what makes you wake up happy?

Lots of things, right? Me too. Today I am happy to take part in the silent auctions going on for NieNie. I haven't posted a blog for one year (tomorrow) but this is definitely worth breaking the crummy spell. Read about this amazing woman here and find out about the auctions inspired by Design Mom here. The highest bidder at this auction will get a wake-up-happy skirt (choose reds or blues) and a blouse of your choice (sorry, certain styles/sizes are sold out).
See directions below (copied from design mom). But first, a note about the random picture above. It's kind of a gimmick that there was a photographer at swimming lessons this summer but I could not bear to not get this one. My mom stated my feelings perfectly. Here's a quote from a recent email (she lives in Ghana with my dad where they are on a mission for our church): how could josie be smiling if she took a deep breath? it proves she will smile first and worry later--a great philosophy.

Here's to all of us waking up happy more often--smiling first and worrying later. God bless the amazing Clark and Nielsen families (and just so you know, that's just what's happening--read Stephanie's sister's blog for more info).

How this silent auction works:
1) Please place your bid by leaving a comment with your Bid Amount in the comments section. Check the comments to see the most recent High Bid. Bidding starts at $75 (retails at $280+).
2) Following the close of the auction, I will contact the winner (make sure your comment bid includes an email address or link to your blog or some way to contact you). The winner will pay the amount of their winning bid to the Stephanie and Christian PayPal account. The winner will then forward the PayPal receipt to me (susannah@pronkstyle.com) with their shipping information and I will send the items. 3) Please bid in increments of whole dollars. The auction will end at Midnight PST on Tuesday, September 9, 2008.
4) Thank you for participating!

Men Like When Women Wake Up Happy

I sold this skirt to a cool woman at San Francisco Fashion Week. She told me the next day she wore it and got two compliments...from men. We laughed about how somehow Pronk clothing appeals to men--even with all its darling swirl and color. Don't you love this story? It's not like they were complimenting her on a tight shirt or fishnets. This happens to me, too. It's just one of those things that happens when you wear Pronk.

July 9, Twhirly Girl

Twhirly Skirts are so comfortable and versatile that you can do anything in them. And I mean anything. In the past week, this one has been to Half Moon Bay (sand still in pockets), to a dinner party with friends, and today I wore it on a bike ride up to campus to meet my husband for hot chocolate.

AS THY DAYS MAY DEMAND

Stop right now and realize how true it is that days demand things. This idea creeps me out--"days" become human and they attack us and make us do things. Days personnified. Maybe it's because the verb 'to demand' is so aggressive. It feels so mean and bossy to have something demanded of us. Has something good ever been demanded of you? I mean, certain demanding situations make us stretch and grow...but this is never a comfortable process. Oh well. While thinking about this notion that days have, are, and will demand things of me I decided to "turn it around" (I recently attended Byron Katie's workshop and learned about her very cool 4 questions--check them out at www.thework.com). The inverse would be I demand things of my days. And when I thought that, I realized something very valuable to me: on days when this is true, absolutely true, I have better days. When I demand something of my day, I am left at the end feeling more satisfied. One thing I have been demanding of my days this past week is knitting. Even when it's just a few pathetic rows, I feel thrilled. It made me feel less mad at my days when I turned it around because, we can be even--like my day will demand stuff of me but I'm going to send it right back.

Recently someone told me that he felt like his kindergarten teacher was turning him into her slave. It was very real to this person and it felt terrible. My days demand that I AM the servant to 4 small people. It is very real and sometimes can feel terrible. But what I love about turning this around is that at the bottom is I love these people. I wouldn't want my days not to be demanded of by them becuse it would mean that they weren't there. Barbra Streisand sings Being Alive. My favorite verse is the first:

Someone to hold you too close
Someone to hurt you too deep
Someone to sit in your chair
And ruin your sleep
And make you aware of being alive.

The next time your day demands something of you (which will be today) you have two options, as I see it. You can frame it as "being made aware of being alive". Or you can turn it around and serve up a demand for your day that is tricky or lovely or whatever you want it to be. I think it might make you feel better. At least, this is what I'm going to do...

Thankful for Cozy

2004:Your oldest child's first day of kindergarten is not cozy-- even when the house is quieter it's too emotional. When they come home from school and it's raining and you make popcorn and everybody reads stories...that's cozy.

My friends think it's funny how often I use the word cozy (that one and fancy which makes me sound like a little girl but I really haven't found a replacement that suits me). Maybe I love the word and the state of being so much because it grew on me while living in The Netherlands where they have a word that means cozy times infinity. 'Gezellig' doesn't translate into anything in English but if it could it would be cozy with more glory attached. Dutch people love 'gezellig' situations and so do I. You could say that I really prioritize cozy above many other moods. My top ten cozy ingredient list might look like this:

1. Warm glowing lamps 2. A soft blanket/throw--preferably not wool 3. The perfect company (varies depending on mood) 4. Fresh bread, cookies and herb tea or hot chocolate 5. The right music (again, mood will change this drastically) 6. A chunk of time that is open-ended...can't be rushed 7. Something exciting that you are anticipating in the near future 8. The right outfit (mood weighs in again) 9. Good health is preferable but coziness works wonders for sick people 10. Light brainless task on hand but no TV!!!

Fall and Winter are the ultimate seasons for getting cozy so make your own ingredient list and do it. Remember, if it's too emotional it's not going to be cozy...it will be too sentimental. If you want to learn to say gezellig like a pro listen to this (scroll down for the word). I love "take 2".

Here's to a cozy holiday season.

taking care of some things....

Today is our ten year anniversary. Thanks to dear dear friends we get to have a getaway tomorrow but something fun for today is that we are having a family birthday party. We started this a couple of years ago when we couldn't find a babysitter and realized that it's a celebration for our kids as well. So now it's a tradition. That first year it was yummy Mexican food, fresh-squeezed lemonade and chocolate cake. Tonight we will have raised waffles while watching the Shaggy Dog. (The older your kids get, the less your votes count.) I actually am really looking forward to this.

And I am also thinking about how we throw stuff away so easily in this world. It's cheaper to buy a new blender than get it fixed, if it's the $30-50 variety. (I know because I've gone through three in ten years). But there's been a disconnect because somehow this has translated into throwing out things that we should be slaving away to keep. Yesterday, when a random salesperson found out I had been married for ten years she said "you're still married after ten years?". Her tone was a mixture of disgust and disbelief so I decided to egg her on "Yeah, and we have four kids." She really couldn't believe this and said "You have four kids and you're still married?" It was quite sad and it reminded me of a quote in Natalie Goldberg's book The Long Quiet Highway that I love. She quotes from Zen master Katagiri Roshi "When you take care of something, it lives a long time." This is true. In our society we are taking care of the wrong things and they are lasting but who gives a rip? Think how well people take care of their toenails and feet with pedicures, fancy foot scrubs, and lotions (don't get me wrong, I love this particular mode of pampering) but never find the time to truly nurture their children or spouse with the same intensity or energy.

Willa Cather wrote "Where there is great love there are always miracles." Maybe the miracle with great love is that something that should have--or at least could have--broken or died, didn't. It could have been trashed for a new one but instead someone or some people took care of it and it's still here. Isn't that thrilling? It's like the Fountain of Something--we can really make things last longer. Taking care of things that we love is of course exhausting at points but more rewarding than anything. I declare that we all need to work harder at taking care of things or they will not last. Hey Alby, are you in? I know you are. Me too.

Shame on Shame

While reading Raising Cain (Kindlon, Thompson) this week, one phrase in particular struck me with a sad horrible shiver. Here is the passage: "The Hebrew sage Hillel advised that 'a person too anxious about being shamed cannot learn.'" I hate the concept of something so subtle making it impossible for someone to learn. [Let's face it: shame can be super slimy, masquerading as helpful criticism or truth...subtle, subtle, subtle.]

But we've all had that feeling where we couldn't succeed, maybe couldn't even focus on what we were doing, because of the rare brand of anxiety that only shame can cause. Shame causes red cheeks, slumped shoulders, and doubt. Shame always attacks confidence, optimism, and energy. With kids, you have to be careful how you give feedback. Many of you can relate to the almost out-of-body experience when words jump from your over-tired brain out your mouth and over the fence into shame territory. It's so easy to become annoyed when the kid who refuses to go to the bathroom all of a sudden has an accident or when the child who promised they wouldn't leave their favorite stuffed animal outside finds it drenched with last night's storm. But what dumb things to get upset about. Shame has its place in an adult mistake world sort of way but kids shouldn't have to feel that really. The authors in Raising Cain argue that boys experience "a steady diet of shame" in the elementary years as a result of their active, impulsive typically male natures which don't suit them well in a quiet classroom where order, sitting, and following directions are expected and rewarded.

I love boy energy. If you're interested in this book about boys you should also read Iron John by Robert Bly.