Girl Seeking Spider Killer

I consider myself to be a pretty independent girl. I have never really needed anyone to do things for me because I am more than capable of taking care of myself. However tonight I realized there are some things I just can't do. For example I do not have any of the skills required to cope with spiders, especially when it comes to disposing of them. I try to be brave, I try to stay calm, I even try to make a plan of attack, none of it works.

Earlier this evening I hopped into the shower and almost as soon as I did I knew that something was not right. There he was crawling in between my shampoo and shower gel, an eight legged terror. At first I hoped that I was only imagining what I had seen, perhaps it was a shadow? I braced myself and took a few steps closer, as I gazed down my worst fears were confirmed, not only was there a spider but he was on the move. A million thoughts raced through my mind "I can handle this... maybe I can kill it... I'll just have to be fast... but what if he runs at me... or falls on me... nope I can't deal with this I need back up!"

So I jumped out of the shower, grabbed a towel, and did the only thing I could think of. I opened the door and yelled "Dad hurry I need your help!!!" That's right I am five years old. Then I heard both of my parents running down the hall my mom yelling back "Oh no what's wrong?" That's when I realized that I had needlessly scared the hell out of them. I hurried through my explanation pointing at the spider as it inched along the edge of the bathtub. Of course my dad took care of the problem in seconds. He also almost slipped and fell due to the fact that I had splashed water all over the floor in my haste to exit the tub. After being assured that the spider was in fact taken care of my parents exited the bathroom laughing at my slight overreaction to the "small" creature.

After they left I realized that this was not the first incident of its kind. I had a similar incident once in Provo and jumped out of the shower making my room mate take care of the spider. Then I thought about the last time I actually killed a decent sized spider on my own. If I am at work when one appears I have someone else deal with it. If I am alone and find a spider I sometimes call a friend or sibling for advice. If I am alone it also ends one of two ways either I wait for someone else to come and rescue me or I try to take care of it myself. If I choose the second option I usually come up with crazy plans that have the potential to do me more harm than the spiders.

So there you have it I may not need someone to take me out to dinner and a movie (although that would be nice.) But I do need to have someone around to kill spiders for me. This is a 24/7 job since I never know when one may appear, I am actually quite sure that they wait til I am alone to strike. I am currently looking for qualified applicants, they must be able to deal with even the most disturbing arachnids, handle loud high pitched screaming and yelling, most importantly they need to guarantee that there is no chance of them letting a spider escape and attack later. If you know anyone who fits the bill let me know and we can set up an interview.

I Almost Died

First off I would like to dedicate this blog to my friend Sarah Nolan, without her I would not have this story to tell. Also without her encouragement to share my story with others I never would have done so.

It was an evening like many others, we had plenty of time and not a lot to do with it. Soon we were again sucked into the nothingness, which consists of some quality computer time and a little gossiping while we kind of watch something on the TV, at Savannah's house. After a little discussion we decided that it would be best for us to venture out to retrieve a movie and some ice cream. Albertsons grocery store is not located far from Savannah's and since there was also a redbox located there it seemed to be a wise destination where we could pick up everything we needed. We jumped into the car and were happily on our way.

It was raining as we pulled into the parking lot so we pulled up to the redbox machine and debated what our next move would be. We decided that one of us could hop out and go rent the movie while another could go inside to get ice cream. It seemed that everything was settled until it became clear that no one knew what kind of ice cream they wanted. What happened next is all kind of a blur.

I already had the back driver side door open when I said "I think we're all just going to have to get out and go inside." None of us were very happy about a walk through the parking lot in the rain however we all agreed. Since my door was already open I figured that I would save myself a little sogginess and jump out there. What I did not know was that Sarah had not noticed the open door behind her and had already begun to drive away as I was getting out. While Sarah and I were both oblivious to each others differing paths Savannah began to see a horrible scenario unfold. I had one foot out the door when Sarah pressed on the gas, what stopped both of us was Savannah's bloodcurdling scream.

If it were not for Savannah's screaming I may not be here today and I shudder to think of what would have happend if she had not been as observant as she was that evening. Savannah, I owe you one and if Sarah is ever about to run you over with her car I will surely return the favor.

Happy New Year

It's the new year! Really only a day ago it was 2008 and although only one day has passed it seems like a new beginning in so many ways. I know most new year's resolutions fade only a few weeks, maybe months if you're lucky, after the year begins. So I will not make any... well at least I won't call them resolutions. Maybe just a list of things I hope to accomplish in the year ahead. So without further ado here is my wish list for 2009.

1- I'm gonna finally put that Golds Gym membership to good use, that's right you heard me I will work out in 2009... at least once.
2- I am going to finally bite the bullet and buy a place. Regardless of what goes on in the economy I'm doing it.
3- I am going to do something that scares me, as often as I am given the opportunity to. Well maybe not every time I have the opportunity but I will definitely break out of my comfort zone a little bit.
4- I will become more organized... I don't know how, but it would be really something if I could make that happen. I will find a way to make it happen.
5- I am going to clean out and wash that poor dirty car of mine.
6- I am going to do more for people other than myself. I pledge to be a less selfish Can in 2009.
7- I will make better decisions when it comes to eating choices. Basically I'm going to try to cut down on the junk food, not cut it out... Oh and as for caffeine that is probably here to stay in some form 'til at least 2010.
8- I will stop using work as an excuse to not have a life. I know some of you probably passed out after you read that, or you are shaking your head saying "yeah right." I'm serious!
9- I am going to stop spending my time and energy on activities and people that just end up making me upset, hurt or sad. So along with french fries I shall also cut down on the self destructive behavior.
10- I will be a happy person this year! I will appreciate what I have and try to forget about what I don't. I am lucky in many ways and I am going to remember it.

Well friends there you have it, my list of hopes for myself for the new year. I know that with a new start we mostly talk about making changes. I say keep what makes you better and get rid of what makes things worse. I am working on ridding my life of things that have made it a little bit harder than necessary. However there are many things about the coming year that I hope do not change from the last. So to all those people who have made my life better thank you! Hopefully you know who you are because I was planning on keeping you around. Happy New Year everyone!

Plan Who Needs That?

For those of you who know me this time of year is a crazy mix of extreme stress, exhaustion, mild loneliness, gratitude, and joy all wrapped into one. Yeah the holiday season and I have a serious love/ hate relationship. This year I thought I would add a healthy dose of self reflection. I hear a lot of people talk about having a "plan" for where they want their life to be in a few years or where they wanted it to be now. I have never really done that... well I take that back. When I graduated high school I guess I kind of made a "plan" I was going to get a college degree, I would be married by the time I was 22, and once I moved out I was never going to live with my parents again. At the time it seemed like a pretty basic plan, I thought all of that was a given, I mean that's what everyone else did right?

So seeing how none of that has happened would I change anything? probably not. As a rule I try to live my life free of regrets. Actually the only regrets I have are missing opportunities because I was too scared to take them. I have learned to say what you think and not be afraid to ask for what you want even if you don't always get it. I can't honestly say I am completely happy right now. There are things I wish I had that I don't, however knowing this I also know that what I wanted back when I made my "plan" at the wise age of 18 is not what I want now. Right now I am satisfied with my choices if I have the courage to take big risks, if I win then I win big. If I lose, which is more often than not, I lose knowing that I went after what I wanted. I don't have to ask the "what if" question anymore.

Recently I did just that, I conquered my fears and asked for what I really wanted. I didn't get it, and surprisingly I am OK. To take things one step further I didn't settle for something kind of similar to what I needed, which is what I had been doing for a very long time. I took control of one part of my life and in doing this I feel like I reclaimed a part of myself. Kind of funny that the outcome I had been so scared of facing is actually ending up better than no outcome at all.

We all have set backs the important thing is that we don't let them keep us from moving on. Our plans for the future will probably get ruined time and time again, but I think its actually better that way. I can in all honesty say that I appreciate the twists and turns that have taken me to this very spot in my life. I have had many positive experiences, and my own share of disappointment. All of which have led me to this I am single, a college drop out, I live in my parents basement and I wouldn't change any of it.

The Election is over... deal with it

So the election is over, yup that's right, no matter how much you complain about it in a few short weeks we will have a new President of the United States and there is no changing who that is. Wouldn't it be just crazy if we as citizens of this country could come together and support the person who has been chosen to lead us? So the guy you voted for didn't win GET OVER IT! In case anyone is confused Barrack Obama was ELECTED as our president, that means that more people voted for him than for John McCain (for those of you who will point out that the popular vote doesn't always mean you win, you're right its all about those electoral votes. Lucky for Obama he had both going for him.) We all posses the right to vote, and to help decide the future of our country. I fear that what we are missing is respect for that same right. The outcome may not be what you wanted to happen, however you live here and we should all feel some kind of responsibility to support our leaders. I am not saying that you should not be able to disagree with decisions made by those leaders. I have disagreed with many of the decisions our current president has made, I have also agreed with some. Regardless of my personal feelings at least I can respect that we the people of this country put him into that office. Our government officials are put into office by its citizens, not everyone in the world can say the same.

I think now would be a good time to point out that if you did not vote in this election you should keep you thoughts to yourself. If you didn't vote and you are unhappy with the decision that was made you are the only one you can blame. You have no right to be upset about the outcome if you did nothing to influence it. There are of course those who did not vote because they did not like either candidate. For those who fit into this category you left it in the hands of others to make the choice you did not want to make yourself. I have to say that I respect the decision not to make a decision more than I respect those who claim to have chosen but have nothing to show for it. Either way you are not utilizing a right that others fought, and still in some places fight, to have. I encourage you to not let it go to waste in elections to come.

I personally voted for Obama, however I had plenty of my own apprehension about doing so. I saw things I agreed with and disagreed with in both campaigns and in the end I made the decision that I personally felt was the best. I will not attack those who voted differently than I did, I respect peoples differing opinions. The problem that I have found is I am often attacked for my own. I do not try to force my way of thinking on those around me. Oh if only others would do me the same courtesy. Many of my friends are very conservative, and I respect that, I on the other hand lean more toward the liberal way of thinking. In groups I feel that if I stand up for what I believe, or if I give any ideas contrary to those of the people I am with I will be belittled, teased, and dismissed. Why should I feel this way? Aren't these my friends? Shouldn't they appreciate my differing views on life? Apparently not. There have been more than a few occasions where I have sat by and heard them tear down ideals that I hold dear. When it has finally gone too far and I speak up to defend my views I am instantly attacked or made fun of.

Really we should all be appreciative of the many differing viewpoints we all posses. Where would the world be with out a little conflict? Conflict brings about change, and where would we be without change? Really that is why this election had the outcome that it did. Many people cast their vote for that reason alone. I know that change can be good and that it can also be bad. I admit that I am not entirely sure what kind of change this will be. However, I sincerely hope that my decision, along with so many others, will help bring about a good change for our country and the people who live in it. For those of you who are still grieving over the outcome of the election, you really need to get over it. Now is the time to be the bigger person and support that outcome rather than predict failure, and the downfall of our country. If you are not willing to do that maybe you really should pack your bags and find a country that you do not feel is doomed to peril. Good luck with that endeavor, I wish you all the best.