2012 is coming to an end.  It has been a good year.  I made tough decisions but I'm happy with the outcome.  I'm closer to my family now.. And to my dad. Something that I have missed out over the years. I have set my priorities right. 😊 The year passes by real fast.. I loving my job, my boss, my colleagues.. Not forgetting my tenant. Haha Alhamdulillah at least I manage to fulfilled 2012's new year resolution. 👍👍 In Shaa Allah, 2013 will be a better year for me. Better opportunities... I hope. Keeping my fingers cross. I really can't wait!! Ohhh please let it happen. Hehe.  A lil update. My fear of balloons. I'm getting the hang of it.. Even it did terrify me, my fear of heights rule it all. I tried a roller coaster ride n hell!! I nearly pee in my pants. I swear it hard to overcome the fear. God knows how I felt at that moment. When I think of that night... I'm glad that I'm still alive. Haha.  I got back in contact with some old friends, dates and ex-es. And as always, ex will still remain as that... The fact that they would never change!  Some friends that I fell out with years back. I glad I'm back in contact. Forget the pass be mature... No doubt I did miss them but it's something that I have chosen. Maybe due to my ego, I guess it turn out this way. Oh well, I never regret things I did in life as its always a lesson learnt. No doubts we did argue n fight but it make us stronger. I know I owe them too much n my decision was only making matter worst. Nevertheless, I always hope n pray the best for them.

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Has been a year since I last wrote here. A lot of changes happen within a year. No joke.  This one year make me realized several issues. Issues I had with myself. I keep bumping into old friends that I lost contact with... Well they said I have changed. Yeah. Changed to a bigger me. Haha I love my current job. Time working here passes by so fast, I didn't realize that I have been work here for 6 months... Alhamdulillah... To top it off i finally got a permanent job! My boss is great, my colleagues... okay la, not too bad. I have my freedom in this job. Hah. Alot still need to be learned... Boss is giving me 1year to master it all. Hah! Lagi stress. I thank god that now I'm really close to my family... Especially dad. I am in talking terms. No longer the argument talks. I guess this year is somehow a good year. I guess when I lose something I would stand to gain in another way.  No doubt I sometimes miss the life I used to have but this is the decision I made.  Honestly, it wasn't easy at first. I was totally lost in the beginning but hey, I'm okay now. Coping with it. I learn to appreciate life as it is. At least now I know what are my priorities in life. I'm 26 and still going no where... I do realized that I had never been a good friend. I'm self-centered, stubborn, short tempered, egoistic, unapproachable... Slowly insyaallah I will throw away that bad attitude. I have done my close buddy lots of wrong, talking behind his back but stating the facts. Thankfully, I was given a chance to mend my ways... ☺ Anyways, I do have a few close gfs now. Heh. Girls will always be girls. Dramas will never end.  Love... Let nature takes it course. ☺ just happy with things the way they are now.  BR Nur Faiqah

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It is just so weird. 
Found a black cat under my blk few weeks back n I took pity of her. She was limping. Maybe the injury was because she was ran over by a car...
Days passed n her back legs grew stronger. She was beginning to walk normally. 
No matter how u bath her she still stinks. Y? Cos she can't control her bladder. Maybe due to her organs which is damaged. N yes I have never seen her pee nor shit normally. Anyways, I grew attached to her. Every night I will meet her. Just to play with her n she is one freaking kaypo cat. No doubt she still a teen. 
But what happen today aches me. My sister called when I just finish my movie. I was told that she was being swept down the stairs by an auntie. Not sure from which floor. When my sister asked why must that auntie treat her this way, that auntie just said that bluntly that she was smelly.
My sister asked her which floor was she staying at she claims level 14...
How can she be so cruel?
Doesn't she have feeling?
It just an injured cat trying to survive in this world right?
I rushed from city hall to home just to see her. U don't wanna see her in that condition. U will feel helpless. Well I did! My heart aches so much to see her in pain. Lying down on the grass n growling in pain. I totally pity her. I felt useless cos I wasn't of much help. I didn't know what to do.. I told my sister to call SPCA. She was growling in pain. 
I just seat beside her n talk to her. I felt like a weirdo but who cares. I just want her to know that I care. 
So that SPCA guy came. The first question 'will she be put to sleep?' he said most likely. He advised me to monitor. If she is not getting any better in three days call them again. 
All I wanna do is not to make her suffer. I think it's so unfair for her!
But life is never fair. 
Anyways I apologized n said I will monitor n hoping that she will get better.. N all this while when that SPCA guy was here she was walking. Moving around pretending that she's okay. I think she knew.
So she still here. Lying down. Still in pain. I'm just hope that she will recover soon.
Midnight I love you.

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I don't believe that good guys exist.
I don't believe that I deserve a good guy.
I don't believe that I can speak in Bahasa.
I don't believe that is taking place right now....
Yup.

a lot of questions building up in my mind. y me?
y he wants to be friends with me?
y is he friendly to my friends? y is he so down to earth? everyone seems to click well with him... I think. he's uber sweet and nice.

I thought it was a dream but no...
still remember the first day I saw him.
well I was late but he wasn't mad.
he was so nice that I felt so out of place... like I wasn't myself. yes. I was shy... uh-huh! believe it not. Q was shy!!! hmmm....
not only that he was so friendly that I feel so comfy with him. :)))
then on our first 'call' date he met my friends. Fad n Syima...
hmmm.. well tt sounds like a wrong move but he wasn't awkward. Fad bullied him which I did find it a lil rude but he wasn't mad or anything like I imagine... scary but true.
so was he pretending? I doubt it cos I feel like he was so sincere... I maybe wrong but yar..

after fad left, left Syima n F. me n Didi
we sort of got into a double date kind of thing. n surprisingly the guys talk!! gosh..
-__-''

a lot of questions running in my mind but i'm not trying to think about them. i'm just gonna stop those paranoid feeling n hang loose.
yes.
I will put my guards down. send my whole army for a long holiday. go with the flow n take a risk. :)
afterall, u never know what is in store for u u til u tried right?
moreover I realized that I have always put my guards on ready mode to prevent me from getting hurt.
what is love without hurt?
'love hurts'
u have to risk urself. when was the last time I do that?
seriously I forgot how it feels like to be heart broken. :)

before anything...
I apologize if he didn't keep his promise. I barely know him... Just a reminder not to hope too much pls.

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life's good so far.
life as single...
yeah!

I was complaining but now, i 'm actually loving it. ♥
no curfews, no daily reports, no unnecessary arguments, no heartbreaks.. but can't deny the fact tt I do felt lonely. Still I don't mind it all...
maybe I wasn't even ready for all this love shit. nahhh... not ready.
so love will be put aside for now. However i do wanna bitch fit about certain issues...

okay remember Papi?
ya. match make from heaven shit!!
hahhahahaha
anyways, the longer i know him the longer i realized that he is my mirror.
he is so my opposite n we r always on a diff page. yup i realized that too!
He's of my ideal height 175. botak. tattoos[bad boy image] aww... *orgasms*
but personality as i got to know him.. nahh! a total big O!
a total mat in denial... WTF!!!

I just got tired. to know guys. start all over... intro. likes. dislikes. i'm doing the same. watching movies. only diff movies la.. duhh!

watever happens shall happen.... da give up. lol. give up! give up!!! haha

current obsession: Green Tea Machiato. All thanks to Syima...

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seriously, I this blog is usually updated about guys. lmfao..

let's talk about them! yeah...

let's begin...

Mat Rock. I really think the issues ain't about me. it's about him... seriously. I drop hints like I liked him. no respond. I told him i'm dating other guys. no respond. well he kpo la wanna know details. not because he's interested but because he's just plain kpo. duhh... then everytime whenever we met n when he send me back, he will gimme a hug without fail... the hug is no longer as warm as last time. became like a norm friend hug. u get what I mean right?

that's Mat Rock for u guys....

then I have been on several boring, useless dates...
none of them are really into dating dating.. but most seems like wanna have fun. okay. my type of fun is different. I wanna have fun like lots of laughters, silly craps, random stuff. them? sex, sex, sex! annoying? very much...
I guessed guys will always be guys. I never blame them. it's okay if they wanna have fun. seriously. up to them but as long as you r single. not married guys... isk! wtf r u thinking?
u wanna have fun go ahead. with your wife tt is. not some other girls... isk! then y get married in the first place? right?

true enough that guys can never be satisfied with one. so they cheat. if their wife cheat then the husband will get mad then curse and swear and throw a bitch fit.
when the husband cheat, he expect the wife to give him another chance.
so it's fair for guys? since when!!!
well life is never fair to begin with... true enough? ;)

enough about cheating partners.

so, there's this bad boy that currently i'm in contact with.

we are fated! lol.. cos his nick is Papi. *griiiinnnsssss*

shall not mention him too much cos we have yet to go on a date. hmmm...

speaking of date. I don't think I ever been on an official date with Mat Rock! lol

that's for now.


pee.ass: no luck in job hunting..

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years have past.
whatever u have done wrong in ur past doesn't means that u r changed person now; even if u did changed.
what u r in the past will remain in the future.
people won't change.
their attitude will remain the same.
people who tried to change don't bother cos others won't see that u tried.
oh wait. u didn't try hard enough.

whatever it is, the message i'm trying to convey here is...
others still think that you are the worthless person back then and now.
get the picture??

I feel sad for you though.


Now back to job hunting. nothing much. been to interviews. got a job but was forced to decline that job. wow! best gitu kan... pfft.
im turning 25 next month. not sure if I have mood for celebration.

frankly, I hate my birthday. cos my birthday never fails to upset me.. every birthday. :)

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if only life is that easy,
everything is all clearly lined up for u.
u can see that what will happens if u choose a or b
u can see ur fate
u understand what i'm trying to say right?

anyways, job hunting sucks big time. they never get back to you at all!
never..
I envy those who got job interviews easily n change job with no difficulty at all. how the hell they do that??
annoying much

ohhh btw, my parents will have the last say whether should I take up the job offer or not.
hmmm

yes. it's tt troublesome.

this week will b a freaking long weekend.
friday will b yantao's birthday
saturday will b wak's engagement
sunday will b family gathering at nenek's place
so, it is only right for u to starve till friday!
trust me...
hahahahaha

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as usual, gonna spend my vdae ermm alone? lol
anyways I normally celebrate with friends. heh. so yar...

btw I stopped hoping.
yup yup. officially didn't text him since monday [07/02]
it's not tt difficult. just have to discipline one's self n bring ur ego self on board. anyways, I realised tt I no longer have tt feelings anymore. surprisingly it's gone. hmmm weird but true.

Dearest Hair,
pls b gd n grow faster k? so I can win the bet n ave a trim asap. I love u very much. please b kind.
tyvm.

love,
bitchy


no luck in work again. haiz.

so many plans in mind.
everybody is slowly changing.
we r all growing up.


Dear Keeyu
stop hoping. just stop. don't u get it? love will nvr b by ur side. u will have to sacrifice ur friends in order to have a bf. surely u don't wanna do tt right? tt will nvr happen so just stop dreaming n face reality. u will never fall in love ever again.
love,
me

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Just check what YEAR 2011 holds for me!!
 
This New Year 2011 starts for you with good news. Some of the Taurus zodiac sign born can expect a promotion or betterment could come as a gift. You'll be able to earn much this year. Long trips will be less while short journeys could be many. Askganesha Astrologer predicts that new contacts will be made which will prove to be useful throughout the year 2011. Taurus sun sign born would display courageous behavior at the right time. Astrologer says that ego problems might creep in with your friend or relatives. Most of your ambitious plans are likely to be executed. Your image will enhance and a new glow would shine. Askganesha Astrologer reminds that some of your plans may not give desired results due to unavoidable circumstances and also enemies and rivals will try to overpower you. The astrologer predicts that it will be a good time for the students for they may succeed in any competition and contest. Taurus zodiac sign born are likely to be a little self-centered. You will do something spectacular to add to your position and awe. You would remain much healthy and enthusiastically devoted to your work.

Love and Relationships Horoscope Taurus 2011
Love is the essential part of life of the Taurus sun sign born. The Askganesha Astrologer predicts that the year 2011 is a great year for developing friendships and put companionship and emotional compatibility before sexual chemistry. Taurus zodiac sign born will have more stability and less trouble in their love and sex life. Those already in a relationship should still enjoy the intimate side of your relationship. Taurus sun sign born’s family members might oppose decision of remarriage or a new relationship. A cautious approach will benefit you on the love front. Askganesha Astrologer suggests that if a down-to-earth approach is kept in romance it is likely to bring successful results. Try to change your behavior to maintain harmony in the relationship. You must share with your partner all your inner feelings and desire for seeking spiritual enlightenment. Astrologer predicts that there are some chances to have misunderstandings with your partner, it might surface during July and September. Therefore, try to handle your relationship with love and care. Remember every person couldn't be your friend, so better judge accordingly. Extremely supportive partner would help in withering away your troubles. Taurus zodiac sign born are advised to avoid confrontation with partner at romantic front. In the month of September and December emotionally you will not be very stable, therefore be cautious how you behave and say things in front of others. If you are in falling in deep love with your friend then there will be good chance to marry him/her in the month of October and November. If Taurus sun sign born are not happy in their personal life, then problems may seem especially pressing at this time. So try to care your partner in this year 2011

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I replied his text...
only to realise that i'm not suppose to when it has been sent.

I answered his call...
n felt guilty that I talk to him n feeling happy.

not trying hard enough.. try harder Q!!

this sucks!

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