested in why Harry was in such a rush.
They found the room, not bothering to waste any time opening it because as soon as the door was shut behind them, Harry's lips were on Louis'. The older boy was shocked for some reason, but a smirk was beginning to form until he kissed back, with the same amount of passion and want that the other boy had.
His arms wrapped around Harry's neck, deepening the kiss. It would have gone further if not for the banging on the door. They both pulled away immediately, their eyes meeting each other and then back at the door.
"Oi! Can you open the door! Please?" Niall hit the door frame again with his fist as Louis did what he said and unlocked the door.
Niall gave him a thankful look before stepping inside, he had only been rooming with Zayn for what, two minutes? It seemed like he was already trying to find out what Niall was hiding.
"Is it alright if I share with you two, Zayn's being really irritating," he practically begged, he just hoped that the other two boys would stay out of his business too.
Across the whole all three boys heard a voice that was most definitely Zayn's, "I heard that, Niall!"
Niall ignored it, giving Louis and Harry a look that he thought would not fail to convince them. Besides, why would they not want to share with him?
Louis and Harry exchanged a look again, before Louis turned to him shaking his head, "Absolutely not."
Harry immediately stamped on Louis's foot frowning at him as the older boy whimpered with pain. The expression on Niall's face was akin to hurt and Harry didn't want Niall to feel this way just because of their selfishness.
"Can I just ask why you don't want to room with Zayn? What's the actual reason?" Harry inquired, curious.
Niall kind of wished now that he could go over to Liam's room and stay with him, but that was out of the question considering Danielle was there too. He stuttered on his own words, trying to find a lie that was convincing enough. Niall had found himself spinning lies a lot recently all because of this Liam problem. He sighed, deciding to give in and try and ward off Zayn's questions himself.
"It's fine, you go back to...whatever you were doing," He waved a hand at them before walking out of the room and shutting the door again.
Silence filled the room before Louis spoke up, his voice full with worry.
"He knows, doesn't he?" he asked looking at Harry who had the same expression stuck to his face.
But they were wrong as Niall had his own problems to deal with.
~
Niall had found himself wandering the hallways, not really wanting to go back to his room or go find refuge in anyone else's for that matter. He wanted to talk to Liam, for that he was desperate. He hadn't spoken to the older boy since Danielle came and he really didn't want it to carry on like that for the rest of her stay. But what could he do, Liam's attention was primarily fixed on her. He couldn't make him look his way.
All of this was making him hugely depressed and he couldn't take it. So much for not falling for Liam because that was what was slowly happening wether he liked it or not. He felt like wallowing in self pity that is before something or someone grabbed him by the back of his shirt and chucked him into the small space of the cleaner's closet.
The room was dark and for a second he began to panic and when hands reached out for him through that darkness he smacked them away, pushing the person back.
"Niall, stop - it's me, you idiot!" The hands stopped his own, gripping around them and stopping him from swatting them away.
He recognised the voice already and he was half pleased, half pissed that it was indeed Liam.
"Why did you chuck me into a closet, Liam? You nearly gave me a heart attack," his voice was still full of shock and sounded shaken.
He fumbled for any switch on the wall, finding one so that it lit up the room revealing the other boy to him.
"Why aren't you with Danielle?" he asked bluntly.
Liam's hand reached out for Niall's blond hair, playing with each strand with his fingertips. Niall closed his eyes loving the feeling that Liam had managed to stir up inside of him.
"I wanted to see you, I needed to see you," he leaned forwards placing a gentle kiss on the slightly smaller boy's forehead.
This was completely suffocating Niall, as much as he adored this, the little do-goodie at the back of his head told him otherwise. It warned him that he was leading Liam astray, that he was keeping him away from a girl who really did not need lying to. He'd like to be someone who didn't care about these things, but he did. He cared a lot.
Liam leaned in and kissed him slowly, the feeling causing butterflies to leap in his stomach as they both took a step back. The shelves dug into his back and at first this was uncomfortable but he managed to ignore it as his hands reached forward and....pushed him away.
Liam looked shocked, stunned even that Niall had done this but Niall couldn't take it. This was slowly killing him.
"No," he whispered, "No, I just - I can't."
This didn't make any sense to Liam whatsoever who was looking at him both hurt and confused.
"I'm sorry but I'm not the kind of person to do this without requiring feelings," he admitted.
"You said not to fall for you but that's not possible for me. I'm sorry but I've fallen in love with you," Niall continued staring at Liam's face to find a positive reaction or anything that would make him feel better about this.
Liam was lost for words, his eyes were blown wide as he took a step back, his hand clumsily finding the door handle.
"I can't choose between you and Danielle, Niall. It's either this or we stop it altogether," he suggested.
Niall should have known, he should have known that he would never be better than Danielle. That's just how things were and he should have owned up to that a while ago.
"I don't want to be second best to her. I can't do that," he confessed.
Liam nodded in understanding, he opened the door taking a step out. His eyes were filled with sadness, as he managed to reply, "Okay, I guess that's it then."
And with that he left Niall alone in the space of the small closet, as he sank down to the floor, bringing his knees to his chest. He couldn't even cry, all he did was stare blankly at the wall, his heart snapping in two.
