Margaret's love balloon

Today Margaret got out of school early for some random reason, so I took the kids down to swim in the in-laws pool. Much fun and exercise was had by them. I mostly sat on the steps and wished I was taking a nap, but I had a nice visit and didn't have to make dinner.

On the way home, I fully expected the kids to fall asleep, so I was listening to Fresh Air on the radio, which happened to feature an interview with a journalist about the proposed law in Uganda to execute homosexuals. At some point in the program, Margaret asked, "Mom, what does 'gay' mean?" I told her that it meant someone who loved or wanted to marry someone of the same gender. I also said that there is a country where they want to kill people for being gay, and I asked her what she thought of that. I opted to not give my opinion first, which I do far too often. She responded with something like, "Whatever, they're not wackos or anything. They just want to love someone! What's wrong with that?" I told her I agreed with her, but a lot of people thought that being gay was a sin, but most people did not want to kill gay people.

The backstory is that her grandparents have just left their church because of a new guideline allowing congregations to vote on whether or not they wanted a gay pastor (meaning, the church can't just send a gay pastor if a congregation doesn't want it, but if a congregation wants to accept a gay pastor, they can). Their congregation was incredibly conservative and in no way in danger of ever electing a gay pastor, but the principle of the issue made them feel they had to leave. On several occasions, my mother in law tried to engage me in a biblical discussion of why she was right, and I just opted to not go there, in the interest of family harmony. They know where Wes and I stand, and I have told her several times, "you know I disagree with you, and no bible quotes are going to change my mind." We don't discuss the issue for the most part, and never in front of the kids, so our discussions about it have generally been about the process - whether the old church would leave the synod (they didn't) and which church they would join (they are joining with other former members to form a new congregation).

Margaret spent the entire rest of the trip, probably 30 minutes, talking about how God wants us to love each other, so there should be more love in the world, not less. She wants there to be a giant balloon in the sky filled with love and we all need to love more to fill it up. We don't want the hate balloon to get fuller than the love balloon, because when someone kills someone else, their family and friends want to kill that person, and it just never stops. People should be able to love who they want, if they are gay or straight or black or white or whatever.

I swear, it was like my entire life as a parent to this point was completely justified in that discussion. I'm really proud of her.

Henry's Spacemaster

Often, when I tell Henry not do to something, he responds with, "Wew, my Spacemaster told me I have to do it." I don't know much about this Spacemaster, but he seems to have a lot of rules for Henry's daily activities. This morning, Henry told me that the other spacemen were saying that he wasn't a very good spaceman, and not very smart. Margaret launched into a long discussion she claims to have had with these supposed spacemen, who turned out to be named Mike, John and Mr. Duck. And they are all ducks. So while they seem to be pretty good at being ducks, they are pretty terrible at being spacemen. At first, Henry said the bad spacemen had gotten hold of his brain and made him do the wrong things. Henry insisted his Spacemaster was very nice, and sorted out the whole thing with a nice phone call. He tried calling on the real phone, but got a message that his call could not be completed. Luckily, he was able to get through with his Lightning McQueen car, which also doubles as a car phone. I guess it's all ok now.

books

I've been reading a LOT lately. I finished 3 books in the last month. THREE!! I don't think I've done that much reading for pleasure since before kids and grad school, so a decade ago. I read a really interesting book called For Women Only: What you need to know about the inner lives of men by Shaunti Feldhahn. It was pretty interesting. It had a lot of discussion about religion and God, but I skimmed that stuff and the basic info about how men are wired was pretty interesting.

At the beach, I finished a paperbook someone had given me called Still Life by Joy Fielding. About a third of the way through, I really just wanted it to be over, so instead of just jumping ahead, I read it really fast so I could be done. I wasn't that into it, but it was ok.

The third book was The Believers by Zoe Heller. Like Still Life, it was about someone in a coma (how I ended up with 2 books about people in comas, I'll never know). It was recommended on Meghan Daum's blog, and since I've enjoyed reading her writing over the years, I checked it out from the library. I definitely enjoyed it, and was a bit sad when it was over. I almost missed the characters when they were gone.

On the recommendation from a friend, I'm now reading Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates. It's so well-written, I can just feel myself immersed in the lives of the characters. I think I'm about to get to the dramatic turning point. Don't tell me what happens!

A friend invited me to join her book club, so I think I'll do that too. I really do love to read, but life has been getting in the way. No more!!

Summer

On the continuing list of things going wrong with our house, a few months ago during a big rainstorm, we sprung a leak right outside the laundry room. So that means a roof leak. Since so much drywall in and around the laundry room needed to be replaced, we decided we would make it into a laundry room remodel. We don't actually have the money for this, but that's what home equity lines of credit are for, right?

So we ended up getting a new hot water heater, this time a tankless because it would create a ton of extra space in the laundry room. We're going to have someone else do the roof, and then Wes will tear out all of the drywall and build me some shelves and cabinets so it will be a real laundry room with a pantry!! Yay! The only problem of course is that he has hardly any free time, so I expect this project to be done no less than a year from now. But someday, I look forward to having a pantry so that I can move the tower of cereal boxes out of the kitchen. If we ever have an earthquake, my kitchen will be flooded with cereal.

Got back from our beach vacation last week. We went to the Gulf coast, and saw tarballs beginning on day 3. It wasn't really a huge deal because they cleaned up the beach every day so the tar was gone by morning (or at least it was gone by the time I made my way out to the beach). I always wish the beach vacation was longer. I don't really relax until day 5 and then it's time to start thinking about packing up and heading home. We do vacation with some awesome friends, and I always miss them when I get home, although it's much more socializing than I'm used to. It takes me a full week to recover from the trip, all the packing and unpacking, and getting back into a groove. Now I'm back to tackling the giant pile of paper I've been avoiding for a month. So why am I on LJ??? ;)

Last night I had some neighbors over for happy hour. We had a lovely time chatting, and it just makes me glad to live here. I honestly don't know why I don't spend more time with these women. Between vacation and the heat, I was pretty much a hermit last month. I need to change that.

The kids cracked me up last night. My neighbor's kids play really well with mine, so she left them here for awhile after she left to go eat dinner. The boys were playing with blocks and the girls were mostly building up the drama that the boys had hit them with something earlier in the evening (what do you expect with 4-year-olds?). At some point, the boys were building "traps" for the girls, and the neighbor boy explained in detail that his was a bomb. Henry on the other hand was building a robot. He seemed completely uninterested in amping up the violence. I swear he's wired just like his dad.

for reference - broken stuff

For reference, a list of things we have had to repair or replace this year. Like, since January 1, 2010.

Computer - old one was 7 years old and not really capable of handling our new habit of watching tv online. We had saved up half a year's worth of DISH payments (canceled last year) for this, so we were prepared.

Oven - stopped heating up. I kinda need an oven.

Kitchen faucet - Wes had fixed it multiple times, and it was leaking again. This time, it was leaking a LOT and costing us a fortune in very expensive water.

Car - replaced the master and slave clutch cylinders. It's got 140,000 miles so not terribly surprising. Also got a nice fat list of things that need to be fixed soon, so we're not done with that.

Washing machine - died. Nice repairman diagnosed it over the phone rather than charging me to come over and tell me it was dead. Alas, we had an attached W/D unit, so we also had to get a dryer, because we didn't have room to put a washer in the room next to a unit that had only a dryer. We bought separate units this time that will stack, but can be replaced separately.

Good news is that we got the W/D at a good price and are eligible for multiple rebates because they are Energy Star appliances. Also good is that we got our tax refund just in time to get the car fixed and the W/D. Sadly, not enough money seems left to get a new hot water heater, which I'm pretty sure is going to go next (it's 12 years old). And you know, the car still needs more stuff.

Being a grown up stinks sometimes.

Sunny Saturday

This morning, I woke up first at 6 am, feeling damp. Henry was beside me and had apparently wet my bed. I opted to just lie there, because I really didn't want to rouse Wes and change our sheets in the wee hours on a Saturday, when I could be sleeping. The next thing I knew, it was 7 and Margaret wanted to watch tv. Henry joined her and I went right back to sleep. I dreamed about shopping, paying too much for unflattering photographs of Margaret at a mall, and then being in the hospital (all apparently in the same day in my dream). I have no idea why I was in the hospital, because I didn't seem ill, and the only medicine they were giving me was Bayer and Tylenol. Weird. I then woke up to the phone, which was apparently my mom (Wes answered). It was 10 am. TEN!! I got to sleep until ten! Honestly, if the phone hadn't woken me, I would have slept longer.

We went to Turner Field after lunch for Braves Open House, and we got to run the bases. Afterwards, we bought a new faucet at Home Depot to replace the one that is leaking like crazy. I swear I can hear money falling from that faucet every time it drips. Then Wes mowed while I got the garden ready for planting. Henry and I bought plants and seeds at Pike Nurseries yesterday. I only had time to rake up the old leaves, shovel some new compost and soil into the garden before it was time for Game Night. Wes has his friends over once a month to play video games and drink beer, and usually wives and kids will come as well. Tonight was Debbie and Emilia joined us, and we ate early enough that there was time to play after dinner.

The kids played in the yard while Debbie and I chatted, and it occurred to me that the weather was nice today, but tomorrow it would rain, so I should just plant the stuff I had. So while we talked, I put in two strawberry plants, 3 tomato plants, bean seeds, pumpkin seeds, basil seeds, and spinach seeds. It might be too early for the pumpkin and the beans, since we aren't past the last frost date, yet, but I have more seeds I can plant if it does freeze again. Otherwise, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Debbie helped me think about where to put the containers of other stuff. I want to place containers of tomatoes, strawberries and beans in various places around the yard to see where the best sun is. Because while my garden is in a relatively convenient location, it really doesn't get enough sun. I figure I can test the locations by container gardening, and Wes said he would build a new box for me in a new location if I found one that might work. I hate to steal prime real estate from OD for ball throwing, but I would like a sunny garden that gave more than 3 tomatoes. Already my container blueberry bushes are budding, and I have high hopes for those. So far, I've had greater yields each year, so it's a bit of a learning experience for me.

and because I need more to think about

I want someone to open a wine bar/coffee shop/knitting store in my neighborhood. There's a coffee shop/wine bar in a strip mall that has closed recently, but would be a perfect location. I keep daydreaming of the many activities it could host: moms knitting morning (with childcare!), wine and knit nights, kids classes, etc. I don't really want to run it, but I want someone else to.

SAHM stuff

I'm thinking of ditching the substitute gig next year and seeing if I can find some kids to watch after school for money instead.

Pros:
- stop paying someone else to watch my kids after school
- guaranteed money each week to pay off my credit cards instead of the sporadic sub calls
- no gas to get to work (I currently drive 20 miles each way to sub)
- no disrespectful 7th graders
- leaves my days open to volunteer at school or plan the ICAN conference.

Cons:
- possibly losing my school contacts? Would one year away do that? What about my resume?
- what if I hate the kids?
- will miss out on a few dinners with the in-laws, no doubt (about 2x a year, some relatives visit my in-laws for a few days only on the weekdays and we usually go down to visit and have dinner one of the nights they are in town...I couldn't drive an hour for dinner if I had kids at my house until 6).

Friday

Yesterday, I was making dinner and got out a chunk of ginger to grate into the sauce (Thai coconut chicken!). Henry wanted to watch, and he climbed up on the chair to watch and said, "oh, you're just getting the ginger." I cannot remember ever grating ginger in front of him, or even showing him fresh ginger. MAYBE he was with me when I bought it? But seriously, how on earth is he so blase about it, "oh, it's just ginger" as if I do this every day. Usually I use ground ginger from a can, so I can't imagine how he got so smart.

The weather was gorgeous today. And I didn't feel like I had been run over like a truck, which is how I felt yesterday. Allergies? Cold? Combination of the two? I don't know. But I was starting to miss the freezing cold weather we had this year. But today I felt good. Good enough to go on Margaret's field trip to the Botanical Gardens, clean the bathroom, do some laundry, work out to Jillian Michaels, and have a dance party with the kids after that. So yeah, I feel better. Yesterday I took a nap and watched The Office, spent some time on Facebook, and that's pretty much all. It's amazing what a difference a headache can make.

Kids' favorite songs during Dance Party? C&C Music Factory's Gonna Make You Sweat, and the Numa Numa song of course.

At the Botanical Gardens today I was reminded of my inability to differentiate boys from each other. I had 5 kids in my charge, 2 of whom were my own children, and 2 other kids, and one kid I kept calling him a totally different kid's name. I swear, I cannot tell boys apart. What is wrong with me? Luckily, I seem to be able to distinguish my kid from all other boys. So far.
Margaret came home with her report card, a flyer for an upcoming citywide event (featuring the Mayor) to combat childhood obesity, and another flyer advertising a free Krispy Kreme donut for every A on your report card. Am I the only one who sees the irony in this? Honestly, WHY is the school advertising for Krispy Kreme? And why must they reward kids with food (and junk food at that) for good grades? I think I'm going to write an email to the principal. The juxtaposition of the two flyers was too much for me.

Facebook

Facebook seems to have stolen me from the internet, but now I have so many "friends" on FB that I don't feel safe posting anything real there. *sigh* So here I am again. I really want to make myself write more often, because I'm struck at how quickly my kids are growing up and I'll have no record of these days unless I write them down. The good, the bad and the ugly. I wish I had been doing it more.

I spend LOTS of time doing ICAN work. I spent this last weekend in St. Louis with the rest of the board of directors at a strategic planning retreat. The hotel is the same as the one we'll be at for the conference next year, and it was super nice. Like, so nice that the ICANers coming to the conference are going to be scared. But the staff was soooo accommodating, friendly and completely unbothered by all of the kids we had with us. I think we might have scared the waiter who was serving our meal when I talked about my time as a peer sex educator in college and mentioned how many college women still thought that douching with Coke was a good birth control method. Oooops!

Kida are in school right now. I have a cold or allergies. Probably both. I was hoping to substitute today, but I didn't get a call. So instead I came home and took an hour and a half nap. Still tired, still sneezing, but not as bad as before.

Still thinking about Polish food. St. Patrick's day food makes me think of my roots, and I crave pierogis.

Good Week

This week:

Henry has had much potty success. It hasn't been perfect, but I'll leave it at that. Maybe October is the only month my kids can learn to use the potty.

After 7 months of calling, arguing, asking for documentation, being told my account was in arrears, etc., the anesthesiologist from Margaret's surgery in February sent US a check for $200 (this, instead of us sending them $150 like they first said). Yippee!!!

My first week of trying couponmom.com got me 3 pairs of Playtex gloves (for washing dishes) for 50 cents each. Not bad.

I keep forgetting to call to get details, but the surgeon from the Breast Care Specialists left a message saying she was "calling to give you the good news," so my weird mammogram turned out to be nothing, just like I told her. I'm going to write her a letter telling her about the participatory medicine movement (see epatients.net) since she was pretty cool about my refusal to do a variety of things. I wish they gave people more printed info to look over, though. I got zero info about my biopsy beforehand, other than I was going to have one.

I need to get offline and start Margaret's Halloween costume.

Pre-Existing Conditions

I thought I'd share this PBS special. An online friend of mine and her family are featured in the special called Pre-Existing Conditions. Their daughter is ineligible for regular health insurance due to a pre-existing condition, so the family has to restrict their income to stay eligible for the kids to be on state health insurance. I think it's a compelling story, and since Nat is a friend of mine, I thought I'd pass it on. If you're reading this, you probably already know where I stand on healthcare reform. ;)

http://www.pbs.org/now/shows/health-care-reform/index.html

maureen

Henry and I sang a lot yesterday to The Pixies and The Clash. It is starting to occur to me that as my kids grow up, Margaret and I will be able to bond over movies and Henry and I can bond over music. I'm sure they will both think I'm a super nerd, but it's a start.

Margaret got a "Hooray" letter home from school, saying what great behavior she's had. I'm not one bit surprised, but I hope it stays that way once she's comfortable enough to talk in class. ; )

I went to the challenge (gifted) program meeting at M's school yesterday to find out about it. Her pre-k teachers kept telling me to make sure to let her teacher know that she's really smart, because she probably won't talk at first, so they may not realize that she's getting everything right away. The challenge program looks like so much fun, but I got really freaked out when the instructor started talking about the test scores. Apparently, everyone wants to know what scores their kid needs to get to be in the challenge program. He even mentioned that for one of the tests, you can buy a study packet. WTF!?!?! I got the impression that this was because some parents ask, because he also went into a discussion of how he also evaluates each kid individually for creativity and motivation, which are a little more flexible. I started feeling that Margaret would thrive in that class, but I was worried that the application process would be too stressful. I asked about that, saying I wanted her to love school, have fun, be challenged, etc. and I thought this might be a good way to ensure that for her, but I didn't want the process to be a stressful situation. Kindergarten should be fun, you know? I talked with the instructor on the way out, and he assured me that the way he handles the process is very low key, but some parents turn it into a social contest. Since I'm not that parent, I was reassured, and I'll probably sign her up for the testing. I told him that I had a girl who drew a picture of Cinderella looking at herself in a mirror when she was 3, which I think shows incredible creativity, and I think she would benefit from the extra challenge that the class could give her. But if she doesn't qualify, that's fine, I can find other ways of getting her the enrichment she needs. He was interested in the drawing thing, and he also said that if I send in the testing request, I can pull her from the testing at any time if I change my mind.

I got a substitute teaching job for tomorrow. yay, money!!

The face of healthcare

Sophie:
http://www.sophiejemima.blogspot.com/

Carpool

I dropped Margaret and her friend off in the carpool lane this morning, so I didn't walk her in to Kindergarten. I wanted to cry, but the grin on her face as she walked in was fabulous. I wish I'd thought to bring my camera. She looked so confident and happy. I know that part of that was that her best friend was with her (and in 3rd grade, so she knows the routine) but I was so happy for her. And sad for me. My baby is growing up. Waaahh!

Kids Game

Margaret was just telling me about the game she and Henry were playing after bedtime last night. It's called Mommy and Daddy: Mommy has a Newborn Baby with Robots Helping.

Kid Stuff

I was supposed to get the kids up early to get used to waking early for school next week, but I didn't have the heart, so they just woke up and are watching PBS. We have errands to run, so I'm going to start getting them ready in a minute. I am really going to miss summer.

I bought school supplies last week, including a new backpack and lunch bag for Margaret. They wanted her to have a full sized backpack for big library books, so it looks enormous on her. I then ordered a couple of patches to put on them so they don't get mixed up with anyone else's stuff: http://www.etsy.com/view_transaction.php?transaction_id=18205716

We got a book at the library last week that I realized I used to have as a kid. I only remembered when I started reading it. It was Old Hat, New Hat by Stan and Jan Berenstain. I had recently disparaged the Berenstain Bears books, mostly because I find many of the newer ones really preachy and annoying. But Old Hat, New Hat is fantastic! Henry can already "read" it so me, and he laughs with gusto at "silly hat." Fabulous!

Summer is too short. I'm trying to fit in all the things on our list we had hoped to do this summer. Read more. Make pretzels. Go to Macon for the day. Much of these can be done. We have 2 more weeks. Gah.

I scheduled a bunch of playdates next week because we planned to have a bunch and now there aren't many more available days. I'm such a homebody.

Summer musings

Margaret and I had a playdate with a neighbor and her entering-kindergarten daughter on Sunday, and when Wes was home with Henry, he looked away for a second, Henry wrapped a rope around his own neck and fell, leaving a nice rope burn on his throat. Luckily, he did NOT break his neck, but he does look like he was abused (he also has a large mosquito bite under one eye that makes it look like he has a black eye). We're staying home most of this week to do potty training, so I suppose that's good. And school doesn't start for another few weeks, so I'm hoping it will heal. *sigh*

The weather this week is so amazing. Yesterday the kids played outside, then we watched some videos of the moon landing, and some videos of Michael Jackson moonwalking. Then I showed them many Michael Jackson videos, and we ended up listening to LPs for the rest of the afternoon, having a dance party with MJ, The Wiz, Ghostbusters soundtrack, and various ELO soundtracks (Xanadu and Electric Dreams, thank you very much). It was 80s-alicious. No one but me seemed to want to dance, but Margaret was fascinated by MJ, insisting we watch the Thriller video several times and listening to Beat It again before bed. Apparently, she would have gotten along fabulously with my 13-year-old self.

The kids love the trapeze in the backyard. Margaret is getting scarily good at it. There is a trapeze dance studio in Athens I would love to take her to, but it's hard to get her to classes at a studio 1.5 hours away. I'm hoping they'll have a one-day workshop for kids in the fall. She definitely needs to learn some safety tips from someone other than her meddling mother.

Summer vacation is almost over, and it makes me really sad.

July update

Do all my posts start with an excuse about why I don't post more? They should.

Yesterday started out as one of those days I'm really glad to be a stay at home mom. In the exhaustion, fear of losing myself, and lack of stimulating conversation, there are bright spots. ; ) We started out walking to Waffle House with me pushing the double stroller, which is really good exercise when there are 70 pounds of kid in there. I know my kids don't really need to ride, but I don't want to try to cross the city streets without them contained, and Henry would just make me carry him home, so I brought the stroller. We had a lovely breakfast where we saw our neighbor (twice...once as we passed his house on the way there, then at WH). On the way home, we stopped to watch a digger machine digging a ditch for the water company. Then we read some books. Later I made them go to IKEA and Target because I wanted to get some big kid cups so that we can begin phasing out the sippy cups and also for a toy car for Henry to reward him for using the potty last week. Neither kid wanted to leave the house again, Henry refused to use the potty again, and they whined all the way through both stores. M did go into the Smalland play area which she has always wanted to do but was too afraid to. She's getting so brave and grown up! In general a good day, although the first part was much better.

We went to Athfest last weekend, and it was sooooo hot. I think it will be a long time before we do that again. We hardly saw any bands, Henry passed out before his lunch got to the table, and we spent a lot of time trying to escape the heat. Margaret did do some sort of big jumping ride (the kids are strapped into bungee cords and they jump on a trampoline), we ate at the Grit and we got to see the new Tate Center, so it had some good points. I miss Athens a lot, but we do have a great life here. Next year maybe I'll take them to a local festival with music, one that is in a park instead of on asphalt. Our neighborhood festival is pretty fun, but it's a lot smaller.

I'm the new Conference Director for the International Cesarean Awareness Network, which means I now officially have too much to do, hence the lack of online time. I hope I can live up to everyone's very kind expectations. I'm a little worried about it. At least I'll have 2 kids in school part time (H is going 2x a week to preschool) in the fall so I'll have a tiny bit more time. Today both kids are at the grandparents' house, so I'm filing, organizing, and finishing tasks. Time to head off to the store and to drop off some donations...

AMA proposes code for "non-compliant" patients

I know I post a lot about birth issues, but this one will absolutely affect EVEYRONE who sees a doctor, not just moms. If we refuse a recommended treatment, will we be labeled "non-compliant?" How will that affect our ability to get a new doctor? Will insurance refuse to pay for "non-compliant" patients? Maybe patients are ungrateful because they are getting substandard care?

Please, write a letter to the local AMA or medical board to protest this.

http://ican-online.org/

Summer begins

I'm still in beach withdrawal.  Last week was the first beach trip
since Margaret was born that I actually found time to relax.  It was
glorious!  I read an ENTIRE book!!  It was chick-lit, but still a
WHOLE BOOK, in 4 days!!!!  I haven't done that since my pre-kid days.
It's much easier to take them to the beach now.  Fewer diaper changes,
fewer nursing needs, no naps, less complicated snack needs, etc.  And
so many of our wonderful friends volunteer (unprovoked) to take the
kids for a few minutes.  This was the first year we went on the week of
Memorial Day instead of the week before, because of Margaret's school
schedule.  But it worked out perfectly as the week before Memorial Day,
it rained 20 inches!  We had perfectly pleasant sunshiny weather,
except for the daily afternoon thundershower when we needed to be going
in and getting dinner anyway.  It wasn't even too hot. 

So now summer has started, and we've had a slow start.  We did go to the
Botanical Garden today, which was fun, although hot.  The kids played
in the fountain a lot.  I took way too much stuff, which wore me out.
Last year I managed to streamline my stuff for outings like this, but
it's the beginning of summer and I can't remember what I was packing
last year.  I need to write it down.  Still, it seems like if I leave
something out, I'll need it.  Today I had lunch, water, towels and
water clothes for the fountain, band-aids (which came in handy when H
fell and hurt his knee), wallet, Palm (which I consulted while the kids
played) phone, ICAN cards (I try to always have some in case I need to
refer someone), diapers (still), Epi-pen.  I also had my GPS, which I
need to keep with me all the time otherwise I find myself going
somewhere new and forgetting it at home.  I think I just need a
personal butler to carry around all my stuff. 

Tomorrow we're going to the library.  Our goal this summer is to read 100 new books.

Busy Week

I had a good birthday/Mother's Day weekend. My brother and his wife took me out to dinner on Friday night, where I ate a steak, which I haven't done in probably over a year. It was probably one of the most delicious steaks ever! Then Saturday, ICAN meeting, then out to dinner and Star Trek movie with Wes. We ate yummy food and enjoyed the movie, although I certainly have issues with it. But we had fun. And on Sunday, I shooed everyone out of the house to visit Wes' mom, and I laid around all day, ate Willy's super nachos for lunch, listened to NPR podcasts and then had a massage. How's that for a 40th birthday celebration? Several hours all to myself with no deadlines, no kids, no work. I deliberately didn't check my email all weekend either. Ahhhhh....

ICAN Conference

The ICAN conference was great! I was really harried the first day, tracking down last minute stuff, running errands (since I was one of the few who knew the layout of the area) and finding volunteers. But by day 2, things had settled down and I was able to attend all the sessions. I was completely inspired by all of the speakers, and I came away with a long-term plan for our chapter. Now let's see if I can maintain this momentum. ; )

At one session, actually the chapter leader training on the morning BEFORE the actual conference started, I found myself discussing the maternal mortality rate with Maddy Oden. Maddy Oden started a foundation to educate the public on the off-label use of Cytotec after her daughter Tatia died of an amniotic fluid embolism after being induced with Cytotec for her first birth. She KNOWS the stats. She's awesome.

I heard the most amazing accounting of the research from Eugene Declerq, who pretty much debunked almost excuse we are given for why the c-section rate is so high, and he used ACTUAL RESEARCH, not anecdotes. I think I love him.

I heard from Susan Jenkins from The Big Push for Midwives who described how "personhood" laws are used against mothers who want to avoid cesareans, and I listened to it while sitting near some of our chapter's very pro-life members. I've never wanted to bring this up in our chapter, partly to avoid bringing up the issue of abortion where it doesn't belong, but also because I respect these women and their perspectives, but I was so glad to hear someone discuss it so that the issue has been raised and everyone is aware of the pitfalls of this type of legislation (of course, I also believe in a woman's right to choose, but I try to keep that out of my birthing work).

I heard from a panel about the state of VBAC and midwifery legislation, which is a pretty tense issue in many states. Without the voice of the consumer, midwives may be inclined to sacrifice VBAC, breeches and twins to the hospital in order to preserve a sort of independence in homebirth. Of course, I find this completely unacceptable, and we need to make sure our voices are heard. One thing I learned: lawmakers will look up your name when you contact them to see if you vote (they can't see who you voted for, just whether you submitted a ballot). Voting in those tiny primaries in the spring makes them sit up and take notice. VOTE!!!

I met some amazing women who have so much knowledge. I just wanted to empty their brains into mine, but instead I got their email addresses and already have had fabulous follow-up discussions.

I am so inspired by the women of ICAN who work SO HARD for no money to help improve our birth choices. I am so motivated by their dedication, even though my own birthing years are now behind me (at least, that's the plan!). ICAN has such an opportunity to be the voice of the consumer in birth, and I really want to make that happen. I want my daughter to not have to fight to get a safe birth experience.

Cold Turkey

We are trying to save money and come in under budget every month, so we canceled our Dish service today. We've been talking about it for a few months, and I was supposed to call last week, and then I forgot, and left town to visit my folks for several days, and today Wes accused me of delaying because of a fear of letting go. So I called and said to cancel immediately, and it was immediate. *sigh* We can't even watch anything on the DVR. I know I'll get used to it, but I wish I'd waited until Wes had figured out the tv-to-computer connection he had planned. Instead of watching tv right now, he's fiddling with the computer and trying to get it to show on the tv (which we've done before, but for some reason it won't work). I keep telling him to stop and deal with it tomorrow and we can watch something on my laptop, but that's not who he is.

I already miss my DVR. But if we save our money from paying for the DISH for a few months, then we'll be able to afford to pay for a fancy TiVO DVR that will work with our regular antenna. It's just sad right now. I'm sure I'll be even sadder in the morning when the kids ask to watch the Backyardigans and all I have to offer is PBS and Thomas the Train. Luckily, we can get kids tv shows on Netflix. But....*sigh*.

Weird Dog

We're dogsitting for our friend, and Isabel (the visiting dog) is used to sleeping on the furniture, which is verboten in our house. Our dog Lucy isn't really a fan of Isabel, because Isabel takes over Lucy's position as top dog when she visits. Last night, Lucy woke me up to go outside at around midnight. Then at around 2, she woke me up again, but instead of leading me to the back door to go out, she just stood in the living room. It took me a minute to realize that Isabel was sleeping on the couch instead of on her dog bed on the floor. I told her to get off and went back to bed. Then, an hour later, Lucy did the same thing, and Isabel was again sleeping on the couch. Essentially, Lucy woke me up multiple times last night to tattle on Isabel. She's a weird dog. How does one stop a dog from tattling? I can't seem to stop my 5-year-old from tattling, so what chance do I have with a dog who (presumably) has no language?

My Breast Health

Now that my days as a 39-year-old are numbered, I was a good girl and got my baseline screening mammogram last month. Oddly, none of the paperwork asked me if I was currently breastfeeding, only if I had *ever* breastfed. During the screening, the tech had to keep coming back for more images, because the radiologist couldn't get a good look at my breasts, because they are dense, because I'm young, and breastfeeding. They even had me do an ultrasound of one breast because they just couldn't get a look at it.

A week later, my dr. called me and said that there was one spot they were concerned about, mostly because they really just didn't know what it was. So I had to go to a breast specialist this morning. I had to be there at 6 am (yes, that's right, 6 AM!) to get several more mammogram films, including one that involved twisting my breast on the plate and smooshing it with the plastic tray. While the normal mammogram wasn't really a problem, the twisty ones were quite unpleasant. Luckily, they were brief. In between getting more views, there was a lot of waiting while the radiologist and the doctor reviewed the films and decided what to do next. There was another ultrasound, more films, etc. for 3.5 hours, and then I was ushered in to the doctor's office to wait for her (another 30 minutes). I reminded her that I've been breastfeeding with only a brief break since 2003 (which she said made her job harder, but then she covered by saying "but it's absolutely the healthiest thing for you and the baby!" ). I did find it weird that breastfeeding does make it more difficult to read the mammograms but they don't ask about it more.

Ultimately, they decided that it was nothing (because the weird spot got flattened out during the twisty mammogram, so not so weird) but that I should come back for another screening in 6 months. I hope they will then decide that whatever it is is just a normal part of my breast and I can go to a more normal schedule.

With all the waiting, I did manage to read an entire book from beginning to end (albeit a short one: Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons), organize my to-do list, wrote 2 cards, and started a knitting project. Thanks to my friend Elaine for warning me about the long wait.

So I don't seem to have breast cancer, but just some lumpy weird breast tissue.

Busy weekend and funny Henryism

Crazy busy weekend. Thursday, Henry found my DVD of Star Wars and insisted that we watch it. I have been holding out on watching it with the kids, because, you know, it's kinda violent, and Darth Vader is kinda scary. But he wouldn't give it up, and since SW is my favorite movie of all time, I am weak. So we decided to have movie night on Friday and watch Star Wars. But first, I picked Margaret up from school and we all went to the zoo to enjoy the fabulous weather. We got to see the new baby panda (Cute!) and enjoyed the petting zoo and pretzels. Friday afternoon, I decided we also needed to see the circus before it left town, so I bought tickets for Saturday. By the time we got home from the zoo, I spiked a fever. So I spent movie night on the couch, shivering under a blanket, watching Star Wars with my kids. There was a lot of questioning, which drove Wes crazy, but less than I expected. Luckily, I know all the dialogue.

The next morning, I had an ICAN meeting, and made it, with the help of some ibuprofen. I was feverish again when it wore off, but more ibuprofen helped me get through the circus, which was a world of fun. I'm not sure who loved it more, the kids or me. It was great fun, with trapeze artists, a tightrope walker, and a guy who balanced urns on his head. I LOVED it.

I spent the whole night feverish, and hardly slept between 3 and 5 for some reason, so I bailed out on Sunday School this morning and just sent the project in with Wes (I had already warned my co-teacher that this might happen). I'm really weak and tired now, but not feverish, so maybe it's over? My throat is killing me. I'm assuming it's the flu, since Margaret actually tested positive for flu earlier this week and had essentially the same thing: fever. So anyway, I'm still in my pajamas, and Wes is doing most of the heavy kid duty today, although I just watched Lost and Shaun the Sheep with them. Yeah, they probably shouldn't watch Lost, but since there was really no way of them understanding what was going on, I decided I probably didn't care today. Good grief, I barely understand what's going on on Lost. Margaret kept asking what was happening and I told her there was no way I could answer that.

I need to do the neighborhood newsletter today, which I needed to do Friday but got sick before I could do it. Our neighborhood president just called to say he needed to add something to it, so I guess it's good that I didn't finish it yet. I need to do less volunteering.

Here's something funny that Henry said last month, after his 3-year doctor's appointment. There was much crying and drama over getting a shot, and then getting blood drawn from his finger for the lead and iron testing, so lots of tears, screaming, etc. But when he told Margaret about it later, he said, "They poked me, and then we goed." At least it's good to know all the crying wasn't traumatic in the long term! And hey, there was a lollipop at the end! It still cracks me up to think of it.

Inauguration

My good friend Gretchen came over with her boys to watch the inauguration with us, and Margaret stayed home from school. There were several moments when we couldn't hear the ceremony over the din of kids, but we did get to hear the main portion (although Gus demanded to use the potty as Obama rose to take the oath!). Margaret forgot to get out her confetti, but everyone enjoyed it, and we had a great time with friends.

And yesterday morning, I heard them say on the news, "today, the President plans to issue new executive orders" and my heart jumped, because I wasn't afraid of what they would say! And the word "President" didn't cause me to tune out! Hooray!!

I know others have compared Yes We Can to Bob the Builder, but really, the Bob the Builder tune is always in my head lately. "Can we fix it? YES WE CAN!"

Aaaaaahhhhhh. Breathing a sigh of relief. Now the hard work begins. A new era of responsibility. I hope we're ready.

JLA

I have been seeing these oval stickers on the backs of cars around here. You know the ones: they're supposed to look like the international license tags they use in Europe. I saw one with JLA on the back of a minivan and thought, "wow, that person is a fan of the Justice League of America! Superman! Batman! Aquaman! " Then I started seeing them on other minivans. And while I know it's perfectly plausible that a minivan driver would be a comic book fan, I thought it seemed unlikely that there were so many of them. Until I drove by a place I see probably weekly, and it occurred to me that the more likely candidate to be the organization in question was the Junior League of Atlanta. Which of course makes more sense. But I still like to think there are minivan moms out there rocking the Justice League.

Here's what I'll miss

I've been counting down the days to January 20, 2009 for a loooong time, but I thought I'd give W some props, since he's finally leaving. I don't know whether or not he's responsible for keeping us safe from additional terror attacks since 2001, but I guess since it was on his watch, I'll go ahead and let him take credit for that. It doesn't negate the civil rights problems, the divisiveness, the arrogance, the death of so many soldiers and civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan, or the decay of our reputation around the world. But really, the part of his presidency I liked the best was this:

Margaret lost her tooth

OK, so this happened a week ago, but I am still getting caught up from the holiday madness.






It was the first tooth she got too, and the one next to it is loose now too (she always got her teeth within a few days of each other).

And for complete perspective, here's the only picture I can find of her first teeth. It's hard to see them, but there they are.



I swear she just got that tooth!!!

Henry's Colors

This morning, Henry threw a fit because the pants I grabbed for him to wear with his shirt didn't match (they were brown, and the shirt was green). He insisted that I find the green pants to match the shirt. Margaret is pretty picky with her clothes, but she deliberately refuses to wear the matching sets of clothes usually. This is my first experience with a child who wants to match.

On that same topic, Henry is frighteningly good with colors. Most kids (and my husband) are pretty general on their colors, lumping fuschia in with pink or whatever. But Henry is very specific. He'll point out a color that is "bluey green" or accurately assign a lime green to green instead of yellow. Wes is green-yellow color blind, so clearly, Henry hasn't inherited that.

Today

I'll try to post an update about the holidays, etc. soon, but right now, Margaret is asleep in bed and has been nearly all day, running a fever of about 101. Henry is camped out in front of the computer, playing games on trucktown.com. I think we've created a monster.

Happy New Year!!!

Suddenly, I'm a capitalist.

So I've been brainstorming in my head how we can stimulate the economy, save jobs, and not reward the big 3 car companies for their miserable products and overstuffed organizations. So what if instead of putting the whatever-gazillion dollars into these companies, we let them fail and offer the money to a start-up with an idea of developing cars that run on a clean technology. Let's even say they could then utilize the skilled workforce that would otherwise be unemployed, and maybe they could use the factories that would otherwise stand idle. It's risky, but is it any riskier than letting these companies throw good money after bad when they clearly don't seem interested in making the changes that need to be made? Just a thought.

Current events

So as I listened to the news about job losses in the U.S., I realized that THREE of my friends have lost jobs in the last month. So yeah, it's bad out there. Wes' company has had multiple rounds of layoffs, to the point that he is now the sole guy in his area. His boss was laid off this week. A bigshot in the company told Wes that his job was safe, but I wonder for how long? I do keep telling myself that during the Depression, 75% of the population did have a job, so statistically, that's bad but at least most people were working. But yikes.

So, we've opted to have a less elaborate Christmas. We're hosting our group of friends' annual holiday potluck this year, which is always great fun, but toning down the gift giving. I think I might actually like it better. I really am enjoying not being in stores much at all. Now if I can only get grocery delivery to exist again, I would be sooo happy.

I have been hearing the terrible stories from Zimbabwe and it just makes me so sad. As a teenager, I read a story about Zimbabwe and decided then and there that I would visit it someday, but clearly, that trip will never happen until Robert Mugabe is gone. He needs to go now.

Election stickers

In the past couple of days, I've seen two cars with Kerry/Edwards stickers on them. Weirdly, they did not have Obama/Biden stickers also. One of the stickers looked kinda new, so either that person has a garage to keep the car in, or else they just put on the 2004 sticker as some sort of time travel. Huh.

I seriously doubt these results

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Keith Olbermann on Prop 8

Oh how I love Keith Olbermann.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCBczUzEb1A

You're not dreaming

This cartoon from Mike Luckovich was printed over the summer, but it's a fitting one for today, too.

Real America

This morning I woke up to a new America. Seven years ago, I could never have imagined this day. Then, I lived in a divided America, an "if you are not with us, you are against us" America, an America that used the flag as a threat to those who dare to express a dissenting opinion.

Today, I live in an America whose leaders talk about coming together to find common ground to solve our problems. President-elect Obama promises to tell us the truth, and asks for our commitment to work hard to make this country better. He doesn't promise that it will be easy, and his honestly is so refreshing and oddly reassuring. Gone are the days when we are asked to shop in order to prove our patriotism. I look forward to a living in a nation where red states and blue states work together to help each other and get out of the mess we have created.

Listening to both speeches last night brought me to tears. John McCain's speech was beautiful and moving and so inspiring. His post-campaign self returned him to the John McCain who is a true patriot who loves his country, instead of the candidate John McCain who spoke divisively. I dare say he sounded more comfortable speaking last night than he has sounded in months, and I truly believe that he means it that he will work with President Obama to bring change to our nation.

I wept this morning as I listened to John Lewis talk about all of the civil rights leaders who he wished could have seen this day. Barack Obama was not elected because of his race, but having a person of color in the White House is long overdue. I feel like the wonderful diversity of our nation will finally be respected and celebrated. Not just racial diversity, but religious, political, sexual, cultural and educational diversity. We don't all have to be alike to get along, or find common ground. The beauty of this nation is not our homogeneity, but our heterogeneity.

Today, we are all Real America.

Voted!

I got to the polling place (a few blocks from my house) at 5:45 am, polls opened at 7 am, and I was voting by 7:20 and home by 7:30. I even got some knitting done while I waited. Everyone in line was in a good mood, and the poll workers had everything so orderly and quiet. Wes had his early morning call to China while I was gone, and left for work after I got home.

I'm headed to a friend's house tonight to watch returns until the kids are too tired (not too late, probably, since M has school tomorrow). I swear, if there is no winner declared by the time I wake up on Wednesday, or I'm going to be a maniac. I'm hoping for a blow out, so there is no question of who the winner is.

Yay, voting! Woo hooo!!!!

Poor planning

I just spent 45 minutes in line, $5 in parking, $8 for lunch and 75 cents on a mechanical car ride in an attempt to vote downtown, only to be told (after 45 minutes in line) that the line INSIDE would take about 3.5 hours. Since I had to get Margaret from school in about 2 hours, I decided that wouldn't work. I really shouldn't have spent the money, because I really need to be saving like mad for the holidays, but I got there right before lunch.

My current plan is to get to our local polling place at 5 am on Tuesday (it's only 3 blocks from our house) and wait until they open at 7. Wes said he would hang out at home until I got back, so he won't miss so much work, and the kids won't have to wait with me for hours. Sounds like a plan.

Can I just say how exciting it is that people are so jazzed to vote that they are willing to wait in hours long lines to do it? Yay, democracy!!

Chili

I made chili for dinner last night, but I put too much spice in it so the children couldn't eat it and Wes had a grumbly tummy for the whole night. : ( I loved it, but now I have a ton of too-spicy chili I have to eat by myself. I'm going to add some more beans and tomatoes to see if it will calm down.

Song of the Day

Athens band Of Montreal was on today's All Songs Considered. Nice to see some familiar folks getting their due, especially my old friend Bryan, who I've sadly lost touch with. I'm glad to see them all doing well. So go listen to their song!

school

Last week, we attended a meeting for prospective parents of our local elementary school. I attended this meeting last year and was very impressed with the school, but I wanted to go again because a) M will actually be in Kindergarten next year, so it's time to start getting to know the school, and b) I wanted Wes to have a chance to see the school so I'm not the only parent doing school things.

Last year was the principal's first year, and the meeting focused on the new organic garden, the IB curriculum, and the PTA's efforts to improve the school lunches (including the possibility of serving produce grown in the school's garden in the cafeteria). A few parents spoke about their decision to pull their kids out of the fancy private schools to attend this public elementary. No wonder I was in love with the school then!

Those things are still going on, I think, although you wouldn't know it from this year's meeting. Apparently it was guided by questions the principal received last year from prospective parents, because this year's meeting theme was apparently, "We have black and Hispanic kids at this school, but we're still a great school!!!" No kidding. And yes, the room was overwhelmingly filled with white people.

Our school is in a wealthy (and mostly white) neighborhood, but the lower half of the district (where we live) is more diverse, economically and culturally. The upper half of the district is mostly homes worth half a million or more (on up into the millions), and the lower edge homes probably sell (on average) for around $300,000 and below, including some well below (a trailer park in the industrial district, for instance, and some less expensive homes near the university). The population of the school is about 1/3 white, 1/3 African-American, and 1/3 Hispanic, and somewhere around 30% of the kids are on free/reduced lunch. For me, this is a huge benefit, because I prefer for my kids to go to a school that actually resembles the real diversity of America, racially and economically, but we were planning on going to public school regardless. The other local elementary schools in the rich neighborhoods are mostly white, very wealthy and have little diversity (from what I hear). The governor's mansion is in one of those districts, so this is the super-fancy set for the most part. They also have higher test scores and are the "name" schools in the area. One reason prices are so high is probably partly because of the reputation of those schools.

I'm not a test score junkie. I realize that there many more aspects to a good school than the test scores. But apparently lots of parents call the principal to ask why the scores at our school are a little lower than the other nearby schools. It seems they may also ask why the children of color are there, because one "myth" the principal addressed was "Kids from other parts of town are bussed in." The principal noted in his talk that he "gets this question a lot," but "these kids live in the district and we're glad they're here!"

I can't even imagine calling up the principal of the school to essentially ask, "hey, why are all these Black and Hispanic kids here????" The speakers at the meeting essentially tiptoed around the issue directly, but talked about how great it was that their kids get to go to school and be with kids who are "different" (the one story about the kindergartener who returned to school after his boating accident in a wheelchair was, I think, meant for us to feel all warm and fuzzy about the school, but while I sympathized with the injured child and the tragedy of his accident, Wes and I were in hysterics as the speaker tried to get us to understand how great it was for her daughter to have been exposed to this "diversity"!).

I feel a little sorry for the principal. It's a big deal for kids whose parents can afford to send their kids anywhere to choose the public school. And from what I hear, he's an excellent principal, and I don't think these are his issues, just the ones he's been bombarded with.

It does kind of freak me out that people are that willing to reveal their racism. I guess I always assume it's more undercover than that. But I guess it's good to know. Boy, am I sheltered.

But hey, there's a huge participation in the PTA, so I won't feel like I have to volunteer for everything that happens. And seriously, there's tons of cool stuff. The gifted ("challenge") program starts in first grade and does everything from claymation movies to robotics. There is a new science lab for the whole school. I'm sure every parent in the room thinks *their* kid is going to be in the challenge program, and I'm no different, but even if M doesn't get in, I think she'll be well-served there. She's very excited about the science lab.

I'm going to register for a tour and talk to the principal about substitute teaching there next year. It would be much more convenient than my current sub gig, and I'd get to know the school better. Wish me luck!

Pumpkins!

We went to a pumpkin farm yesterday with my mom, and had a fabulous time! Naturally, I forgot my camera, so I have no photographic evidence to prove it, but I did bring home 8 pumpkins. I guess if I get ambitious, I could photograph those. Stay tuned.

All in all, it was fantastic. The weather was perfect, the hayride was really cool, and the kids really enjoyed picking out pumpkins. Next year, I'd love to make a weekend of it by maybe camping at the state park nearby and hiking there one day and doing the pumpkin patch the next. I'd like for Henry to be out of diapers by then, though.

Hooray for fall activities!

Economy

I'm trying to remain optimistic about the economy, but it didn't stop me from getting extra beans and canned vegetables at the store the other day. I figure I'll just quietly stockpile a few dry goods. It can't hurt, right?

Wes found this graphic on the Dow Jones: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:DJIA_historical_graph.svg . He wonders if the real "value" of the market is somewhere down near the 2000s.

I keep thinking that maybe this will be the thing that shakes up our generation and we can become the next Greatest Generation. But I'm worried that the generation that lived through the Great Depression had recent trials to endure in at least historical memory, like WWI. I'm not sure that our generation has had anything nearly so difficult to live through (despite some exhortations that "this is a difficult time to raise children," I tend to believe that until now, things have been pretty darn great). Are we up for it? I like to think that as Americans, we aren't as whiny as Phil Gramm says we are, but are we? Can we pull ourselves up and survive a really bad economy? I sure hope so. Mostly what I hope is that there are some people who have money to buy all the stuff I'll want to sell if things go really badly for us.

But hey, isn't it great that we don't have a lot of investments to lose? (insert eye roll here)

Trumpet of the Swan

We're rereading E.B. White's Trumpet of the Swan this week. It might be Margaret's favorite book. She's very insistent that we plan a trip to Montana to see the Trumpeter swans, and I'm inclined to agree with her. There is something so very charming about the book, about a swan born mute who first learns to read and write, and then gets a trumpet to communicate. He has many adventures stemming from his need to pay for and keep his possessions. It's gorgeous, and sweet, and hilarious.

Favorite passage this week:

"This is real groovy!" cried a boy in the front seat. "That bird is as good as Louis Armstrong, the famous trumpet player. I'm going to call him Louis."

When Louis heard this, he swam alongside the boat, took his chalk pencil in his mouth, and wrote: "That's actually my name."

I have to keep reading that over and over again, because the line, "That's actually my name," results in many giggles in our house.

September update

Let's see, I've been remiss about posting lately.

First, I finally finished the continuing ed credits I needed to renew my teaching certificate. I imagine this is not a big deal if you work full time in a school system, but as a rarely-working sub, I have had to find my own way to complete those credits. I finished the last of the classes early this month, but I couldn't get in touch with anyone at the licensing board to find out how to turn them in. So I drove downtown last week to turn them in in person, and they approved everything and will be mailing me my new certificate in 2-4 weeks. YAY! Now I'll need to figure out what subject to add on to my certificate to make me more marketable, but I'll worry about that once I get Henry in school.

I finished the Couch to 5K program! I'm going to run in a 5K on October 19, so I'm going to concentrate on getting my speed up a little (no one wants me to be out there for an hour).

Margaret has been working hard to not be so shy lately. She went to the dentist last week, and was a total rock star! She spoke directly to the dentist and the hygienist (a HUGE deal if you know Margaret), and cheerfully endured an x-ray and tooth cleaning. I'm really proud of her for making this effort. It was totally her idea, too!

My in-laws are having a rough year health-wise. It's nothing life-threatening, but both of them have had various issues this year that have resulted in a lot more hospital visits than I like. If you have any spare vibes to send them, please do.

Margaret is Five!!

My darling girl turned 5 last week. I really can't believe how quickly the time has gone since she was born. I can so vividly remember that ride home from the hospital, and the sheer terror of knowing that we were completely responsible for the tiniest, loudest person I had ever known. Those first few weeks were crazy, with my total exhaustion from surgery, the helplessness I felt upon finding that I had exactly one tool to solve her crying fits, and sometimes that didn't work, and the total loss of our previous life as friends brought over gifts and sat for awhile while I had no conversation except to recite the number of times she had eaten or pooped. I'm sure my pajamas-at-4pm attire and deer-in-the-headlights look was enough to scare of legions of visitors, so kudos to my friends for continuing to show up! Here we are, 20 hours after she was born. Wes and I managed to survive that year, and the 4 subsequent ones. Now Margaret has become a Daddy's girl (finally!) and a bit of a daredevil. She doesn't fear heights or dangerous configurations of swings and ropes, even after breaking her arm a year ago. She loves to write and is learning to read. She is very opinionated, and I'm not sure I'll ever discover the secret to getting her to try new things. She is painfully shy with new people, but with friends she knows well, she is a beloved leader who loves to make up new games to play. She has a memory like I've never seen, and will consider things she's seen or heard and months or years later, she'll ask about them again. She loves to draw, and is pretty good if I may say so. She loves to dig in the dirt and gets her dresses dirty. She loves dolls of all kinds, paper dolls, Barbies, and baby dolls. She is very generous to her little brother, often sharing her things with him without being asked to. Her food choices tend to run a bit on the tedious side, with the standard pasta, PB&J, and toast being popular options, but she also loves canteloupe, apples, peaches, grapes, broccoli, edamame, chili, and sometimes (if we don't make a big fuss) she will eat brussels sprouts. I suspect that she'll become a vegetarian in high school, since she eats so little meat now, especially compared to her carnivore brother. She loves to bake with me, and we have cranked out cookies, cakes, soft pretzels, breads, and a myriad of other delicious treats. She is always developing some contraption or other, so I have to keep an eye out that she doesn't accidentally strangle her brother or herself on one of her projects.

She is in preschool full time this year, and I really miss not knowing what is going on with her for so many hours a day. When I ask about her day, she usually responds with "I forgot" even though she can remember what I was wearing on her last birthday. Every day she has a different best friend, and she can't understand the boy who thinks that boys only play with boys, because that's just not true.
Here she is at the birthday party we had at the house, with 21 (!!!) kids in attendance. The kids ran around the yard, played on the swingset, trapeze and slide, and covered themselves in sand in the sandbox.

I adore her. She's got such spunk, and I am really enjoying watching her become her own person.

Sarah Palin

Let me be clear. I will not be voting for any ticket with Sarah Palin on it. I disagree with a huge majority of her polices, and while a John McCain Presidency previously sounded like an unpleasant but acceptable possibility if the Democrats couldn't win, the addition of Governor Palin to the ticket is absolutely a deal-breaker for me (not that I was planning to vote Republican in any case, I’m just talking about the level of my anguish should the GOP win yet again). Book banning, Creationism, drilling in ANWR and her strict anti-choice stance make me quiver in fear that she could become President.

But, I have been increasingly disturbed at the rhetoric I have heard from both sides of the debate commenting on the fact that her job is taking precedence over her family. I had hoped that we would be past this discussion by now, but apparently it really is still ok to criticize a woman for her choices in regard to her work-family balance.

Before knowing anything about her politics, my first thought upon hearing her introduced as the GOP VP nominee was that compared to her, I felt like a real slacker. She's only 5 years older than me, and I'm tired just thinking about all that she has accomplished. She was back to work in 3 days after her son was born, while I was still wearing pajamas all day weeks later. She has an impressive drive and energy, and her accomplishments, including that time as a hockey mom, are inspiring.

While I agree that the campaign’s discussion of her family life at every turn is pretty inconsistent with their simultaneous finger-wagging at the “Democrats” for discussing her family life. And feel free to talk about how “saying no thank you to that bridge to nowhere” is a lie, or to discuss her “fiscal responsibility” or whether or not she’s a “maverick” as she claims to be. I’m just saying, let’s take the high road and show that we really do respect women’s rights, and accept that she’s a very driven, accomplished woman who got an amazing opportunity to run for Vice President and took it (who wouldn’t, really?). No one asks Barak Obama how his little girls will fare living in the White House, or chastises him for not being there for their bedtime, nor should they. I’m just saying, let’s be fair.It’s 2008. Let’s act like it.

Pizza Night

We made homemade pizza tonight, from dough I made up in the bread machine. I had my neighbor's kids for dinner, and the kids all got to put toppings on their own personal pizzas. They seemed to have fun, although they didn't really eat a lot. I thought it was all really delicious, though! I have extra dough, so I froze it, and I guess we can have it again.

It worked out great b/c when I called my neighbor to invite them over for dinner, she told me that she and her husband were just discussing how to find a babysitter to go out for the evening, because he had a rare Friday night off. AND she had just made some pizza sauce the day before! It was like it was meant to be. The kids had fun here, and they got to go out. And I found a way to make the last night before Wes comes home more entertaining for everybody. Yay me!

Cashew Allergy

It looks like Henry has an allergy to cashews. He had some at my parents' house the other day and broke out in hives. We couldn't find any children's Benadryl, but some children's Zyrtec cleared it up right away. So today I picked up an epi-pen from the pharmacy and I'll be making an appointment at the allergist. What's weird is that our neighbor's son has a cashew allergy as well. I'm wondering if our neighborhood is built on a superfund site.

On one level, I'm just glad it's not peanuts. I am pretty sad for him, though. Since cashews are tree nuts (legumes, actually), he has to stay away from all tree nuts, including pecans. So that pecan pie I was looking forward to making from this year's crop of pecans is out. Now I'm not even sure if we should harvest the pecans or just throw them out. I guess we could give them away.

At least I'm not freaking out. I hope the visit to the allergist doesn't actually cause me to freak out. Stay tuned.

Happy Anniversary to Us

Today is our 7th wedding anniversary. Every day I am so thankful to be married to such a spectacular man. Wes is kind, thoughtful, patient, and funny. I was such a terrible girlfriend to him the various times we dated during the 12 years before we were married, and I am so thankful he was willing to take me back once I figured out what I really wanted. He's my best friend, my soul mate, and the love of my life. We've built such a fantastic life together that I really wouldn't change anything. He makes marriage seem so easy.

Unfortunately, he's out of the country at the moment, so we'll celebrate when he gets back in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, I sent him a mushy e-card. Ah, 21st century love.

Election

We have a primary election today that will decide several important races. I have to say the decline in newspapers has really affected the coverage of the election. I really could care less about how proud Chipper Jones' dad is of him, yet it's really important to me who is my state house representative and sheriff. Don't get me wrong, I love Chipper, and the Braves, and I'm sure Larry, Sr. is mighty proud, but it just doesn't affect my life in any significant way!

I know, I should be following these races in the months before election day, but if all the local newspapers cover is fires and human interest stories, it's really hard to find info. There's nothing in the local papers, even in previous months, that is helpful at all. Honestly, I cannot find anything other than the League of Women Voters' online voter's guide to tell me the history of these two candidates, like whether either of them has been competent in any way in the past. Their own answers to questions in the voters' guide is fine, but it's not much more than election campaign slogans.

I guess I'm reduced to voting based on endorsements. And I know I should probably buy the newspaper so that newspapers had the money to cover the stuff that was really important instead of what sells papers, but maybe it just makes me sad that the election stuff doesn't sell papers. Hell, if the AJC would publish a real voters' guide, with profiles of each candidate, even in the measly court clerk race, I might even pay $10 for that. As it is, I've wasted the whole morning looking up information, only to find mostly nothing.

Rain

For background, Atlanta is having a big old drought. It's not the worst ever, but combined with the growth in population, it's been pretty significant. A local garden center chain had to declare bankruptcy over the winter because the rules against watering destroyed their business.

So, I took three kids to a movie in midtown today, forcing them to walk in the pouring rain for 3 blocks, all the while thinking, "it wasn't supposed to rain ALL day today!"

So I was a little curious as to how much rain we actually got today, and I see this on Weather Underground:
****************
Statement as of 8:16 PM EDT on July 13, 2008

... Record daily maximum rainfall set at Atlanta...

a record rainfall of 2.1 inch(es) was set at Atlanta today.
This breaks the old record of 1.45 set in 1911.
*****************

I assume this is just the record for today, but I wonder what the record rainfall ever is for Atlanta? I'm procrastinating right now, so I can't spend time googling it, but if anyone finds out, I'd be curious.

The kids seemed delighted that the drought was over. I didn't have the heart to tell them that this still wasn't enough rain to actually remove the drought, especially since we all had wet feet. Luckily, they took the whole thing as an adventure and we had a good time watching the movie.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar

I've had reasonable luck with gardening this year, although I'm not growing any bumper crops. My 3 little beans, and so far 2 ripe grape tomatoes, but lots and lots of green tomatoes. The only bugs I've seen have been small and easy to dissuade. And I don't mind sharing the leaves of the plants with tiny bugs.

But this afternoon I went outside to check things out, and noticed a whole stalk of my tomato plant was missing leaves and fruit. Clearly something had eaten it. Upon closer inspection, I saw that the eating thing was still there, and still eating. It was devouring my tomatoes!! Here's a fuzzy picture of the real thing:
and here's a better picture of it, in all it's beautiful/horrible glory:Sadly, it appears that handpicking is the best way to get rid of it. People, this thing is as big as my index finger, and it eats FAST! I couldn't imagine touching it, so instead I cut off the stem it was on and dropped the whole thing in our "caterpillar jar." That's right, the thought of stepping on it grossed me out so much, I let it live in a jar in my kitchen. Gah!!

Now I know why I like supermarkets so much.

The Power of Snoopy

Apparently, Snoopy band-aids have incredible healing power. Henry just came to me complaining about his sister hitting him, and he required a Snoopy band-aid with cream on it. So I dabbed a bit of antibiotic salve on a Snoopy band-aid and put it on his knee (once he decided the injury was there and not his finger, or "fingee"). Within seconds, it was "all bettee Mom" and he took it off and went on his way.

So be sure to stock up on the incredible healing Snoopy band-aids!

Single mama time again

Wes is leaving for China again tomorrow for the second time this summer. He'll have spent 4 of 6 weeks this summer in China. I'm getting more relaxed about being by myself but I really miss him when he's gone. Sadly for Margaret, he is not accompanying the baby panda back to China, nor is he going to win the gold medal in swimming. At least it seems likely that he'll be home before the Olympics, and I hope I can get the kids to watch some because I think they'd like it.

I instituted tv-free week here this week, and so far it's going really well. M didn't ask to watch yesterday at all, and this morning when she sleepily asked to watch something while I was still in bed, I reminded her about no-tv-week and she just climbed into bed with me and we went back to sleep. Until Henry woke up with the same tv request, and instead rolled around the bed keeping us awake. Later on, I heard him playing "watch movies!" with his animals. It's sad that watching tv/movies is a game in our house. But they've been playing together all morning without me. So I guess it's ok.

I'm trying to spend less time on the internet lately, because it's a huge time suck/mental energy drain for me. I think it might be a serious addiction. Last week we had 2 days with no internet due to modem issues, and I felt so free and efficient. I'm in the process of moving H into M's room, so that will free up his room to be an office. If I put the computer in there, it won't be right in my line of sight all day, so I can ignore it for long periods of time. That seems to be the healthiest thing for me. So don't worry if I seem to be ignoring you, internet. I'll get to you eventually, just maybe less frequently.

In the meantime, look what Wes and I accomplished on Sunday: This is what it used to look like before we pulled up the carpet and took the bed down:
Well, that's what it looked like a year ago, when you take all the bedding off the bed, but try to imagine. I'm in the process of priming the floor, then I'll paint it and it will be ready for us to go buy a new bed for the kiddoes. They complain mightily about the other kid stepping on them, etc. in that bed, so we're seriously considering this bed from IKEA, with M on top and H on the bottom:I have a few reservations about this: Like do they *really* want to sleep separately? And what happens when I have to lie down with someone in the middle of the night? Some friends who were here this weekend said they have the bed, and their kids *love* it, which is reassuring, but will *my* kids love it? It will make more space in the room, because it's twin sized instead of full. And Henry won't fall out of bed if he's on the floor.

OK, I'm done rambling.

This week

Somewhat eventful week. Wes got home from 2 weeks in China on Saturday, then had Monday off to recuperate. We had a nice quiet family weekend together.

I took the dogs to the vet on Monday morning and decided to walk, since Wes could stay home with the kiddoes and it was a nice day. Unfortunately, the morning dew made the grass damp, and I slid going down the hill at just the moment our neighbor's chihuahua decided to show how tough he is and ran off the porch to attack my dogs. My dogs thought they should check this out, so while they were pulling me down the hill, they changed course toward the other dog, causing me to tumble down the short hill. It wasn't too bad, but as I rolled, I thought, "hey, my knee is going to hurt later" and "please don't kill the neighbor's dog!" So I got upright with one dog still in hand, yelling for Wes to come and get the other dog, but my neighbor had things well in hand, with his dog in one hand and our dog's collar in the other. The chihuahua was still growling. I shudder to think what would have happened if ours had gotten hold of him. They aren't generally vicious, but the squirrels, birds and cats who enter our yard haven't fared well, so I worry about tiny dogs, even ones they know from sniffing across the fence.

Anyway, we spent the rest of the day post-vet going to IKEA and seeing Wall-E with the kids. As time wore on, I became less and less mobile, to the point that I was limping visibly by dinner. I had a meet and greet with a mayoral candidate that night, which I managed to get there and back, but I spent the rest of the evening with an ice bag on my knee. I'm pretty sure it's just twisted, because I can walk on it, even though it feels better with some wrapping on it, but it's the side-to-side motions that are no good. I've been on my feet a lot this week, and still it's not terribly swollen or worse, so I'll just wait it out.

We enjoyed Wall-E a lot, especially the fact that our kids could go with us. Margaret asked a million questions and got a little scared at one point, but otherwise they seemed to like it. I'm pretty sure the message went way over their heads, but that's ok. We got to see a movie in a theater!!

And on Sunday my dear friend Lewis turned me on to the fact that the Sunday paper had a card in it that would give me a free Starbucks coffee every day until July 14. FREE!! I was this happy:
I have been enjoying my daily coffee. Yum!

We had a nice cookout yesterday with friends for the 4th, and Wes did an awesome low country boil. Afterwards we went to the metropolis of Chamblee for fireworks. It was fabulous! No fighting traffic, no parking fee, no huge crowds. My friend Matt let us park at his house and we all walked down to the park, saw the fireworks, and walked back. Even the traffic getting out of his neighborhood was no big deal compared to the giant fireworks things in the city, and the program was great! The kids loved it too. Margaret thought it was too loud, but from the first explosion, Henry acted like this was what he had been waiting for his whole life. This might become a family tradition.

Who's Who? Me, that's Who!

I recently got this letter in the mail, addressed to me, at my real address:

You were recently chosen as a potential candidate to represent the professional and business community of Atlanta, Georgia in the Biltmore Who's Who Among Executives and Professional Women and 2008 Honors Edition.

We are pleased to notify you that your candidacy was formally approved May eighth, two thousand eight. Your confirmation will be validated within seven business days following our receipt of your enclosed Verification.

There is no cost to be listed. However it is by Committee invitation only.

The Publishing Committee selected you as a potential candidate, based upon your current standing as well as criteria from executive and professional rosters. Given your background, the Publishing Director believes your profile would make a fitting addition to our Honors Edition publication.

Once finalized, your listing will share prominent space in the Biltmore Registry with thousands of fellow achievers across the nation, each representing individual accomplishment within their own geographical area.

Our Registry confirmation deadline...

...on behalf of our Committee I salute your accomplishments. Welcome to the Biltmore Who's Who roster.

Sincerely,

Mandy Lowe
Registry Administrator

It's about time we stay at home moms/part-time substitute teachers got some real recognition in the business world.

I have to say it cracks me up, because even if I was working full time, I wouldn't be in any sort of business or executive position. I can only imagine it has something to do with my involvement with the neighborhood association, primarily that I'm the main contact person. I am frequently mistaken for the president of the association, when all I really do is keep the email list updated.

But hey, I'm in the Who's Who roster!!!

My first beans!

This is Wes with his fabulous box he built for my garden. I need to take a more recent picture of the whole thing, but look what we have now....

Ricki Lake, Abby Epstein and Jennifer Block respond

to ACOG's continued pressure against licensing homebirth midwives:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ricki-lake-jennifer-block-and-abby-epstein/docs-to-women-pay-no-atte_b_107845.html#postComment

Coincidence?

In a discussion on our local ICAN list, there seem to be an inordinate number of us who are Star Wars fanatics. For reals. Now I'm wondering if there is some sort of weird correlation between wanting a VBAC and loving Star Wars. Maybe we could use Star Wars love as a way to find those women who won't be happy with their c-sections.

Parents magazine comes through, but too late!

So I managed to change my Parents magazine subscription to Family Circle, because its lack of focus on babies and birth will quell my angry rages. But the May issue (I think it was May) of Parents had a couple of delicious, easy recipes for Thai Coconut soup and Tilapia Piccata. I made them both one night this week, and while Wes didn't love the tilapia, he did love the soup, and I loved both! The kids wouldn't touch either one, but they don't, as a rule, eat new foods, so there's still time to change their minds. But hooray for new and easy recipes! I even had to make some substitutions in the soup (used whole grain thin spaghetti instead of angel hair pasta, b/c it's what we had on hand and used frozen stir fry veggies instead of fresh snow peas and carrots, again b/c it's what we had) and yet it was still delicious!

Unlike most soups, the Thai soup doesn't get more delicious as a leftover, but it's still pretty good a few days later, so as long as I remember not to make it in enormous batches, I'll be fine.

1930's wife

39 As a 1930s wife, I am Poor Take the test!

Yet another blog I agree with

This one about Hillary Clinton.
http://www.jnoelbell.me.uk/2008/06/04/i-know-you-have-a-lot-of-strength-left/