Sweet Misery chapter twenty eight
Rating: R (for now but it most likely will go up)
Warnings: Sex, boy x boy loving, depression, alcoholism.
Summary: Harry and Louis were the best of friends and that was the only thing they could be. In Louis' case however, he wanted to change that. It was too late when he realized that he was slowly managing to tear the two of them apart because of it.
Disclaimer: I do not know any of One Direction and this story is 100% fan fiction. However, this plot is mine and each and every word belongs to me.
There it was again, another creak coming from the small bed Liam had been forced to sleep in. Niall was wide awake, not being able to get to sleep because of the annoying sounds that it made and also because he was worried for Liam. They were both going to be exhausted in the morning when they had to get up.
Niall turned around so he could see Liam, he sighed knowing that he couldn't just watch him while he lay happily in his comfortable bed. Besides, there was enough room for not only him and Liam could definitely fit in. Niall was no longer thinking about the repercussions that it would make, he was only looking out for his friend.
"Liam?" he started as Liam rolled over to face him, "You can sleep here."
Liam shook his head. "I don't think that's-"
"Come on, if you sleep on that thing then none of us will get any sleep and we won't look our usual lovely selves in the morning, now will we?" he patted the empty space beside him.
It did make sense but Liam knew that being so close to Niall like that wouldn't be good. Even so, he was so damn tired and all he cared about was shutting his eyes and dreaming the night away. Any thoughts about the proximity was pushed to the back of his mind as he stood up and made his way over to Niall's bed. Niall moved over to create space as Liam climbed in, pulling the covers over him as the two were brought into another silence.
Liam stared up at the ceiling, figuring out that sleeping next to the blond boy maybe more difficult than he had first thought. On the other hand, Niall couldn't keep his eyes open, they were drooping and any second he would shut them and sink into a world of fantasy and make believe. Liam couldn't help but look at him, thinking that he looked so cute and innocent like this.
"I don't think I can do it," Niall yawned, holding onto a pillow the same way you would hold on to a teddy bear.
"Do what?" Liam wondered.
Niall smiled at him, making Liam feel like hugging him. He rubbed at his eyes, seeming to be on the brink of being awake and falling asleep.
"I can't pretend that you...I-" His eyelids fluttered before closing completely as he drifted off and left Liam alone with the sound of Niall's breathing and those last words he spoke.
~
The lights switched on, illuminating the room making Harry squint before adjusting the light. Zayn was already asleep in the bed beside him, so he hadn't woken up to the light being turned on. He clambered out of bed, knowing that Louis had to be the culprit who had switched the light on and woken him up. He could hear the older boy fumbling about and as Harry approached closer, the lights went off leaving him in darkness again.
"Louis?" he asked, hoping to get a response. He couldn't see much as the lights were no longer on, he stuck his hands out and nearly tripped when his foot came in contact with something, that something being Louis.
The older boy had sunken to the floor, bringing his knees up to his chest as he stared blankly into the distance. Harry could see him a bit better as the artificial light from the lamp post outside shined through their window. He was shocked to see dried tears on Louis' face. The boy looked messed up, his hair sticking up and his clothes disheveled.
"Are you alright?" he inquired.
Louis turned his head so he wasn't facing him as he attempted to wipe the tears away. "I'm fucking fine," he slurred.
Louis had been out drinking, that's where he had been all that time. Harry should have guessed it, he did wreak of it. This was worse than any other time before, Louis looked like he had drunk too much for any normal person to consume.
"You don't look fine, what's wrong?" He was being a good friend but Louis acted like that really wasn't what he needed from Harry.
"Why is it that I never get what I want? I thought everything was going perfectly fine with Eleanor - then she dumped me. Then to make things bloody worse, I fall for you." He reached out for Harry through the darkness, touching his cheek. "But I can't have you either."
He brought his hand away from Harry as he tried to blink back tears but failed, as some began to stream down his cheeks. He buried his head in his arms, not wanting Harry to see him at his weakest state.
"Why can't you love me," he sniffled, "Am I not good enough for you? Is that it?"
Harry hated seeing Louis like this, it was almost unnatural. He had been used to seeing the chirpy, hyper and silly Louis who they all knew and loved. This Louis was different, he wanted him to stop crying.
"Please stop," he begged referring to the tears, "Don't think of yourself that way, you're perfect Louis. You really are."
"Shut up," Louis hit him slightly, "Why do you have to say that? It won't make a difference."
It was quite surprising how Zayn was sound asleep through all of this, Harry was hoping it would stay that way for what he was about to do.
"Louis, look at me," he instructed as Louis did so obligingly meeting Harry's beautiful green eyes.
He felt hypnotized, almost like he had been put under Harry's spell. This was the power Harry had on him, the younger boy was so wonderful to him, so damn wonderful.
"Can't you leave me alone to mope about the fact that I'm in love with my straight best friend, who doesn't love me back because-"
Louis never got to finish his sentence as Harry had made sure he wouldn't be able to. Louis' eyes widened as he realized that Harry's lips were on his and he was kissing him. It took a few seconds for the shock to blow over until he was kissing him back, his hand finding the back of Harry's neck, his eyes closing.
He felt Harry pull away as he opened his eyes again, watching the younger boy smirk at him.
"Why did you do that?"
Harry shrugged. "To make you stop crying," he answered, "It worked, didn't it?"
It did indeed, tears were no longer trickling down Louis' cheeks. Still, he didn't understand why Harry had done it. The boy had been so determined that he was straight, so why did he have to go against that and kiss him? Even if it was apparently to make him stop crying. He wouldn't complain though, he loved it and it was everything that he imagined it would be.
"I don't understand." He frowned, "I thought you didn't think of me like that."
Harry looked away, biting his lip. It had been a spur of the moment sort of thing, Louis was crying and he didn't know what to do. He panicked and wanted Louis to know that he did care, he cared so much.
"It was a bit of self discovery on my part, I wanted to see if kissing you made me feel anything," he admitted.
Louis snorted, feeling like he had been used as a guinea pig in a test. He was curious though as to what discovery the curly haired boy had made. He leaned forwards, suddenly returning to that boy Harry had first met, the one in boot camp who he couldn't stop thinking about now. Louis smirked at him, "So did you feel anything?"
"Yeah, I felt something. I kind of liked it."
"Kind of?"
Harry shrugged, mirroring Louis' smile as the two sat in the darkness of the room, the mood brightening up between them. Harry had been selfish, he had pretended that he had never thought of Louis in that way only because he was scared for what could happen. If he was honest, he had never been completely straight, he just hadn't realized it until Louis came along into his life.
"I'm sorry for being a prick. I did like you like that too, I didn't want to accept it," he apologized.
Louis didn't mind at all, he was still pretty drunk, his words seeming not to be as well said as they were when sober, but he would remember this. He had to remember it. Harry was giving him a chance and he couldn't have been any happier. They forgot about Management or anyone outside of their personal bubble, for a second it could be only the two of them, they didn't have to have a care in the world. Everything was going to go perfectly.
They were wrong though, the nightmare was only just beginning.
Warnings: Sex, boy x boy loving, depression, alcoholism.
Summary: Harry and Louis were the best of friends and that was the only thing they could be. In Louis' case however, he wanted to change that. It was too late when he realized that he was slowly managing to tear the two of them apart because of it.
Disclaimer: I do not know any of One Direction and this story is 100% fan fiction. However, this plot is mine and each and every word belongs to me.
There it was again, another creak coming from the small bed Liam had been forced to sleep in. Niall was wide awake, not being able to get to sleep because of the annoying sounds that it made and also because he was worried for Liam. They were both going to be exhausted in the morning when they had to get up.
Niall turned around so he could see Liam, he sighed knowing that he couldn't just watch him while he lay happily in his comfortable bed. Besides, there was enough room for not only him and Liam could definitely fit in. Niall was no longer thinking about the repercussions that it would make, he was only looking out for his friend.
"Liam?" he started as Liam rolled over to face him, "You can sleep here."
Liam shook his head. "I don't think that's-"
"Come on, if you sleep on that thing then none of us will get any sleep and we won't look our usual lovely selves in the morning, now will we?" he patted the empty space beside him.
It did make sense but Liam knew that being so close to Niall like that wouldn't be good. Even so, he was so damn tired and all he cared about was shutting his eyes and dreaming the night away. Any thoughts about the proximity was pushed to the back of his mind as he stood up and made his way over to Niall's bed. Niall moved over to create space as Liam climbed in, pulling the covers over him as the two were brought into another silence.
Liam stared up at the ceiling, figuring out that sleeping next to the blond boy maybe more difficult than he had first thought. On the other hand, Niall couldn't keep his eyes open, they were drooping and any second he would shut them and sink into a world of fantasy and make believe. Liam couldn't help but look at him, thinking that he looked so cute and innocent like this.
"I don't think I can do it," Niall yawned, holding onto a pillow the same way you would hold on to a teddy bear.
"Do what?" Liam wondered.
Niall smiled at him, making Liam feel like hugging him. He rubbed at his eyes, seeming to be on the brink of being awake and falling asleep.
"I can't pretend that you...I-" His eyelids fluttered before closing completely as he drifted off and left Liam alone with the sound of Niall's breathing and those last words he spoke.
~
The lights switched on, illuminating the room making Harry squint before adjusting the light. Zayn was already asleep in the bed beside him, so he hadn't woken up to the light being turned on. He clambered out of bed, knowing that Louis had to be the culprit who had switched the light on and woken him up. He could hear the older boy fumbling about and as Harry approached closer, the lights went off leaving him in darkness again.
"Louis?" he asked, hoping to get a response. He couldn't see much as the lights were no longer on, he stuck his hands out and nearly tripped when his foot came in contact with something, that something being Louis.
The older boy had sunken to the floor, bringing his knees up to his chest as he stared blankly into the distance. Harry could see him a bit better as the artificial light from the lamp post outside shined through their window. He was shocked to see dried tears on Louis' face. The boy looked messed up, his hair sticking up and his clothes disheveled.
"Are you alright?" he inquired.
Louis turned his head so he wasn't facing him as he attempted to wipe the tears away. "I'm fucking fine," he slurred.
Louis had been out drinking, that's where he had been all that time. Harry should have guessed it, he did wreak of it. This was worse than any other time before, Louis looked like he had drunk too much for any normal person to consume.
"You don't look fine, what's wrong?" He was being a good friend but Louis acted like that really wasn't what he needed from Harry.
"Why is it that I never get what I want? I thought everything was going perfectly fine with Eleanor - then she dumped me. Then to make things bloody worse, I fall for you." He reached out for Harry through the darkness, touching his cheek. "But I can't have you either."
He brought his hand away from Harry as he tried to blink back tears but failed, as some began to stream down his cheeks. He buried his head in his arms, not wanting Harry to see him at his weakest state.
"Why can't you love me," he sniffled, "Am I not good enough for you? Is that it?"
Harry hated seeing Louis like this, it was almost unnatural. He had been used to seeing the chirpy, hyper and silly Louis who they all knew and loved. This Louis was different, he wanted him to stop crying.
"Please stop," he begged referring to the tears, "Don't think of yourself that way, you're perfect Louis. You really are."
"Shut up," Louis hit him slightly, "Why do you have to say that? It won't make a difference."
It was quite surprising how Zayn was sound asleep through all of this, Harry was hoping it would stay that way for what he was about to do.
"Louis, look at me," he instructed as Louis did so obligingly meeting Harry's beautiful green eyes.
He felt hypnotized, almost like he had been put under Harry's spell. This was the power Harry had on him, the younger boy was so wonderful to him, so damn wonderful.
"Can't you leave me alone to mope about the fact that I'm in love with my straight best friend, who doesn't love me back because-"
Louis never got to finish his sentence as Harry had made sure he wouldn't be able to. Louis' eyes widened as he realized that Harry's lips were on his and he was kissing him. It took a few seconds for the shock to blow over until he was kissing him back, his hand finding the back of Harry's neck, his eyes closing.
He felt Harry pull away as he opened his eyes again, watching the younger boy smirk at him.
"Why did you do that?"
Harry shrugged. "To make you stop crying," he answered, "It worked, didn't it?"
It did indeed, tears were no longer trickling down Louis' cheeks. Still, he didn't understand why Harry had done it. The boy had been so determined that he was straight, so why did he have to go against that and kiss him? Even if it was apparently to make him stop crying. He wouldn't complain though, he loved it and it was everything that he imagined it would be.
"I don't understand." He frowned, "I thought you didn't think of me like that."
Harry looked away, biting his lip. It had been a spur of the moment sort of thing, Louis was crying and he didn't know what to do. He panicked and wanted Louis to know that he did care, he cared so much.
"It was a bit of self discovery on my part, I wanted to see if kissing you made me feel anything," he admitted.
Louis snorted, feeling like he had been used as a guinea pig in a test. He was curious though as to what discovery the curly haired boy had made. He leaned forwards, suddenly returning to that boy Harry had first met, the one in boot camp who he couldn't stop thinking about now. Louis smirked at him, "So did you feel anything?"
"Yeah, I felt something. I kind of liked it."
"Kind of?"
Harry shrugged, mirroring Louis' smile as the two sat in the darkness of the room, the mood brightening up between them. Harry had been selfish, he had pretended that he had never thought of Louis in that way only because he was scared for what could happen. If he was honest, he had never been completely straight, he just hadn't realized it until Louis came along into his life.
"I'm sorry for being a prick. I did like you like that too, I didn't want to accept it," he apologized.
Louis didn't mind at all, he was still pretty drunk, his words seeming not to be as well said as they were when sober, but he would remember this. He had to remember it. Harry was giving him a chance and he couldn't have been any happier. They forgot about Management or anyone outside of their personal bubble, for a second it could be only the two of them, they didn't have to have a care in the world. Everything was going to go perfectly.
They were wrong though, the nightmare was only just beginning.
