a breakthrough in loving the self
quality friendships with worthwhile people are becoming increasingly important to me.
the death of a friendship always feel bad, at first. for whatever reason, there's a bad feeling. maybe because you put so much effort into it, for what turned out to be nothing. or maybe because you feel betrayed. but there's always an initial bad feeling. i've been finding more recently that, as each of these friendships dissolve, i feel a lot better afterward. i actually feel relieved! most friendships are kept only for longevity's sake, which is really silly. i was not picky about my friends when i was younger. i'm still not incredibly picky, but i am getting much better at filtering out those i know will not be good for me.
yes, i still relate a lot more to people who are miserable than those who have had happy lives...but i find myself smiling more and enjoying my life more when happy, kind, intelligent people are around. i'm trying to get more of those in my life.
on rare occasions, those i became close to through misery have found their own happiness (this is always the best type of happiness). in those instances, it's best if we are together when we are both happy, for it is much too easy for either of us to fall back into being miserable.
it may seem selfish to want what is best for me, but what's best for me really influences how productive i am at work, how i treat others, and how good i am as a member of society.
so, overall, it's good. even if i still can't grasp that whole self-love thing, at least i can mesh with that. happy me is less prone to be sick, ailing me. so i should work hard to keep me happy.
the death of a friendship always feel bad, at first. for whatever reason, there's a bad feeling. maybe because you put so much effort into it, for what turned out to be nothing. or maybe because you feel betrayed. but there's always an initial bad feeling. i've been finding more recently that, as each of these friendships dissolve, i feel a lot better afterward. i actually feel relieved! most friendships are kept only for longevity's sake, which is really silly. i was not picky about my friends when i was younger. i'm still not incredibly picky, but i am getting much better at filtering out those i know will not be good for me.
yes, i still relate a lot more to people who are miserable than those who have had happy lives...but i find myself smiling more and enjoying my life more when happy, kind, intelligent people are around. i'm trying to get more of those in my life.
on rare occasions, those i became close to through misery have found their own happiness (this is always the best type of happiness). in those instances, it's best if we are together when we are both happy, for it is much too easy for either of us to fall back into being miserable.
it may seem selfish to want what is best for me, but what's best for me really influences how productive i am at work, how i treat others, and how good i am as a member of society.
so, overall, it's good. even if i still can't grasp that whole self-love thing, at least i can mesh with that. happy me is less prone to be sick, ailing me. so i should work hard to keep me happy.
