Bell Runners

Several of us are running as BellRunners for Leeland in the Mercedes Marathon.Our goal is to raise $100 per mile. To donate, visit https://give.everydayhero.com/us/team-unseen

Also, from now until the race on February 14. A portion of all tshirts sales will go toward The Bell Center.

T Shirts

I just wanted to update everyone on the shirts. I placed the second order of shirts several weeks ago and they came in the day before we checked Leeland into the hospital last week for his 24 hour EEG. I decided to wait until we got home to open them. It definitely gave me something to look forward to when we got home. When I opened them they were the wrong color. Boo!!! Long story short, I've had to ship back an original shirt to the printer so they can get the correct color. I am working with a non profit who outsources the printing, so they couldn't give me an estimate of when the shirts will be shipped. Hopefully soon. If you've placed an order and haven't received it yet, I am so sorry! I will let y'all know when I know when they might be delivered so you can be on the lookout. Thanks for understanding.

UNSEEN

I just shipped out the last of the first order of shirts. I've placed a second order and a third order is already in the works. I never imagined for a second that they would get such a response. I am so thankful, but more than that I have this sense of purpose that I've never felt before. This is bigger than Leeland, or me or my family. Who knew you actually had to "take steps" for the Lord to guide them? Ha. The follow through has never been my strong suit. I want more than anything to spread this message of hope, and the path laid out before me is incredibly, divinely clear. I've worn my shirt A LOT. I feel like it's my own personal bumper sticker reminding me to shift my perspective on life. It's a label I proudly wear. UNSEEN. See the real me, see who God created me to be, see my heart, see what matters, see those things in others, see those things in yourself. My prayer is that everyone who wears them will feel the same way. Based on how many shirts I've sold, there's a whole UNSEEN army out there. It sort of feels like we're letting others in on this secret to life, Gods eternal promise. It's not a secret though and it should be "proclaimed to all creation."  I know they are just t shirts, but the conversation has to start somewhere and why not with a shirt? Thank you all for helping me proclaim Him.

Unseen

2 Corinthians 4:17-18

17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

Leeland is the perfect metaphor of this verse wrapped up in one tiny person.  His vision impairment is one of his biggest hurdles. Though his contacts allow him some sight, the world around him is mostly "unseen."  We know he senses our unconditional love for him. We know he trusts that we will protect him and do what is best for him. Every now and then when his eyes lock with mine, I feel like he is looking straight into my soul and what he sees is the good, the love, the unseen. 

I have to admit that before Leeland was born, I didn't exactly have an eternal perspective on life. It always seemed sort of sad to me, but that's because I didn't really understand what it meant. God created us all for eternity and gives us this time on earth as an opportunity to enter into a relationship with Him.  It's the ups and downs of life that should draw us closer to Him, to lean on Him, to walk with Him.  It affects our priorities and our actions. It changes the way we treat and see others.  It is the real key to life and it took Leeland for me to really get it. 

Looking at Leeland, someone might see scars, on his eyes and his head. A two year old that can't walk or talk. Tonic and myoclonic seizures. Erratic muscle movements. A right hand, arm and leg that don't function properly. Wandering eyes. And global developmental delay. I used to see those things too. How can you not. But that's not all I see now. Leeland has completely shifted our focus to an eternal perspective and is a constant reminder that our hope is in the unseen. 

Today is one year since Leeland's hemispherectomy.  A surgery that we had hoped would be a cure-all. It wasn't. We don't know what God's plan is for Leeland or why we've been chosen to guide him through this life that sometimes seems beyond all hope. But it is there. It is in the eternal promises of God, the UNSEEN. 

We pray these t shirts spread this message of hope. All proceeds will go towards Leeland's ongoing medical expenses. 

Shirts come in Adult Small-XXL $18

Or

Youth S-L $15

 

You can either pay via PayPal or email me at lynlee.hudlow@gmail.com with your order; quantity, size and address. Please make checks payable to me with "unseen" in the memo. I will then email you my address if you need it.

Sizes

Youth Small $15.00 USD Youth Medium $15.00 USD Youth Large $15.00 USD Adult Small $18.00 USD Adult Medium $18.00 USD Adult Large $18.00 USD Adult XL $18.00 USD Adult XXL $18.00 USD

Thank you!

Two

Does anyone still read this? I didn't think so, but my heart is about to burst, so writing is necessary. Leeland is two today. All of the emotions that I keep in check on a daily basis have erupted in an ugly way. I have made a conscious decision to wake up everyday and focus on the eternal, the good, the promise of a life that while hard, is not walked through alone. After Leeland was born, 2 Corinthians 4:18 became my go to, repeat to myself ALL DAY verse. "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." It comforts me and helps me during the hard times. There are a lot of hard times!  It is sort of what keeps me from updating this blog. I sometimes feel the urge to get on here and vent about my weekly nightmare trips to the grocery store with Leeland or talk about why some of the petty things I hear people complain about make me want to scream. The daily (multiple) seizures, meds, contacts/glasses, physical limitations, mental limitations, braces, doctor visits, therapy, etc.  It is all overwhelming. I really do feel like God's sculpting me. Changing me for the good.  And I don't feel like clay, I'm more like play doh. And I'm getting squished and stretched and squeezed through the spaghetti tool thing and it HURTS!  In the moments at Publix when I have 5 people in 30 minutes tell me "awe he's asleep" and all I want to do is explain that he's legally blind, and he just had a seizure, and he had major brain surgery and the lights bother him, and you're the 5th person that's told me that; I think about making a sign for him to wear around his neck that explains his limitations. The labels that "define" him according to society. Then I think, good grief, that is the stupidest thing ever. In the middle of my inner turmoil, I hear God whisper "give grace."  So I try.  I struggle with putting this sculpting process out there for everyone to see on my blog, not because I'm afraid of being transparent, but because I honestly don't feel like I can convey it all on paper. There is an ongoing book being written in my head about my life, weird I know, but it's just something i do.  God has used these past two years to make so many parts of my life book make sense. I would love to put it all out there, the way this AMAZING story is unfolding. He is constantly revealing it to me in jaw dropping knock your socks off kinds of ways. "That was a God thing" is a recurring theme.  Leelands's chapter was supposed to be a part of my story all along. It is complicated though and difficult to put into words.  So today, on Leeland's second birthday, what I do want to say is it has been a hard day, a sad day. And a day where I focused more on the "seen" than I should have.

  

Going Home

I really can't believe I just wrote that. Yesterday was a week in this little room that has become our home away from home. We are ready to get out of here but there is something so reassuring about having so many people around all the time. The past 3 days have been rocky. Leeland had several cyanotic episodes that we just can't seem to get to the root of. They could be a result of reflux/aggravated airway/dis functional vocal cords/vaso vagal response. The Epileptologist does not believe it is seizures. We are in one of the video monitored rooms so she was able to go back and watch all his episodes. He has also been throwing up and having the big D for a few days, just can't keep anything down. They had to start another IV to prevent dehydration and test for C Diff. I won't go into the details but to say that Leeland is hard to stick/get an IV in is an understatement. Poor think looks like a pin cushion. He officially has a reputation with the nurses and it's not a good one.   In terms of his actual surgery, he is doing great. His head is still super swollen but that is to be expected. When we take him home we are going to be able to wash his hair and do with him as much as he allows us to do. We are definitely going to avoid the jumper for a while. We don't want anything jiggling around that's not supposed to jiggle around. We are just going to have to keep a close eye on him and monitor for any unusual activity. We will follow up with surgeon next week.   Thank you all so much for the continued support and prayers!

Recovery

This is such a roller coaster.  All of my days have run together so I really can't keep track of what happened when. Leeland had an allergic reaction to the morphine and antibiotic. They made him itch like crazy and before we figured out what was wrong he basically scratched his face off. The new antibiotic he's on caused some digestive issues if your know what I mean, so we've been dealing with tiny explosions. He is allergic to it too, so he's getting Benadryl every six hours that pretty much knocks him out.   Yesterday was a good day and he was awake for about an hour, wanting to interact and play with toys.  We are clinging to those moments. We've had a couple of scary moments with some abnormal jerking, oxygen drops and he started throwing up this morning, but then opened his eyes and started playing a minute ago. We really don't know what we're going to get from one moment to the next.  The  highs and lows of this whole journey are impossible to explain. We were feeling really discouraged this morning when Leeland began throwing up and had an oxygen drop/ choking episode.  His surgeon came by and removed the head dressings. He thought everything looked good but said that he did have quite a bit of fluid under the skin. He recommended a CT scan to make sure there wasn't any sort of blockage in the drain. Once he got results back, he personally came in to tell us that everything looked great and they would be removing the drain later today. Every time we talk to him, Kyle and I both feel so reassured. He is just so confident that the surgery was a success and he thinks all of these little setbacks are just stumbling blocks but in no way define Leeland's eventual outcome.  We are taking his word for it! Just as I was typing this, one of the dr.s came by to remove the drain. Kyle decided that was a good time for him to step out and get some coffee.  If you are grossed out, probably the best time to quit reading too. He pulled the drain out and I'll just say that thing is A LOT thicker than an epidural and it was about 2 inches onto his skull. There was already a stitch put in during the surgery that they could immediately close when the drain was removed but he was leaking too much fluid so they had to put in another stitch.  Between trhe throw up , yucky diapers and spinal fluid the poor little guy can't have much left in him. Not surprisingly though, he hardly cried. He really is the toughest  baby around. One of these days we're going to show him these pictures of  "that time you had brain surgery" and totally rocked it.