Funnies Nicked From The JEC Magazine

Spoofed Jaguar mechanics job sheets nicked from the club magazine for your amusement:

Comment: Left inside tyre almost needs replacement
Mechanics Response: Almost replaced left inside tyre

Comment: Something loose inside car
Mechanics Response: Tightened something inside car

Comment: Dead bugs on windscreen
Mechanics Response: Live bugs on back order

Comment: Noise level unbelievably loud
Mechanics Response: Noise level volume set to more believable level

Comment: Audio system hums
Mechanics Response: Reprogrammed audio system with lyrics

Comment: Cruise control inoperative in OFF mode
Mechanics Response: Cruise control always inoperative in OFF mode

Comment: Noise like small midget with a hammer coming from behind instrument panel
Mechanics Response: Removed hammer from midget

And, especially for sheepthief:
Comment: Mouse in engine compartment
Mechanics Response: Cat installed