Although I could twitter almost everything, I feel like blogging has more privacy..

I should've just made a really private blog that no one else knows..

Today I saw a guy about to jump off the forever 21 building at union square..It was 4 floors high. I was on the escalator when I realized there was a huuuuuuge crowd looking up at something. I too looked up and saw him. He was looking down, kind of like hesitating. He was blond, shoulder-length hair, wearing blue shorts, no tops. I wonder what people are thinking when they are about to attempt a suicide.. Do they start to doubt if they really want to die or not? I've come to that point of life once, and I do start to doubt

Anyway, I was on my way to muni and I figured I was too tired to watch and wait for the guy to jump..so I just continued my way in the powell underground muni station..and as I was about to put it my fastpass in, I heard the crowd scream and everyone ran up the escalator. I think he was dead..I think. I'm not sure. I know that cause I just googled it and people said he was dead. Well, RIP buddy. I feel bad when I said I should've waited for the moment, cause I emailed my mom and she "scolded" me because we are supposed to pray for people like him. Our jobs as Christians are not only to save lives, but literally SAVE LIVES. Suicidal people are full of satan. Think of how much the Lord could do with one life. Okay, I don't want to sound too religious, but it's true.

As for the moment I've been sneezing a lot these past 2 days. I don't know why. I just feel tired all the time. I think if I could wake up tomorrow, I want to go for a run. I've so many problems in my life right now, too busy to do anything right. My room is a mess. I still need to unpack 1 luggage from Taiwan ( I came back like almost a month ago). I need to fold my clean clothes that I washed like 2-3 weeks ago. I don't know if I need to pack or unpack my things cause our landlord is "kicking" us out and I feel my roomate is really on her side. She said that we need to put off our preference if it's really the Lord, but what about my preference? What about others' preference? She liked the house cause it fits her preference. She's okay with the walking distance from the muni, but I'm not. She likes the rooms because she could afford it, and plus she has access to the den room with the ocean view that she could do her homework in. But what about the rest of us who have the room in the living room and the room next to the kitchen? Argh..I don't know..there's just so many things to do and think about I can't really put my mind into one thing..May the Lord just cover me in this matter.

For the time being, I would like to log off..and possibly continue my sweet and sad dream from my evening nap. (I dreamt about gathering together with my grandparents, getting along together with my sisters, and the saints was also there. Somehow there's alex too, which made the dream a bit sad cause I didn't have the chance to say goodbye to him, and I don't know when is the next time I'm going to see him since he's not from SF, so he won't be coming back here during the breaks. Goodbyes are so sad..I'm now thinking about goodbyes in a more serious way cause now I'm in my senior year. I don't know what's gonna happen when I graduate. 1 year is short. It will pass by so fast. I just need to grasp every moment now....make every day counts...breathe the san franciscan air...not complain when muni comes late..start being talkative n making friends...care more about the saints...i must not be lame.......sigh..)