The Lee Experience

OMGoodness! So much has happened.

2012-04-07T16:20:00.000-05:00

February was a very busy month for us.
We took a well needed and deserved family vacation down to Orlando in the beginning of February. We went to Sea World, Disney World, Medieval Times and to Gator Land. We had a fabulous, fun packed week and happily came home to a Squadron Mardi Gras party and then we moved on base.

TMO came on the 29th of February to pack us all up and on the first of March we moved from Crestview, FL to Eglin AFB in Fort Walton Beach, FL to help down size our over sized bills (thank you influx of 7th Group Special Forces for giving the economy in Crestview a ridiculously huge boost and all that that entails.) and to get closer to the beaches as we suspected this would potentially be our last year in Florida. Booooo!

If you didn't know it, you do now, we LOVE Florida and would happily stay here but as we suspected we were very right, not exactly how we thought but none the less right. It was announced to the public on March 07, 2012 that the 728th would be decommissioning by October 2013.

Good by Demons, good bye Florida for the majority of the Demon personnel and hello somewhere not nearly as awesomely cool for that same majority. (I will update you all on this in more depth when we know.)

Most of March was a pretty quiet month after we got the house all in order.

Zack is still in the process of trying to cross train (another when I know, you will know) and we are hopeful he will be approved. He's never been happy in his current job but as any good provider does, he works with what he's got.

I can't believe how quickly April has come upon us. Easter is tomorrow. The girls are super excited and are driving me crazy about dying their eggs. I've told them not until after dinner this evening after Daddy gets home.

Zack is busy today at Outdoor Rec getting his boaters permit so that we have the ability to rent boats and play out on the water this summer. We are going to try to smash in as much local Florida fun as possible this summer as it may be our last one here.

Time sure does fly. Wow! Tate will be three on the 16th and Zack will be turning 27 the next day. I am so unprepared for their birthdays. It feels like they crept up on me.

On another note, yesterday I finally got in to see the doctor about my crap, crunchy, painful knee. I apparently have Patellofemoral Pain Syndrome. It is fairly common with active individuals, though unknown what causes it, and it is treatable without surgery. (I guess all of my running was good and bad for me.)

Yay! No surgery but sucks that I will have to do some painful Physical Therapy to retrain the muscles around my Patella in order to get it back on track, yes, my patella is riding and grinding out of its groove on bone causing inflammation and pain and it was the doctor who said that the PT was going to hurt. he prescribed me some anti-inflammatory painkillers that I can take on those PT days, I was also instructed to ice my knee in the evenings and to follow a certain stretching routine along with learning to run in the barefoot method. Something I will have to do some research on.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter.

Wow!

2012-02-21T21:46:00.000-06:00

So a lot has happened since I last blogged....the most exciting thing to happen was Zack's return mid January. We didn't do much for the first two weeks with him home, just lazed about the house and got back into the family grove.

We took a well deserved family vacation to Orlando the first week in February. We hit up SeaWorld, which was AWESOME, more so than even SeaWorld in San Diego. That was day one.

Animal Kingdom was next and honestly a HUGE let down. I think we would have enjoyed a real zoo more. So much walking, so few animals in regards to park size and little much else to entertain the girls, so we went to Epcot before ending our night well with dinner theater at Medieval Times.

It was a neat show about knights, and yes, on REAL horses. It was really fun, the food yummy, and the overall experience one we would do again.

Epcot is definitely a neat Disney park, mostly because of the World Showcase, as many of the rides there like Animal Kingdom, the girls were too small for, and Remi isn't short for her age. Everything though is over priced at Disney.

Day three was Magic Kingdom, which from the kids perspective, ruled! With all of the characters to meet and greet, the rides that were small child friendly and all of the Disney eye candy to ogle we had a great time and killed most of our day at Magic Kingdom. We did head back to Epcot from there to wind down our evening and to pick up the girls their souvenir of choice and to watch some of the evening World Showcase shows....it was a nice wind down from the crazy hectic of Magic Kingdom.

Day four and our last in Orlando we went to Gatorland...
It was neat to see all of those big gators up close, and safely, while teaching the girls some stuff about Florida and it's native Flora and Fauna. We all really enjoyed spending a few hours viewing these amazing and scary creatures.

All in all this family holiday ROCKED! The resort we stayed at was uber nice and we all had a wonderful time, if you don't factor in all of the useless walking, the annoying placement of bathrooms, the ridiculous prices, the rude employee I dealt with or the annoying, stupid, and rude Canadian woman, surprised at a two year behaving like a two year old and picking a flower.

If we did Disney again, we would probably skip Animal Kingdom altogether, do more local attractions outside of Disney, and punch idiot tourists in the face when they deserve it for freaking out on a two year old.

Well, life goes on...

We are moving to base, as thanks to the Army SF (Security Forces) prices have gone out of control here in Crestview, along with incidents of crime, and the crowding is just too much. Since we are no longer saving any money by living out this far, we figure why not get closer to the beaches and what we would like to do more of...unfortunately besides living on base we really can't afford to live anywhere else.

On the plus side, our place is on the water, with a fenced yard and we don't have to worry about horrific electric or water bills in the summer.

Our place is a three bedroom, two bath, plus den with a miniscule kitchen. We won't have a two car garage anymore but a carport for one, but there is plenty of outside storage. It's give and take. Save money, lose space. Follow more rules, less privacy, run AC with the windows open :) LOL!

I keep trying think of all of the positives to living on base, like more kids for the girls to hang out with, less bills to worry about, less driving for us in a few short months, closer to the hospital, less space to care for, and more local fun and try not to think of it like being penned up like DoD cattle. I have a crazy fear of being on base, for irrational reasons, and am working through it. :) Funny, now I wonder if this wasn't a big part of why I got out on top of those paperwork issues because of my issues with restrictions....oh well, no big loss there.

I will have to drive Remi up to Crestview still until June 1st for her VPK as I can not transfer her again but that will give me a reason to visit friends up this way.

Oh, by the way, thank you Dumb Ass Obama for the cuts in our BAH (this doesn't affect us directly as we get to keep what we already get, but all those poor folks pcsing in have to live on less housing when our prices have actually gone up and it is already impossible to find a three bedroom place let alone one in a nice neighborhood at a lower rate).

Note to self....Shara, though you have a tendency to ONLY speed when on base, DON'T as you will live there now and astronomically increase the chance of being pulled over and suspended from driving on base, which will royally suck butt.

Twenty Days or Less and Counting

2011-12-31T18:08:00.000-06:00

Yay! Zack gets home in just a few weeks. This has been a seriously long deployment and so much has happened while he has been away. We and me especially will be very happy to get him home, happy, whole and healthy.

Good news indeed.

More good news, the Home Owner has finally gotten around to the repairs necessary for the house due to the Tornado. It took him long enough but finally things are getting back to normal and just in time for Zack to get home.

We've had quite an adventure while Daddy has been working in the Big Sandbox but we will be glad to close that book and start a new one. The kids will actually be around to give Daddy a huge welcome home which surprises me considering how many times I've wanted to annihilate them. We've survived and so has my sanity, barely, and we will again when it comes time.

More Cereal Box Album Complete

2011-12-17T09:26:00.003-06:00

Here it is...all complete...just add journalling and photos willy nilly through out as wanted and voila....Album.

This album has tons of pull out mats and spots to write as well as few mats on page.

We are into the Count Down time period now.....

2011-12-10T22:18:00.000-06:00

Okay....Zack will tentatively be home around January 18th...should be...right?

So I am now on count down.   How awesome is that? Too damn awesome. I so want a kid free vay-cay when he gets home and I think I deserve one.

This deployment has been HELL.

One crappy thing after another has occurred to disrupt the flow and break down my sanity: Tornado, check; evil destructive children, check; faulty/aging appliances, check; vehicle problems, check; issues with bills, check and check; health problems and scares, check; piss poor local support network, check; and various other things unmentioned. If it can go wrong, break, be broken, get sick or simply die it has.

I am beyond liking my kids and need a serious recharge of my maternal mommy gives a fuck battery.

I am not even up to my normal social self, which is saying a HELL OF A LOT, as I am not the most social person to begin with.

I would prefer a vacation somewhere with mimosas (any kind of booze lubricant really), warm sun, and NO CHILDREN and maybe even with no hubby as well.

I feel as though I have reached some sort of crisis point in my life and I am just hanging on by a thread for my relief to get here and take over. I am emotionally tapped out, prone to crying, screaming, and violence at the drop of a hat and knowing that all I really need is some serious R&R for Me, Myself, and I.

The stress has built to the point where my ring felt like it was suffocating me. So I took it off for several weeks. Silly really, as the ring obviously wasn't my issue but it was a HUGE issue when I realized what it did mean. I cried myself dry in the shower one night a week ago after putting the girls to sleep because I was so damn scared.

I was scared of what my ring removal meant, scared of how I was feeling and pissed. I was so damn pissed at myself. I am stronger than a deployment, stronger than the things that occur in my life. Sure, recently these events have all occurred like a vicious domino chain toppling while Zack is off doing what he does. Sure it has sucked.  It has sucked big time and none of it has been Zack's fault nor can he from clear across an ocean do any damn thing about it.

I will get through all of this. What choice is there really? There is no such thing as failure, although I am not sure what I am supposed to be learning from all of this.

Am I supposed to be learning how to be a single parent (I am a terrible single parent), a mechanic, a stain removal expert, an advocate for free booze for the spouses of the deployed, a hermit, a self proclaimed crazy person, a saint. What?

I have reached that precipice of no return. It is either go forward as planned or make a new plan but either way, I really need that child free vacation first.

Happy Anniversary and a gift from TStorm Lee

2011-09-04T10:45:00.000-05:00

I am a light sleeper and so this morning around 0530 I woke to an absolute deafening silence. The silence did not last long, maybe a few seconds, but that is all my brain needed to tell me what was going on. As the angry, violent noise began I was already pulling a sleeping Tate to the floor between my bed and my wall away from the large window in my bedroom. I was just hoping Remi was still asleep in her bed and that the raging storm and now Tornado had not woken her up. I wasn't sure I would have been up for her drama. The noise was unlike anything I have ever heard and it really did bring to mind crushing metal, roaring lions and utter terrifying chaos. I also registered the intensity of the sound and knew everything would be over very soon and that we were lucky.

The tornado touched down in my backyard at the back right fence line and snaked its way across my yard, bending up the swing set, ripping down limbs, and tearing down fencing. A large tree limb rests directly outside my bedroom window. Our patio screen door now swings in, our privacy fencing has lost all privacy and the tornado ran off with all of my peppers.

At some point directly after settling Tate on the floor to sleep I dragged a sleeping Remi in with us. Made sure our shoes were on, cell phone, purse, water and snacks in reach and let the storm rage on.

Our neighbor just across the road came over after the storm died down a bit. He was shocked to see our yard. He wanted to make sure we were alright since he knew he hadn't seen my husband coming and going lately. He said his front bedroom window got knocked out and garage door took a good beating but other than that they were in tack and that the neighbors behind them got the last of it before it petered out.

It wasn't a large tornado...in fact it must have been just a baby one but it still created enough damage and horrific noise that I admit that I would be quite happy never experiencing that ever again. The noise alone is terrifying and I can't imagine what the sound of a large one must be like.

Remi is grieving the loss of her swing set and is upset about how the yard is damaged. She said "Our yard is now junk. Everything is broken." and in fact she has said something like this several times this morning. Tate was pretty shook up and has been sleeping on and off since about seven this morning.

A tree service came out and did away with the tree that was in the road and any limbs that were hanging out on the side yard. I still have a TON of cleanup to do. I am so not looking forward to dragging all of the fencing and limbs into piles in the front yard for waste management to pick up. I'll probably have to give them a call.

I contacted and left a message for my Rental Company about the damage but as usual I have yet to hear back and it is 1020 already. I probably won't hear from them until Monday at the earliest.

We survived and that is all that is important. Everything could be gone, lost or destroyed and I would not care. We are all here, alive, healthy and intact, all the rest really doesn't matter much.

As for our 7th Anniversary....well...it would be so much nicer if Zack were home to help with the clean up but it is still great because we have come so far and it feels so new still. I am still crazy happy in love and I know he is too. We have two healthy, happy, smart if irritating girls and friends and family who love and supports us. What more do we need?

Panhandle Butterfly House

2011-09-02T11:17:00.000-05:00

Yesterday the girls and I took a long drive, about 55 minutes, over to Navarre, FL to the Panhandle Butterfly House. They were releasing butterflies into their Vivarium (basically a hot, humid, green house of flowers) and the first hundred kids got to help release the butterflies. We got there just after ten because the posted schedule said they start releasing them at ten thirty but apparently they had detoured from the schedule for a school field trip. The girls were lucky....they got there just in time to help with the last of the butterflies. It was hot, humid, and fun. We left as sweat balls not even twenty minutes later but we had a grand time.

My camera battery died not even ten minutes in so my pictures are few. Note to self, make sure to charge battery before we do outings.

Tate absolutely loved releasing the butterflies. They just kept giving them to her. Remi was such a good big sister, helping Tate hold her hands the right way.

The Vivarium is pretty small. The fountain is the center and there is a brick path all the way around it...and that is it. So it is pretty crowded with more than say fifteen people in there. At least it is free. They do ask for support donations though. I bought some coloring books for the girls, all about butterflies of course, that they destroyed on the trip home.

Things to ponder

2011-08-26T20:25:00.000-05:00

I was catching up on my blogs that I like to read today when I came across a post that echoed my own recent experiences with an individual.

The writer spoke about "Givers and Takers" and how she learned that being a Giver is being more self aware and that it is definitely something you learn either from a parent, a personality trait or through life and that real Takers are pretty clueless individuals that never seem to learn.

They spoke of a long time friend that only ever called to unload THEIR problems, wants, and needs on them and would hang up without ever inquiring about them in an entire two hour conversation and how with the last phone call they simply said at the end to the Taker "Oh, I've been horribly rude. I haven't let you get a word in edge wise. How are you? What have you been up to?" and proceeded to hang up without the Taker's response. I thought this was totally awesome.

I applaud those that help themselves, who take a stand. This post reminded me that it is okay to put people in their place when necessary and that if the circumstances indicate it, to remove them from your life entirely.

I have begun to do just that. I am removing the dead weights, "Takers", users, manipulators, and anyone who is NOT a positive for me and mine out of my life. Life is stressful and can be hard enough without all of that extra baggage.

I've always been comfortable being me and I know that "me" does not fit the standard norm of what people expect which is probably why my friends are Few But True (I just totally made that Few But True up and it ROCKS! At least I've never heard this little phrase.). My life on the other hand is quite normal and that is awesome, as I've always thought of a normal life as a good, stable, and happy one.
Honestly, I envied some of my friends this...their childhoods fit this and mine so DID NOT but I digress.

If you can make your life less stressful and more enjoyable by dumping some excess baggage, then do. It will definitely be worth it.

This day SUCKS!

2011-08-16T12:29:00.000-05:00

My day started out like most days. Got up early, fed the girls, put them in front of some toons. Since the girls were occupied I decided to finish the yard work up. I started just after eight.

Not fifteen minutes into mowing my lawn two officers in a patrol vehicle pull into my drive. I cut off the mower to go see what they needed. They had been called an informed that I was disrupting the peace, being obnoxiously loud and possibly hurting someone.

They were pretty pissed to find me mowing my yard and my kids still with their heads. I guess I didn't quite live up to the hype the ASSHOLE neighbor fed them. I was merely doing yard work not massacring small children and animals. Oh! Well, the morning went on and I finished mowing the ENTIRE yard as well as weed eating all of it...which took WAY TOO LONG.

I put away my tools, cleaned up and decided it was time for me to have my breakfast. In scavenging my meal I discovered that the freezer part of the fridge had stopped working and from the looks of it (the giant puddle forming around the fridge and every thing thawed out and warming) it had died sometime last night. WTF! How had I missed this when I got the girls breakfast?

So I clean out the freezer, tossing a bunch of new unopened just purchased items and mop up all the water the thawing process had created. I then call my Rental Company to inform them of this new problem and they let me know that a repairman will be contacting me.

It has been a while. About an hour now and no repairman has called nor are there any in sight. *Fuming* I am so damn mad because now I suspect that my entire refrigerator is giving up the ghost. It is just cool inside. I will have to make an ice run in order to try and save my food. DAMN DAMN DAMN!

Why does this kind of stuff always happen to me? Why does it only seem to happen when Zack is deployed, I am already stressed and on a tight budget?

I have called my Rental Company again and informed them that I need the repairman NOW. They are working on it. *Sigh* Okay. I guess we are off to make an ice run because you just can't sit back and wait for others to solve your problems. Oh, how nice that would be every now and then.

FUCK! Repairman just called. The soonest he can be here is between two and three pm. Will someone be home? Fuck yes, someone will be home....me, fuming, pissed, angry, ready to throttle your ass since ASAP and EMERGENCY mean nothing. Let us just hope everything will keep in the mean time with ice as I have no real funds to replace the majority of it until payday.

Just an update.

2011-08-09T13:35:00.000-05:00

What have we been up to? Other than the basic day to day stuff, we really haven't been up to all that much.

Last Sunday we went to the beach on Eglin with some friends and played. All the rest of last week was spent being lazy at home, playing in the back yard, destroying the veggies as they come in in the garden (Tate), playing the Wii (Remi loves the Just Dance Kids that another friend loaned me. I will have to purchase a copy for Remi so that I can return the borrowed one), Keeping house which never seems to end, walking on my treadmill at night because I can't sleep and oh, crafting.

We love arts and crafts. Tate is getting pretty darn good with the scissors and glue and now seems more inclined to keep her artwork off of the walls (Yay for that!), Remi is always asking to make art pages or play with her Cuttlekids, which is a die cut machine for kids that we picked up super cheap at Big Lots. Looked on line and was shocked at how pricey the dies run...guess we will hope Big Lots gets some more in. Although she does have about twenty different ones that we did find cheap. She loves it because she can create as it pleases her and not rely as much on when I want to use my cutter. I have been scrapbooking and crocheting like a madman. At some point I will have to get albums to actually put my finished pages in.

I would love to get outdoors with the girls more, do some hiking (That is something this area really lacks. Any real hiking trails.) There is an abundance of water related things to do here, tons of parks, camping but not rustic camping (closer to RV style as everywhere around here is regulated.) and there are several interesting museums that we are slowly going to work our way through. We will save the mini road trips to other interesting areas and things to do around us for when daddy is home so he can do those things with us too.

We are a part of a play group that we occasionally attend. I admit it. I am an introvert and prefer my people interaction in smaller groups with less drama and more intellectual interaction for shorter periods of time. I prefer to watch more and talk less if the talking is drivel. I prefer reality, honesty, and truthful interactions and people over fake any day. I don't do well with bitchy, snotty, or pushy people and so we limit our time in this group. As sadly, women, seem to be a lot of what I don't like. Not all, but most. I do a lot more than I would if I did not have the girls. They make me push my limits daily and put up with stuff I wouldn't normally for the sake of them. So for friends here, not many, and very temporary. But at least it is something more than that CRAP HOLE called Tucson.

We love it here and are not finding it horrible with Zack deployed since we seem to have so much to do. We miss him though and the girls ask about him daily. We do get to talk and see him pretty often through MSN Messenger. Skype, you have failed us this time. Communication is not always the clearest but it is better than nothing. We have four and a half months to go and Zack will be back with us. Hoorah! Time seems to keep on going and so do we.

Cotton Bridge Park

2011-07-30T21:01:00.000-05:00

This was a play date meet up for the girls. We really enjoy this group and spending time with them. This particular meetup was at Cotton Bridge Park in Baker. Pretty neat little park and beach right on the river.

Tate, Remi, Eli's Daddy, Eli.

Eli's Daddy (Lucas Albrecht) was busy catching stuff that the kids found fascinating.

Eli's Mom + one in the making (Jen Albrecht).

So beautiful.

Clear water. (Black Water River)

Going to investigate the fish and tadpole (I caught the tadpole).

Alyssa, Colleen (The mom using her lung powers), Belle (crouching), Rebecca (in the tube).

Playing "Fish Man". According to Remi, Eli was fish man.

Soft shell or slider turtle courtesy of Eli's Daddy.

Showing the kids the turtle.

The Pentagon, run by the Turtle.

They hide under a layer of mud or leaves at the bottom and stick their long necks out to lure and catch small fish or whatever.

Remi getting ready to jump off the sunken log.

This was a great, hot, humid Saturday, spent playing with some friends and enjoying the outdoor beauty that the Florida Panhandle has to offer.

Fun Day

2011-07-20T20:31:00.000-05:00

Lunch at Chick-Fil-A. Not my favorite.

We met up at the fast food joint with Tyla, Ely and Amy Smith for some lunch and then proceeded on to the Emerald Coast Science Museum in Ft. Walton Beach for some relatively cheap if desperately in need of upgrading science related entertainment. The girls loved it.

Give thee buttons and amused ye shall be.

She was buzzing the entire time. Try explaining that the point was to do it without it buzzing and Remi disagreed.

Remember this carnival/amusement park game?

Remi using the fan to make a plane fly. Pretty neat.

Ely.

Amy trying out the human battery thingy.

Tate was pretty fascinated with the bugs.

Hissing roaches. Really gross.

Some old guy lifted Remi so she could view the tarantula.

Cool Horseshoe Crab shell on display.

Amy showing Tate how to use this scope.

Amy is actually really good with the girls if almost impossible to start a conversation with.

Tyla testing out the armadillo glasses.

Ely was actually pretty good at using this scope.

Remi looking at some birds in a cage. Live ones. They were part of the biodiversity room or some such room.

Tyla with the Dragonfly glasses on.

My turn to test them out. Pretty cool.

Checking their human battery potential.

I liked the mirrors. Remi did too.

The Bubble room.

Bounce. How high can you get it?

Amy showing the girls how high she could get the ball to go.

She is so cute.

The girls watching bones the cyclist ride his bike.

The on/off switch for Bones.

Ely has apparently lost interest and moved on.

Random cupboards all over held all sorts of science-y stuff.

Remi and Tate running around opening all of the cupboards.

Amy showing Remi how long her intestines are with this hose on a reel prop.

Part of the health section.

Tyla trying to get a picture of herself while using the skeleton mirror.

It is supposed to show you what your skeleton looks like. Pretty neat but was near impossible to photograph.

After we completed the Science Museum, we went right down the road to the Ft. Walton Beach Landing Park to play for a bit.

She never goes any higher than this. Ever.

Tate making friends.

Remi complaining about something.

Tate and her single serving friend.

Still complaining. Hadn't noticed the time or I would have realized that Remi's issue stemmed from being hungry again.

Ely.

Testing her mom's patience. "Ely, be careful." Says Tyla.

Once again. She starts, stops and whines about how scary or hard it is. Booo! Grow some balls like Tate, Remi.

Amy and the girls walking down to check out the water.

Today, the girls and I had a busy, fun day. We ate out, explored a science museum, play at the park, checked out the water, did some shopping and generally had a good time and wore ourselves out. Tomorrow is supposed to be a new adventure. A Water play date at a park we haven't been to yet. Let's hope it is as fun as today was.

The end of a good day.

2011-07-12T12:50:00.000-05:00

So Tate is potty training and up until Zack deployed was actually doing awesome. Even had her sleeping through naps and bedtime without wetting the bed. That has all changed since daddy left. She barely makes it to the potty on time and is back in pull ups for naps and bedtime. So sad, since we had made some seriously great progress.

Well today started pretty good. She hadn't had an accident all day and I was even hopeful about nap time. She is currently winding down for her nap in a pull up.

Tate decided to not only go to the potty by herself but to use her feet to smear it all over the bathroom floor. I guess I should be glad that this was all done in the bathroom and that she only used her feet.

How I found Tate after she yelled for me to help her.

As if I don't have better things to do than to clean up more shit but in this case literal shit.

Must have items.

Tate in the shower scrubbing her feet with soap.

Don't know what to think about any of this except that it is so true what they say about each child having their own "Poop" incident. I told Tate that what she did was very disgusting and very naughty and to never do it again as the consequence would be death. She apologized and did an amazing job scrubbing herself down with the soap in the shower. She used up half a bar before I convinced her she was now sanitary and clean enough to get out.

Zack is always gone when the shit hits the fan. Figures.

Turkey Creek

2011-07-10T19:02:00.000-05:00

You can see the girls up ahead with Amy in the blue (Steve's little sister).

Tate and Ely.

The walk.

The spot we chose to enter the creek at.

There are several spots along the boardwalk with stairways leading down to a lower dock and the creek. We chose one with shallow water to take the kids down to play.

The water is very clear and cold and maybe a current of 2-3 miles.

Tate tubing it.

Tyla, Ely and Steve Smith and the girls playing in the creek.

Remi being twirled by Steve Smith.

Tate being twirled by Steve Smith.

Steve being amazed by how strong Tate is.

Investigating a hole in the boardwalk.

Turtle on a lily pad.

Today the girls and I met up with the Smiths for a fun outdoor adventure. This was our first time going to Turkey Creek but it will definitely not be our last. The weather was super hot and humid as usual here in the Florida Panhandle and we meant to make the most of it, and I think we did. The water may have been cold but it felt so darn good with how hot is was. We were all sweaty and more than happy to play in the water by the time we had walked down to the shallow part of the creek.

Daddy Deployed

2011-07-09T11:13:00.000-05:00

So yesterday morning was a bit hectic and traumatizing. We dropped Zack off at base. He deployed to Qatar. The girls were emotional roller coasters from then on. Remi cried most of the way home and Tate was freaked out because Remi was so visibly upset.

Tate kept bouncing between asking to go get daddy and telling Remi she was okay. I just tried to zone it all out and concentrate on a SafeLite appointment we had to get back home for. The chip in my window got fixed but the chip in my heart just got bigger as the day went on. Watching the girls deal with the reality of daddy being away for the next six months was harder than I thought.

Remi is old enough now that she understands what is means for daddy to deploy and has enough understanding of time that six months is "forever" in her eyes. Poor Tate just knows daddy is gone, Remi is upset and mommy is irritable. She doesn't fully get it yet but knows it isn't good because of how we are behaving.

We spent the day completely vegging out, watching TV, and playing in the craft room. The day went so quickly. The emotions washing over us all in waves.

Bed time rolled around and all I did was tell the girls it was time to go to bed. Their emotional day of ups and downs had so thoroughly worn them out they didn't argue or fight it at all as they usually would, in fact they both got up from their spots in the craft room, asked for hugs and kisses and for me to tuck them in and promptly went to bed. I about cried.

I always thought it would get easier the more times we send Zack on deployment, short tours, and TDYs but frankly it has gotten so much harder. As the girls understand more and more of what daddy does and what it means when he is away it becomes tougher to do so.

It definitely is a challenge to stay up beat when the girls are so unhappy. It is just for six months, the girls and I can manage that even if we don't want to have to. Six months of birthdays, holidays and milestones that I will do my best to document and share for daddy's sake. We don't want him to miss anything while he is gone.

Crab Island, Boating, and Friends.

2011-05-16T16:55:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, the girls and I, decided to play hooky from Church and take Daddy boating. Our friends who have a little girl in between Remi's and Tate's age invited us to join them as they were renting a boat for the day. IT WAS AWESOME.

Sorry, no pictures. Well, there are but I did not take them. I was tagged in a few so I am sure you can see them if you want to (ugh, I hate looking like a polk-a-dot whale. This exercise better start paying off.).

Crab island really isn't an island so much as a giant sandbar. Some places the water is only knee deep. It was at my chest and Zack's waist where we were. Tons of people go out to Crab Island in their boats to enjoy the shallow water. There are all sorts of modified boats that look like shacks that sell food that motor out there and park for the day as well as pizza delivery by Wave Runner. Pretty neat. You really can just spend the entire day out there as long as you don't have to go number two (though you may be lucky and have a toilet on board your boat, we didn't).

So we spent the day playing in the water at Crab Island and near the beach by the rental marinas. The kids loved it. the hunted for sand fleas, hermit crabs, fish, and shells. They had so much fun in and out of the water and were busy busy the entire time. They were even dancing to the radio for us to watch. Too cute. They wore themselves out and the moment they were in the car and it went into motion they were out.

The only negative for the entire day was when Zack, trying to climb into the boat as we were launching from the beach, pulled the door into my left foot hard enough to scrape off some skin and leave a nasty deep bruise. This bruise feels a lot more evil than it looks. It hurt to put my running shoe on and then running was not an option so I hiked up hill until my foot began to ache. Stupid door. Stupid bruise.

We had an awesome day out on the water and I have now decided that we need a boat. Who needs a beach when a boat is so much more awesome. I guess we should take things one step at a time. Use deployment funds to finish paying off debt, save money for down payment for house and then look into a boat. Oh! But I want a boat so badly now. Maybe we should look at a condo on the beach with a boat slip....just a thought.

Potatoes

2011-05-11T15:22:00.000-05:00

Today I let the girls pull up the potatoes. I didn't want to be doing it so soon but the potato plants were showing signs of death. So up the potatoes came.

If you didn't know it, I planted originally four pieces of a potato that had sprouted in my kitchen. They took off like crazy when I put the little plants outside in a pot. I had to transplant them a few weeks later into our kiddie pool garden. One plant died off pretty quickly due to the squirrels digging it up. That left three plants. Luckily potatoes really don't take more than a few months to develop some decent potatoes. I would have left these in ground to get a bit bigger for at least another month if I could have gotten away with it.

The kiddie pool gardens came about as a way to get around amending the horribly sandy soil. It was cheaper and less risky to simply fill two kiddie pools with potting soil and top soil than it would have been to amend the in ground garden bed which is now a wild flower bed. Wild flowers sure are pretty and TINY.

As you can see, poor plants are starting to die. Maybe if the squirrels would stop digging at their roots.

Peeking through the dirt are some potatoes. Damn squirrels.

Remi is in charge of pulling the spuds from the plants.

Perpetually naked Tate with a spud.

About two dinners worth of spuds. Not bad for free and to think one potato created these.

Will definitely be planting potatoes again. Super easy plant to grow if the squirrels would just stop digging in the garden.

Crunchy Knee

2011-05-10T16:22:00.000-05:00

So I have come to the conclusion that my knee, though feeling fine, is still going to be crunchy sounding when I walk up steps or steep hills. It causes me no pain anymore, just sounds really odd, so on with the exercise.

I actually ran this morning on my treadmill. It felt so good to get back to it. I did a mile and a half in about fifteen minutes, of course that included some light jogging to catch my breath. I figure I can slowly work my time back down and once I get my run where I want it to be than I will think about adding other exercise back into my routine.

It can be difficult finding uninterrupted time to work out. So it will either have to be a quick run in the morning and wait until the girls go down at night if I want to do anything else. Tate seems to think that napping is optional now so that time is now sadly gone as an exercise opportunity.

I just keep thinking, no wonder there are so many out of shape, overweight moms, as everyday seems to revolve around chores, kids, and errands, where do you find the time to cram in exercise and basic me time? Early morning, or late at night, both are really not ideal since you are either still tired, waking up or now tired. Well, I will manage it I am sure, even if I have to lock them out of the office for fifteen for a quick run.

Wish me luck, lets hope nothing else decides it is time to break down on my body, between my back, knees, random abdominal cramping and shins I deserve a reprieve for a while from issues. I need this exercise. I refuse to hold onto almost fifty extra pounds. I am too short to be so round and I want my pre-kids body back. It may take me the next few years if necessary to do it but I will. So crunchy knee, here is to you, get over yourself, I have.

While Daddy was in Vegas.....we played.

2011-05-05T19:38:00.000-05:00

Here is a picture collage of the time spent playing and having fun while Daddy worked and wasted money in Vegas. We've had a great time out and about trying to meet and make new friends. We've also loved discovering new play spots in and around our stomping grounds. Sadly none of my library pictures came out. Not sure why. Fancy camera of mine sometimes is too fancy and I fail to operate is correctly on occasion.

I think the next major thing I want to do with the girls around town is make a picture album documenting our little slice of Florida, where we like to go and all the great stuff around us.

The Hunt

2011-04-25T10:19:00.000-05:00

Don't feel much like blogging so here you go. A collage of pictures from the girls egg hunt and finally having Daddy put them back into the carton to put away. It was a wonderfully fun and busy day.

Sacrament and the Ultimate Sacrifice.

2011-04-24T11:55:00.000-05:00

Easter Sunday and Sacrament, sure makes for a really long, drawn out Sacrament. Poor, poor Remi. We barely made it through Sacrament today. The ward is small, homely individuals, with super friendly elderly and a few children around Remi's age and a few more than that around Tate's age.

I only spoke to a few of the Church officials (ha ha ha! can't even tell you what their positions are, let alone names), and some of the elder women. Brother whatever his name was David/Davis? was quick to get my information (to pull records?). I did explain, though he thought I was joking, that this was for Remi if she wanted it and I myself though baptized am not a willing active member and that Zack is in NO WAY interested and doesn't even want them dropping in at the house. I may have to repeat this to them so they are good and clear on this.

It was hard, I will not lie, for me to sit through Sacrament. Religion is just not for me, but who really knows, it may be something Remi understands, relates to and enjoys and I can give her a few hours on Sunday for her to figure this out. I think it may be a good social opportunity for her and maybe teach her some patience. I am leaving it entirely up to her though. If she finds that she doesn't like it or doesn't want to go then we won't.

She didn't mind today but said it was boring sitting still, being quiet and listening to the boring people up front. I concur, very boring, uninteresting and difficult to keep still for so long. I asked after Sacrament if she wanted to go to Primary and meet the other children and she said yes but NOT today, and maybe next Sunday.

So if we do go next Sunday because Remi wants to, we will definitely NOT be going to Sacrament and I will bring some knitting or crochet to get me through RS if I don't choose to sit it out in the vestibule with my Kindle while the girls try out church. The things you are willing to do to expand and enrich your kid's horizons, social network, and broaden their scope of what is available and out there for them. *sigh*

On a positive note, I did get to wear my heels. I rarely have a chance or a place to do that.

Church...Wowzah!

2011-04-23T21:46:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow Remi and I are going to expand her horizons. Yep! I am going to take Remi to church. An LDS church. There is apparently one here in Crestview, FL and I have decided that it may be a good social and learning experience for Remi.

Remi is such a social person and super sweet to every one she meets. We haven't had much luck, not surprisingly, with the play date groups around here since the majority of them are made up of various military spouses and their spawn and it is very apparent that they get together more for the rancid gossip and bitch offs than the children. Nor have we had much luck at the parks in general.

Since I am not a social person, generally, and prefer to be myself and not have my kiddos get the fall out due to my obviously not so likable personality (their loss). I have decided Church may be another, better social alternative for Remi. My personality is what it is, and isn't going to change drastically anytime soon.

I can't be anyone other than me. I like to use my brain, learn new things, am not afraid to fail badly, have skills and talents, am not afraid to have or voice my opinion and genuinely enjoy sharing my knowledge, talents and skills. I am also not afraid to be in the wrong and am fine with people teaching and correcting me as long as you are not a complete ass-head about it.

I am actually a pretty cool and very loyal and reliable person, if you can handle my very defined sense of self. I am who I am and I am quite proud of what I know, have done and my willingness to keep right on going. Life is rough, but making friends shouldn't be.

Poor Remi, she tries so hard to make friends with the children she meets but they already seem to be in little social clicks developed by their moms' own social agenda and seem to have no interest in meeting children outside those groups. The few children she has gotten along with the mothers for whatever reason took an instant dislike to me (and I have been trying so hard to limit what I say and how I say it. Keeping in mind body language too.) and snubbed both me and the girls.

Stupid cunty bitches teaching their children to be stupid cunty runts just like them by example. Ohh! How I would like to kick those parents for leading such poor examples. I am always being nice, trying always to treat others how I would like me and mine treated, making sure the girls know how they should treat others as well. The girls, honestly, are much better behaved out in public and are always unfailingly polite and nice. It just breaks my heart every time we go out to play with others to find this is not reciprocated. Hence the idea of LDS Church.

Okay I did consider Pre-K but it would take more time to get Remi ready and drive her there than she would actually be there. Such a waste of time and gas, I would rather spend that small amount of time playing with her and teaching through play myself.

I also looked into sports and other activities but for what ever reason there just isn't anything within a reasonable distant from us that she can participate in due to her age. Tucson, by far, had more extracurricular activities like swimming and sports for young children then we now have here in Crestview. That is just too bad.

I can't say why I thought of church but know it may be a good option if Remi does in fact like it. I am comfortable with what I know she will learn, the behavior expected and what I would have to put into it and thanks to Jess I got the information (Ward, address, time, etc...) that I need to go forward with this plan. We will see how things go. It really is up to Remi. It all depends on whether she enjoys going and wants to go. Right now of course she has no idea what church is.

I'll have to get back to you on how this goes.

Happy Birthday

2011-04-18T19:16:00.000-05:00

So Tate's and Zack's birthdays have come and gone. Tate is now two and Zack is now a whopping twenty-six. That just makes me feel old. *chuckling to self* We had a wonderful Saturday playing at the beach for a little while in the morning and then coming home to open presents and eat cake. Later that same evening we went to an awesome very authentic German restaurant (the owners were German, who were getting ready to close the restaurant for a few weeks to go back home to visit family). I had spaetzle with onions and sauerkraut, Remi had noodles, Tate had spaetzle and cheese, and Zack had weiner schnitzel. So darn good. We went out to eat to celebrate Zack's birthday since he wanted to be lazy Sunday and watch the Nascar race. It was a wonderful, simple day. Happy Birthday Tate and Zack.

Painfully Aware

2011-04-12T21:03:00.000-05:00

So last weekend we all went to the beach. It was a wonderful fun family activity that we now do as often as we can and yes I actually own a rather cute bathing suit.

I am not so vain that I can't and won't strut my fat self on the beach. I am quite happy beaching myself and spending the day lazily playing with the kiddos and lounging under a beach umbrella with some water and something to crochet.

Daddy hooking Remi's boogie board to her.

Tate trying to tell Remi what to do.

This beach day was no do different except that this time Zack managed to snap some pics of me. I do try to limit my camera exposure since I am never happy with how the pics come out and I am not a very photogenic person. Fat face syndrome...is how I think of it...or more appropriately round face syndrome, since I have a round face with a rather flat profile and unless pictured right just looks sooo wrong.

Remi moving off into deeper water.

Me trying to get Tate back into the water after getting it in her eyes.

Okay, admittedly, this first pic where you can only see my fat backside isn't so bad, but Lord!, the others only made me painfully aware of how much weight I am STILL struggling to lose. Thank you children. Thank you crappy genetics, age, and my STUPID screwed up right knee that make it hard to do. I can't believe that after more than six months of sweating buckets, painfully aware of how much and everything I ate, and making myself a bitch to P90X and my treadmill that I managed to lose only three pounds and screw up my knee. BOOO! So irritated about this since I know that had this been before thirty, kids and my knee I would be rocking the beach right now. Exercise and getting back into shape was so much easier in my early twenties. Damn!, what happened.

So my poor P90X and treadmill have sat unused for the last month and a half now due to my crunchy, painful, popping, no squatting right knee. I have started taking OLD LADY pills, as Zack likes to say. Joint supplements which seem to be helping quite a bit. So now my only problem is convincing Tate to give me the time to work out and get my motivation and willpower back on track and give it another go.

Oh! Boy do these pics put a fire under my horrifically flabby belly, ass, thighs, arms (eeew, gross. Fat arms and bulgy bellies really gross me out, especially being that they are mine.), and face.

*Thinking positive thoughts* What the crap, that so doesn't help.

AHHHHH! This pic is just so painful...LOL!

That's better, put some distance between me and the camera.

Ugh! Where is my treadmill.

Well, on a happy note. It was a great day even if my swimsuit was being mauled by a fat chick.

Thanks Zack for unintentionally making me PAINFULLY AWARE of how my poor, cute swimsuit is suffering being displayed on my wretched out of shape self and reminding me to just keep at it. Oh, and you, my bum knee. SUCK IT UP! We got work to do.

This of course won't stop me from strutting my stuff all over Florida beaches....watch out whales, I claim this space. I just hope that next summer I won't be competing with Shamu.

Being Yourself Unapologetically

2011-04-04T15:21:00.000-05:00

Is is okay to be yourself without regards to others?

I am on the forums today when someone posts a thread about fake people, how they feel they shouldn't have to fit some special mold, and should be able unapologetically say what they want to, when they want to, how they want to, when ever they want to, and feel that this should not reflect on the work they do and the items they sell.

I think, very sadly, that this person is delusional. The whole thread came off to me as a rant and their way of trying to garner permission to be an outright asshole to people.

I do believe it is important to be ourselves but not at the expense of others, meaning if you don't absolutely have to be rude or condescending or any other attitude that screams I FEEL SUPERIOR TO YOU then don't. It reflects very badly upon you and anything you do.

I think we are given a chance to leave a positive impact through written words, verbal conversations and our actions. I for one do try to be a better person every day and do feel bad if I know I have failed at this. I am not the best at tempering what I say nor am I known as a friendly person but I am trying and feel it is something everyone can benefit from, by trying to be a better, more aware individual everyday.