Out With a Whimper

It's New Year's Eve. Some friends are going to be calling me shortly to try and get me to go to a party, but I don't think I'm going to make it.

One of my fish is sick.

I was just telling someone about my amazingly resilient fish. They're over five years old, which I think is pretty old for fish. Granted, I once had a goldfish that lived to be nine, but being that these fish were my first foray into a full-on tropical fish tank, I was sure I'd screw it up somehow and they wouldn't last a month. I was wrong.

They're a couple of bala sharks, and I've loved having them. As their name implies, they look like tiny sharks, and make a cool clicking sound when they eat. Of course fish aren't the most exciting of pets, but that's kind of the point. It was very soothing to watch them floating around as I would drift off to sleep.

But now one of them has the floating-upside-down blues. From what I've read, it sounds like he's got something wrong with his "swim bladder." Oddly, one cure for that is to feed the fish peas. Easier said than done, but I did my best and all I can do now is wait...

It's making me really sad, though. How weird to get attached to a pet that you never actually get to cuddle with or touch. But I have...

What Are YOU Doing On New Year's Eve?

I hate New Year's Eve. There. I said it! My bad New Year's Eve experiences far out number the good ones, so over the years I've done my best to ignore the holiday completely. New Year's Day, with its promise of mom's blackeyed peas, I much prefer.

So I have no idea what I'll be doing tomorrow night, but I can honestly say if I just end up staying at home watching A&E's 24 hour "24" marathon, I wouldn't mind that one bit...

Where Am I?

I have been taking advantage of my not needing to be on the Internets everyday, and have been spending this week doing some fun things. Seeing family and friends; taking advantage of post-holiday sales; and theater-hopping!

Yesterday I saw "Rumor Has It" and "The Chronic WHUT? Cles of Narnia." I found "Narnia" the more believable of the two.

In "Rumor" Aniston is engaged to Mark Ruffalo, but is having doubts about their relationship. That anyone would have doubts about marrying Mark Ruffalo is unbelievable enough, but that she would (SPOILER!) then cheat on the guy with Kevin Costner?? I think not. Of course, that's just my own obsession with Mr. Ruffalo clouding my judgment, but even aside from that, the movie was so light it almost floated out of the theater. I also tend to take issue with any romantic comedy that has to use cheating on a significant other as a plot device. Especially when the person being cheated on is perfectly....perfect.

After that I snuck into "Narnia" via a hidden wardrobe the Metroen has in a closet. Unlike "The Lord of the Rings," I actually did read several (though not all) of the "Narnia" books as a child. I remember being so engrossed in one of them that I peed my pants. I didn't want to stop reading, and didn't notice that I had to go to the bathroom, and by the time I did, it was too late. I suppose that's a testament to the books' excellence? Regardless, I made sure to take a bathroom break before the movie started.

I'm not going to get into all that stuff about how "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" is a Christian parable because I think that's kind of pointless. (Resurrection myths existed long before Christ, so why can't Lewis's use of one here be a tribute to longstanding mythic tradition? Why does it always have to be about Jesus? Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!) And while I'm not as a big a fan of the "Rings" movies as some people I know (you know who you are!) I have to say they were definitely better than "Narnia." I'm not sure if it's the talking animals--which, granted, are done amazingly well--especially the talking beavers (dirty!), or the fact that the heroes are all kids, or that the world of Narnia could just be interpreted as their fantasy, but it never reaches a level of "gravitas" that any of the "Rings" films reach. And as a result, it often comes off as...silly. In fact, people in the audience laughed at several moments that weren't supposed to be funny...

I was engrossed, and never bored, but let's just say if I had to go to the bathroom during the movie, my pants would have stayed dry.

Also? I hated the ending.

Jesus Was a Bunny

This is my favorite nativity scene. EVER. It's so wrong, and yet, so right.

Christmas is over now, so I have to go weep myself to sleep knowing that tomorrow I will have to return to the hell that is everyday life.

Oh, I kid. Sort of. I had a great Christmas, and I'm sure that the joy I felt this weekend will last at least through the end of the week. I have so many cool new things to read/listen to/play with/watch/wear, I just don't know where to begin!

So, for one last time this year, let me say: Merry Christmas.

My Kitty Is Snoring

That has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but it's just too cute not to mention.

Today's SFist post is now up. And with that done, I think I will head out shortly to do some last minute purchasing. I CAN NOT BE STOPPED!

Go Get the Pole Out of the Crawlspace!

And let the Airing of Grievances begin!

Only One Day Until Festivus!

There's another SFist post up now. And I'd like to add a disclaimer. When I speak of "family," I am in no way speaking of MY family. My family is PERFECT.

Man. It's pouring rain out there, and I have to go out into it because I have an optometrist appointment. Gah! I'm not one to complain about the rain (I HAVE to love it, don't I?) but the thing I've hated about it recently is how muggy and warm it's been. If it's gonna rain, I'd rather it be chillingly cold, too. Instead, my apartment is unbearably stuffy and hot because I can't open a window for very long because...it's pouring rain out!

I Think I'll Sue Leno for NOT Being Funny

And for keeping me from watching the "Tonight Show" for the past 10 years.

A woman has issued a restraining order against David Letterman for some pretty batshit crazy reasons.

Dumb.

That's about all I can muster to say about the season finale of "Nip/Tuck" last night.

Oh Hi!

I had to get some more Christmas shopping done this afternoon, so today's SFist post went up a little late.

While I still can't believe Christmas is a mere five days away, I have to say that's probably a good thing. SOMETHING has to stop my crazed shopping!

Martha Stewart, Why Do You Hate Me?

I just attempted to make the pictured recipe from the Martha Stewart Holiday Cookies special issue. They're Almond Macaroons, and I should have been suspicious from the beginning since the recipe doesn't contain any flour. It's almond paste, confectioners sugar, an egg white, and vanilla.

This was the result.

Granted, my mixer died on me in the middle of mixing, but I'm pretty sure I mixed it well enough, and even if I hadn't, I don't think improper mixing would result in this.

They don't taste bad, but they're an unpleasant texture--they kind of stick to your teeth and are both too chewy and too crunchy. They're just wrong.

This isn't the first time a Martha Stewart recipe has completely screwed me over, but still I continue to put my faith in her. And I baked some chocolate shortbread cookies yesterday that turned out OK, so it's not like ALL her recipes suck. It's just kind of hard to judge which ones will be disasters and which ones won't.

And I was planning to bake a batch of snickerdoodles, but now with my mixer busted, I don't think I can. There's no WAY I'm going to get all "Frontier House"on the process and try to cream the butter and sugar together with a whisk, I tell you what!

Raised Eyebrows

Last week's mention of "Cheaters" compelled me to check out the show again. TiVo must have sensed this desire because it decided to record an episode for me yesterday. One of the stories was from this young lady, who suspected her boyfriend was...yes...cheating on her.

Now, I can't do an actual screencap of the show, so I took this photo of my TV because I just HAD to share the image of this woman's eyebrows with someone. The photo doesn't do them justice (click on it for a bigger view), but I think you get the general idea.

Now, I understand that eyebrow-waxing accidents happen. And if something like that should happen to you, you'd probably do your best to camouflage the mistake, and I think any attempt would probably look...fake.

But COME ON!

I have the feeling this was a conscious choice on this woman's part. Why anyone would CHOOSE to paint their eyebrows to look like a bad version of Divine is beyond me. But all I could think was, if this woman is really confused about why her boyfriend might cheat on her, well....I think the answer is right in front of above her eyes.

Aneurysm! Heart Attacks! Strokes!

I'm going to try and put up a daily TV post on SFist again this week, and you can read today's installment now!

Remember How I Said I'd Get a Smaller Tree This Year?

Tori and Lights
Originally uploaded by Rain Rain Rain.

Well, that didn't happen. I WANTED to, but none of the places I went to had Douglas Firs that were under six-feet tall...OK, they DID, but they were like, three-feet tall, and that's a little TOO small. Come on!

So, once again, I have a huge-ass tree crammed into my tiny apartment. It took me four hours to get the lights and decorations on it--I kid you not, and now I am utterly exhausted. And while I'd like to just enjoy it, all I can think about is what a nightmare it's going to be to get it OUT of my apartment in a few weeks.

Ahhh....Christmas.

Are You PROUD Of Yourself?

Apparently, four people involved with the show "Cheaters" are being sued for assault. I'll admit to being mildly addicted to the show in the past, but I stopped watching it about a year ago because it was really beginning to seem like most of the incidents were staged. But, if this suit is legit, perhaps I was wrong.

However, I STILL believe the episode where Joey Greco gets stabbed was completely fake.

Apprenti

I watched the season finale of "The Apprentice" last night, and have to say I'm a little torn about the ending. On the one hand, I think it was kind of a dick move on Randal's part to not say Rebecca should be hired, too. But on the other hand I think he had a point when he said the show is called "The Apprentice" and not "The Apprenti" [sic!] Trump didn't have the balls to just hire the both of them, and instead tried to get Randal to do his dirty work. And Randal was having none of that crap.

But cry not for Rebecca, as she already has an $150,000 job offer.

Well, THAT Happened

So, I got through the interview. It was quite long, and with several different people, but I think it went OK. I am admittedly a little rusty when it comes to job interviews, and I haven't had the chance to kind of build up to this one, but whaddya gonna do?

I really, really liked the people I spoke with, and it seems like a totally awesome place to work, so I'm really excited by the prospect. But I also don't want to build myself up to disappointment, so I think I will keep my fingers steadily crossed, and try not to fret too much about it.

And most importantly, now the mad rush to Christmas can officially begin!