DouÂble PorÂtrait with a Glass of Claret
by Salvatore DIFALCO

The ConÂtesÂsa cools herÂself with a pink silk fan as I climb her shoulÂders. I stradÂdle her neck with my thighs in their green velÂvet legÂgings, and covÂer her right eye with my right hand while I raise a glass of ruÂby with my left and thus sinÂisÂter hand and toast the purÂple phanÂtasm mountÂing my shoulÂders, perÂhaps an inÂcarÂnaÂtion of BacÂchus genÂerÂatÂed by my psyÂche. I toast you, BacÂchus! And I alÂso toast Eros, who may be floatÂing above BacÂchus, shootÂing litÂtle arÂrows. Will this bring me misÂforÂtune? Will this bring me misÂforÂtune even if I am left-handÂed? The ConÂtesÂsa is tolÂerÂant in the exÂtreme. TickÂled pink by me, she perÂmits all manÂner of liÂcense, withÂin reason.
Wee, I can see the abanÂdoned green casÂtle from this lofty coign and the green lands surÂroundÂing it. The casÂtle beÂlonged to the Contessaâs great grandÂfaÂther long beÂfore the famÂiÂly lost its forÂtune. One of my japes toÂday is wearÂing a scarÂlet jackÂet that beÂlongs to her faÂther, Count MonteÂdoro. Does it not look smart on me? Am I not spruce with it on? It makes me feel noÂble. That said, the Count will kill me beÂfore this day is done. More claret, my dear? Please quit shufÂfling your feet in their pearl-beadÂed shoes. Do not let me spill it on your grass-smeared, wedÂding-white dress. She wore this dress why? To gamÂbol with me up and down the grassy hills and over the fields like two luÂnatics? Or to mock her faÂther and their faÂmilÂial traÂdiÂtions, dicÂtatÂed by blood bonds and staÂtus? But we are not getÂting marÂried. We are getÂting drunk!
Thus far she has polÂished off half the botÂtle. Of course I drank a botÂtle on my own beÂfore we set off on our jourÂney. QuesÂtion: How can she supÂport me and BacÂchus on her shoulÂders? I am not a small man. I am not a large man, but I am not a small one. And BacÂchus is BacÂchus, my grape-hued muse. Good quesÂtion! You are doÂing well, ConÂtesÂsa. Wee! This makes me merÂry, this makes the ConÂtesÂsa merÂry. Her faÂther would be horÂriÂfied if he could see her now. And if he saw me in his jackÂet he would likeÂly try to pierce me with the orÂnaÂmenÂtal sword sheathed on his flank or shank me with the anÂtique dirk he keeps in his sleeve. And I do not blame him. I do not blame your faÂther, ConÂtesÂsa. No man of sound mind would sancÂtion my union with his daughÂter or with any woman he knew. I am comÂfortÂable with this. But that does not mean I canÂnot play.
Wee, ConÂtesÂsa. I beg you not to stumÂble now, not to drop me withÂout warnÂing. I sense a subÂtle slackÂenÂing. Your laughÂter has diÂminÂished, dear. Are you not enÂjoyÂing yourÂself? Shall I jump down and perÂform a few acÂroÂbatÂics for your amuseÂment? BacÂchus squeezes my head with his thighs. What is he tryÂing to tell me? That I should jump down and do what is right? Or that he does not feel well and shortÂly will evacÂuÂate his conÂtents? ConÂtesÂsa, ConÂtesÂsa, what shall we do? Shall I jump down? Or shall we run to the green casÂtle with me on your shoulÂders and BacÂchus on mine? I think you can do it. I beÂlieve you can make it all the way.
She starts to move slowÂly. I stretch out my arms for balÂance. But she does not proÂceed in the diÂrecÂtion of the casÂtle. InÂstead she lopes to the rivÂer. Why are you headÂed toÂward the rivÂer, love? She does not walk in a straight line, she weaves. She picks up speed even as she weaves. We are movÂing at a smarÂtish pace now. I feel the wind in my face. BacÂchus hangs on to my hair. The ConÂtesÂsa is full of surÂprisÂes. I feel elatÂed. I feel elatÂed even as she runs headÂlong toÂward the riverÂbank. I feel us tipÂping, tipÂping forÂward. BacÂchus hangs on to my ears. A moÂment of perÂil seems imÂmiÂnent. And yet I am joyÂful. Very litÂtle is needÂed to be hapÂpy, reÂalÂly. It is all withÂin yourÂself and in your way of drinking.
Filed under Fiction on September 11th, 2026
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Short InÂterÂview with a LaÂconÂic Author
by Robert WEXELBLATT

InÂterÂviewÂer: Thank you for agreeÂing to this. I know you give few interviews.
AuÂthor: SelÂdom asked to.
InÂterÂviewÂer: Letâs get right inÂto it, then. Your work has been varÂiÂousÂly deÂscribed as obÂscure and difÂfiÂcult, alÂso suÂperÂfiÂcial, amÂaÂteurÂish, diletÂtanÂtish, conÂsolÂing, inÂspired, proÂfound, provocaÂtive, huÂmorÂless, and witÂty. How would you deÂscribe your work?
AuÂthor: WideÂly ignored.
InÂterÂviewÂer: Thatâs it? Two words?
AuÂthor: Yes. Thatâs one word.
InÂterÂviewÂer: I see this is goÂing to be a chalÂlenge. Very well. Your work has been called both modÂern and post-modÂern. How do you clasÂsiÂfy what you write?
AuÂthor: ConÂtemÂpoÂrary AmerÂiÂcan literature.
InÂterÂviewÂer: Very amusÂing. So, what do you most enÂjoy writÂing on?
AuÂthor: An old door held up by a couÂple of filÂing cabinets.
InÂterÂviewÂer: I meant comÂputÂer or ball point, lined paÂper or plain, penÂcil and leÂgal pad.
AuÂthor: FounÂtain pen.
InÂterÂviewÂer: ReÂalÂly?
AuÂthor: My chief link with tradition.
InÂterÂviewÂer: Okay. This reÂalÂly is goÂing to be difÂfiÂcult.⌠Your onÂly novÂel won a prize. Why hasnât there been a second?
AuÂthor: Maybe there is.
InÂterÂviewÂer: Oh? UnÂfinÂished or unpublished?
AuÂthor: UnÂwritÂten.
InÂterÂviewÂer: I was warned youâre difÂfiÂcult. Okay, let me check my notes.⌠It says here that youâve alÂso won a teachÂing prize? Yes? What would you say is the most imÂporÂtant qualÂiÂty in a teacher?
AuÂthor: ReÂmemÂberÂing.
InÂterÂviewÂer: ReÂmemÂberÂing? ReÂmemÂberÂing what? StuÂdentsâ names? LecÂture notes?
AuÂthor: That to teach is a tranÂsiÂtive verb.
InÂterÂviewÂer: You teach and you write. Do you do the one to supÂport the other?
AuÂthor: I need both.
InÂterÂviewÂer: How so?
AuÂthor: Writingâs loneÂsome; teachingâs an ideÂal form of soÂcial life.
InÂterÂviewÂer: SoÂcial life?
AuÂthor: SophoÂmores donât age; theyâre alÂways nineÂteen. And they have to listen.
InÂterÂviewÂer: So, you like young people?
AuÂthor: Iâm comÂfortÂable with them.
InÂterÂviewÂer: With post-adolescents?
AuÂthor: Iâm post-adolescent.
InÂterÂviewÂer: I was toldâââand it cerÂtainÂly seems trueâââyouâre givÂen to false modesty.
AuÂthor: Thatâs a conÂdiÂtion to which I aspire.
InÂterÂviewÂer: Clever and evaÂsive, conÂfirmÂing what you deÂny. Well then, have you got any adÂvice for asÂpirÂing young writers?
AuÂthor: I do.
InÂterÂviewÂer: And that is?
AuÂthor: Keep your bum on the desk chair.
InÂterÂviewÂer: Okay. Iâm goÂing to give up. Just one more quesÂtion beÂfore I do. Youâre prolific.
AuÂthor: ProÂlifÂic? For me, writÂing is mostÂly not writing.
InÂterÂviewÂer: Yet you keep writÂing. Is that beÂcause you love it?
AuÂthor: Thereâs nothÂing I love more than writÂingâââand nothÂing I wonât do to avoid it.
InÂterÂviewÂer: For example?
AuÂthor: This interview.
Filed under Fiction on August 14th, 2026
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Big Mouth BilÂly Bass
by Alex DERMODY

Nathan stared at the half-eatÂen cake on the kitchen taÂble. He was down four pounds from last month. But should he eat the whole cake? DeÂspite his stomÂach hangÂing slightÂly over his shorts, Nathan thought he looked okay. That would change afÂter the cake. Iâll go to the gym latÂer. Burn it all off. HavÂing setÂtled on a plan, he ate more cake.
Nathanâs driÂveÂway was made of tiny pebÂbles. He heard a crunchÂing sound as tires rolled over the stones. He froze. There was still icÂing left. He closed the cake box, stuck it in the fridge.
The front door flew open. In stepped his big sisÂter, Beth. She set a white buckÂet filled with dirty waÂter on the tile floor. By the tail, Beth pulled out a bigÂmouth bass. She said, âIâve had it with this thing.â
âPleased to meet you,â the bass said. âMy name is Billy.â
Beth dropped the fish back in the waÂter. âIâm castÂing in the pond earÂliÂer when BilÂly here surÂfaces, says we need to talk.â
BilÂly hung over the rim of the buckÂet. âA woman went in your sisterâs house every night this week afÂter she left for work.â
âThatâs our lawyer. With what weâre payÂing, she should be makÂing house calls.â
âIâve lived in your neighÂborÂhood pond five years now. The onÂly othÂer time Iâve seen this was the Carltons.â
âDaÂmon wouldnât do that.â
Nathan asked, âWhoâs your lawyer?â
Beth hesÂiÂtatÂed. âGabÂbie York.â
Nathan said, âCome on.â
âSo what if they have a past? That was colÂlege. AnÂcient hisÂtoÂry. The fish is lyÂing. DaÂmon said GabÂbie was onÂly over MonÂday night. I checked the camÂeras. Her car pulled in the driÂveÂway, and she was gone thirÂty minÂutes later.â
BilÂly said, âThe lawyer parked down the street the rest of the week. She enÂtered through the back, through the poolâs screen door.â
âLies.â
âWhy would BilÂly lie?â Nathan asked. âBe realistic.â
Beth balled her fists. LookÂing around the kitchen, she saw a plate of cookÂies on the counter. âYouâre eatÂing cookÂies for breakfast?â
Nathan felt his face turn red. âThatâs not my norÂmal breakÂfast. I was hunÂgry is all.â
âPoor Nathan. Keep telling yourÂself that.â Then to BilÂly, Beth said, âMy husÂband isnât a cheater. Youâre a liar. Iâm turnÂing you inÂto a sandwich.â
BilÂly igÂnored the threat. He was conÂcerned with Nathan. âI used to have an eatÂing probÂlem. There was this house, the JohnÂsons, and they fed the fish pizÂza. I was powÂerÂless. If there was pizÂza in the waÂter, I was eating.â
Nathan was emÂbarÂrassed by Billyâs conÂcern. ProbÂlem? Thereâs no probÂlem. EveryÂbody eats. So what if I eat more than othÂers? Food makes life betÂter. He grabbed a cookÂie. TakÂing a bite, he said, âSpeak for yourÂself. Iâm fine.â Nathan took anÂothÂer bite, but this one tastÂed strange. He chewed slowÂer, his mouth now dry.
Beth said, âIâve heard enough. Iâm fryÂing BilÂly in peanut oil.â She picked up the buckÂet and made for the door.
SomeÂthing didnât feel right to Nathan. He folÂlowed Beth out inÂto the mornÂing light. âYou canât kill BilÂly. Heâs just a stuÂpid bass. Move him to anÂothÂer pond.â
Beth paused. She liftÂed the buckÂet inÂto her truck bed. âFine.â
âNorth Street pond is a good ââ
âI know how to move a fish!â
âOkay. Iâll call you tomorrow.â
Beth looked exÂhaustÂed. âWhatÂevÂer.â
Nathan went back in the house. He sat at the kitchen taÂble, eatÂing cookÂies while goÂing over what hapÂpened. He couldnât get it out of his head. He went to the fridge and grabbed the cake box. His fork hovÂered over the icÂing. He finÂished the job. LookÂing in the mirÂror, Nathan felt shame. He drove to the gym.
âŚ
Nathan cast his line to the cenÂter of the pond. He reeled slowÂly, the wind whipÂping his gym shorts. The idea that BilÂly wasnât here filled him with dread. He needÂed to speak with the fish. It had been a month since he last ate a cookÂie or cake or anyÂthing with sugÂar. His body felt great, but menÂtalÂly he was slipÂping. BeÂtween the holÂiÂdays and his birthÂday, Nathanâs cravÂings were esÂcaÂlatÂing. He hoped BilÂly could help.
A cirÂcle of housÂes surÂroundÂed the pond, and beÂhind the pink one was a small dock. Nathan cast his line by the dock, jigÂging the bait slightÂly. He felt a large thump. His pole bent. He reeled. The fish jumped from the waÂterâââa giÂant bigÂmouth bassâââand splashed back inÂto the pond. He was amazed, first at the fish, then at his line. The tugÂging disÂapÂpeared. Nathan reeled with no reÂsisÂtance, but as he reeled, a small wake made its way to shore.
âBudÂdy,â BilÂly said. âGet this hook out of my mouth.â
Nathan held BilÂly by the tail, the fishâs new weight strainÂing his wrist. âBilÂly, is everyÂthing okay?â he asked, tossÂing the bass back in the pond.
BilÂly poked his head out of the waÂter. âThings are betÂter than okay. The peoÂple in the pink house, they throw out sourÂdough bread every afÂterÂnoon. Have you tried sourÂdough? Itâs makÂing me blow up like a whale, but I donât care.â
âReÂalÂly?â
âYeah, Iâve got it made. BeÂsides havÂing the best bread, this pond is stocked with the coolest fish. Have you ever met a trout? Theyâre hiÂlarÂiÂous. Why do you look upÂset? Did someÂthing happen?â
Nathan reÂgretÂted visÂitÂing the pond. He worked so hard to creÂate this new healthy lifestyle for himÂself, all to reÂalÂize it was a house of cards. âI just came to check on you. I was worried.â
âLike I told your sisÂter, Iâm doÂing amazing.â
âYou saw Beth?â
âShe visÂitÂed earÂliÂer this week to tell me about the diÂvorce. Good for her. She alÂso told me about your diÂet. You look great.â
âThanks.â
âIt seems like weâre all doÂing well.â
âAre we? BilÂlyâââdo you know what hapÂpens to fish your size? They stuff them and hang them on walls.â
âWhat! Why?â
âAs troÂphies.â
âBarÂbarÂic. Well, as scary as that sounds, donât worÂry. My days in this pond are numÂbered. I met a laÂdy fish. I know, I know. A playÂer like me setÂtling down. But itâs time. Sheâs from the pond across the highÂway, so weâre movÂing soon. Iâll lose all this weight once my sourÂdough supÂply is cut off.â
âThe pond across the highÂway is beÂhind a bakÂery. Thatâs where sourÂdough comes from.â
âOh, reÂalÂly? I had no idea.â
âThat pond is alÂso a noÂtoÂriÂous fishÂing spot.â
BilÂly didnât hear Nathan. AnÂothÂer fish popped its head out of the waÂter. BilÂly said, âThis sexy scaly thing is my girlÂfriend, Talia.â
Talia said, âItâs alÂmost time, Big DadÂdy. We betÂter not miss the sourdough.â
âWe wonât. Iâll be by the dock in a minute. Get that sweet tail over there and hold our place next to the red buoy.â
AfÂter Talia swam away, Nathan said, âShe seems⌠fun.â
âSheâs the best. Donât worÂry about me, alÂright? So Iâm enÂjoyÂing the most deÂliÂcious bread of all time a litÂtle too much. Itâs fine. I have everyÂthing unÂder control.â
âIf you say so.â
âWill you bring sourÂdough to our pond-warmÂing parÂty next week?â
âBut you just said you were done afÂter the move?â
âI meant afÂter the parÂty. AfÂter the parÂty, no more big Billy.â
âSure.â Nathan nodÂded. âIâll see you then. Take care of yourÂself, Billy.â
Nathan grabbed his pole and tackÂleÂbox. MovÂing through the tall grass on the way back to his truck, he tried to shake an odd feelÂing. He knew Bethâs biggest catch was mountÂed on her ofÂfice wall, and BilÂly was a litÂtle bigÂger than that.
He sat in his truck. He didnât start the enÂgine. He picked at dirt unÂder his finÂgerÂnails, thinkÂing about his big sisterâs diÂvorce. She marÂried a stranger. That was Bethâs reÂalÂiÂty. What was Nathanâs reality?
It was a bright day. Nathan looked through the windÂshield of his truck. There was a donut shop across the street. He thought about Beth. About BilÂly and the sourÂdough. Nathan wantÂed to feel good. He threw the truck in gear. He sped past the donut shop on his way to the gym.
Filed under Fiction on July 31st, 2026
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