I got out of dinner. I did the spit and chew.
I was being watched like a hawk.

I had a Hot choco earlier

so total today was 200 cals.


I hated tonight. Everyone made comments
kept telling me to be happy, kept bringing up how i never smile
that I look so sad.
wtf do i have to plaster a smile to my face?

then later in the night we were all in the living room
and my dad was talking about how he's so good looking
and naturally thin, and my grandma was all llike thats not all that's important
adn he was like well if your 400 pounds you have no self-control.
my grandma shot me a look, and told my dad, well you dont have to be thin
and my dad just went on and on. kind of ironic I think.
when hes pouring food down my fucking throat.

on the ride home my mom was like ur aunt is tiny how much do u think she weighs

i was like 100.

no, she was 110, and 5'2'
appearently I"m under 110 adn 5'5''
and disgusting to my mother.

none of this is acurate to my knowledge
she says thats because I am anorexic

fuck it all

I didn't eat today.