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  • GRANDMA?

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GRANDMA?

4.1 out of 5 stars (186)

GERIATRIC ZOMBIES!!!

Randall just wanted to have a fun summer vacation with his family, visiting Grandma at her cabin on a lake in the Wisconsin Northwoods.

Then everything went horribly wrong.

Join fifteen-year-old Randall, and his younger brother Josh, as they fight for their lives on the eve of an elderly undead apocalypse.

GRANDMA? - The Complete Novel
She won't bake you cookies...

Forget everything you've ever read about zombies. But that's probably impossible, because you know you've read a lot. So maybe just put aside your preconceptions, because this living dead epic will make you remember why you fell in love with this genre in the first place. Part scary, part funny, this is a living dead Armageddon like you've never seen before.

This book is over 60,000 words long. It also includes a Q&A with the authors on the creation of the novel.

If you are a more sensitive (or adventurous) reader, this handy scale rates specific categories from 1 (lowest) to 10 (highest) to give you some idea if this is your kind of book.

GRANDMA?
Bad Language - 4
Scary - 6
Violent - 6
Funny - 8
Sexy - 2

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Editorial Reviews

Review


What They're Saying About Joe Konrath's Writing

"Excellent smart-mouth thrills... my advice: Take a long sip."- Lee Child, author of Blue Moon

"Constant thrills and chills." - Heather Graham, author of The Seekers

"Snappy dialogue. Powerful action. A fabulous character to spend time with." - David Morrell, author of First Blood

"If the Grim Reaper has a sense of humor, he reads JA Konrath."- William Kent Krueger, author of This Tender Land

"It's funny and scary, just like real life."- James O. Born, author of Shock Wave

"Laugh-out-loud funny... even when read sober."- PJ Parrish, author of The Killing Song

"I haven't actually read this book." - Dave Barry, author of Tricky Business

"Fast-paced...(a) cross between Carl Hiaasen and Thomas Harris."- Publishers Weekly

"Engaging... full of humor... fans of Janet Evanovich will like this."- Library Journal

"Pithy banter... it's like a Monty Python rendition of a crime novel."- The Courier

"Put me down for another round of Lieutenant Jack Daniels." - Andrew Vachss, author of Another Life

"A literary cocktail that'll knock you off your chair." - Ridley Pearson, author of White Bone

From the Author

JA KONRATH BIBLIOGRAPHY

For the completists, or those with a bit of obsessive/compulsiveness, or the folks that just like my stuff and want to know how it all connects, I have a lot of recurring characters and intertwined series. If you need to know the best reading order, or how to make sure you haven't missed anything, check out the bibliography page on my website. You can also visit there to see when a new title will be released.

If you're just looking for a quick checklist, here are my main series.

These do not have to be read in any particular order, but I encourage you to read them all.

JACK DANIELS THRILLERS
#1-Whiskey Sour
#2-Bloody Mary
#3-Rusty Nail
#4-Dirty Martini
#5-Shot Of Tequila
#6-Fuzzy Navel
#7-Cherry Bomb
#8-Dead On My Feet
#9-Serial Killers Uncut (with Blake Crouch)
#10-Shaken
#11-Stirred (with Blake Crouch)
#12-Dying Breath
#13-Everybody Dies
#14-Rum Runner
#15-Last Call
#16-White Russian
#17-Shot Girl
#18-Chaser
#19-Old Fashioned
#20-Bite Force
#21-Jack Rose
#22-Witch Brew
Bonus #2.5-Lady 52 (with Jude Hardin)
Jack Daniels Stories Vol. 1 (Novella Collection)
Jack Daniels Stories Vol. 2 (Novella Collection)
Jack Daniels Stories Vol. 3 (Novella Collection)
Jack Daniels Stories Vol. 4 (Novella Collection)
Banana Hammock (Novella Collection)

THE KONRATH DARK THRILLER COLLECTIVE
#1-The List
#2-Origin
#3-Afraid
#4-Trapped
#5-Endurance
#6-Haunted House
#7-Webcam
#8-Disturb
#9-What Happened To Lori
#10-The Nine
#11-Second Coming
#12-Close Your Eyes
Bonus #4.5-Holes in the Ground (with Iain Rob Wright)
Bonus #5.5-Draculas (with Blake Crouch, Jeff Strand, F. Paul Wilson)
Bonus #6.5-Grandma? (with Talon Konrath)

TIMECASTER
#1-Timecaster
#2-Timecaster Supersymmetry
#3-Timecaster Steampunk

CODENAME: CHANDLER (with Ann Voss Peterson)
#1-Flee
#2-Spree
#3-Three
#4-Hit
#5-Exposed
#6-Naughty
#7-Fix (with F. Paul Wilson)
#8-Rescue
#9-Free

STOP A MURDER PUZZLE BOOKS
#1-How: Puzzles 1-12
#2-Where: Puzzles 13-24
#3-Why: Puzzles 25-36
#4-Who: Puzzles 37-48
#5-When: Puzzles 49-60
#6-Answers
Stop A Murder Complete Cases (Book 1-5)

MISCELLANEOUS
65 Proof - Collected Short Stories
The Globs Of Use-A-Lot 3 (With Dan Maderak)

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B01MS2P80T
  • Accessibility ‏ : ‎ Learn more
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ January 16, 2017
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 453 KB
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 246 pages
  • Page Flip ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Best Sellers Rank: #1,576,878 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.1 out of 5 stars (186)

About the authors

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Customer reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars
186 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book thoroughly entertaining with a dark and twisted sense of humor, and one customer notes it's a fun read for all ages. Moreover, they appreciate the well-developed characters and consider it not your typical horror book. However, the content receives mixed reactions, with some customers describing it as pretty idiotic.
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28 customers mention enjoyable, 26 positive, 2 negative
Customers find the book thoroughly entertaining, with one mentioning it's a fun read for all ages.
Actually this was a fun read. Totally not believable, but I enjoyed the adult characters and the kids. Not all elderly people have dentures, though.Read more
Absolutely loved it! It was very scary, riveting and yet very funny at times. I've thoroughly enjoyed everything written by Mr Konrath....Read more
Great character development and an awesome plot. It kept me reading when I should have been doing other stuff. Keep writing!!!Read more
It was an enjoyable read.Read more
20 customers mention humor, 18 positive, 2 negative
Customers enjoy the book's humor, finding it hilarious and fun, with one customer noting its dark and twisted sense of humor.
This book was hilarious and funny at the same time. If you like zombies this is the book to read!Read more
Hilarious, spoofy (is that a real word ?), rip roaring ride across the lake,outrageous and thoroughly entertaining!...Read more
I found myself laughing out loud while reading GRANDMA? - Attack of the Geriatric Zombies!: The Novel....Read more
This book is full of humor (some gross) and zombies. It's been quite awhile since I've enjoyed a story as much as this one!...Read more
8 customers mention plot, 6 positive, 2 negative
Customers enjoy the plot of the book, with one mentioning that it moves along quickly.
Loved this story. Great job Talon coming up with the idea of the 2 brothers and their grandma zombie....Read more
...But if they are, this is a YA take on the genre with an interesting premise: only the elderly become reanimated flesh eaters....Read more
...Reality is stretched somewhat, but it's a zombie book. Didn't care for the ending, but others may. Fine effort by an excellent author and his son....Read more
...Hilarity ensues The characters were all distinct and the story moved along quickly. Fans of What We Do in the Shadows are going to love this!Read more
6 customers mention character development, 6 positive, 0 negative
Customers appreciate the character development in the book.
Plenty of action with well developed characters. Reality is stretched somewhat, but it's a zombie book. Didn't care for the ending, but others may....Read more
Great character development and an awesome plot. It kept me reading when I should have been doing other stuff. Keep writing!!!Read more
...Randall and Josh are brothers and they are very likable characters. I was pulling for them the whole time....Read more
...Hilarity ensues The characters were all distinct and the story moved along quickly. Fans of What We Do in the Shadows are going to love this!Read more
6 customers mention horror, 6 positive, 0 negative
Customers find this horror book to be not typical in its approach, with some describing it as very scary, and one customer noting its gory content.
...This was gory and also funny. I thought the authors did a great job on this book.Read more
...The book is fast moving ,gory and very zombie. Characters are characters ....Read more
...It is a book to begin the horror genre. Talon keep up the good work.Read more
Not scary like I thought it would beRead more
6 customers mention content, 2 positive, 4 negative
Customers have mixed opinions about the book's content, with some finding it silly while others describe it as pretty idiotic.
So far I'm not crazy about the book. I think it is pretty dumb. I don't know if I will even finish it.Read more
This is a fun, silly, entertaining read. It's like a terrible B-movie in book form, written for older kids. It's good.Read more
Not used to Konrath's books being so silly. You can tell this was written (all or in part) by someone very young. A little disappointed....Read more
I am not sure it is was supposed to be funny or clever or just really dumb, but I wish I hadn't bought it....Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • 5 out of 5 stars
    Grandma !
    Reviewed in the United States on May 16, 2017
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    Hilarious, spoofy (is that a real word ?), rip roaring ride across the lake,outrageous and thoroughly entertaining! Another Konrath conquest to be sure. Thanks to Talon (cool name by the by) for the bizarre and ultimately success idea !!! J.A. : I've been a fan for several years now and am continually surprised /amused/grossed out by your work.. ..

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  • 4 out of 5 stars
    Stupid zombie fun
    Reviewed in the United States on May 23, 2017
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    Ok, yes, if you really want to be a tool and be that one person who has to complain about how stupid this book is, go ahead, and vent, because, honestly, I'll agree with you. Yes, Grandma? is dumb, stupid, and totally ridiculous. Yes, it lacks any kind of literary merit, originality, or even much in the way of writing skill. Yes, I know its about ambulatory, intelligent, geriatric zombies. I get it. its pretty idiotic and juvenile.

    But you know what? I'm totally ok with that because while I do agree that Grandma? was far, far, far, away from any kind of deep, meaningful or insiteful reading, I sure as hell had a lot of fun reading it.

    You see, in this day and age of pretentious authors who think their overwrought and unnecessary drivel of an author means something, there are still others out there who write just for the everlasting fun of it. They write because they enjoy the art of writing. They write to have fun.

    It's pretty obvious that Grandma? is just that kind of book. Konrath and his son clearly went ahead and wrote this book about old, shambling zombies because it was just a fun thing to do. Not only for the pure enjoyment, but also as an experiment in father/son bonding. Personally, I thought the book they came up with turned out great.

    It's stupid, but at least it's stupid fun.

    5 people found this helpful
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  • 3 out of 5 stars
    Solid effort!
    Reviewed in the United States on March 19, 2017
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    This was a fun diversion that didn't involve a lot of heavy lifting.

    If zombies aren't your thing, this book isn't for you. But if they are, this is a YA take on the genre with an interesting premise: only the elderly become reanimated flesh eaters. There are some nice references to classic zombie movies like "Night of the Living Dead."

    Randall and Josh are brothers and they are very likable characters. I was pulling for them the whole time.

    There is a dark and twisted sense of humor here. This bit made me laugh out loud:

    "Papa got the cancer, and the doctor removed his tongue and lower jaw. He died not long after, not from cancer, but of malnutrition, because he could only chew if he placed food on the edge of a table and pounded his upper teeth down on it."

    Is it bad that I laughed at that? Maybe. But I did laugh.

    This is not for everyone but it is a solid effort from Talon Konrath and his dad, Joe.

    2 people found this helpful
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  • 5 out of 5 stars
    Best Zombie Collaboration Ever
    Reviewed in the United States on June 26, 2020
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    For various reasons, I have needed comfort books. Mr. Konrath's books fit that need perfectly. This was a new one since I checked in, loved the cover, and then loved the book.

    The setting is idyllic. Parents, two boys, and one Grandma staying at a lake cabin. Lots of fishing, cookie baking, and today, the parents are off on a walk/hike. Grandma is gardening, boys doing boy stuff.

    On another part of the lake, a self-styled inventor has a surprise for his best friend forever. At least 60 years. Only it is the inventor who is surprised.

    And then something happens to Grandma.

    If you have ever read a Konrath the Elder book, especially any with Harry McGlade in it, and gone on to read another will be pleased the Konrath the Younger is developing his own writing chops.

    Thank goodness it isn't a graphic novel. I would have missed a delightful story.

    Even if you believe, as I did, you simply cannot read another zombie book, let this be your last. It is worth it.

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  • 5 out of 5 stars
    Not your typical horror book!
    Reviewed in the United States on May 29, 2020
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    This book is full of humor (some gross) and zombies. It's been quite awhile since I've enjoyed a story as much as this one! Read carefully so you don't miss any of the innuendo or the outright groaners!

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  • 4 out of 5 stars
    Grandma is a gem!
    Reviewed in the United States on August 10, 2020
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    I am so happy that this grandma was not my grandma. The book is fast moving ,gory and very zombie. Characters are characters . I would have given it a five star but is reserved for Origins another great book..

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  • 5 out of 5 stars
    Hysterical, fun read!
    Reviewed in the United States on February 23, 2019
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    Geriatric zombies, a man who calls himself Einstein who invents useless (and usually dangerous) items, such as a Boomerang Hammer (for hammering around corners, of course!), and two brothers, the younger of which is smarter than the rest of the characters...put all this together and you have a combo of The Walking Dead meets the Big Bang Theory. Fun read for all ages, and I hope there is a sequel, or a movie of this!

    3 people found this helpful
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  • 3 out of 5 stars
    Creepy and Funny
    Reviewed in the United States on April 1, 2019
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    This was about zombies and the two boys, Randall and Josh that were fighting for their lives while everyone was trying to eat them. I liked Einstein, a funny old geezer that thought he was a genius. This was gory and also funny. I thought the authors did a great job on this book.

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Top reviews from other countries

  • 4 out of 5 stars
    Good
    Reviewed in Canada on December 25, 2020
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    Hey! That was a fun story. I'm happy I wasn't convinced by some of the bad reviews.

    There's even one who complained about the zombies speaking... That he never saw that... Common! Haven't you heard about Return of the Living Dead!?

    Some complained about the humour, too. Have you heard about absurd and second degree...? You really shouldn't post bad review when you don't know what you're talking about.

    Artists works really hard to provide you with entertainment. You should be grateful. I NEVER review a book under 4 stars, and when I do a critique, it's always constructive. Or I specify if it's not my usual type of story. When I don't like the book, I just close it.

    Complaining about books that you paid peanuts, really!? That's kind of cheap.

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  • 5 out of 5 stars
    funny, charming
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 8, 2017
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    I found it horrfying, funny, charming, sadly however I did finish it in a weekend only because I just couldn't put it down, but since reading it I have avoided my grandmother, maybe I should give her a ring...

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  • 2 out of 5 stars
    Two Stars
    Reviewed in Canada on May 28, 2017
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    It was well written, however, it's the first time I've ever heard of talking zombies in any book or tv. I know it's fiction but really, talking zombies.

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  • 2 out of 5 stars
    A boring read
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 23, 2017
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    This book unfortunately is really bad. It sounded like a good premise but it has failed to deliver. The plot never seems to get going and the fact it's written by several people's perspectives really let's it down, it just doesn't feel natural for the reader.

    It's not all bad though, as I said it showed real potential and in places it really meets that potential in places.

    I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone, it's a boring read to be frank. I only gave it two stars because it had sections where it showed promise.

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